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Having an Attitude of Hospitality
Showing hospitality isn’t as complicated as we may think. Whether inside or outside your home, it’s important that we get our attitude right first. From there, following the Lord’s guidance, hospitality can be as easy as 1-2-3.
You know the feeling of being the “new person”— when you walk into a room and you don’t know anyone; or maybe you’re in a new place and you’re not quite sure what to do or where to go? Think about one of those experiences right now. Do you remember how you felt?
Awkward?
Unseen?
Or, maybe too seen (Hey everybody, look— who’s that??)
I consider myself to be an introverted extrovert. I love meeting new people and making new friends, but I need help to break into already-established groups and friendships. Honestly, I don’t enjoy being the one who doesn’t know anyone, or the one everyone wants to ask a million questions of in an effort to get to know (that part mainly stems from the fact that I don’t care to be the center of attention!).
Yet, as much as I don’t like being the center of attention, what I like even less is feeling invisible.
Not noticed, unapproached, or ignored.
Even those who aren’t huge fans of a ton of people interaction throughout the day don’t want to be completely forgotten about or unseen all the time.
I can think of a handful of experiences I’ve had where this has happened. I was in a place where I knew no one, and no one seemed to care to know me. It wasn’t the best of times.
In these moments, what we’re looking for is hospitality– an attitude of hospitality. And the good news is, sister, this attitude is something each and every one of us can possess if we’re willing.
What is hospitality?
A basic definition of hospitality is the act of being friendly and welcoming to guests and visitors. Normally when we think of the word hospitality, we think of inviting someone into our home, offering them a drink, snack, or meal, and making them feel welcome. Or perhaps, we think of what is known as the hospitality industry– hotels and places that are in the business of welcoming guests and visitors to the highest degree of comfort.
But, let’s not be too overly zealous, sister. This may not be us. If not, good news– we don’t have to have the ultra-clean home and amazingly-stocked fridge that’s ready to take on anyone at any time. Truth be told, I don’t particularly like uninvited guests! I don’t like the feeling of being unprepared, only having water and a handful of Goldfish crackers left to offer a visitor. It makes me feel inadequate.
You see, sister– herein lies the problem. If you are like me and the thought of always needing to be ready and willing to have people over causes you any amount of stress or thoughts of inadequacy, you’re overthinking hospitality.
Hospitality isn’t perfection. It’s not having all the right foods. It’s not having the comfiest guest room. If you do have all of these things– that’s amazing! But, those aren’t the only things that make hospitality.
Hospitality is an attitude. It is a willingness to be open, welcoming, friendly, and available (yes, sometimes to strangers and uninvited guests!).
It’s following the Lord’s leading to invite someone into your world– whether that is via your home or your heart.
And, with the Lord’s help, we can all bear that attitude.
Hospitality in the Bible
There are numerous examples of those who showed hospitality in the Bible. Let’s briefly look at three.
Lydia
Lydia was a woman who was said to be a worshiper of God. Upon hearing Paul speak, her heart was opened by the Lord and she responded to what Paul was preaching. The next thing you know, she and her household were baptized and she invited Paul and his companions to stay with her (Acts 16:14-15). Strangers. Men she didn’t know. Undoubtedly, she was led by the Lord to open her heart and her home to these people who had just blessed her with the Truth.
Abraham
Of course, we can’t forget about Abraham’s measure of hospitality as seen in Genesis 18, when he is visited by three men, one of who is the Lord. At the time of their arrival, Abraham was resting in the heat of the day; yet, he immediately rose up and invited them to stay.
“Do not neglect hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. ”
He offered them water to wash their feet, a place to rest, bread, and a meal to eat. There was no second thought; no hesitation. Again, there was a trusting attitude of submission to the Lord that was apparent in the way that he treated these guests.
Boaz
Or how about the way Boaz showed hospitality to Ruth as he allowed her to glean in his fields? This ordinary gesture of kindness yielded extraordinary results in the life of Boaz, Ruth, and their entire family line, which traces down to Jesus!
As is evident from these examples of hospitality in the Bible, we can’t do it without His lead and guidance. We shouldn’t do it without His lead and guidance either!
HOSPITALITY: AN ATTITUDE TO LIVE BY (FREE DOWNLOAD)
Living on purpose and being intentional in our actions yields a life that brings glory to God— but only when our actions line up with His Word! Romans 12 has so much wisdom for us in how to treat others, whether we’re “entertaining strangers” or friends! Download your FREE copy featuring 25 ways to encourage, build up and show hospitality to others. Fill out the form below.
