View all blog posts here or browse by category:
Motherhood for the Glory of God
Who is on the throne in your household— you or the Lord? Oftentimes, as mothers, we make our own grand designs in our heads. We have all the plans. We’ve thought through all of the contingencies. We have all…
Oftentimes, as mothers, we make our own grand designs in our heads. We have all the plans. We’ve thought through all of the contingencies. We have all of the details laid out. Then, we sit on our mama throne, in our own little motherhood kingdom, and watch the plans unfold–
Directing paths, giving instructions, and keeping everyone on task. When all is well, great. What a happy day. But, when things don’t work out the way we’ve planned, attitudes get sour, tempers get short, and patience runs thin.
Oh, that’s just me?
Ok.
Motherhood is one of the greatest joys we’ll ever have the privilege of experiencing. It also provides us with one of the greatest opportunities to misplace our position of authority if we aren’t careful. In other words, motherhood can be done for the glory of God, or for the glory of ourselves.
It’s a thin line to tread and it’s easy to step on the wrong side. At the end of the day, as mothers, we need to ask ourselves, are we building the Lord’s kingdom, or ours?
Our Kingdom, or His?
We can’t be too careful about where we place our focus, sister. The Lord has called us to be mothers, and it’s such an important job. Great tasks call for great responsibility, especially when it comes to the little lives we have charge over.
There are so many things to do in the area of motherhood, right? Sometimes it can be hard to keep the main thing, the main thing. The Lord, in His wisdom, His care, and His love calls us to seek Him first. He knows the number one thing we need is Him, or nothing else makes sense. When we do keep Him in first place, it’s much easier to keep the right perspective.
RELATED: How to Find Rest in Motherhood
Without Him as our main focus, we can easily get busy building our own kingdom while we let God’s kingdom fall to the waste side. Our rules, our objectives, our plans, and our purposes. We can think what we’re doing with our kids is building God's kingdom, but sometimes we’re simply making sure our own little kingdom is in proper order.
As mothers, we can become comfortable within our own walls and in our own heads. So much so, that our comfortability traps us in a state of disobedience.
Yes, even if we’re doing all the right things, all the spiritual disciplines, and partaking in all the biblical parenting advice we can find. Within all of these wonderful practices, we can still be too busy maneuvering through our kingdom to be obedient.
A Lesson from the Book of Haggai
I love diving into some of the lesser-referenced books of the Bible; the book of Haggai is one of them. There are some powerful truths we can find when we take the time to study the Word and inquire of the Holy Spirit for wisdom and understanding of the message being conveyed.
Haggai was a prophet in the days when the Jewish exiles returned home after 70 years of captivity in Babylon. God used him to encourage the people to stop being complacent and comfortable in their own homes, and instead get back to rebuilding the Temple.
They needed some motivation because priorities were a little out of whack. They were focused on themselves, their own lives, and their own agendas. They labored, ran their households, and provided for their families– indeed, they weren’t idle. Yet, they weren’t doing the main thing. They were comfortable in their own little kingdoms, you could say.
Sound like anything we just talked about?
I love the Lord’s instruction to the people:
“Thus says the Lord of hosts: “Consider your ways!” ”
It’s as if the Lord is calling out: Wake up. Pay attention. Think about what you’re doing!
Is it our work, or the Lord’s work? And, even if it is for the Lord, is it what He is actually calling us to do right now, in His timing, in His way?
Kingdom Building with a Badge of Busyness
Let’s consider our ways, fellow mama.
We can inadvertently put on our badge of busyness, too physically and mentally frantic taking care of our own world to focus on what the Lord has for us. All of our sights can be set on the short-term aspects of our lives— so much so that we give very little thought to what matters long term.
You see, as mothers, we can live a life for the glory of God. We can wipe noses, change diapers, and cook meals for the glory of God. We can, and we should do all things for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 13:31).
However, sister, we should be mindful to not get lost in all of those things. Can we tend to these immediate needs without losing sight of what the Lord is calling us to do for His kingdom, big picture? Because I don’t know what you, but these immediate needs– albeit tending to them does show Christ’s love to our families– leave me exhausted by the end of the day. Sometimes, as I’m living a life focused on the daily tasks, I’m left with very little energy to set my sights on the Lord’s kingdom. It’s all about my kingdom and how I want it to run.
