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The Truth Behind Finding Your Purpose
There is a lot of talk in the world about finding your purpose in life. In order to find your purpose, you don’t need to look to your friends, take all the personality tests, or read all the latest self-help books. Finding your purpose in life starts with…
When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? Did you have aspirations, hopes, and dreams when you were a little girl? Is that what you’re doing now?
When I was younger, I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. It’s not that I didn’t have any high aspirations or goals, but the only thing I ever wanted to be was a mom. So when high school came around and it was time to start thinking about college and selecting a major, I struggled. I remember it felt like I just picked a major out of thin air because it sounded interesting, and because going to college and pursuing a career was what I was “supposed” to do.
That mentality put me on a course of transferring schools 3 different times and changing my major twice…all within 2 ½ years of college. From Virginia to Philly, back to my hometown in PA, you could say I spent my time on an East Coast college tour.
It wasn’t until the end of my college experience that I came to a revelation. In the Speech class I was taking, we had to do a short presentation about what we wanted to do after we graduated. I remember fumbling around with what to say because I was only thinking in terms of careers; I mean, that’s what we were there for right? It was then that I realized, that wasn’t me. That wasn’t what was on my heart and I knew if it had to be a passion I made up, it probably wasn’t real.
So I did my presentation on why I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.
That was the point that I realized how foolish the last 2 ½ years had been. I’d been walking on a path leading to nowhere instead of following something the Lord had put on my heart.
Flash forward 17 years later— and I bet you’ll never guess what I do now. ;)
I know many who are living out their childhood dreams, just as I am now blessed to stay home with my kids; and I know many more whose lives look completely different than they imagined. I’m sure you do too.
And, guess what? Both scenarios are ok.
Oftentimes we have no idea what we want in life (and I’m talking about us now, as adults!). We think we do; we think we know what’s best, and sometimes we may to a degree. But, many times what we would choose for ourselves is not what the Lord would have for us.
The key question is always, “What does the Lord have for me?”
How to Find Your Purpose
There is a lot of talk in the world about finding your purpose in life. In order to find your purpose, you don’t need to look to your friends, take all the personality tests, or read all the latest self-help books.
Finding your purpose in life starts with seeking the Lord. He is your Creator– He made you; He formed you in your mother’s womb and has all of your days fashioned (Psalm 139:16). He knows your worth, your value, and what He has planned for your life.
It starts with the Lord, sister. It begins with prayer– coming before your Heavenly Father and bearing your soul to Him.
Ask Him to reveal to you what it is that He is calling you to do. He may not give you every detail and notion and layout His entire path for you in one sitting, but He will reveal something to you. You just need to be ready to receive it and to obey, especially if it looks nothing like what you thought it would (which happens often!).
“My son, if you receive my words,
And treasure my commands within you,
So that you incline your ear to wisdom,
And apply your heart to understanding;
Yes, if you cry out for discernment,
And lift up your voice for understanding,
If you seek her as silver,
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
Then you will understand the fear of the LORD,
And find the knowledge of God. ”
your desires, or God’s?
Psalm 37:4 says that when you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. But take caution— that doesn’t mean that He’ll give you anything and everything that you desire or want.
What it means is more along the lines of this: When you seek Him and all He is with the purpose of growing deeper in your knowledge of Him, and therefore getting to know Him better, you’ll begin to delight in Him (I mean, how could you not– He is such a good God!). When you delight in Him, your heart will begin to change, the desires and plans He has for your life will become evident to you, and they will become your desires as well.
So, as a Christian woman, the question is not how to find your purpose; the question is, how to seek God more deeply so you can get to a point where you wholeheartedly delight in Him.
Seek the Lord. Pursue righteousness. Delight in Him. As He reveals His will to you, find your calling in Him, not in the world or your own will.
RELATED: How to Pursue Righteousness
A Lesson from Paul
Paul was called to preach the gospel, and he knew it. For him, it wasn’t an option– the Lord called him, and he would be obedient to do so. The word woe is an exclamation of grief. In other words, to Paul, it’d be a tragedy affecting the deepest depths of his soul to not preach the gospel.
“ For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for necessity is laid upon me; yes, woe is me if I do not preach the gospel!”
Do you feel that way about anything in life? Is there anything in your life that you feel would cause you to literally die if you don’t get to do it? For me, it’s being a mom. I always knew in the depths of my soul that I wanted to be a mom. Woe is me if I can’t be a mom.
Paul was walking in such close steps with the Lord that He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was to be preaching the gospel.
I don’t believe Paul was any more special than you are today, sister. The Lord created you as His workmanship: He has good works that He prepared for you before you were born, and He desires for you to walk in them (Ephesians 2:10).
To determine and carry out what the Lord is calling you to do, you need to use discretion, discernment, and eliminate distractions. Let’s briefly dive into each of these and see the role they play.
What is Discretion?
The general description of discretion is the right to choose what should be done in a particular situation. Biblically, discretion often goes hand-in-hand with obtaining wisdom. When we receive and properly utilize God’s wisdom, knowledge and discretion will be found in our lives (Proverbs 8:12). We’ll be able to approach a situation with God’s view in mind, and act accordingly based on His Word.
We see that the Lord used discretion in creation:
“He has made the earth by His power,
He has established the world by His wisdom,
And has stretched out the heavens at His discretion. ”
Sister, if you are seeking the Lord as we talked about, you’ll be in close communication with the Father. This means that His will for your life won’t be unobtainable knowledge floating around in some vast unknown. As you’re wrestling with knowing what the Lord is truly calling you to do, you must use discretion in the form of godly wisdom to filter out the noise.
Does what you presume to be your calling line up with the Word or does it seem to have a worldly bend to it? Will it keep you on the Lord’s path, or provide opportunities to pull away from Him? These are all things you can consider when finding your purpose.
Because discretion is one of the results of obtaining wisdom (Proverbs 8:12), you can rest assured knowing that God’s wisdom never fails. If you allow it, discretion will preserve you (Proverbs 2:11), keeping you safe as you venture into the Lord’s will for your life.
Discernment in the Bible
Then comes the path, sister— the path you take which the Lord has called you to. In order to stay on this path, faithfully doing what the Lord intends requires discernment.
Whether this path is ministry, a new job, relocation, selecting a future spouse, or school choice for your kids– you must use discernment while walking out your calling. It’s imperative.
The standard dictionary definition of discernment is the ability to judge people and things well. As we view discernment in the Bible, we see that it goes much deeper and more specifically than that.
Under the Law, one of the roles of the priests was to teach the people the difference between right and wrong; holy and unholy (Ezekiel 44:23). They were to help them to discern the difference between the world’s ways and God’s way. But for us, now living under grace, in Christ, we have the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. He then brings us spiritual discernment— day by day, moment by moment.
Sister, as you grow in the Lord, seeking Him, and spending time in the Word, you progress in spiritual maturity. Thus, your discernment grows.
“But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. ”
Without spiritual discernment, you are susceptible to falling into the world’s traps. You don’t realize what you are doing. You’re blinded and more easily engage in foolish living. You can’t distinguish between the Word of God and man’s philosophy.
Indeed, discernment is what helps you to have understanding and to walk uprightly (Proverbs 15:21).
No matter what the Lord is calling you to do, it’s folly to venture into your calling with a lack of discernment. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, you have the ability to discern good from evil, unholy from holy; fruitful from fruitless. And, this is not just in the big things, sister! In even the smallest of the “next steps” or decisions you have to make, the Spirit will guide you if let Him.
Don’t ignore Him!
When you cry out for discernment and ask for understanding, the Word says you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God (Proverbs 2:3;5).
I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a pretty good deal to me!
Eliminate Distractions and Focus on Your Calling
Distractions keep up from focusing on the Lord’s calling in our lives. The first step to eliminating distractions is to identify and acknowledge the things that are in fact distractions. Don’t waste another moment of unnecessary time, sister! Download the FREE Time Wasters Log containing easy, actionable steps to win back your time.
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Eliminate Distractions
Again sister, you’ll find a lot of information and direction from the world teaching you how to find your purpose. Just do a Google search and you’ll see. Yet, I believe two of the main reasons most people never live out their purpose are because:
Their will does not line up with God’s will. Without belief in and acceptance of Christ’s redemptive work on the cross and the Holy Spirit’s guidance, there’s no way they can be in tune with the Lord.
They decide their purpose (on their own), and additionally allow every other facet of their life and voices in the world to distract them.
Remember that story I told you about my college experience? Yup, that was a few years of being distracted!
A distraction is a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else.
A thing. Any thing.
Sister, your best attempts to serve the Lord and your best commitments to your church can be distractions if they aren’t what the Lord is calling you to do. Even if He was calling you to something during a previous season of your life, it may not still hold true now. His will for you at this moment may look differently now. This is why you must stay in constant communication with the Lord– He knows what you need and where you need to be at any given time.
Distractions don’t allow you to fully engage with the Lord as you should, and therefore you’ll likely miss what He is calling you to do.
Do you struggle to eliminate distractions in your life? I think most of us do. But it’s so important if you are to stay focused on His mission.
A few tips to eliminate distractions
#1: identify
The first thing that I’ve found to help me eliminate distractions is to first identify the distractions. We won’t get rid of them if we don’t see them as distractions, right?! Take an honest look at your life— what frivolous things are you doing that waste your time?
#2: evaluate
Evaluate your personal screen time. TV, social media, or games on your phone can be huge distractions if done too much. I don’t mean to sound harsh, sister, but if you never miss a beat on your Facebook feed but find it difficult to have a daily quiet time with God, you’re distracted.
#3: ask got for his viewpoint
Ask God to point out any good things that you may not initially view as distractions. This could be in the form of areas where you’re serving or certain relationships you have. Your heart and intentions may be pure and you’re likely doing a really good thing— yet, if it’s not what the Lord has for you at this time, it’s distracting you from His will for your life right now.
#4: pray for protection
Pray and ask the Lord to help you to keep distractions at bay. You can’t do it in your own strength! Distractions have a way of looking shiny and enticing. Let God help you stay focused.
#5: seek the lord
Seek God for His will for you now. Once your major distractions are out of the way you’ll be able to see more clearly what He wants you to do. Again, “finding your purpose in life” as they say, only comes in Him and through Him. So step one is always seeking the Lord.
You’re Called for a Purpose
You are a woman created on purpose, sister! Don’t forget that. You were created on purpose, yes, but the Lord also has a purpose in mind for you. Don’t miss it. He wants to reveal it to you, and He wants you to continually seek Him and be aware of when He’s telling you to transition from one season to the next.
Although yes, I am a stay-at-home mom, I wasn’t always. I worked full-time for a good 13 or 14 years (and became a mom during that time) before staying home. My working career brought me many blessings and taught me numerous skills that I now use in ministry and in writing this blog. So it served a purpose the Lord had in my life… for that time.
But when the season changed and He called me to stay home, that’s what needed to happen. He has different plans for me in this season, and I need to stay in tune with Him so I’m always aware.
Sister, His purposes for your life may not look the same in each season, but God is the same. He doesn’t change. And, He will be faithful to carry you through and guide you as you remain faithful to Him.
So, join me in spending less time seeking your purpose in life, and instead— just seek God. That’s where all the answers are found.
more encouragement in christian living
4 Impeccable Accessories for Every Christian Woman
When we think about our Christian character, we think about who we are in Christ. We are a new creation in Him, and our old ways, characteristics, traits, thoughts, and mannerisms are…
I must admit— I’m not the fanciest or trendiest person. I like to keep up as best I can, but you likely won’t see me rocking the latest style jeans, dresses, sweaters, or fill-in-the-blank. Being an Instagram-worthy fashionista is just a little bit daunting to me.