An attitude of hospitality
Hospitality is most clearly seen and recognized in the forms we just spoke about— inviting someone into your home; having someone over for coffee or a meal. Again, we can find many instances of hospitality in the Bible that give us this clear representation of such a beautiful thing. I’m even including some Bible verses about hospitality below so you can do some further reading!
However, right now, I’d like to circle back and focus specifically on hospitality as an attitude. In other words, outside of the many facets and ways we can go about being hospitable by bringing people into our homes, how can we show hospitality in a way that simply invites people into our hearts, expecting nothing in return?
3 simple ways to show hospitality
These steps aren’t complicated, sister! Even for an introverted extrovert like me, they are doable, not too intimidating, and with the Lord’s help, very effective at showing His love and kindness in a practical sort of way.
#1- Seek out the newbie.
When you’re in a place of familiarity— church, at your child’s school event, or extracurricular activities— look for what’s unfamiliar. The newest person in the room simply wants to be seen. Go out of your way to say hello, offer a smile, and a friendly greeting. What may seem like a simple gesture from you will be much appreciated (and remembered) by them.
#2- Put yourself in their shoes.
Think about what you’d want someone to say to you if you were the new person in the room. Invite them to sit with you; introduce them to your circle of friends; or, show them where they should go to check in, grab a coffee, use the restroom, or speak to the person in charge.
Remember, when we’re in new places, our senses immediately go into overdrive– we’re checking out all the people, the sounds, the environment, and trying to read the room— all at the same time. It can be overwhelming! Be the one who helps to calm their overwhelm by simply being available to assist them in navigating unchartered waters.
#3- Help them to feel like they belong.
Once you’ve helped your new acquaintance get settled, invite them to join you in a conversation with your friends; instead of pointing them in the direction of the coffee area, walk over with them; or, introduce your kids to their kids. Make a point to get to know them as soon as you can and help them to get to know you. People want to be seen and heard, but not by a “robotic welcome committee”. They want to know that there’s a chance that you could become real, authentic friends– so begin that way.
RELATED: Creating Community Among Sisters
do you have the attitude?
The beautiful thing about hospitality– whether inside or outside of your home– is that it creates the opportunity for the stranger to become a friend; for the unfamiliar to become familiar; and for the newbie to become one of the crew.
Again, sister, this attitude begins with us seeking the Lord and being obedient to what He wants us to do in the moment. If we aren't seeking Him, there’s a good chance we’ll neglect opportunities to show His love, grace, and kindness to others. Even if we’re quiet, reserved, and a little unsure of what to say– if the Lord is in it, He’ll direct your steps and your words. And, He deserves all the glory anyway!
Bible verses about hospitality
Need a little more inspiration (or motivation) to get out there and be hospitable? Rest assured, the Lord desires for us to show hospitality, so you know He’s going to equip us along the way! Here are a few Bible verses about hospitality to save and remember.
1 Peter 4:9-10 NKJV
Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
Hebrews 13:1-2 NASB
Let love of the brothers and sisters continue. Do not neglect hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.
Luke 14:13-14 NASB
But whenever you give a banquet, invite people who are poor, who have disabilities, who are limping, and people who are blind; and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.
Genesis 19:2 NASB
And he said, “Now behold, my lords, please turn aside into your servant’s house, and spend the night, and wash your feet; then you may rise early and go on your way.”
Genesis 18:2-5 NASB
When he raised his eyes and looked, behold, three men were standing opposite him; and when he saw them, he ran from the tent door to meet them and bowed down to the ground, and said, “My Lord, if now I have found favor in Your sight, please do not pass Your servant by. Please let a little water be brought and wash your feet, and make yourselves comfortable under the tree; and I will bring a piece of bread, so that you may refresh yourselves; after that you may go on, since you have visited your servant.”
Acts 16:15 NASB
Now when she and her household had been baptized, she urged us, saying, “If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come into my house and stay.” And she prevailed upon us.
2 Kings 4:8-10 NASB
Now a day came when Elisha went over to Shunem, where there was a prominent woman, and she urged him to eat food. And so it was, as often as he passed by, that he turned in there to eat food. And she said to her husband, “Behold now, I am aware that this is a holy man of God passing by us repeatedly. Please, let’s make a little walled upper room, and let’s set up a bed for him there, and a table, a chair, and a lampstand; then it shall be, when he comes to us, that he can turn in there.”
Romans 12:13 NASB
…contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.