Maybe that’s how the people of Haggai’s day felt.
Unchecked Priorities
The Lord called for a drought on all the labors of the Jewish people’s hands (Haggai 1:11) because they did not have their priorities straight. Their walls were beautiful and comfortable, while the Lord’s Temple was left unfinished. They were focused on themselves and not the Lord.
Their priorities were not in their proper place– but not just their priorities. In fact, they lacked the fear of the Lord.
Yet, once the people feared the Lord (their reverence was in the proper place), the Lord stirred them to continue their work on the temple (Haggai 1:12-14). As Proverbs shares, we need to begin with the fear of the Lord; it is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge (Proverbs 1:7). It is the start of our trust in and obedience to God.
When we’re on our thrones, we want our children to fear us and do what we say; we want them to revere us. Until we step down from our fabricated throne, there’s no room for the Lord to be on the throne in our hearts and our households.
Kingdom Building the Better Way
And, sister, as we enter into the realm of doing the Lord’s work and will for His glory– not ours– He is faithful to step alongside us (Haggai 2:4).
RELATED: Living for the Lord on Purpose
We see this as the Jewish people in Haggai’s day began working on the Temple again. They had to leave the comfort of their homes and jettison their own priorities in order to be faithful to what the Lord wanted them to do NOW. In doing so, the Lord promised that the new Temple would be one far greater than the former; more glorious. He promised it would provide a place of peace (Haggai 2:9).
Like those God called to focus on rebuilding the Temple, we too have to give up our own agendas and be mindful that we’re carrying out the Lord’s. It may be scary. It may be exhausting. It may be so much more uncomfortable than the way we’re running our household now. But, sister, the Lord promises that His way will be one that brings peace.
His way for our families will be better than anything we could do solely through the labor of our own hands.
Put Your Reverence in the Right Place: Free Psalms Bible Study
Dive deeper into the Word and focus on God’s tremendous love for you in your motherhood journey with this 16-page Bible Study. You’ll take a look at Psalms that shout God’s faithfulness, call you to praise Him louder, and trust Him more deeply.
Warning: For the Glory of God…or Not?
At one point, the Lord prompts Haggai to ask the priests about how things become holy, unclean, and defiled. They respond by basically saying that things do not become holy merely by touch or by being in a specific place. Yet, things can be defiled by touch or presence. (Haggai 2:11-14).
What does this have to do with us– those of us who are children of God, living under grace, in Christ?
Follow me, sister. We can easily think that all is well and good in our house because we are a Christian family, or because we say we live a lifestyle that is biblical. We’re doing family devotions, quiet times before the Lord, going to church, and being mindful to train up our children biblically.
Yet, if we’re just going through the motions, doing our duties with hearts that are absent of surrender unto Him, things are not all well and good. If we aren’t being obedient to the Lord daily, yielding and submitting to His will for our lives– in the big and little things– dare I say that our disobedience “defiles” us.
It may look like we’re living for the glory of God, but really, it’s a façade because something is missing– obedience.
Our disobedience, be it ever so subtle, puts us in a position where we’re at odds with the Lord, going against His grain. The labor of our hands is not an acceptable sacrifice to Him. Or, perhaps we are walking in step with His plans, but our attitude is sour and we’re grumbling; unfortunately, that’s not a good look either!
Obedience—physically and by way of the attitude of our hearts— is better than sacrifice (1 Samuel 15:22).
But, praise God, sister, that we can please the Lord! We have the ability. Through the power of the Holy Spirit working within us, our desires can line up with the Lord’s; we can willingly surrender our throne to Him; and we can delight in Him. Motherhood can be done for the glory of God alone– by God’s grace. Let us not lose heart.
RELATED: How to Pursue Righteousness
How do we consider our ways?
When we consider our ways and are mindful to be obedient to the Lord, He will bless us. We’ll see changes in our lives and the lives of our families. But first, we need to take an honest look to determine whose throne is in our household.