But, even if my cute sweaters are a little too “last season”, throwing on the right accessories kind of distracts from that a bit, am I right? I can put on some eye-catching earrings, a belt, or fancy shoes and give an old outfit a new look.
Accessories can heighten and change the look of almost any outfit— in or out of style.
So it is with our Christian character. While the Lord calls us to put on some new things once we become a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) and we are walking in His light— just like with our fashion— there needs to be a constant putting on of these things, daily. It’s not a one-time, “get it right forever” deal. It’s a regular yielding to the Spirit to help us live this way.
And, even with these “new things” that we put on, there are certain accessories that will heighten the way our new dress looks. These accessories upgrade our Christian character and conduct because being mindful to wear them means we are allowing God to control our newness of life, not ourselves.
Christian Character
When we think about our Christian character, we think about who we are in Christ. We are a new creation in Him, and our old ways, characteristics, traits, thoughts, and mannerisms are to be gone. When we allow the Lord to work in us and change us from the inside out, we become more and more like Him– walking in His ways, according to the will of God.
As we pursue the Lord and His righteousness, our Christian character becomes more crisp and resilient.
What are accessories?
If you haven’t read my post 7 Things Every Christian Woman Should Wear, take a few minutes to read about the main dress every Christian woman needs! These are the vital things we Christian women should be mindful to put on as we live out our new life in Christ. These traits are laid out for us by the Lord Himself in Colossians 3:12-14.
But, the accessories that go along with these 7 traits are very powerful parts of our Christian character that we should be mindful to put on— or rather, that we should allow to rule our inner beings.
As I state in my above-mentioned post, any well-put-together outfit strategically uses accessories to pull it all together. According to www.shopyourwardrobe.com, “Accessories provide interest to your outfit. Without them, you run the risk of getting bored with your wardrobe, and your outfits looking boring, because they’re always the same. Accessories extend the life of your clothes and familiar ensembles.”
The bottom line is, that we can try to pursue having a strong Christian character on our own and in our own strength, but these accessories are what hold it all up. That’s because they come from the Lord and are the workings of His might, not ours.
4 Accessories for Every Christian Woman
So sister, let’s heighten our dress with these important accessories.
#1: The Peace of God
True peace is only found through God— specifically through our acceptance of Christ’s redemptive work on the cross. As believers, we are called to the peace of God as believers. As a fruit of the Spirit, when the Holy Spirit dwells in us and we allow Him to lead us, we will fully experience His peace.
Having the peace of God means that we have comfort, security, and a calm that is present deep within our souls, no matter what our outside circumstances look like. We know that the Lord is our safety, He has us, and He will protect us.
It’s like Jesus sleeping on the boat in the middle of the storm. His disciples were in a state of panic. Jesus showed them the example of God’s peace.
His peace should rule (control) our hearts. This means that our thoughts, feelings, and emotions should NOT control us. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that the heart is deceitful above all things— this is why His peace needs to be in control, not our hearts.
His peace exists amidst ALL circumstances, not just the good ones.
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
We won’t always understand all of our circumstances because His peace is greater than our trivial understanding. It surpasses it. And, as we let it rule our hearts, it guards our hearts and minds against all uncertainty, doubt, fear, and emotions that lead us astray. Let His peace stand at the gates where our enemies dare to enter.
RELATED: Discover more about the importance of the Peace of God.
#2: The Word of Christ
As a Christian woman, it’s likely you know the importance of the Word of God in your life. But, let’s stop and really think about a few things.
The Lord writes the Word on our hearts and minds (Hebrews 10:16); therefore we should not forsake it. It should dwell in us richly.
The word for “dwell” in the original Greek means to inhabit; or to dwell in and influence for good. This isn’t just talking about head knowledge— anyone can memorize the Scriptures or “know” what the Bible says. Sister, this is more than that.
It’s as if the Word of God is to take up residence in our lives, so much so that it permeates our being and influences every thought and action we take.
“But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.”
The Lord gives us His Word so we have a standard, roadmap, and a manual by which to live. It is to dwell in us and be written on our hearts so we can live it out, not just know it.
The Word of God should become our internal operating system.
And, as Colossians 3:16 says, it won’t just dwell, but dwell richly. The Word of God can dwell in us richly because He gives it abundantly. What God gives us, He always gives us richly and abundantly (1 Timothy 6:17; Titus 3:6; 2 Peter 1:11).
The Word allows us to walk in wisdom (Psalm 119:98) — wisdom that comes from God– true wisdom. It guides us in all righteousness. But, we must know it, meditate on it, and live by it.
Ask yourself: What effect does the Word have in my life, actions, and conduct?
Bible Verses about the Word of God
These are just a few Bible verses about the Word of God. Comb the Scriptures yourself and discover many more! God desires that we know and understand the importance of the Word of God in our lives.
Hebrews 4:12; Psalm 119:98; Joshua 1:8; Luke 8:21; Luke 11:28: Ephesians 6:17; 1 Thessalonians 2:13; Revelation 19:13.
tools to help you dive deep into the word
Download your free Bible study printables and grow in your faith as you study the Word of God! Fill out the form below.
#3: Knowing the Importance of Worship
When the word dwells richly within our hearts, we have a greater understanding of who God is— His kindness, mercy, grace, goodness, and faithfulness. We feel and know the depth of His love for us. How could we not then have a worshipful heart? How could we not desire to sing praises to Him?
What is worship? Worship is to regard with great or extravagant respect, honor, or devotion. When we worship, we give God the honor and reverence He deserves. He and He alone is worthy to be praised.
Yet, sometimes our worship seems dry and forced. Ever feel that way, sister? We don’t have the umphf and pizazz we usually do. Well, I don’t believe this attitude within us has anything to do with the Lord. He doesn’t change. He is not less praiseworthy today than He was yesterday.
“He’s laid it all out for us— the expression of who He is written in the form of His Word, and physically seen through Jesus Himself. ”
No— I believe this lack of enthusiasm in our worship comes because we have not been spending ample time with the Lord in His Word. We have not been finding delight in His Word (Psalm 119:47), and therefore, our delight in Him is lacking. This is why making time for God is so crucial.
You can’t get to know someone you don’t spend time with. And, would you really speak praises to others about a person you don’t know? Of course not.
He’s laid it all out for us— the expression of who He is written in the form of His Word, and physically seen through Jesus Himself.
It’s our job to grab hold of the revelation He’s given us. The importance of worship shows itself in the end result: a heart that desires to teach and admonish one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord (Colossians 3:16).
RELATED: 22 Ways to Make Time for God
#4: A Consistent Christian Character
When we do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, we act consistently with Who He is and what He wants for our lives.
We yield to the Spirit in our everyday lives. No matter what decision we’re faced with, we take it to the Lord, allowing Him to guide our steps, direct our paths, and convict us on whether or not our actions line up with His Word.
“…for it is God who is at work in you, both to desire and to work for His good pleasure. Do all things without complaining or arguments; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world…”
When we do all in the name of the Lord, we show the same compassion for others as He does. We do His will without complaining, no matter how insignificant the actions seem. We are more concerned with God receiving the glory through us (1 Corinthians 10:31), as opposed to our comfortability.
RELATED: How to Make Decisions as a Christian
The Beautiful Accessories of Our Christian Character
Sister, what will it be for you? Will you don the eye-catching, spirit-lifting accessories the Lord calls us to wear? Will you spend ample time with the Lord, gain a deeper knowledge of Him, praise and worship Him, allowing the Word of God to dwell within you richly?
It’s a choice. Just like you choose to add accessories to any outfit you wear, you choose to put on these additional pieces of your Christian character.
I exhort you, sister to do so. In the process, you will grow in your love of the Lord and sing His praises to others. Is He not worthy of that?
More in Christian Living
Barnabas: A Lesson in Encouraging One Another
Take a moment and recall something someone said to you as a child that you still remember today. Remember the words and how they made you feel. Think about…
Take a moment and recall something someone said to you as a child that you still remember today. Remember the words and how they made you feel. Think about where you were, approximately how old you were, and who said it. Do you have the mental picture?
I bet you do. I also would guess that the words you heard were either extremely hurtful or amazingly encouraging.
How do I know that? Because we tend to remember– long after the incident has passed– words spoken that had a strong impact on our emotions, thoughts, and being.
Both hurtful and encouraging words do that.
We have the ability to do both in the lives of those around us— to either encourage one another or cause pain.
God has given us the ability to put off our old selves, which are filled with corruption through our evil desires, and instead walk in newness of life– a new life created in the likeness of God, exhibiting true holiness and righteousness (Ephesians 4:22-24).
When our minds are renewed by Christ and we allow Him to guide our thoughts and tongues, it is easier to encourage one another.
But, it is just as easy for us to allow our flesh to take over and do harm with our words. For when we relinquish the power of Christ in our minds for a moment, the power of our tongue, backed by our innate deceitful desires, takes over. Even if it’s just for a moment, we may end up speaking a phrase that will be remembered for years to come.
Power of the Tongue
Our words matter. That likely comes as no surprise to you. Since childhood, we’ve heard the rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I know the ultimate goal of this elementary teaching is to not let others’ words affect us so much and to learn how to not take things too personally.
But the truth is, words can, in fact, do hurt us.
Our tongues are a powerful little thing. They have the ability to speak deceit and evil (Psalm 34:13), or speak justice, and wisdom (Psalm 37:30), and tell of the Lord’s righteousness (Psalm 35:28).
Good vs. evil. Both are available in this small part of our body.
Our words have the power to tear down, build up, inspire, and belittle. With over 100 references in the Bible about the tongue and its capabilities, what makes us think that words hold no power and can never hurt us?
Sister, one of the facets of pursuing righteousness comes in the form of being mindful of the things we say. As believers, the Lord calls us to be uplifting and encouraging in our speech (Ephesians 4:29). To think we have no control over whether we do so is blindness.
What does the Bible say about encouragement?
It’s important to understand what the Word of God commands us not to do, but we cannot stop there. Knowing what the Bible says about encouragement and how we use our words gives us a basis for how we’re to conduct ourselves. And, using that knowledge, it’s our job to walk out that instruction day to day.
For example:
“Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification according to the need of the moment, say that, so that it will give grace to those who hear. ”
This verse is a go-to in terms of our speech. Not only does it tell us what not to do, but it also sums up beautifully how we should talk as believers.
In those moments when a thought pops into our heads and we’re contemplating whether or not to share it, we can come back to Ephesians 4:29 and ask ourselves,
Is this a corrupt or unwholesome thing to say?
Will it honor the Lord?
If I say it, will it encourage and edify those who hear?
Is this wasteful speech or will it fill a need at the moment?
Will it give any measure of grace?
we learn how to encourage one another from the Source
Encouragement is not a thoughtless and pointless gesture. Romans 5:5 says that God is the God of endurance and encouragement. If He is the God of encouragement, then know that encouragement is direct, precise, and purposeful, just as the Lord. It should be so as it manifests in our words and deeds as well.
The fact that He is the God of encouragement is good news for us! Although God uses us to encourage one another, we are not the source of the encouragement. We only need to look to Him, who He is, and all He has done.