Be faithful to what the Lord is calling you to do, sister! In that, who knows…you may find your next best friend! +Live on purpose+
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7 Reasons to Glorify God
Mary was humble, submitted, and trusted the Lord at His word. She had incredible faith. But, this isn’t about Mary. Mary’s Magnificat is of course about the Lord. And, there is much that we can learn about glorifying God in these few verses.
Big news can be exciting; it can also be troubling. I remember receiving troubling news about this time last year. It was unexpected and left me flabbergasted, to say the least. It brought along with it many emotions, some being sadness and anxiety.
Going through tough times is hard. But, you know what? Even exciting news can bring anxiousness and feelings of uncertainty for the future. We’re not sure how things will turn out, and will the journey will take us.
Or, perhaps the anxiety comes because we’re not sure what will happen to us along the way.
But God. Even in the uncertainty, He continually gives us reason to bring Him glory.
One such girl we’re all familiar with, who knew how to glorify God despite the circumstances, is Mary in the Bible– the mother of Jesus. When given the biggest news one could possibly imagine, this young and humble servant did less fretting and more glorifying. We see this displayed beautifully in Mary’s Magnificat.
What is Mary’s Magnificat?
The Magnificat is Mary’s song–or poem and prayer of praise– and can be found in Luke chapter 1. Upon visiting her relative Elizabeth, who is pregnant with a boy who would later be known as John the Baptist, Mary becomes overjoyed with what the Lord is doing in her life.
You see, not long before visiting Elizabeth, the angel Gabriel had come to Mary and told her that she would conceive of the Holy Spirit and give birth to a Son, and his name would be Jesus. Overwhelmed, no doubt, yet humbly submitted to this news, we see Mary respond in faith, trusting in the Lord (Luke 1:26-38).
As she meets with Elizabeth, who is filled with the Holy Spirit, baby John the Baptist leaps in her womb, and she blesses Mary for her faith.
It’s at this point that Mary begins to glorify God by singing her praises to Him. It is a beautiful piece of Scripture; so impactful, in fact, that I want to share it here:
“And Mary said:
“My soul exalts the Lord,
And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.
For He has had regard for the humble state of His bond-servant;
For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed.
For the Mighty One has done great things for me;
And holy is His name.
And His mercy is to generation after generation
Toward those who fear Him.
He has done mighty deeds with His arm;
He has scattered those who were proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
He has brought down rulers from their thrones,
And has exalted those who were humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
And sent the rich away empty-handed.
He has given help to His servant Israel,
In remembrance of His mercy,
Just as He spoke to our fathers,
To Abraham and his descendants forever.””
God is in the business of doing the unexpected.
There is so much that we can take away from Mary and her attitude as she is faced with this life-changing news. And, not simply news that is life-changing, but all that would transpire for the remainder of her life because of the One to come– the One she’d hold dearly in her arms as a little baby, who would one day spread his own arms on a cross as our Savior.
This was likely nothing like she expected her life to turn out to be. Yet, isn’t that our God? He seems to be in the business of doing the unexpected. His ways are higher than ours– therefore we can’t even fathom what He can or will do in our lives. I think that is one reason why it is easy to glorify God. If we could figure it all out on our own and coordinate things to transpire for all to see and be astounded by, we wouldn’t think that He is so awesome.
But we can’t; we can’t even begin to formulate and orchestrate our world in a way that makes total sense 100% of the time. Therefore, our job is to simply trust in Him and obey.
This is what we see in Mary. She was humble, submitted, and trusted the Lord at His word. She had incredible faith.
But, this isn’t about Mary. Mary’s Magnificat is of course about the Lord. And, there is much that we can learn about glorifying God in these few verses.
RELATED: Trusting God in All Circumstances
7 Reasons to Glorify God
To glorify God means that we give Him the honor and praise that He is due. We acknowledge His worth, majesty, and greatness.
Obviously, there are many more than seven reasons to glorify God! As we study His Word and sit at His feet, in His presence, He reveals more of His character to us. As we bow in worship to Him, He reveals more facets of all He is; and the more He reveals to us, the more we desire to worship Him. It’s a never-ending cycle, sister!
Nevertheless, looking through the eyes of Mary’s Magnificat and other supporting Scriptures, here are seven reasons to glorify God.
#1: He is mighty and strong.
The word used for mighty means powerful, able, or strong. It implies excellence and the ability to be able to do something. In this case, speaking regarding the Lord, He can do anything– including bless a young lady’s life with the honor of carrying the Savior of the world.