Is our motherhood being lived out for the glory of God? Let us consider our ways with 7 reflective questions:
Is there an abundance of peace in our households, or continual strife?
How upset do we get when our children don’t obey every little thing?
Do we see times of disobedience as teachable moments or strictly as our children’s failure to fall in line?
Are we spending difficult moments in prayer or in frustration?
How often do we ask for the Lord’s wisdom?
Is our to-do list so pressing that it leaves no room for the Spirit’s promptings to direct us throughout the day?
Do our children understand that in parental obedience they are learning to obey the Lord? Or does the buck stop with us?
Are we willing to let God overthrow our kingdom?
He will, sister, and it’ll be for the better. Just because we aren’t sitting on our thrones anymore, doesn’t mean we have no authority. God placed us as mothers in our households and He still has important work for us to do. He simply wants us to yield to Him as the ultimate Ruler, not to hold all the power in our own hands.
Shall we let our kingdoms fall and His rise? I believe so. His is more glorious. And in His kingdom, there is peace.
More in motherhood
Humility in the Midst of the Unknown: A Lesson from Mary
It may seem weird to pair the word humility with the word unknown. Normally, when we’re thinking about journeying into the unknown, we’d…
It may seem weird to pair the word humility with the word unknown. Normally, when we’re thinking about journeying into the unknown, we’d use the word trust, or maybe even faith.
But humility is appropriate too. That’s because it’s the arch-nemesis of humility– pride– that sets off our struggle as we step into the unknown.
Pride hinders us from fully trusting the Lord and walking in faith.
I have first-hand experience in this area. August 2012 was initially like any other hot, summer August. I was working full-time during that season in my life, but I had a lot of paid time off I needed to use before the end of the fiscal year. So, during those weeks at home, I had a lot of quiet time with the Lord.
Before you jump to the conclusion that this was a beautiful, serene time— let me stop you right there. You see, we hadn’t had kids yet, but I felt the Lord strongly pressing upon my heart that it was time to start our family.
For someone whose only dream when growing up was to be a mom, you’d think I would have jumped at the Lord’s calling. But, I didn’t. I hesitated.
A lack of humility
At the time, we had people in our lives who truly wanted what was best for us and would help us to “stay on the right track” by offering advice and counsel. Nothing wrong with this– as long as it is godly counsel from a biblical perspective and worldview. In fact, Proverbs 11:14 tells us that there is safety in a multitude of counselors.
Encouraging us to make sure our finances were better first, or get out of debt, or buy a home first… these were some of the things we heard in terms of whether or not we were ready to have kids. Again, none of this was inherently wrong advice. The Bible tells us we should be good stewards of our money.
The only discrepancy with the advice was that I had a strong conviction from the Lord. He spoke directly to my heart about starting a family.
I hesitated with the Lord’s calling because I was too busy listening to everyone else’s counsel.
As I look back, my faith and reliance on the Lord were not as strong then as they are now. Be that as it may, I don’t recall the Lord ever bringing those personal finance matters to mind. They weren’t any of His concern– He simply called me to start a family.
It was my job to trust Him and proceed. Yet, the sin of pride was what kept me listening to others’ counsel overtop of the Lord’s.
RELATED: Trusting God When You Can’t See His Bigger Plans
Pride makes you wrestle with God
So that August, as I had time off work— time to be alone and commune with the Lord, He brought me to my knees. I call it my Jacob experience. You know, the time the Lord wrestled with Jacob at Peniel (Genesis 32:22-32).
I began feeling very irritable, emotional, and depressed, crying almost every day. This is how it began. Over the course of about 2 weeks, I agonized over the decision to get pregnant as the battle between man’s counsel and God’s counsel waged war in my mind.
It was a trying time— painful, confusing, and intense. Once I truly recognized what was going on, and that this was the Lord’s way of getting my attention, it all became clear.
He brought me out of my pride and into humble submission to the plans and purposes He had for me. He prevailed, His plans prevailed, and He showed me that what He calls me to do, I can only willingly do in submission to His will– once I remove the pride.