There is encouragement in Christ (Philippians 2:1) — by the love He showed while living on earth, in His ultimate death on the cross, and through the power of His resurrection. When we allow these truths to permeate our being, we are filled with His encouragement and that is what we share with others.
“He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend.
”
I’ll say it again, sister— our words matter! Our conduct matters. Gracious speech that is based on His truth can turn even our greatest enemies into our friends and gives us the ability to gain the confidence of kings.
Barnabas in the Bible
Let me tell you about an often overlooked friend in the Bible. Acts 4:36 tells of a Levite man named Joseph, who the apostles called Barnabas. Barnabas means son of encouragement.
Barnabas is described as a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and of faith in Acts 11:24.
Shortly after Saul’s conversion to Christianity, Paul (formerly Saul) began preaching the name of Jesus. He came to Jerusalem where he attempted to join the disciples, but knowing Paul’s history of persecuting Christians, they were afraid of him. They didn’t believe that he truly was a disciple (Acts 9:26).
But, the son of encouragement steps in. Barnabas immediately went to Paul’s defense, personally bringing him before the disciples and sharing with them the details of Paul’s conversion and his preaching of the Word in Damascus thereafter (Acts 9:27). Barnabas, as a trusted brother in the Lord, was able to bridge the gap and alleviate the disciples' fear of this once-ruthless man.
The truth he shared about Paul encouraged the disciples enough that Paul then became one of their own— able to join them in preaching the name of Jesus in Jerusalem (Acts 9:28).
Barnabas’s encouragement cleared the confusion and promoted an atmosphere of peace amongst everyone involved.
Encourage one another with this free resource.
Sister, encouragement doesn’t take a lot of work, and it doesn’t have to be hard! However, it is something that the Lord wants us to take seriously and walk out intentionally.
Grab this FREE resource with 25 effective, purposeful, and intentional ideas to help you be an encouragement to those around you.
Encourage & Connect Like Barnabas
There is actually much we can learn from Barnabas in the Bible. Although Paul quickly becomes a highlighted character in much of the New Testament, Barnabas is steadily present in much of the book of Acts, playing what seemingly looks like a supporting role. Yet, there is so much to glean from the man who lives up to his name that helps us understand the capabilities that encouragement has.
Encouragement inspires others to “do”.
When he came and saw the grace of God, he was glad, and he exhorted them all to remain faithful to the Lord with steadfast purpose, for he was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and of faith. And a great many people were added to the Lord. -Acts 11:23-24 ESV
Because of the encouragement the people received through the work of the Holy Spirit, many came to the Lord. Not only that but those who had already come to the Lord were exhorted to remain faithful to their calling and in their walk.
Encouragement inspires connections that carry out God’s purposes.
So Barnabas went to Tarsus to look for Saul, and when he had found him, he brought him to Antioch. For a whole year they met with the church and taught a great many people. -Acts 11:25-26 ESV
Barnabas knew how God wanted to use Paul, and he did things in his power to provide Paul with those opportunities. Bringing Paul to Antioch allowed the Christians there to be encouraged by the Word through Paul and Barnabas for an entire year.
Encouragement inspires others to encourage.
After the reading from the Law and the Prophets, the rulers of the synagogue sent a message to them, saying, “Brothers, if you have any word of encouragement for the people, say it.” So Paul stood up, and motioning with his hand said: “Men of Israel and you who fear God, listen.” -Acts 13:15-16 ESV
The rulers of this synagogue in Antioch undoubtedly knew the work Barnabas and Paul were doing. They’d been encouraged by it, and now, in turn, they sought an opportunity to pass that encouragement along firsthand to those who were in the synagogue that day.
Encouragement inspires others to seek the Lord.
And after the meeting of the synagogue broke up, many Jews and devout converts to Judaism followed Paul and Barnabas, who, as they spoke with them, urged them to continue in the grace of God. The next Sabbath almost the whole city gathered to hear the word of the Lord. -Acts 13:43-44 ESV
One of the most important purposes of encouragement is to inspire people to seek the Lord for themselves. Barnabas and Paul didn’t want the people to follow them; they wanted them to seek the Lord and have a yearning for His ways and His Word.
Encouragement emboldens the encourager.
And Paul and Barnabas spoke out boldly… -Acts 13:46 ESV
So they remained for a long time, speaking boldly for the Lord… -Acts 14:3 ESV
That fire within, that only comes from the Lord, burns fiercely when we let Him, as the God of encouragement, lead our steps and direct our words.
For so the Lord has commanded us… -Acts 13:47
They were willing to do what the Lord called them to do, no matter the reception, response, or persecution.
But they shook off the dust from their feet against them and went to Iconium. -Acts 13:51 ESV
They could withstand persecution from the Jews who were angry at them for preaching to the Gentiles, shake it off, and move on.
Encouragement brings comfort.
When you are naturally an encouraging person, the atmosphere you create permeates those around you. You don’t have to try or work hard. The Holy Spirit is powerful and is always bearing witness to the Lord and all He is. Through Him, you will bring comfort to those in your midst (Colossians 4:7-11), and uplift them during trials.
How to Encourage One Another: 5 Ways to Uplift
Let’s face it. The Bible calls us to encourage one another, so why not ask the Lord to help us do it in a way that He desires? Here are a few biblically-based tips:
#1: Rely on the Holy Spirit (Acts 11:24).
We see Barnabas was filled with the Holy Spirit and faith. We need to recognize and remember that we are not the source; we can rely on the Source to guide us.
#2: Encourage through the Word of God (Acts 13).
People are yearning to hear the truth of the Word, sometimes they just don’t know it. Once they receive the life and refreshment the Word brings, they’ll thirst for more (Acts 13:42). There is nothing wrong with general encouragement, but biblical encouragement based in the Word is influential.
#3: Take encouragement with you everywhere you go (Acts 15:31).
Even when you’re delivering news or truths that are tough to understand and swallow, you can still leave those around you encouraged. Be mindful of your words, tone, and body language; even correction can bring the fresh air of encouragement.
#4: Be a faithful friend.
Not only did Barnabas initially defend Paul as a new believer and connect him to the Church, but he also stuck by Paul’s side, traveling with him on many missionary journeys. Travel the miles with a friend. Go through trials together, encourage others together, and encourage one another.
#5: Seek the Lord in whom you should encourage.
There are things happening in others’ lives that you may not be aware of. They may be facing hard tasks (Deuteronomy 3:28), struggling to make a decision, or wrestling with instruction from the Lord. Even if you have no idea why you are to bring encouragement to them, if the Lord tells you to, do so. Ask Him for the words to speak— if the words are from Him, they will always match up with the circumstances they’re facing.
Encouragement for you, My Sister!
May the God of encouragement, the One who sustains us, guides us, and cares for us provide eyes to see all He really is. May He allow you to see clearly the things He is doing in your life, and give you wisdom and discernment to know what to do in every moment.
You are a daughter of the Most High King, chosen, beloved, and blameless in His sight due to the blood of Christ.
You carry within you an incorruptible beauty that can’t fade away.
You have a purpose and He has given you the knowledge, skills, and talents to carry it out according to His will.
You are wonderfully made and all of your value is wrapped up in who He is, not what you do.
May you be strengthened by the Lord and His might all the days of your life.
RELATED: Find more encouragement straight from the Word in the BRIEF NOTES OF ENCOURAGEMENT series:
How to Make Decisions: 6 Simplified Tips
Before we get to the place where we’re ready to make a decision, we need to believe that the Lord has our backs no matter what. He is for us. He has…
About a month or two ago, I started to feel really guilty. That mom guilt kind of guilt. The guilt that comes when you know you’ve slacked on something as a parent.
For my husband and me, it was teaching our kids how to ride a bike.
I know, I know. Such a common, almost universal skill that many kids learn in their youngest years. How dare we slack on this and rob our kids of the enjoyment of bike riding? At this rate, I was thinking our kids would one day become adults who would never rightly understand the figure of speech, “It’s just like riding a bike!”
They’ve always had bikes. We’ve just never really worked with them enough to get past the training wheels phase. Because, well… life.
So one spring day, as I watched them ride up and down the sidewalk on their scooters, it hit me that as 7 and 9-year-olds, they’ve got no two-pedal skills. And, it really hit me. I felt so bad, and as I said, very guilty.
At that moment, I just spoke what was on my heart to the Lord, and asked Him to help us find the time to teach them how to ride a bike this summer.
Not more than two weeks later, the neighbor boy gave them his old bike upon getting a new one as a gift. His old bike was a smaller bike with no training wheels, much cooler than my daughter’s which still donned its training wheels. Immediately my kids wanted to attempt to ride it.
And guess what– in a matter of a day or two, they were cruising up and down our sidewalk on this bike. With no training wheels.
Both of my kids taught themselves how to ride a bike.
God provided a smaller bike that they could easily learn how to balance on, and that didn’t look intimidating.
God equipped them with the smarts and physical coordination to learn how to balance, pedal, and steer without crashing or falling.
And, it didn’t take all summer. It took two days.
My guilt, toil, and feeling of failure over our lack of parental guidance in this life skill were dissipated because the Lord had my back.
I cried out to Him over something I perceived as small, yet because it caused an ache in my heart, and because He is a good, loving, and caring Father– He did something about it.
He showed me (once again) just how much He truly cares about every little detail of our lives. And, He showed me that when I let Him handle those details, I’m really not that important of a piece of the equation after all.
The Pre-Decision-Making Process
If you're wondering what my bike story has to do with learning how to make decisions, the answer is: Everything.
Before we get to the place where we’re ready to make a decision, we need to believe that the Lord has our backs no matter what. He is for us. He has plans and purposes for us, and no matter what we do or don’t do (like teach our kids bike skills!), He always has plots and plans being orchestrated behind the scenes.
God is in the details.
When we seek Him first and let Him know the desires of our hearts, He will take care of it all. It may not look the way we think and it may not work out the way we hoped– but, however it does work out, we can trust Him knowing that His plans are forever good.
What does the Bible say about decision-making?
One of the main themes in all of the Bible is the topic of trust. Wouldn’t you agree? The Lord wants us to wholly trust Him in all things– in the big and the small (Proverbs 3:5-6). It begins with trusting in Jesus as the Lord and Savior of our life.
From there, if we’re truly submitted to Him, He wants us to hand our lives over to Him.
His will be done.
This is the first step in our decision-making process. It starts with our surrender, and our openness to commit our works to the Lord so that He can establish our plans (Proverbs 16:3).
Decision-making should come from a place of humility and submission before the Lord, as opposed to selfish intentions and motivations.
“ All the ways of a person are clean in his own sight, but the LORD examines the motives.”
Bible verses for making decisions
The Bible is full of so much wisdom. It literally is a handbook for how to live our lives properly on this earth. So, it’s no surprise that within Scripture we can find numerous Bible verses for making decisions that please the Lord:
The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps. (Proverbs 14:15 ESV)
One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless. (Proverbs 14:16 ESV)
The mind of a person plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps. (Proverbs 16:9 NASB)
Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed. (Proverbs 15:22 NASB)
Teach me good discernment and knowledge, for I believe in Your commandments. (Psalm 119:66 NASB)
How to know the will of God
When we’re in the process of making a decision, one of the first things we should do after committing to humbly submit to the will of God is to do our best to discern what the will of God actually is.
Figuring out how to know the will of God is not as complicated as most may think. You see, God’s Word doesn’t change. God doesn’t change. Therefore, even though circumstances may look differently for each decision you are faced with, God’s will for your life is consistent.