Mary recognized the greatness of God, undoubtedly, prior to this moment; yet, she stated it so plainly and perfectly in her Magnificat.
The Mighty One, God the Lord, speaks and summons the earth from the rising of the sun to its setting. -Psalm 50:1 NASB
Do we recognize the mightiness of God, sister– specifically, in our own lives? Are we aware of how He is holding all the strings together, orchestrating our lives, and doing the unexpected?
#2: He is holy.
The Lord is worthy to be praised. He is exalted, perfect, and just. To revere the Lord as holy means that we recognize that there is no match to Him– no one holds the same level of majesty as He. We can’t measure up, and outside of having Jesus in our hearts, we aren’t even worthy to approach His throne.
There is no one holy like the Lord,
Indeed, there is no one besides You,
Nor is there any rock like our God. -2 Samuel 2:2 NASB
There is nothing anyone can do that would surpass what the Lord has done, continues to do, and will do for us. Like Mary in her Magnificat and Hannah’s words from 2 Samuel 2:2, both singing praises to the Lord for what He’s done in their lives related to children– see Him for who He truly is. Not only mighty and strong but the holiest of all that is holy.
#3: God raises up His humble servants.
Mary. Gideon. David.
So many others we could name in the pages of Scripture– these humble, unassuming servants who were simply caught “just doing their job.” Their job of being faithful to the Lord, believing and trusting in Him.
For the eyes of the Lord roam throughout the earth, so that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. -2 Chronicles 16:9 NASB
And, the Lord snatched them up. Not because they were mighty, great, holy, and strong. No– simply because their hearts were completely His.
He is watching us, sister. More than anything, He desires our full surrender. He doesn’t need us to rise up on our own and make a name for ourselves. In our worship of Him and obedience to Him, He will mold our lives as He wills, placing us in the situations and circumstances where we can glorify Him the most.
Glorify God: Remember He is Trustworthy
The Lord is sovereign and totally in control. We have no reason not to trust Him, yet in our flesh and our human nature, oftentimes we don’t. We all need a little help.
Fill out the form below to receive your FREE printable: Bible Verses About Trusting God. Hang it on the fridge, tape it to your mirror, tuck it in your Bible, or put it in your daily planner to remind you to trust in the Lord!
#4: He delights in doing good things for those who love Him.
The only reason we have any idea how to give good gifts to those we love is that giving good things is part of God’s character. He is in the business of not only providing for us but providing for us well.
For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
The Lord gives grace and glory;
He withholds no good thing from those who walk with integrity. -Psalm 84:11 NASB
Did you catch that, sister? He doesn’t withhold. Even if we don’t see it as good right away, or quite understand it, we can rest assured that Romans 8:28 is in fact the truth of His word, and all will turn out to be good.
#5: He gives mercy to those who fear Him.
When we place our fear– our reverence of Him– in the correct place, we gain the right perspective. We seek His face and find his goodness, grace, and character. We fall more deeply in love with Him. In Psalm 40:11, David says that God’s mercy and truth continually watch over him. God sustains those who fear Him; those who love Him.
In God’s mercy, He doesn’t give us what we deserve; instead, He gives us ultimate forgiveness and so many good things. How could we not glorify God for this alone?
Perhaps Mary wanted to sing her praises to the Lord as she thought about what lay ahead in her journey of being with child– the shame that could come; the difficulties. She knew in the deepest depths of her soul that the Lord would provide incredible grace and mercy in her life.
#6: He brings down the proud and scatters them in their own thoughts.
We know that pride goes before the fall (Proverbs 16:18). It’s a path of foolishness and provides us with the opportunity to sit on our own thrones instead of revering the Mighty One on His throne.
But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. -James 4:6 NASB
Mary was in fact a humble servant, or the Lord would not have chosen her to carry the Savior of the world. Yet, in this wonderful honor, there was plenty of space for Mary to turn to pride. After all, she was carrying the Savior of the world.
Like Mary, we should be mindful to not let pride trickle in when the Lord chooses to use us. Otherwise, we’ll get lost in our thoughts, thinking only about how great, mighty, and holy we think we are. In our prideful thoughts, we lose sight of God.
And, in our prideful minds, there is no room to glorify God.
It seems evident by what we know about the remainder of Mary’s life that this wasn’t an issue with her. I pray that it wouldn’t become an issue with us either; and if it does, I pray that we’d be swiftly torn down in order for the Lord to build us back up.
#7: He helps those who are His.
The Lord never leaves or forsakes us. No matter the circumstances, the Lord promises to be with those He loves and who love Him. He sees us through.
Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. -Psalm 33:20 NASB
When we need help, do we look to ourselves, or to the Lord? He should be our primary source of support. Instead of scurrying to manipulate our circumstances, we can be like Mary and the Psalmist and recognize that we can wait upon the Lord because He indeed is our shield and helps His people.
Mary knew she would need help from God for what she was about to experience, and in her Magnificat, she was able to express to Him that she knew He would be her help.
Do we reckon with this truth for ourselves, sister? Do we believe beyond a shadow of a doubt, that no matter what, He is our help?
“And Mary said:
“My soul exalts the Lord,
And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.”
Mary’s Magnificat can be ours too
We can glorify God just as strongly as we see in Mary’s Magnificat. Her song can be our song of praise as well. Our lives look drastically different from hers, yes, but our God is still the same. He is still mighty, holy, and strong. He still helps those He loves. He does the unexpected in our lives and delights in doing good things for us.
We don’t have to be poetic or gifted songwriters to glorify God, sister. We can glorify Him out loud for our present company to hear, as Mary did; or, we can do it within the quietness of our soul. The point is, we can and we should remember who He is at all times, and not shy away from letting our soul rejoice in that.
Praise His holy name.
Motherhood for the Glory of God
Who is on the throne in your household— you or the Lord? Oftentimes, as mothers, we make our own grand designs in our heads. We have all the plans. We’ve thought through all of the contingencies. We have all…
Oftentimes, as mothers, we make our own grand designs in our heads. We have all the plans. We’ve thought through all of the contingencies. We have all of the details laid out. Then, we sit on our mama throne, in our own little motherhood kingdom, and watch the plans unfold–
Directing paths, giving instructions, and keeping everyone on task. When all is well, great. What a happy day. But, when things don’t work out the way we’ve planned, attitudes get sour, tempers get short, and patience runs thin.
Oh, that’s just me?
Ok.
Motherhood is one of the greatest joys we’ll ever have the privilege of experiencing. It also provides us with one of the greatest opportunities to misplace our position of authority if we aren’t careful. In other words, motherhood can be done for the glory of God, or for the glory of ourselves.
It’s a thin line to tread and it’s easy to step on the wrong side. At the end of the day, as mothers, we need to ask ourselves, are we building the Lord’s kingdom, or ours?
Our Kingdom, or His?
We can’t be too careful about where we place our focus, sister. The Lord has called us to be mothers, and it’s such an important job. Great tasks call for great responsibility, especially when it comes to the little lives we have charge over.
There are so many things to do in the area of motherhood, right? Sometimes it can be hard to keep the main thing, the main thing. The Lord, in His wisdom, His care, and His love calls us to seek Him first. He knows the number one thing we need is Him, or nothing else makes sense. When we do keep Him in first place, it’s much easier to keep the right perspective.
RELATED: How to Find Rest in Motherhood
Without Him as our main focus, we can easily get busy building our own kingdom while we let God’s kingdom fall to the waste side. Our rules, our objectives, our plans, and our purposes. We can think what we’re doing with our kids is building God's kingdom, but sometimes we’re simply making sure our own little kingdom is in proper order.
As mothers, we can become comfortable within our own walls and in our own heads. So much so, that our comfortability traps us in a state of disobedience.
Yes, even if we’re doing all the right things, all the spiritual disciplines, and partaking in all the biblical parenting advice we can find. Within all of these wonderful practices, we can still be too busy maneuvering through our kingdom to be obedient.
A Lesson from the Book of Haggai
I love diving into some of the lesser-referenced books of the Bible; the book of Haggai is one of them. There are some powerful truths we can find when we take the time to study the Word and inquire of the Holy Spirit for wisdom and understanding of the message being conveyed.
Haggai was a prophet in the days when the Jewish exiles returned home after 70 years of captivity in Babylon. God used him to encourage the people to stop being complacent and comfortable in their own homes, and instead get back to rebuilding the Temple.
They needed some motivation because priorities were a little out of whack. They were focused on themselves, their own lives, and their own agendas. They labored, ran their households, and provided for their families– indeed, they weren’t idle. Yet, they weren’t doing the main thing. They were comfortable in their own little kingdoms, you could say.
Sound like anything we just talked about?
I love the Lord’s instruction to the people:
“Thus says the Lord of hosts: “Consider your ways!” ”
It’s as if the Lord is calling out: Wake up. Pay attention. Think about what you’re doing!
