Guest Post by: Gift Ekiuwa
We’ve all heard the advice, "Just pray”.
It’s the standard Christian answer for everything from a difficult marriage to unpaid bills. Then there is the weight of Scripture, the command to "pray without ceasing." For many of us, especially women carrying the multifaceted load of work, ministry, marriage, and motherhood, that command can feel less like an invitation and more like an impossible standard.
Lately, I’ve heard more women than ever whisper the same confession: I just can’t pray. If that is where you are today, please, stay with me and read until the end.
I want us to get honest about why this happens. This resistance usually comes from two places. To begin with, sometimes, this block is a form of spiritual warfare. But just as often, it’s not a demon; it’s just you. It’s your humanity. And God is not intimidated by either one. If you sat last night or even told yourself you were gonna pray more and harder this month but it’s not looking like it yet. Or you opened your mouth to pray, and nothing came out, catching yourself dozing. Please know this: you are not backsliding, and you are not a bad Christian. You are just human.
The "I can’t pray" struggle is a very heavy and silent burden. And the truth is you’re not the only one. I have been there more times than I can count, staring and just wondering what happened to my fire.
When you are balancing kids, a career, and ministry, the mental load is real. Yes I know. And when you hear how others are talking about this particular topic, or when someone tells you to be a prayerful woman– your heart might whisper back, “I want to, but I don’t even know how anymore. How do I get back there? What do I do?”
Let’s read Psalm 42:1-2. David writes, "As the deer pants for the water, so my soul pants for you." David was deeply thirsty for God, true, but he was also profoundly honest about his dryness. That’s some of us sometimes. God isn’t scared of your dryness, sis. He met David in the wilderness, and He will meet you there, too.
What is Prayer?
We have bought into a low-key, dangerous lie, that prayer must be a long, arranged, or undisturbed experience to count. We treat it like a luxury that’s reserved for those with quiet houses and empty schedules, rather than the very oxygen required to survive the chaos of adulthood. When we stop praying because life has become too much, we are actually cutting ourselves off from the only Source that can make the "too much" manageable.
Now, many of us measure the success of our prayer life by the clock. We think if we aren't spending an hour in a secret place, we are failing. But God is not looking for showmanship; He is looking for a presence. Because prayer isn't about the length of your speech; it is about the depth of your dependence. Just allow yourself to ease into it. The thing most people forget is that once you become consistent and allow the Holy Spirit to hold you, it won't feel like something you have to force yourself to do. You will begin to enjoy His presence; you will desire to remain in that space. Before you know it, two, three, or even seven hours will pass, and you’re still there. You become consistent.
We should never forget that prayer is not just you pouring out; it is you sitting in His presence to be refilled. When we have no words, a sigh or a moment of stillness is also a prayer of surrender that He (God) hears perfectly. That’s the reason why, when you kneel to pray, don’t rush. Sit and let Him father your soul. Begin with worship and thanksgiving. Prayer requires order; it is not something you rush through on your way to the next task.
Hindrances to Prayer
As Paul describes in Romans 8, our human nature is wired for comfort. So the moment you decide to pray, your flesh will remind you of the unwashed dishes, the urgent email, or the need for sleep. The flesh doesn’t want to be inconvenienced by the Spirit. This is why the disciples fell asleep in Gethsemane; they were human, tired, and under spiritual pressure. You aren't bad for feeling resistance. But recognize also, that this resistance is a sign that what you are about to do is exactly what the enemy does not want you to do.
Like we saw earlier, the inability to pray is a spiritual battle. When the enemy sees you in a season of transition, becoming a mother, advancing in your career, taking on more responsibility, he knows your influence is growing. And he knows a woman who prays is a force that can dismantle his plans. Woman. A praying mother changes atmospheres, a praying single lady hears God clearly, a praying wife breaks cycles. So the moment you say “I want to pray”, the distraction, shame, and heaviness show up to stop you. The blockade you feel is often spiritual warfare disguised as life. Do not submit to the silence.
When you feel most blocked, you are standing on the precipice of a breakthrough. The enemy thrives in your isolation; he loses his power the moment you invite God into your stress, even if that invitation is just one sentence whispered while driving.