Generally speaking, God’s will for all of our lives is to trust Him, walk in His ways, share the good news of His love, and glorify Him in all that we do.
I know what you’re thinking– Shanna, how does that help me to know the will of God so I can decide whether or not to take this job? Or move across the country? Homeschool, public, or private school? Stay in this relationship or end it?
Again, let’s not overcomplicate it. Start with prayer. Seek God for the nitty-gritty details in the web of questions you may have.
Then, ask Him to show you the best path that will allow you to:
Grow in and show your full, undivided trust in Him.
Faithfully continue to walk in His ways, according to His Word.
Be in a position where you can grow in your faith and share His love with others.
Glorify Him in the decision you make.
This isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula, but as my husband and I have made major decisions in life, considering all of these things have helped us discern the wisest path to take.
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Grab this free, 16-page mini Bible Study of the Psalms. Bring ease and simplicity to your decision-making process by growing in your faith and trust in the Lord!
Trust God’s Plan
One of the most crucial things we can learn to master in our Christian walk is the habit of trusting God in all circumstances. The path the Lord instructs us to take may not be the decision we’d hoped for. We may have thought that a different path would make more sense.
But, the Lord can see the bigger picture. He has bigger purposes than we can fathom. And, let’s not forget that He causes all things to work together for the good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
“One who pays attention to the word will find good, and blessed is one who trusts in the Lord.”
Trusting God to lay out our plans isn’t always easy, but He promises blessings for those who do. When we seek Him, stay faithful to His Word, and commit our ways to Him, we can be sure He is not leading us into a path of darkness.
His plans do not fail.
How to Make Decisions: 6 Practical Tips
Sister, let’s keep this simple. Life and circumstances can be complicated enough. The Lord doesn’t want you drowning in a sea of frustration over the decision-making process.
When you do, this puts the decision itself in a place of being an idol in your heart. Meaning– your thoughts will become so consumed with the decision in and of itself, that you use that as a navigational starting point or compass for your life.
Yet, God should always be the focal point. He determines the outcome of your life, no matter what your decisions may be. Nothing you do can mess up His plans and purposes for your life because He is sovereign.
Here are a few practical tips to help you along your journey of making decisions:
#1: Be prepared to follow God’s will. Not your own.
Humility is key. Although the Lord has given you intelligence and the ability to make logical choices, sometimes following Him means you need to throw your own logic out the window. Ask the Lord to help you put your heart in a place that is fully surrendered to Him.
#2: Make sure your decisions line up with the will of God and His Word.
Always check your decisions against the Word. If what you think the Lord is telling you goes against Scripture, you can be sure it’s not from the Lord!
#3: Seek wise counsel.
It can be a good idea to bounce your thoughts off of a trusted, godly friend, mentor, or counselor. Be honest about the options you’re weighing, as well as what you believe the Lord is telling you. Sometimes this person may share some insight and wisdom, or give you another perspective to think about. They can also come alongside you in prayer about the decision you are facing.
#4: Be patient.
God’s timing is always perfect, even if it feels like forever to us! Be prepared to wait on Him. Waiting on God’s timing enables you to step forward at the right time, as opposed to making a rash decision.
#5: Make your decision in faith.
Act in faith, knowing that the Lord is orchestrating the plans and has your back. Even if it seems completely illogical or scary, trust that God will lead you every step of the way. He will provide for you and equip you with whatever you need. He always has your back.
#6: Cover everything in prayer.
Pray throughout your entire decision-making process. Keeping your line of communication with God open is the best thing you can do. You want to hear from Him directly about your decision, right? Well, He’d love to hear from you too.
Be Encouraged
Navigating how to make a decision isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be complicated either. There are little and big decisions; hard and painful decisions. But— God is sovereign over all. He will light our path and direct our steps as we let Him lead.
So, sister– trust that He already has plans in motion for you. He simply wants you to trust in Him more than you trust in your decisions.
Will you grip the handlebars tightly and pedal to your destination quickly with your blinders on; or, will you release your grip and let him do the steering?
You decide. ;)
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7 Spiritual Life Skills We Learn from Peter (Part 2)
Dear sister, sometimes life can distract us, right? Sometimes we get so weighed down by the amount of to-do’s we have, that we…
Dear sister, sometimes life can distract us, right? Sometimes we get so weighed down by the number of to-do’s on our list, that we lose sight of our daily disciplines. In our haste or impatience, we forget how we are to act. We forget how to respond to people. We forget where we should be focusing our time.
We lose sight of how to properly do life.
As we talked about in Part 1 of this series, the Bible is chock full of knowledge for us— about God, how to live life, and how to conduct ourselves as Christians.
But head knowledge isn’t the only thing God wants us to have. He desires for us to walk worthy of our calling, and walk in our newness of life as believers.
So, welcome to Part 2 of Spiritual Life Skills We Learn from Peter. This time we’ll dive into 2 Peter 1:5-10; but before we get to the practicality, let's look at a few promises at the beginning of the epistle.
Biblical truths in 2 Peter 1: 3-4
To understand why these practical skills are so important, and how we’re able to walk them out, allow me to first remind you of a few truths we see in these verses:
“…as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.””
First, you need knowledge of the Lord.
Obtaining knowledge of the Lord comes through reading the Word, praying, fellowship, and spending time with Him. You must experience Him yourself, just as you would in any other relationship you have.
the Knowledge of God empowers you.
Through the knowledge of the Lord, His divine power gives you all things pertaining to life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). Absolutely everything you need to know and possess to live a godly life, fully pleasing to Him, is accessible and obtainable to you.
Understand that it’s by His excellent power.
We see in verse 3 that it is not a working of you; instead, it’s by “His glory and virtue.” Because this is who God is— He called you. Hallelujah. But not only does He call you (and that would be enough!), but He also gives you exceedingly great and precious promises (2 Peter 1:4). If there is any doubt, remember that God’s Word is always true and steadfast; therefore, you can rely on His promises!
You are a partaker of His divine nature.
Through His exceedingly great and precious promises, He allows you to be a partaker of His divine nature. Through your sanctification, as He’s working in you, you have the ability to become more and more like Christ.
A Woman Living on Purpose
Here comes the practical part. This promise and privilege are where the rubber meets the road. It is here where you need to allow God to work through you so you can do life properly— on purpose, if you will.
It’s not enough to just know that He calls you a daughter and heir. How are you walking in that? Are you being a light in the world, reflecting Him? Are you a good steward of this promise?
Let’s start with our faith in God.
2 Peter 1:5-10 then tells us how we’re to live as partakers of the divine nature and heirs of the King of kings. We start with one skill or characteristic, then continue to add more to the pot.
But, the foundation of the recipe is faith.
This is our faith— our saving faith. Our faith in God as the One true God. Our faith in Christ, that through the power of His death and resurrection we have eternal life.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God…”
Our faith:
Allows us to believe the things the Lord has done, and believe Him for what He promises He will do (Matthew 17:20).
Yields trust in Him (Mark 4:40).
Impacts the world when we share it (Romans 1:8).
Our faith in Christ brings forth our righteousness (Philippians 3:9).
Our faith in God establishes us in our Christian walk. It’s what puts our feet on solid ground because our foundation is in Christ, and therefore we are in right standing with God. So then, through this establishment of faith, we can walk worthy of our calling.
The following 7 Spiritual Life Skills found in 2 Peter 1:5-10 are several of the ingredients when added and mixed with our faith, that help us to walk worthy:
#1: Be virtuous in all you do.
Our conduct should be set apart from the world’s.
What is virtue?
Virtue means “a virtuous course of thought, feeling or action; moral goodness.”
The word “virtue” in verse 5 is the same word we see in verse 3. It refers to God’s moral goodness or excellence in His power. Because we are partakers of His divine nature, His moral goodness should show up in our lives.
We can ask ourselves— Are our thoughts virtuous, right, and moral (Philippians 4:8)?
As believers, we should have overall moral goodness infused in our daily lives. If so, it will be evident in how we treat those inside and outside of our homes.
#2: Grow in your knowledge of God.
Deeper knowledge of the Father yields a deeper relationship with Him, and a heart that desires to live virtuously.
what does it mean to grow in the knowledge of God?
The word used for knowledge means, “growing in a deeper way of knowing God; moral wisdom in living.” Again, this isn’t just knowing information for the sake of knowing it— it’s knowledge that gives us a deeper understanding of and intimacy with the Father, and a knowledge that leads to wisdom.
“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. ”
When we grow in our knowledge of Him, we also gain the power to admonish each other (Romans 15:14).
Not only this, but the world is “counting on us.” As believers, we are to reveal God’s knowledge throughout the world (2 Corinthians 2:14). There are those who may never pick up a Bible, but by your actions— your knowledge on display— you reveal to them the goodness and greatness of God.
#3: Live with self-control.
How to have self-control is one of the greatest lessons we can learn, from childhood to adulthood.
How to have self-control
Self-control means we can master our desires and passions. It is one of the fruit of the Spirit, and hands down one of the hardest things to master in our Christian walk! Undoubtedly, self-control is impossible to master in our own power.
What do we need to control in our lives? Anger, outbursts of wrath, lust, evil desires? Maybe it’s pride or an obsessive need to strive in certain areas of our lives.
The Lord never calls us to be out of control, even as we follow Him. Walking in the Spirit and being sensitive to His promptings is how we can begin to exhibit self-control in our lives.
We gain self-control by yielding our lives to Him, and allowing Him to be in control.
#4: Persevere through trials— the big and small.
Keep on keeping on.
Why is perseverance important?
Perseverance is having patience, endurance, and the ability to wait. It also means we are not able to be moved even during the toughest of trials.
Romans 15:5 tells us that endurance and perseverance are given to us from the Lord.
We need endurance for our Christian walk (Hebrews 12:1) because it’s long, and difficult at times. Trials come our way, and sin tries to entangle us; yet, we cannot give up. This is when we need to wait and trust in the Lord.
In James 1:3, we see that endurance and perseverance are the end result of the testing of our faith, and when we let it have its full effect, we lack nothing.
The world is watching— they are watching to see how you hold up under pressure; under the weight of daily life. What will you do? Will you fold, or will you glorify God as you give them an example of a saint who runs the race set before her, waiting and trusting God ‘til the end?
#5: Godliness should be our apparel.
Our life’s moments should reflect Him, not ourselves.
What is godliness?
Godliness is respect and reverence toward God. This happens by way of our thoughts, actions, and interactions with others. We should be living to the glory of God.
As we already reviewed, through His power, the Lord gives us everything we need pertaining to life and godliness.
Sisters, we must pursue righteousness at every corner, putting off our old ways; fleeing from immorality, and living in the freedom we have in Christ.
“Rather, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily training is just slightly beneficial, but godliness is beneficial for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. ”
Yes, it takes discipline, self-control, and perseverance to live this way. But, I’ll say it again— by His divine power, He gives us everything we need in order to do so. Therefore, we have no excuse.
#6: Exhibit brotherly kindness.
Generously serve your sisters!
Brotherly love and loving one another
Because God has shown us how to love, we can love one another.
Romans 12:10 calls us to be devoted to one another in brotherly love. This isn’t something that we should do once in a while; no— the Lord calls us to be devoted. We have a responsibility to do good, especially to those in the household of faith (Galatians 6:10).
As we read in Part 1 of this series, the word fervent means “exhibiting or marked by great intensity of feeling.” As we also discussed therein, that passage (1 Peter 4:8) refers to agape love.