“Before destruction the heart of a person is haughty, But humility goes before honor.”
I had to remove the pride of: My plans are better; I need to fix things on my own before I do this; or, This idea sounds good, God, but I was thinking…
Pride keeps us in a place where we walk the dangerous line of destruction, falsely deceived into thinking we know best.
But we don’t. His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are above our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8).
Pride holds us back from purposely living for the Lord.
Pride makes us walk by sight, not by faith.
Humble Submission
When the Lord calls us to a hard decision, we cannot fully operate within the safety of His will when pride fills our hearts. We must allow Him to remove it.
Once we do, we can enter into a place of humility before Him, where we can bow to His will, and from there, humbly submit.
Once we humbly submit, then, ultimately, we can walk in faith. And, when we walk in faith, we have the peace that only the Lord can give us.
By the end of that August, after humbly submitting to the Lord’s timing, I was pregnant with our first child, who we welcomed into the world that following spring.
RELATED: How to Accept the Peace Jesus Offers
Finances weren’t an issue. It didn’t matter that we still lived in a two-bedroom apartment. It made no difference that we weren’t out of debt. All we needed was provided. Jehovah Jireh.
Because He is the Lord our God. And that is what He does.
Humility & Submission as Seen in Mary
We can look to Mary in the Bible, Jesus’s mother, as an example of what humility and submission look like. She is an amazing example of being willing to be used by the Lord, no matter the cost.
Unlike me, she did not buck at the calling the Lord gave her for weeks on end. She didn’t wrestle with Him for many days as she contemplated what others were telling her about her life.
When the angel Gabriel appeared to give her the message that Jesus would be conceived in her womb, she didn’t say ‘No.’ She didn’t say she wasn’t willing, or “What about this…?”. Her only question was a logistical one when she asked how this could happen since she was a virgin (Luke 1:26-34).
She didn’t even speak about the possible consequences of accepting a calling like this– being looked at as an adulterer, or how others would view Joseph, to whom she was betrothed.
No– her next words are ones we can all learn from:
“And Mary said, “Behold, the Lord’s bond-servant; may it be done to me according to your word.””
Looking for simple, practical ways to live life on purpose?
Subscribe today!
Humility in the Bible
Humility is a heart attitude. It displays itself in our lives when we possess meekness, and we see ourselves rightly compared to God. Got Questions states, “True humility produces godliness, contentment, and security.”
Humility shouts, He is God; I am not.
Proverbs 22:4 says, “The reward of humility and the fear of the Lord are riches, honor, and life.” (NASB)
Pride is never rewarded. In fact, the Bible says repeatedly that pride comes before the fall, before destruction, and that the Lord will humble the proud (Proverbs 16:18; Proverbs 11:2; Proverbs 29:23; James 4:6).
Instead, humility comes before honor (Proverbs 18:12). We can never truly and honestly submit to the Lord without humility. He honors those who do, just as He did with Mary. She became the mother of our risen Lord, and was loved and cherished by Him throughout His time here on earth.
So, what can we learn from Mary? In times of uncertainty– when the Lord is calling us to a place or to circumstances unknown, like Mary we can grow in our faith in these ways:
#1: Listen intently to what God is calling you to do.
As Gabriel spoke his message from God straight to Mary (Luke 1:28-33), she didn’t interrupt or overthink it. She didn’t jump from “A” to “Z”, wondering about all of the letters in between. There was no verbal comeback or hint of extreme disbelief in her response.
You too can have this heart attitude. Be still and quiet long enough to actually hear what the Lord is saying. Make sure you understand His Words and the things He is pressing upon your heart. Don’t immediately jump to conclusions or get wrapped up in the details.
#2: ALLOW GOD TO HANDLE THE DETAILS.
After she heard the message, her only question was simple (yet, I’m sure all of us women completely understand why she’d ask that!). She just needed a tiny piece of the puzzle to help her make sense of it all, and that was that.
God is not the Author of confusion. Even if He calls you to do something but doesn’t give you a bunch of details (which is often the case!), it profits you nothing to try and figure out “how to get there” or what you’ll do when you arrive.
God will provide for you, sustain you, and keep you every step of the way.