Overcoming Hindrances to Prayer
So, the question becomes what do we do? That's reclaim your prayer life. Turn your perspective from doing prayer to living in a state of prayer. Yes, you can start small. If you can’t get thirty minutes, give God thirty seconds. Pray in the ordinary, sisters. Brother Lawrence called it “practicing the presence of God”. He proves you don't need to be a "prayer warrior" with perfect words. You just need to keep your heart turned toward God in daily life.
Are you washing the dishes? Say, "Jesus, wash me too.” Walking to work? Say within you, "Holy Spirit, go before me.” According to Pastor David Hernandez, "Living a day or a week without prayer is saying Holy Spirit I don’t need you.” And sincerely, if you really want to be able to pray consistently and survive well the way God intended, you want to see God's hand and movement in and through you, you need to just be able to practice His presence daily. Let the awareness of His presence within you become deeply real. Learn to include Him in whatever you are doing. Even when you’re putting your kids to bed, whisper, “Father, bless them.”
That’s not less spiritual, dear woman. You’re simply aligning with the scripture that’s in Luke 21:36, which says, “Pray at all times.” Pray while you commute, or shower. Relationship is built on consistent, short touchpoints, not just grand, orchestrated meetings. Also, stop trying to manage it. The biggest trap is thinking, "I’ll pray once I get this situation under control." You won't. You need God to get it under control. Admit to Him, “Lord, I am exhausted, I am distracted, and I need Your help." That is more powerful than a memorized liturgy. This is what we see with Jesus in Luke 22:42-46.
Elijah too was fed and rested before God spoke to him in 1 Kings 19. If you are exhausted, wash your face or drink a glass of water. Don’t try to fight your flesh on an empty tank. Fuel your body as well. Engage your senses, when your mind wanders. Read a Psalm, like Psalm 23, out loud. Engaging your mouth and ears anchors your mind in the Truth. Fight that shame with the gospel truth. When guilt says, “You’re a bad Christian”, reply, “I’m a daughter (Romans 8:15). And the Spirit is helping me right now.” And Jesus already prayed for you in John 17. So you are not praying alone.
Lastly, don't wait for the feeling. If you wait until you "feel" like praying, you will rarely pray. Believe me. Build it into your schedule as a non-negotiable appointment, like we've discussed.
Beginning Again, With Grace
So, dear sister, the season you are in is not an excuse to step away from God; it is the primary reason you must draw closer. If you’ve been drifting, today is not the day for guilt. Today is the day to simply say, "I'm back, Lord." In Mark 14:35-36; Jesus, in His darkest moment, didn't offer a five-point prayer. He simply said, "Abba, Father." When your words fail, go back to "Daddy." Romans 8:15 reminds us that the Spirit helps us cry out, "Abba, Father." That is enough. Watch how God turns your stress into a testimony.
There’s this story I love in Luke 10:42. Martha was busy doing many things. Mary chose the one thing. Please note that God is not asking for your production— He’s asking for you, just you. Give Him you.
That desire to pray, even when it feels dry? That is the Holy Spirit drawing you (John 6:44). If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t feel the tension. So choose what’s best today and always, and I pray that God will help and replace your weakness with His strength and I pray for you also that His peace will chase every anxiety and fear. And may His right hand uphold you continuously. Amen
In what specific area of your daily life, whether it’s early morning, during work, or in the chaos of childcare, do you find it hardest to carve out that moment of connection with God? We aren't fighting our bodies; we are training them.
Let’s begin again, not with guilt, but with grace. Please take some time to pray this prayer:
Father, thank You that You do not despise small beginnings. Teach my flesh faithfulness, and not perfection. I give You these 5 minutes today. Train my body to remember You. Abba, I’m here. Amen
OUR GUEST’S BIO
Gift is a podcast host, author, and minister dedicated to helping women navigate the intersections of faith, motherhood and spiritual growth. Her heart is to empower women to embrace their true identity as daughters of God and to stand firmly as watchwomen over their homes and families, living their purpose without compromise.
Website: https://www.wisdomwednesdaywithgift.space/
When you feel blocked and are facing hindrances to prayer, what do you do? That desire to pray, even when it feels dry…