The word “love” we’re now discussing in 2 Peter is philadelphia love, or brotherly love– and is the same word we see in 2 Peter 1:22, “Since you have purified your souls in obedience to the truth for a sincere love of the brothers and sisters, fervently love one another from the heart.”
Whether it is agape love, or brotherly love, we should love one another intensely and sincerely. This should be evident not only in the things we say, but in the things we do.
#7: Exude the strongest form of love.
The last word “love” that we see in 2 Peter 1:7 is agape love.
Read: Part 1: Spiritual Life Skills We Learn from Peter
The progression of this verse is saying that we should show brotherly love and affection to one another, but within that, we should do it in agape love. A strong, genuine, “not expecting anything in return” kind of love that is shown as you love your brothers and sisters in Christ.
Love with an extra helping of love. Are you following, sister?
Why is agape love so important?
Agape love is the same type of love that God demonstrated toward us when He sent Christ to die for us (Romans 5:8).
In this love, we are not hypocritical (Romans 12:9); we are patient and kind.
We are called to do everything in agape love (1 Corinthians 16:14).
Let’s be diligent to let the love of Christ have its full effect in our lives.
Godly Characteristics for the Godly Woman
So, what is a godly woman? Sister, what it all boils down to is our relationship with the Lord. All of these spiritual life skills and godly characteristics lack their true meaning without the Lord working in us and through us to do them.
Through our knowledge of the Lord, we can have the desire to do these things– to put these spiritual life skills into practice. 2 Peter 1:8 says that if we walk out these godly characteristics, we will be fruitful in our knowledge of the Lord; yet, if we choose not to put these traits and skills into action, we will forget that we were cleansed from our old ways.
Putting these skills into action draws us closer to the Lord, allows Him to mold us to be more like Him, and keeps us from stumbling in our walk (2 Peter 1:10).
Sister, you’re a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), so walk in that newness of life! Let go of your old ways.
These godly characteristics and spiritual life skills are just a handful of the numerous traits the Lord calls us to as His daughters. Yet, this isn’t a daunting task– just let the Spirit lead you moment-by-moment, day-by-day as you walk them out one step at a time.
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4 Spiritual Life Skills We Learn from Peter
It’s not enough to just have a bunch of Bible knowledge in our heads. As Christian women witnessing to a dark world, we also need to walk out the knowledge we have. We can turn to…
I’m a practical kind of girl. If you’ve read any of my other posts, you’ll quickly see that I’m all about encouragement and a bit of exhortation, but I also love to share some practical tips as well.
That’s because it’s not enough to just have a bunch of Bible knowledge in our heads. As Christian women witnessing to a dark world, we also need to walk out the knowledge we have.
We can turn to self-help books and Ted Talks all we like, but when it comes down to it, the Bible should be our number one resource for the “How To’s” of life.
Sometimes I think we overlook the fact that the Bible is chock full of practical life skills and all the how to’s we need. As it says in 2 Peter 1:3, His power has given us “all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him.”
God Himself, through His power, gives us everything we need to live a fruitful life that is glorifying to Him.
But, it comes through the knowledge of Him— seeking Him, getting into His Word, and communicating with Him. We need to tune into the Lord.
So sisters, put your antennas up and dial into the Lord’s station. Turn to 1 Peter in the Bible. Peter, through the power of the Holy Spirit, has a few things to tell us.
This is Part 1 of a 2-part series because let’s face it— Peter was a man of action and always had a lot to say!
But thank God for that, as being one of Jesus’s closest disciples, there’s much we can learn from the first-hand knowledge and wisdom He acquired from the Lord.
Let’s jump into the 4 practical life skills we learn from Peter, focusing on 1 Peter 4:7-11.
#1: Be serious and watchful in prayer.
This life skill is also a very important spiritual discipline!
What is prayer?
Said plainly, prayer is our communication with the Almighty God. Because of Christ’s death on the cross, His blood covering our sins, and His resurrection, we can boldly approach His throne anywhere, at any time. We can speak with Him about our life, our children, our hurts, and our joys— and He always hears us.
The fact of the matter is, that things are happening in the world all around us, whether they directly affect us or not, and— Jesus is coming back. As Peter says in verse 7, “the end of all things is at hand.”
These attitudes and life skills we have should keep this truth in mind. Being serious and watchful in prayer means that we should prioritize prayer. Make it an important, daily occurrence. Pray in secret. Pray corporately. Pray with your spouse and children. We cannot be flighty about it.
“The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”
When you say you’ll pray for someone, pray for them. When you see things happening around the world, pray for the Lord’s will to be done. When you know a family member or neighbor is battling something, take it to the Lord.
We can pray, knowing that the Lord hears us and wants to hear from us. He is mighty and His hand can move according to our faith and trust in His power to do so.
#2: Have a fervent love for each other.
The word love in this verse is “agape” love.
What is agape love?
Agape love is a strong, genuine love, affection, and goodwill between people, or between us and God. It is the kind of love for which we see the long list of attributes in 1 Corinthians 13.
Fervent means “exhibiting or marked by great intensity of feeling.”
This isn’t just a superficial, “love ya” that so many of us toss around from time to time. This is a passionate, zealous, and intense form of love that we display in our words, actions, and deeds towards others.
What does this “fervent love” look like?
Go out of your way to help someone.
Do the thing, even when it is inconvenient.
Put others’ needs before your own.
Have compassion for those going through trials.
Invite someone over to share joy, or to weep with them.
Pray for them.
Give up your Netflix binge time in order to watch your friend’s children, so she can go to an appointment, or just have some quiet time.
There are so many ways we can show agape love. But, we must remember that love is an action, not a feeling. We may not always feel like being loving, but God calls us to do loving things all the time.
#3: Be hospitable, without grumbling.
Many of us don’t have trouble being hospitable. Maybe it’s not our strong suit– whether we’re not the best cook or we don’t have the best, most comfortable house– but we’re willing to show hospitality.
What is hospitality and how can we show it?
Hospitable means being generous to guests. We don’t have to have the fanciest food and dishes. We just need to have a willing heart– one that is open and always ready to meet people at their needs, whether it’s for a 25-minute coffee chat, or for a warm meal and dessert.
The problem we see in this spiritual life skill is when we start to grumble while showing hospitality. Grumbling, in the Greek means, a complaint or secret displeasure not openly avowed. This is the same word we see in Philippians 2:14, “Do all things without complaining or arguments.”
We can’t truly be hospitable unless we serve for the sake of serving, in brotherly love, and with good intentions. Be generous. Don’t complain under your breath as you serve– in doing so, you aren’t serving with the right heart attitude.
Or, possibly you’re getting flustered because you’re trying to serve them “too well.” Any good, genuine friend won’t care whether or not your floor is spotless or there is noticeable dust on your lamp. It won’t bother them that you didn’t break out the fine china dishes.
This also includes serving guests in your home but being upset that no one is helping you serve them. As we see with Martha, sometimes the Lord would rather have you sit at His feet— and in this case, go sit with your guests as you sit and fellowship at the Lord’s feet (Luke 10:38-42).
Grumbling ruins any servant's heart that we may have at the moment.
#4: Use your gifts for the benefit of others.
The way we are good stewards of the gifts that God has given us is to not bury them and let them go to waste. This life skill is so crucial in our unification in the body of Christ.
What are spiritual gifts and what are their purpose?
God has given each of his children gifts. He doesn’t want us to sit on them, or ignore them. As we read in 1 Peter 4:10, Peter instructs us to use our gifts for the benefit of and to minister to other believers.
Our brothers and sisters in Christ can be strengthened and built up when we use our gifts. This isn’t really negotiable; it’s what enables the body of Christ to be able to function as a whole (1 Corinthians 12:12). When we forsake using our gifts– whether it’s out of fear, laziness, or lack of confidence, it affects other parts of the body.
Yet, when we use our gifts and each member of the body does its share, this results in “growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love” (Ephesians 4:16).
Focusing on using our gifts for the benefit of others helps us to keep our hearts set in the right place as well– in that, we’re less likely to use our gifts for show or personal glory if we’re thinking of others first. You can learn more about the purpose of spiritual gifts, here.
If you’re not sure what your spiritual gifts are, ask the Lord to reveal them to you! He wants you to use them, not just unbeknownst to yourself, but in wisdom and intentionally. I also would encourage you to explore these verses to learn about the various spiritual gifts: 1 Corinthians 12; 1 Corinthians 14; Romans 12:3-8; Ephesians 4:7-16.
We have one goal: To glorify God.
The purpose of honing in and intentionally growing in the life skills we see in 1 Peter is not so that we can appear to be some sort of perfect Christian. It’s certainly not so that we can receive all the praise and applause.
Every believer's goal, in all that we do, is to glorify God. We must choose to live for the Lord on purpose, no matter how tired or busy we are. We can draw strength from the Lord, walk worthy of our calling, and live for Him as we serve others.
I exhort you to make every effort to:
PRAY, for your own benefit to grow in Him, and for the sake of others.
LOVE in a way that represents the hands, feet, and heart of Christ.
Show HOSPITALITY and make others feel seen, heard, noticed, and appreciated.
Use your GIFTS to serve and build up your sisters in Christ. He’s given you something to offer.
And, in all of these things, sister– when we are mindful and purposeful in doing them, we glorify Him.
“I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. ”
Sister, You Are Not Alone
A friend of mine recently told me that she has been feeling lonely lately. Despite having numerous “close” friends, people that she’s known for many years, she feels…
A friend of mine recently told me that she has been feeling lonely lately. Despite having numerous “close” friends, people that she’s known for many years— she feels isolated and alone. Her friends are lax about reaching out, even if they don’t see her for weeks at a time. If she doesn’t want to go out to see them due to the health issues she wrestles with, there isn’t a chance for true companionship, as they don’t make much of an effort to visit her when she stays in.
She feels alone. Rejected. Misunderstood.
It’s hard to figure out how to stop feeling lonely when every attempt you make for fellowship is to no avail.
Sadly, her story isn’t much different from a lot of others. Since the height of the COVID pandemic in 2020, many of us can relate to this feeling of isolation and unasked for solidarity.
And, like my friend, whether we’re introverted or not— we’re sick of it.
What is loneliness?
Loneliness is different from being alone. When we are alone, that means we are physically by ourselves, with no one else. Sometimes this is by choice.
Loneliness, however, is a state of mind. It’s the feeling of not being seen, heard, and understood. We can be lonely whether we are physically alone, or we can be lonely when we’re in a room full of hundreds of people.
No matter the personality type, or whether we’re outgoing or introverted, loneliness is a real feeling that any of us can feel, depending on the situation at hand.
What does the Bible say about loneliness?
When looking in the Bible, the word “alone” is used a lot, but many times it’s used in reference to the power of God.
O Lord of hosts, God of Israel, enthroned above the cherubim, You are the God, You alone, of all the kingdoms of the earth; You have made heaven and earth. (Isaiah 37:16 ESV)
Let them praise the name of the Lord for His name alone is exalted; His majesty is above earth and heaven. (Psalm 148:13 ESV)
The word “alone” is rarely used in reference to people.
“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. ”
David speaks of feeling lonely (Psalm 25:16), which is no surprise when we think about how much time he spent fleeing and hiding from King Saul and his army of men who sought his life.