#3: Take the Lord at His word.
Gabriel explained to Mary that the Holy Spirit would come upon her, and her child would be called the Son of God. In case she needed more encouragement in the power of the Lord, Gabriel also gave her word that her cousin Elizabeth was pregnant in her old age (Luke 1:35-37).
Mary simply took the Lord at His word, believing all of these things immediately– not because she thought she was worthy, but because she knew her God. She knew her God was big enough to handle all the details. To work things out. To give her the grace and steadfastness she needed to live out this calling.
Sister, do you take the Lord at His word? When He calls you to something big or small, or something a little frightening, do you respond in a way that presents yourself as a humble servant, ready to do His will?
He is the same God now as He was back then. If He entrusted Mary with carrying the Savior of the world in her womb, will He not also trust you to carry out whatever task He is calling you to?
SISTER, LET’S Walk by faith.
Please don’t be like I was during that hot August in 2012. Please don’t buck at the Lord’s word. Please don’t listen more to the counsel of others— no matter how godly it may be— if you have a clear conviction from the Lord.
Trust me, it doesn’t end well. Until…
You submit. You bow in humility. You release the pride. You let the Lord have His way.
His way is always best for you. You can’t see the full picture. You don’t know everything that lies up ahead– all the blessings, the honor, and the ways your life will glorify Him.
But He knows.
So trust Him, sister. Humbly submit. Step out in faith.
He can’t wait for your relationship with Him to grow more deeply as you do.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE TO READ:
3 Ways Pride Manifests in Motherhood
Should I be a proud mom? I think this question crosses a lot of our minds when we think of our kids. There is nothing wrong with…
Recently my daughter and oldest son were playing a game where my daughter was a princess. They came to the dinner table and when I called her name to ask her to do something, she politely responded with a correction: “It’s Princess, mom.”
They continued their pretend play throughout dinner using their make-believe names, while my husband and I (the humble peasants, perhaps?) looked on.
After dinner, as usual, it was time for the kids to do their chores. As my daughter began to walk away from the table, I reminded her that it was her turn to sweep the floor.
“But I’m a princess,” she said. “Princesses don't do chores.” She said it with a smile, jokingly, and in character. I knew she was just being silly.
Unfortunately for her, my imagination switch wasn’t turned on at the moment. It had been a tiring day, I wasn’t feeling well, and even with the completion of their chores, I knew I still had clean-up work of my own to do. I needed to not be the one who also swept.
I gave her a look, and in all serious (with a little sass) I replied,
“Jesus is the King and He washed people’s feet.”
“Oh. Oh yeah.” With a slight grin in her “aha” moment, she did an about-face and marched to get the broom.
The proud mom throne
The truth is, many times as moms we are playing the same game. We’re princesses, or probably more accurately, queens of our own little established kingdom.
We may not talk ourselves out of cleaning or chores due to our royalty, but our throne manifests itself in various other ways.
Our throne is so shiny that oftentimes we don’t recognize it for what it is. Because of this, it can easily get out of hand and infiltrate multiple areas of our lives, especially motherhood.
I’m talking about pride. Let’s chat about this.
What is pride?
We normally think of pride as thinking too highly of ourselves and acting accordingly. When we’re prideful, we tend to live and play by our own rules and expect everyone else to follow suit.
Or, perhaps it leads to a feeling of entitlement— thinking we are owed something because of who we are or what we’ve accomplished.
Dare I say, pride can also come at the other end of the spectrum. When we think too lowly of ourselves, think we aren’t good enough, or how we are not up to par compared to others, that is also pride. Why?
When we think we aren’t good enough compared to others, that is saying that we believe God made us incorrectly. We are saying we think that if He’d done a better job, we’d be better off.
The proud mom
Should I be a proud mom? I think this question crosses a lot of our minds when we think of our kids. There is nothing wrong with being proud of our children when they do good things, get good grades, achieve in sports, or we catch them displaying godly character traits in their interactions with friends.
These things are all well and good and can be used to honor the Lord.
But, this isn’t the type of pride we’re talking about. There is a type of proud mom that hinders more than helps our motherhood.
