How to Be Content: The Flaws in Our Selfish Expectations
Guest Post By: Tanya Hettler
Have you ever felt personally offended when you’re stuck in traffic? Or annoyed when you end up in the slow checkout line at the store? Do you find your attitude souring when you call customer service?
These everyday frustrations reveal how easily we slip into the mindset that the world should cater to our expectations. We forget how to be content.
Self-absorption comes naturally to us. We view life almost entirely from our own perspective and rarely pause to consider what others may be experiencing. Yet six of the Ten Commandments focus on how we treat other people. Clearly, our interactions with others matter deeply to God.
I once heard a speaker say that traffic is God’s way of reminding us that we are not the center of the universe. That simple statement has stayed with me.
Impatience
Years ago, I stood in a grocery line with a very slow cashier. The person with me became so impatient that he kicked the conveyor belt, knocking off a large metal panel with a loud clang. It is funny now—but at the time it was deeply embarrassing.
It’s easy to become so focused on our inconvenience that we lose sight of everyone else involved.
The same thing happens when we call customer service. We forget that the representative on the other end of the phone is a real person—and likely not personally responsible for our problem.
When I first began driving, I used to think it was incredibly inconsiderate that traffic would dare to make me late. It took many traffic jams before I realized something obvious: I was not the center of the universe. Everyone else stuck in that traffic was just as frustrated as I was.
Self-Denial
It’s easy to assume that whatever we are doing at the moment is the most important thing in the world. But Jesus challenges that mindset. In Luke 9:23–25 He says:
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.”
Jesus expresses the same truth in Matthew 6:33:
“Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
God’s kingdom is more important than our convenience. His purposes matter more than our schedules. We are called to reflect Christ to the world—yet how can we do that when we are irritated and demanding our own way?
Contentment in the Bible
Paul reminds us in 1 Timothy 6:6 that “godliness with contentment is great gain.” In Philippians 4:11–13, he writes:
“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances… I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation… I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
And this comes from the Apostle Paul—a man who suffered tremendously for the sake of Christ (see 2 Corinthians 11:23–27 for a sobering list of his trials).
Few of us can say we have endured more than Paul, yet even from prison, he urges believers to “Rejoice in the Lord always” (Philippians 4:4). His contentment was not rooted in comfort, but in Christ.
Be Quiet and Still
Scripture repeatedly encourages quietness and stillness instead of frantic striving. Our frustration in inconvenient moments often exposes a failure to trust God’s sovereignty and timing.
Psalm 46:10 reminds us, “Be still, and know that I am God.”
In 1 Thessalonians 4:11–12, Paul urges believers to “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life… so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders.” A quiet life is not necessarily silent; it is steady, peaceful, and free from unnecessary drama. It reflects trust. It reflects a heart that has learned how to be content in the stillness of the presence of the Lord.
Anger, on the other hand, is incompatible with this posture. As 1 Corinthians 13:5 tells us, love is “not easily angered.”
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A Servant Heart
In Matthew 20:28, when two disciples seek positions of honor, Jesus redirects their ambition. He reminds them that greatness in His kingdom looks very different:
“The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”
If Christ Himself came to serve, how can we insist on being served?
Paul echoes this in 1 Corinthians 10:24: “No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.” The Christian life shifts our focus from personal rights and convenience to the welfare of others.
We Owe Everything to God
Ultimately, we must remember that God created us and sustains us daily. Colossians 1:17 tells us that Jesus is “before all things, and in Him all things hold together.”
Hebrews 1:3 describes the Son as “the radiance of God’s glory… sustaining all things by His powerful word.”
Even our next breath is a gift. In view of God’s mercy, Romans 12:1 calls us to offer our bodies as living sacrifices—holy and pleasing to Him.
Our time is not truly ours. Our schedules are not ultimately ours. Our lives belong to Him.
Let Go of Expectations and Be Content in Him
In the end, our irritation in traffic, impatience in line, and frustration on the phone often reveal something deeper than inconvenience—they reveal our expectation that life should revolve around us.
But Scripture calls us to something better. Jesus calls us to deny ourselves, seek first His kingdom, live quietly, love patiently, and serve willingly.
When we remember that we owe everything to Him—our time, our plans, even our next breath—our perspective begins to change. The world is not here to serve us; we are here to reflect Christ.
Instead of demanding our rights, we can choose stillness over striving, patience over anger, and service over self-importance. And in those ordinary, inconvenient moments, we are given daily opportunities to display humility, trust, and the quiet strength of a life centered not on self, but on God.
OUR GUEST’S BIO
Dr. Tanya Hettler has a Ph.D. in psychology and worked as a Christian counselor and then as a researcher and writer for a conservative think tank. I have had a blog website called Deep Thoughts with Dr. Tanya for more than 10 years which you can see at www.tanyathedoc.com.
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Self-absorption comes naturally to us. We view life almost entirely from our own perspective and rarely pause to consider what others may be experiencing. But is this what the Lord calls us to?