No doubt Elijah was probably feeling lonely as he hid from evil Ahab and Jezebel in a cave. After taking out their prophets at Mount Carmel, they were fed up with Elijah and sought to kill him. Elijah spoke to the Lord, saying that he alone was the last of the prophets of the Lord (1 Kings 19:10). He feared for his life and felt he was standing alone against the world.
David and Elijah were both physically alone and lonely. And, for many of us, it’s when we are also alone and lonely that we forget one of the most important truths we should cling to.
God is With Us
We can easily become overwhelmed, depressed, and anxious when we focus more on our situation, the lack of participants in our lives, and our feelings— instead of focusing on the fact that God is with us.
I believe the reason why the Bible doesn’t use the word “alone” when referring to His people is that we truly aren’t alone. The Word constantly reminds us that the Lord is with us wherever we go (Joshua 1:9). He is beside us and goes before us. He never leaves us or forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:6).
“At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.”
As Paul so eloquently stated in 2 Timothy 4:17, the Lord stood by him and strengthened him. And, He does the same for us.
Dealing with loneliness
If you’re in the midst of loneliness now, whether you’re surrounded by loved ones, or you’re physically alone— and you’re wondering how to stop feeling lonely, just know that you are not alone (no pun intended!). There are many in your shoes, walking out the same struggle as you.
Thankfully, there is so much hope in the Lord in this area. Through prayer, His Word, and other people, He's given us tools to help us navigate these waters. But most importantly, He's given us His strength as He walks beside us.
15 Things to Do when you're lonely
If you’re wondering what to do when you’re lonely, here are 15 practical tips you can put into practice today.
#1: SEEK THE LORD.
Above all, this is the number one thing to do. When you seek Him, He reveals Himself to you in ways you cannot imagine. He wants you to know Him truly and deeply.
#2: DON’T FORSAKE YOUR DAILY QUIET TIME.
Make time to sit in His presence, no matter how you’re feeling. It’s much easier to binge-watch Netflix so you don’t feel lonely, but superficial entertainment doesn’t compare to inundating your mind and soul with the Lord’s goodness.
#3: SPEND TIME IN PRAYER.
Loneliness often stems from feeling you have no one to talk to. Why not exchange words with the One who created you? He hears you, wants you to come before Him, and will hang onto your every word.
#4: FIND REFUGE IN THE LORD.
God is your hiding place and your protector. When you seek Him, He gives you all you need to grow in your faith and trust in Him more. In the vulnerability that loneliness brings, rest assured that you can find safety in Him.
#5: LINK ARMS WITH 1-2 OTHER PEOPLE.
There’s so much power in a godly friend. All it takes is for 1 or 2 sisters to make an effort to reach out to you on a regular basis— to say hi, offer encouragement, or see how you’re doing— to make you feel less isolated.
If you don’t have someone who does this for you, I’d encourage you to ask. It may seem awkward to request this of someone, especially if you aren’t particularly close, but in this process, the Lord will use her to uplift you, and He’ll cultivate a close relationship between you two. It’s a win-win.
#6: DON’T FORSAKE FELLOWSHIP WITH OTHER BELIEVERS.
The Lord doesn’t want us to live in isolation— that’s where our idle thoughts can take us to dark places, and fear and anxiety can grow. Go to church, join a small group, and make an effort to get out and about.
#7: GUARD YOUR HEART AND MIND.
Be mindful of what you’re allowing into your sense gates. God calls us to guard our hearts and our minds (Proverbs 4:23; John 14:27). There are many influences that surround you, but they need to be filtered out. The world will distract you from remembering God’s truth and His promises for you.
#8: SPEND TIME STUDYING THE PSALMS.
The Psalms is a great place to go when you are feeling lonely. David and the other psalmists share raw thoughts, feelings, and emotions as they deal with deep sadness, isolation, and fear. Yet, hope is always right around the corner.
#9: REMEMBER THE LORD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU.
We know this, but we often forget. Ask Him to help you feel His presence. Take time to study Bible verses about God being with us: Deuteronomy 31:6; Isaiah 41:10; Psalm 23:4; Psalm 139:7-10; Joshua 1:9; 1 John 4:16; Psalm 16:11
“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”
#10: DON’T SEEK FALSE INTIMACY WITH SOCIAL MEDIA.
Drowning in other people’s lives may make you feel less lonely, but this is false intimacy. Eventually, seeing so many happy faces on your social feeds will let thoughts creep in that whisper things like you are the only one who is alone and feeling this way. Everyone else is having fun except you. You are missing out.
If you struggle with these types of thoughts, I suggest avoiding social media until you’ve established deeper friendships off-screen.
#11: INVITE SOMEONE OVER.
It may have to be you who takes the first step. Don’t wait for someone to offer to visit you. Be daring– you invite. You ask. You host. Even if it feels overwhelming at first, you’ll be so glad for the company.
#12: GO TO “THAT THING” EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT.
It can be hard to go to an event where we believe we’ll feel anxious or even more lonely. However, I find that when I go places I don’t initially feel like going to, I leave feeling refreshed and renewed. Sometimes it’s because I met someone new or had an interesting conversation. Other times, it’s because I’m simply proud of myself for doing something that was a little difficult to do!
#13: BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH.
Vulnerability is key. It’s not easy. It’s uncomfortable, for sure. But, you know what? Vulnerability connects people. It allows others to see into the depths of your soul, see your hurt, and feel your pain. It allows the other person to relate and empathize with you, and when that happens you’ll no longer feel so lonely.
#14: ACCEPT HELP.
Don’t think that you can do everything on your own, including combat your loneliness. Let others in. There are people in your life who would love to help you if you’d only ask. And, if they offer– don’t turn them away! Helping you will likely bring them joy, and who knows– maybe they’re feeling lonely too.
#15: JOURNAL.
Journaling is a great way to get all of the thoughts swirling around in your head onto paper. It’s freeing to get them out, especially if you're dealing with anxious thoughts. Write your prayers to the Lord and ask Him to meet you where you are. He will.
Or, list the things you’re grateful for having and the people you’re grateful for knowing. Look back at the end of each day and write down things you’re glad the Lord has given you, or the situations He’s put you in.
“You make known to me the path of life, in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
The Lord is bigger than your loneliness
When dealing with loneliness, please remember that the Lord is bigger than what you’re feeling. He’s strong enough to handle it and take care of it for you. Let Him in. He wants you to feel His presence and lean on Him during this time. Trust that His plans and purposes for you are good.
But, you have to want it, sister. You have to want to not be lonely anymore. Don’t wallow in it. Be purposeful about what you’re letting influence your thoughts and feelings, especially when you’re alone. Time by yourself is good, but be aware of how much time you’re allowing yourself to be alone.
And, when that loneliness begins to creep in again, remind yourself that God is with you. He will never leave you or forsake you.
7 Things Every Christian Woman Should Wear
I love when the seasons change. There’s something exciting about the anticipation of a “newness” of sorts on the horizon– the change in weather, the amount of sunlight, and the difference…
I love when the seasons change. There’s something exciting about the anticipation of a “newness” of sorts on the horizon– the change in weather, the amount of sunlight, and the difference in the feeling of the ground underneath my feet. I enjoy the soft crunch of grass between my bare toes in the summer. And, even though winter is my least favorite season, I still appreciate a few changes that time of year brings.
With the change of weather comes the change of wardrobe. Switching out the clothes in my closet or drawers isn’t my favorite thing to do, but I do enjoy going from the heavyweight materials and toned-down colors of winter to the bright and airy fabrics of spring and summertime.
Change can be good. Especially when it’s God-ordained.
In Christ, we are changed. Upon accepting Him as our Savior, we become a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). And, just like our seasonal wardrobes, there are things we need to take off and put on. Why?
Because the character of a Christian is important to God. We can’t truly live life purposely, to the glory of God if we are still walking in our old ways.
Seasons Change
Whether you’re a new Christian, or you’ve been a believer for years, the Lord calls you to walk in His ways. Typically, our ways are not His ways, right? Some things need to change in our lives so that we can live in a way that brings glory to Him.
Not putting off these old ways of ours is much like continuing to wear our winter coats in the summertime. It doesn’t take long to begin to feel weighed down, inappropriate, and completely out of sorts. Continuing in our old habits and old “dress” even though our season has changed holds us back.
What Not to Wear
But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him. (Colossians 3:8-11 NKJV)
Since we died with Christ and are raised in newness of life with Him, we are to put to death what is evil and earthly within us: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, covetousness, and idolatry (Colossians 3:5).
Put to death. Those are strong words! The behaviors God calls us to cast aside in our walk with Him are to be just that– cast aside and put to death through the power of the Holy Spirit within us (Romans 8:13) and never picked up again.
Along with the traits we’re to put to death, verses 8-11 call us to put off several other things:
#1: Put off ANGER:
While it may be ok for things to anger you, such as grieving over sin, acting out in our anger is never a good thing (Ephesians 4:26). Anger should never rule our thoughts, actions, or permeate our relationships.
#2: Put off WRATH:
Wrath and anger go hand in hand at times in the Bible (Genesis 49:7; Proverbs 15:1; Deuteronomy 29:28), because extreme anger leads to wrath. However, no matter the injustice, wrath is something that should be left unto God and God alone (Romans 12:19).
#3: Put off MALICE:
Merriam-Webster defines malice as a desire to cause pain, injury, or distress to another. What are our intentions in our relationships with others, especially when they’ve wronged us? In our flesh, our natural inclination can be to desire pain for others when we’re upset with them– especially via our words.
#4: Put off BLASPHEMY:
As a believer– a child of God for whom Christ died– insulting the Lord, or any acts of irreverence towards Him is wrong. We need to set a good example and be good witnesses in our words and conduct.
#5: Put off FILTHY LANGUAGE:
What we speak is important. Our words should be uplifting, edifying, and leave others with grace (Ephesians 4:29). What types of words are we using? One minute are we praising the Lord, and in the next breath, mumbling a swear word? If we have issues with foul language, filthy jokes, or unwholesome talk of any sort, we can pray and ask the Lord to help us control our tongues.
#6: Put off LIES:
The Lord is truth (John 14:6), therefore we cannot live in a way that is congruent to His character if we are deceptive and speaking lies. Pursuing a righteous life means that we want to exhibit His qualities, and lying is not something that the Lord ever does. Those who lie do not escape (Proverbs 19:5).
Keeping these terrible traits cast off (yes, it is a continual process of obedience!) is much easier to do when we keep our eyes focused on the Lord.
What to wear
What does the Bible say about Christian character? Colossians 3:10 states that once we’re in Christ, we have “put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him.”
If we are truly pursuing the Lord and His righteousness, then as we seek Him, we will be renewed in our knowledge of Him and all that He is, we’ll desire for the Holy Spirit to work in us and change us, and our character will become more like the image of Him who created us.
As we’ve seen, Colossians 3 begins by giving us a list of things we are to cast off once we become believers. Verse 12 starts with “therefore,” indicating that given what God has done through Christ, and since we are “the elect of God, holy and beloved” these are the attitudes and behaviors God expects in response from believers, in terms of our relationships with others.
So, sister– it’s a new season. What shall we wear?
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. (Colossians 3:12-14 NJKV)
#1: TENDER MERCIES:
We should have a heart of compassion, just as the Lord does with us. Read more about living with Biblical compassion.
#2: KINDNESS:
Kindness is goodness towards others that involves your whole being and mellows any harshness within you. So, it’s not just being kind to someone—it’s that your BEING is kind. Are you clothed in kindness? Find out here.