Pride comes before the fall
The dangerous pride is what is warned about in the Bible. This is the pride that leads to destruction (Proverbs 16:18). It puts us in a position where we think we know best, even better than God. Even if we don’t use those exact words, typically that is the attitude behind pride.
Yet, if you were to look up Bible verses about pride, you’d see clearly that the Lord opposes the proud (James 4:6) and in fact, the proud are eventually torn down.
Did you hear the one about the guy who turned into an ox?
King Nebuchadnezzar’s story in the book of Daniel has always been interesting to me. Such a powerful and prideful man, Nebuchadnezzar was considered the greatest king of the Babylonian Empire.
This is the same Nebuchadnezzar who built a tall, gold statue of himself and demanded everyone bow down to it. When Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego didn’t, they were thrown into the fiery furnace.
Sometime after this event, however, he is given a dream that Daniel interprets for him. The dream shows him that he needs to humble himself and recognize that the Lord rules, and He is the source of power, greatness, and wealth.
Unfortunately, Nebuchadnezzar doesn’t seek humility and after 12 months, as he is proclaiming his greatness aloud, a voice speaks to him from heaven, God passes judgment on him for his pride, and:
Immediately the word was fulfilled against Nebuchadnezzar. He was driven from among men and ate grass like an ox, and his body was wet with the dew of heaven till his hair grew as long as eagles' feathers, and his nails were like birds' claws (Daniel 4:33).
Ok, so maybe he didn’t literally turn into an ox! But talk about quite a judgment! Nebuchadnezzar spent the next 7 years of his life this way until he finally humbled himself before the Lord and gave praise and honor where it was due (Daniel 4:34-35).
“Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of heaven, for all his works are right and his ways are just; and those who walk in pride he is able to humble. ”
What pride looks like in motherhood
Just as we see in Nebuchadnezzar’s life, pride keeps us from doing what’s right. When you’re a proud mom, you start to make your own decrees in your own little kingdom.
Pride creates an obstacle to God’s grace in your life because He gives grace to the humble, not the proud.
Once Nebuchadnezzar humbled himself, the Lord gave him grace, restoring to him his kingdom, his majesty, the favor of his counselors, and as he narrates, still more greatness was added to me (Daniel 4:36).
Still more greatness. That’s God’s grace.
Mama, I’m here to tell you– heavy is the head that wears the crown. I know. I’m on my throne too, right next to you. Let’s learn a lesson from an ancient king, and at the same time examine our own lives.
Pride in motherhood looks like a few of these things:
#1: We use the phrase, “Because I told you so,” too often.
There is a difference between discipline or training up our children, and barking out orders. The things we’re telling or asking our kids to do should have a reason behind them, and depending on their age, it should be a reason that can be explained to them.
Now, I know there are times when it’s warranted to use this phrase, and our children should obey because that’s what they’re called to do.
However, when we see ourselves as the queens of the castle, it’s easy to simply throw out commands all day and expect our humble servants to follow suit.
Be led by the Spirit
As we allow the Holy Spirit to lead us in our parenting, we will find patience, gentleness, and self-control. We will find the humility to stoop down to their level and help them understand what we’re asking them to do and why– which oftentimes allows them to see the importance of the task.
On the opposite, when we tell our kids what to do all day without any training or explanations, we’re simply teaching them to only obey rules for the sake of obeying rules and a ruler.
Is obedience important? Yes! The Lord calls children to obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1) and we are called to obey the Lord. But, doesn’t the Lord make His “whys” clear to us in the full counsel Scripture? Has He not sent the Spirit to dwell in us to help us understand and direct us in the things He calls us to do?
If the Lord Almighty on His throne is willing to be patient with us as we walk out obedience, should we not do the same with the children with whom He’s entrusted us?
#2: Our worth as a mom is wrapped up in our children
It may be surprising to hear that pride in motherhood comes in the form of your children determining your worth as a mom.
Maybe, based on how well they behave or what others think of them, we form a belief of “how good of a mom” we are.
Or perhaps, it correlates to how you choose to raise your kids: how organic or homemade their food and snacks are, whether they’re homeschooled or in the classroom, or the activities in which they’re involved.
If your teen goes through a rebellion phase, you feel your worth diminishes.
If your child graduates as an academic achiever and star athlete, you feel all the more worthy.
Mama, take off the crown. These are all false feelings, made-up standards, and lies. Worth is found in Christ and Christ alone.
Our worth is found in the One who is worthy
Before we were born, He formed us in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13).
Even when we were still dead in our sin, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).
And in Him, we are blessed with every spiritual blessing, chosen, holy and blameless before Him, adopted, redeemed, forgiven, and have an inheritance sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:3-14).
Nowhere in any of those verses does it say that we have to be a mom to obtain these blessings and promises. It also doesn’t say that our kids’ behavior at the mall yesterday taints any of them.
He is our all in all and from whom our worth and value come. It doesn’t fade or wrinkle.
But, when we think our identity and worth are wrapped up in the actions of our children, that is pride. It’s pride because inadvertently we are saying that how we have raised them is the key factor in determining our value.
The problem is, however, that our kids change and grow. Their character changes, sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse.
Yet, God created us with value, and if He is the one who sustains us and He doesn’t change, then our value and worth don’t change either. He redeemed us. And upon accepting that redemption in Christ, we are given a whole slew of other benefits and blessings.
It has nothing to do with us.
#3: We’re easily disappointed when our kids don’t live up to our expectations.
Comparison is a dangerous thing. We can easily find ourselves scrolling through social media, holding up the reflection of our lives against our friends or those we follow. We can have discussions with other moms from our children’s school and compare their kids’ academic abilities, behavior, socialization skills, and athleticism with our kids’.
Maybe it’s comparison that creates unnecessary expectations for our children.
Or, maybe it’s the latest parenting advice we received from a professional, or every other mom on the block who has happily given us her opinion.
Then there is the way we were raised. We can easily look back at our childhood, contemplate the good and the bad, the wishes and wants we had, and impose them on our kids.
We expect them to live a certain way, behave a certain way in public, and have certain kinds of friends. And, when our children miss the mark, we’re disappointed.
Do you expect too much?
You see, mama, the rules and decrees we’ve created can sometimes serve little purpose. It’s ok to be intentional and mindful in your parenting– in fact, it’s typically a good idea!
But, when we take these mindsets a too far, expecting our little kingdom to look a certain way inside of the house, and to present itself perfectly outside of the house, we’re in the danger zone.
Here, we’re at risk of concealing God’s grace in our everyday lives with the expectations in our do’s and don’t’s, and the failure behind our disappointment. It stifles the ability of our kids to see God’s hand moving in their lives in situations where they struggle or are weak because instead of seeing God’s grace, all they can think about is how they plucked a head of grain on the Sabbath and they shouldn’t have done that.
Expectations lead to weariness
Too many expectations leave our kids feeling overwhelmed and under pressure. And, mama, if we’re constantly feeling disappointed with our children’s conduct, we’re also likely feeling weary and we need to take a look at our own methods.
Let’s be sure the rules and expectations we’re placing on our children are age-appropriate, biblical, and profitable in our training of them in the way they should go.
Proud mom or boast in the Lord?
Mama, we can do this. We can step down from our thrones. We can toss the crowns to the side. Right now, as we are here on this earth, let’s show our children that the King of kings has His rightful place on the throne in our hearts. Let’s display His kingdom, not our imaginary one.
Let’s show our children that it is Him who has done all things for us– He gives life, He provides, He leads the way, and He sustains us.
We are not a force to be reckoned with or someone to bow down to. When we are living as proud moms, we’re blocking our children’s view of the throne. His throne.
Step aside.
As we do, in our humility, He will exalt us in due time.
Want more encouragement? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE and be the first to receive purposeful posts straight to your inbox!
+Free Bible Study Printables+ Making time for God as a busy mom isn’t always the easiest thing to do. But, studying God’s Word is one of the most important things we can do to cultivate a deeper relationship with the Lord. Learn the key to spending more time with God, as well as 22 TIPS to help you consistently get in the Word each day.