#3: HUMILITY:
This is the opposite of self-love. You don’t think less of yourself. You think of yourself, less. And when we are humble before the Lord, He will lift us up (James 4:10). Your Biblical guide to humility, right here.
#4: MEEKNESS/GENTLENESS:
This is when we have a willingness to suffer injury or insult rather than be the one to inflict those insults on others. In today’s world, a meek and gentle spirit is often mistaken for weakness. Yet, the Word tells us that the meek are blessed and will inherit the earth (Matthew 5:5; Psalm 37:11).
#5: LONGSUFFERING/PATIENCE:
Patience is the opposite of quick anger and revenge. You don’t hang onto resentment. You patiently endure as Christ did, and continues to do with us. We are called to be patient with others, patient with the Lord as we wait on Him, and let patience have its perfect work within us (James 1:4).
#6: BEAR ONE ANOTHER AND FORGIVE:
Christ forgave us, so what makes us think that we shouldn’t forgive our fellow brothers and sisters? Being unwilling to forgive or even bear with others in love is evidence of pride in our lives. Things won’t always be fun and copasetic in relationships– yet, we are called to work things out and bear with others in those difficult things. This is what mature believers do.
#7: LOVE:
He calls this the “bond of perfection,” or NASB says, “the perfect bond of unity.” All the other virtues listed above, are distorted if done without love.
It’s not about fashion– it’s faith. It’s not about outward appearance– it’s our inner being. The Lord is concerned with our character. So what’s next?
“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved...”
Don’t forget your essential accessories
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. (Colossians 3:15-17)
Any well-put-together outfit strategically uses accessories to pull it all together. According to www.shopyourwardrobe.com, “Accessories provide interest to your outfit. Without them, you run the risk of getting bored with your wardrobe, and your outfits looking boring, because they’re always the same. Accessories extend the life of your clothes and familiar ensembles.”
But wait– I just said this isn’t about fashion, so what am I talking about?
Colossians 3:15-17 runs through several more, very powerful parts of our character that we should be mindful to put on— or rather, that we should allow to rule our inner beings.
These things are nothing short of gifts from the Lord, and when we purpose to not lose sight of them and intentionally make them a part of our faith walk, they heighten the intensity of the character of our new person.
Just as the right accessories heighten the look and appearance of the perfect outfit. Dare I say the accessories are the most important factor.
Without these much-needed godly accessories, our character falls flat and at best comes across as worldly and fleshly.
the accessories that make our wardrobe purposeful
He gives us the PEACE OF GOD, which is an attitude of true rest and security, only experienced by those in Christ. The Lord is peace, He offers us peace, and He wants His peace to rule in our hearts.
He desires that the WORD OF CHRIST would dwell in us richly. God’s Word should live in us, permeate our being, and control every thought, word, and deed– in all wisdom.
This produces an UPLIFTING and WORSHIPFUL HEART that encourages others, worships with others, and sings praises to the Lord.
And, when His peace rules our hearts and His Word dwells richly within us, we’ll be prompted to DO ALL IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS. We’ll act consistently with Who He is and what He wants, with a thankful heart.
How can we have the character of a Christian?
I know, I know– living in a way that pleases God and exhibiting all of these character traits is easier said than done. It’s impossible to live this way in every moment, day-to-day, in our own strength. We need the Holy Spirit working within us, guiding us and leading us in our decision-making and conduct.
And, the Lord provides help. I think there is an important hint for us at the beginning of Colossians 3. If we are constantly looking around the world for our example of how to live with integrity and how to have a godly character, we won’t find it.
Instead, we are to seek and set our mind on things above, not on things of the earth (Colossians 3:1-2).
When we keep our eyes on Jesus, we see the example of One who perfectly walked out all of these attributes we are to put on.
Are you ready for the change?
So, sister– join me this season, will you? This season calls for our best dress. Our best submission to His will for our lives. Our best desire to abide in Him. Our best heart of praise for Him. Our winter coats have no place in the summer with the Son. Toss out the old rags. Let’s put on only what He desires of us.
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How To Stop Feeling Guilty About Your Mistakes: 8 Powerful Tips
Guilt is heavy. It wears you down, tires you out, and makes you feel like the worst (mom, co-worker, leader, friend) ever. And you should feel like this, right? Maybe. In order to shed this self-imposed guilt, you don’t need to look at the situation from a different perspective…
As a mom, there are seven words I never want to hear at the start of a sentence:
“Does anyone know whose child this is?”
Unfortunately, these words reached my ears before. When I heard them, I turned in the direction of the adult voice asking the question, hoping to see a kind woman sitting with someone else’s child, comforting someone else’s child, and with a helpful hand upon the shoulder of someone else’s child. Except, it was not someone else’s child…it was my child.
How did this happen? I didn’t even hear her crying. I’d know her voice and cry anywhere. In a crowd full of noisy children, if she yelled “Mommy!” I’d know it was her with my eyes closed and earplugs in, right? Not that day. Let me set the scene for you.
It was summertime, several years ago. My family and I were at a park, meeting a few friends and their kids for a playdate. Some of us hadn’t seen each other in a couple of years, so it was a time we were all looking forward to. Everyone was excited.
As soon as we arrived at the park, my kids hopped out of the car, raced to the playground, and began climbing, sliding, and having a blast. I was standing in the playground area where I could see them, and where I could watch for our other friends as they arrived. A few minutes passed. It was the moment I turned my back to hug the last set of friends who arrived. We began to chat, and it was then that I heard the words…
“Does anyone know whose child this is?”
I turned. She was crying. No, not crying. Bawling her eyes out. My daughter. MY DAUGHTER. I was just watching her, and she was fine. How did this happen? The kind woman helping her probably thought I was a neglectful parent.
My daughter, five years old at the time, sat on the ground holding her chin, which was bleeding profusely. She was crying so hard that she was gasping for breath and couldn’t make out any words. Ok, no big deal, I thought. I’m trained in first aid, so no need to panic. I know what to do. But the gash in her chin was too deep and it wouldn’t stop bleeding, so, leaving my husband, son, and our friends at the park, our joyful, fun-filled gathering turned into a trip to the local urgent care center.
En route to the center, my daughter finally stopped crying and calmed down enough to talk. I asked her what happened. She was climbing one of the miniature “rock climbing” walls that decorate the sides of most playground equipment these days. She got to the very top and was so proud of herself... until she realized she couldn’t get back down. She yelled for one of her bigger and older friends to help, but no one heard her.
Then she spoke another set of words that I, as a mom, never wanted to hear—
“I was crying and kept calling for you mommy, but you didn’t come.”
Until then, I was calm and level-headed, but at that moment all I could do was cry my eyes out and tell her how sorry I was. I was glad that one of my friends had actually come along for the ride to help and to offer mother-to-mother moral support. I sure needed it right then because those words stung. I never wanted my daughter to believe that I wouldn’t come for her, or that I wouldn’t be there for her when she needed me the most.
Enter guilt, center stage.
Guilt is heavy. I mean, really, really heavy. It wears you down, tires you out, and makes you feel like the worst (mom, co-worker, leader, friend) ever. And you should feel like this, right?
Right—only if it is true and well-deserved guilt. You know, like the kind of guilt you have when you’ve actually, purposely done something of which you should be guilty. You lied. You cheated. You stole. You flew off the handle just because you were having a bad day, and took out all of your frustration on the poor, innocent soul who was listening, unfairly tearing him down. You ruined a relationship. Your actions broke trust…that kind of guilt. With this guilt, you more than likely sinned in some way and therefore you need to repent. These are the things that need to be confessed before the Lord.
In other words, this guilt is useful if it leads you to repentance.
Self-Imposed Guilt
But what about the self-imposed guilt that comes when you make an honest mistake, a miscalculation, or when something just doesn’t go the way you planned and somehow it’s “all your fault”?
That seems to be the time when you blame yourself for your shortcomings and put yourself down the most. You treat yourself poorly, condemn yourself, and dig up thoughts and feelings of hopelessness. Don’t get me wrong— I am all about personal responsibility, but sometimes I can take the self-blame game too far. I heap heavy piles of guilt on my shoulders and expect to walk around for the rest of the day (or week) handling my business like nothing is weighing me down. I put on my smile, talk sweetly to my husband and kids, and answer all of my texts with a bunch of exclamation points and emojis. Can you relate?
Who am I fooling? Who are you fooling?
No one, you think. I’m not fooling anyone. Everyone can see I’m guilty. All the fingers are pointing at me.
Nope. Only your own finger is pointing at you.
The Guilt Experience
I like the way Wikipedia defines guilt as an experience: “a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person believes or realizes—accurately or not—that he or she has compromised his or her own standards of conduct or has violated a universal moral standard and bears significant responsibility for that violation.”
Did you get that part? Accurately or not. News flash-- what you think is not always accurate. What you believe about yourself is definitely not always accurate.
In order to shed this self-imposed guilt, you don’t need to look at the situation from a different perspective—you need to look at yourself from a different perspective.
8 Practical Tips To Help You Eliminate Guilt
#1: Pray.
As a daughter of the King, you have the invitation and access to approach His throne and lay out your wants, desires, and struggles before Him. When you’re going through a tough time— physically, emotionally, or mentally— and you’ve skipped right over praying about it, all you’ve done is hopped in the car and started circling the block over and over…and over. You don’t have the power to change your perspective on your own. You need the help of the God who created you to show you who you are, the true intentions of your heart, and the way He sees you. I’d encourage you to ask Him specifically to show you these things. What He reveals to you may drastically change whether or not you believe the guilt you’re feeling is warranted.
#2: Stop.
Just stop. Stop the self-pity. Stop the anger. Stop replaying the situation in your head like it’s your favorite scene from a movie. Stop wishing you could go back in time and change what you did. Physically stop for a second, sit down, and relax. Stop immediately blaming yourself and putting yourself down. If you messed up, own it, seek forgiveness, then move on. It’s counterproductive to continue beating yourself down. This is false guilt. If you struggle with this, go back to Tip #1: Pray. Wash, rinse, repeat. I’ll say it again. Pray. Ask the Lord how He sees you so He can help you change your perspective. Psalm 139:17-18 says,
“How precious also are Your thoughts for me, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the sand.”
The Lord thinks good thoughts about those who are His. He sees you as flawless and righteous due to the blood of Jesus. Yes, even when you mess up. Even when you forget to pray. Even when you aren’t watching your children closely enough. Would the negative thoughts in your own head outweigh the good thoughts the Lord has of you? So many of us act like they do, otherwise, we wouldn’t beat ourselves up so much. This is nothing but pride. Practice seeing yourself as the Lord sees you.
#3: Start.
When you begin to see yourself as the Lord does, He’ll show you the areas within you that He wants to work on and grow. Talk to a confidant— someone who will listen to you, pray with you, and be honest with you. Maybe you did something wrong. Perhaps, you do in fact need to apologize to someone or explain the situation from your point of view to help that person understand why you did what you did. Go and do that. Again, if you are guilty of a sin, confess it to the Lord and repent. Truly repent, which means to turn away from it. Lean on the Holy Spirit and rely on Him to direct your steps.
#4: Read Romans chapter 8.
Just read it. I’m not going to tell you what it says. Grab your Bible, go read it, and be encouraged. In Him, there is no condemnation and no separation. No matter what.
#5: Reverse.
Do you know the “Reverse” card in the game UNO? When you lay it down, it reverses the order of play among the players. Once in a while, we need to lay down a “reverse.” If you worked late and missed spending time with your kids, take a day off or plan a special family time for the weekend. If you were late to a meeting, next time, make a point to be super early. It may be the simplest gesture or act, but sometimes that’s all we need to feel we’ve mentally “gotten back” at the self-imposed guilt we’re feeling.
But, let me be clear: doing something “opposite” of what you’re feeling guilty about doesn’t somehow make you worthy before the Lord.
He is not sitting around waiting for you to redeem yourself and atone for your own sins. You’re already forgiven by Him, through Christ. What I mean by playing a “reverse” is that sometimes it just mentally helps you forget about the mistake you made when you do the opposite, because it reminds you that you are not your mistake.
Three hours and three stitches later, my daughter was as good as new. She was happy, completely trusting in me as her mama (even though the negative voice in my head was telling me I’d “failed her”), and asked if she could play on the playground when we got back to the park. And yes, she did play-- with no fear, no regrets, and no holding back.
Instead of letting her play, I could have told her we were done for the day in an effort to try to protect her from being hurt again, but that would have been about my guilt and insecurities, not hers. So, she played, and I watched her (albeit, like a hawk), and her enjoyment and satisfaction of a “park well played” allowed me to leave with a little less guilt on my shoulders at the end of the day. This was my “reverse”.
#6: Believe that there are no coincidences.
Everything you do, every mistake you make, and every amazing thing you do can be used by the Lord in His perfect plan for your life.
“For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for prosperity and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
We truly were created on purpose (no mistakes), for a purpose (even if you don’t know it yet, it’s there), and with a specific purpose (your life has meaning). So “that thing” you feel guilty about—well, it happened for a reason. Sure, maybe it wasn’t something the Lord would have wanted you to do. Maybe you were disobedient. Or maybe it really was just an honest, sincere mistake. Either way, did you learn from it, become humbled by it, and grow through it? Will you remember that lesson when you need to in the future?
Sometimes it’s not about the rock climbing wall or the mother’s back that was turned. It may not even be about YOU. Ever think of that? Just because you were the self-proclaimed star of the show doesn’t mean it was your name that was in lights. Just know that you don’t have to be defined by a single event in your life if you don’t want to be. The Lord can redeem anything if you give it to Him and allow Him to.
#7: Pray again.
Broken records, reruns, instant replays...your mind works like this. You’ve got to hand this over to the Lord. Continue earnestly in prayer over the thoughts you’re struggling with. Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5) and allow Him to handle it. The Lord knows your thoughts and your heart, but He still wants you to speak to Him about it all.
#8: Know where you stand.
Remember there is a difference between your self-imposed, made-up guilt, and actually being guilty. Romans 3:23 says,
“...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”.
We all sin. We fall short. We all are literally guilty. But you, daughter of the King, have Jesus who stepped in and took the blame for your sins. He bore your guilt and shame. In Him, you are seen as righteous before the Father.
It’s important to remember, in humility, what Christ’s death has done for you so you never forget why you need a Savior. However, be sure you don’t let the devil convict you of and condemn you for your sins. He loves to make sure you never forget them. Heaping all of that self-imposed guilt onto your head puts you in a mental state that leaves the door open for his schemes. But, Jesus loves to remind you that you are forgiven, and through His death on the cross, the Lord has already forgotten all the wrongs you, for whatever reason, try so hard to remember.
Be A Woman After God’s Own Heart
We can end by joining David in his praise to the Lord for His mercies. This same David, who, despite the many mistakes he made throughout his life of which he was guilty, truly guilty— the Lord still called a man after God’s own heart.
Bless the Lord, my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the Lord, my soul,
And do not forget any of His benefits;
Who pardons all your guilt,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with favor and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
The Lord performs righteous deeds
And judgments for all who are oppressed.
He made known His ways to Moses,
His deeds to the sons of Israel.
The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
Slow to anger and abounding in mercy.
He will not always contend with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor rewarded us according to our guilty deeds.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him.
As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our wrongdoings from us.
Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
For He Himself knows our form;
He is mindful that we are nothing but dust. (Psalm 103:1-14)
Are you a woman after God’s own heart? I know you purpose to be. Seek Him in the midst of your guilt and allow Him to work in you.
8 Things You Should Tell the Single Christian Women in Your Life
Is it possible to enjoy life as a single woman? The Lord prompted my heart to share some thoughts, answering these questions: if I could go back and talk to my single self in the past, how would I encourage myself? What do I wish…
I am not single. Let’s just get that out there right at the beginning. I’ve been married to my husband since 2008, and even prior to that, we dated for over 7 years before getting married. Needless to say, it’s been a LONG time since I’ve thought of myself as “single”. So, why am I writing an article from the perspective of singleness? In fact, my single friends may be wondering, “What does she even know, or remember?”
The Lord prompted my heart to share some thoughts, answering these questions: if I could go back and talk to my single self in the past, how would I encourage myself? What do I wish I’d known back then that would have a powerful impact during my single life?
I don’t want to pretend that I know what it’s like to be single or dating in our current times, but I do know this--
God’s Word is timeless and unchanging, and what He’d encourage us to do through His Word is the same now as it was back then.
Hey there, single Christian woman.
Raise your hand if you see posts, photos, and selfies everyday of your friends and family members’ birth announcements, weddings, boyfriends, ________ (fill in the blank). These images are never-ending and easily become ingrained in your head, so much so that you can begin to covet the lives of those you love because you long to have certain elements of their life.
You love them and you’re excited for them, but when will it happen for you? When will that special someone you’ve been waiting for show up at your doorstep? When will you be swept off of your feet as he gets down on one knee and delivers the perfect proposal?
Well, single Christian friend— here are a few things you should know.
#1: You can find contentment in singleness.
The more you see the so-called perfect lives of others, the less you become content with your own. But, this is not what God has called you to. Paul states that he learned to be content in whatever state he was in (Philippians 4:11). This is hard to do on your own.
But if you keep reading, just two verses down in Philippians 4:13, Paul explains how he can be content no matter the situation.
““I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” ”
It’s Christ’s strength that makes your contentment possible because He is your Contentment.
You should look to Him and no other person or life situation. When you’ve seen one too many “happy couple” IG posts, remember that it’s to Him you should be looking instead. Once your focus is in the right place, you can find joy in your single life.
#2: Focus on God’s grace.
As a single Christian woman, use this time in your life as a single to run hard after the Lord. Submit to Him and thank Him for whatever life stage you’re in. 1 Peter 1:13-15 says,
“Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior.”
This verse tells you to make ready your mind; reject the hindrances of the world and focus instead on God’s grace. Be sober (minded)—this means not intoxicated or under the influence of the various pleasures or eye candy of the world (i.e., that social media stuff we just talked about!).
Then, you will have a mental clarity and moral decisiveness based on the Word, not your circumstances.
#3: Use this time to pursue the Lord in prayer.
We see so many times in scripture where Jesus spent time alone in prayer. (Jesus was single too, by the way.)
Colossians 4:2 says, “Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it, with thanksgiving.” Continue earnestly-- in Greek this means to be courageously persistent, to hold fast, and not let go. Are your prayers earnest and persistent, believing God for what you know He can do? Vigilant means to stay alert for specific needs and not be unfocused.
You are to bring EVERYTHING before Him in prayer. Filter every decision through the Holy Spirit. You shouldn’t be living a life of #NoFilter. Fully walk in His ways and according to His promptings. If you struggle to hear Him, then start by praying for a better listening ear to hear the Spirit in your day-to-day walk.
Come to Him in prayer with a humble heart, confessing your sins. Don’t hide. Ask that He would give you a heart that does not self-seek, but exists to glorify Him alone.
Prayer will draw you closer to Him. Sometimes women don’t like to be single because it’s lonely or they simply feel like they are alone.
Use this time in your life to get to know the God who created the Universe. You have no one greater to be all wrapped up in. As you spend time with Him and become more aware of His presence, you’ll truly know that you are never alone.
#4: Spend time worshipping Him.
The more you worship the Lord, the more you see He is great, faithful, loving, and all-powerful. Dwell in the book of Psalms and bask in the goodness of the Lord.
Who gave you your beauty? The Lord. Why do we as women yearn so much for others in this world to notice our beauty? We take pictures, post selfies, and wait for the likes to roll in. Women have the tendency to look for acceptance in all the wrong places.
But Psalm 45:11 says, “So the King will greatly desire your beauty. Because He is your Lord, worship Him.” This doesn’t just mean your physical beauty, but He sees and knows your most inward parts/your heart, and still calls you beautiful.
Dwelling on His faithfulness helps put your heart in the right place to want to be faithful to His Word.
#5: Don’t be afraid to ask.
Jesus invites you to ask of Him the things we want. You can bring any need or want to Him-- not just the big life decisions, which is what we have a tendency to do. Check out Matthew 7:7-11:
““Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!””
Have you ever asked Jesus what you should have for lunch? I’m not trying to be funny. Really, have you? Or do you, like many of us, go about your day making the bulk of your own decisions because you think there’s no way He could possibly be interested in hearing about the “little things” you have to decide all day?
Maybe you think, He doesn’t have time for that.
I think we Christian women should practice remembering that our God is bigger than that. He may not answer your requests in the way that you think or want, but He wants you to come to Him with everything. This is total reliance on Him.
#6: Seek the Lord.
But, ultimately and firstly, He wants you to seek HIM. And, when you do seek Him (genuinely and wholeheartedly), He promises you that you will find Him (Deuteronomy 4:29).
The Lord wants to be found. He isn’t hiding. He wants you to seek Him passionately, with your heart, and with all you have— with your soul. When you do this, you will find Him.
Maybe you have a love interest here on this earth, and you know his favorite color, what kind of car he drives, his favorite coffee shop, things that excite him in life—but do you know those things about God? Not literally those things, of course, but do you truly and deeply know who God is, at His core?
Or, have you been so focused on others, even just focused on what God can/could/should do for you, that you’re missing the most important facet of your relationship with Him?
Seek to know who He is deeper than just a surface level. You’re fully known to Him, and He wants you to know Him too.
#7: Be prepared to wait on the Lord.
That “ W” word. Yup, life is like that. Sometimes we have to wait.
“Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4).
If you’ve prayed and you have a desire to be married someday, there’s a good chance it was the Lord who put that desire in your heart. Now, you just have to wait for His timing.
And, while waiting, delight yourself in Him, as the verse says. Waiting can be hard. However, instead of focusing on whatever you’re waiting for, it’s crucial that during this time you’re focused on Him, His goodness, faithfulness, and the fact that He holds true to His promises. His word never returns void (Isaiah 55:11).
#8: God is working behind the scenes in your life, sister.
Remember sister, you were created on purpose. You are not defined as being a “single Christian woman.” He has a purpose and a plan for your life. He’s working behind the scenes in ways you cannot see, and He’s working right in front of your eyes.
Don’t miss it. Don’t miss the forest for the trees. Don’t be so focused on what you don’t have or what you’re waiting for that you miss all the goodness of who the Lover of your soul truly is.
He is the One who loved you first. Before time began. Before your parents. Before the man He’ll bless you with someday. Bask in His radiance and His glory. Be so caught up in thinking about Him that no other “hims” fill your mind.
Oh, and by the way, let me know how it feels to be a bride.
No, not in the future. Now. In Him, you’re already His bride. You are His. Don’t forget that.
It’s easy to hide, isn’t it? But, is that what we’re called to in our Christian walk? Absolutely not! We are the light of the world, and in order to be a city set on a hill, we must…