Is it our work, or the Lord’s work? And, even if it is for the Lord, is it what He is actually calling us to do right now, in His timing, in His way?
Kingdom Building with a Badge of Busyness
Let’s consider our ways, fellow mama.
We can inadvertently put on our badge of busyness, too physically and mentally frantic taking care of our own world to focus on what the Lord has for us. All of our sights can be set on the short-term aspects of our lives— so much so that we give very little thought to what matters long term.
You see, as mothers, we can live a life for the glory of God. We can wipe noses, change diapers, and cook meals for the glory of God. We can, and we should do all things for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 13:31).
However, sister, we should be mindful to not get lost in all of those things. Can we tend to these immediate needs without losing sight of what the Lord is calling us to do for His kingdom, big picture? Because I don’t know what you, but these immediate needs– albeit tending to them does show Christ’s love to our families– leave me exhausted by the end of the day. Sometimes, as I’m living a life focused on the daily tasks, I’m left with very little energy to set my sights on the Lord’s kingdom. It’s all about my kingdom and how I want it to run.
Maybe that’s how the people of Haggai’s day felt.
Unchecked Priorities
The Lord called for a drought on all the labors of the Jewish people’s hands (Haggai 1:11) because they did not have their priorities straight. Their walls were beautiful and comfortable, while the Lord’s Temple was left unfinished. They were focused on themselves and not the Lord.
Their priorities were not in their proper place– but not just their priorities. In fact, they lacked the fear of the Lord.
Yet, once the people feared the Lord (their reverence was in the proper place), the Lord stirred them to continue their work on the temple (Haggai 1:12-14). As Proverbs shares, we need to begin with the fear of the Lord; it is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge (Proverbs 1:7). It is the start of our trust in and obedience to God.
When we’re on our thrones, we want our children to fear us and do what we say; we want them to revere us. Until we step down from our fabricated throne, there’s no room for the Lord to be on the throne in our hearts and our households.
Kingdom Building the Better Way
And, sister, as we enter into the realm of doing the Lord’s work and will for His glory– not ours– He is faithful to step alongside us (Haggai 2:4).
RELATED: Living for the Lord on Purpose
We see this as the Jewish people in Haggai’s day began working on the Temple again. They had to leave the comfort of their homes and jettison their own priorities in order to be faithful to what the Lord wanted them to do NOW. In doing so, the Lord promised that the new Temple would be one far greater than the former; more glorious. He promised it would provide a place of peace (Haggai 2:9).
Like those God called to focus on rebuilding the Temple, we too have to give up our own agendas and be mindful that we’re carrying out the Lord’s. It may be scary. It may be exhausting. It may be so much more uncomfortable than the way we’re running our household now. But, sister, the Lord promises that His way will be one that brings peace.
His way for our families will be better than anything we could do solely through the labor of our own hands.
Put Your Reverence in the Right Place: Free Psalms Bible Study
Dive deeper into the Word and focus on God’s tremendous love for you in your motherhood journey with this 16-page Bible Study. You’ll take a look at Psalms that shout God’s faithfulness, call you to praise Him louder, and trust Him more deeply.
Warning: For the Glory of God…or Not?
At one point, the Lord prompts Haggai to ask the priests about how things become holy, unclean, and defiled. They respond by basically saying that things do not become holy merely by touch or by being in a specific place. Yet, things can be defiled by touch or presence. (Haggai 2:11-14).
What does this have to do with us– those of us who are children of God, living under grace, in Christ?
Follow me, sister. We can easily think that all is well and good in our house because we are a Christian family, or because we say we live a lifestyle that is biblical. We’re doing family devotions, quiet times before the Lord, going to church, and being mindful to train up our children biblically.
Yet, if we’re just going through the motions, doing our duties with hearts that are absent of surrender unto Him, things are not all well and good. If we aren’t being obedient to the Lord daily, yielding and submitting to His will for our lives– in the big and little things– dare I say that our disobedience “defiles” us.
It may look like we’re living for the glory of God, but really, it’s a façade because something is missing– obedience.
Our disobedience, be it ever so subtle, puts us in a position where we’re at odds with the Lord, going against His grain. The labor of our hands is not an acceptable sacrifice to Him. Or, perhaps we are walking in step with His plans, but our attitude is sour and we’re grumbling; unfortunately, that’s not a good look either!
Obedience—physically and by way of the attitude of our hearts— is better than sacrifice (1 Samuel 15:22).
But, praise God, sister, that we can please the Lord! We have the ability. Through the power of the Holy Spirit working within us, our desires can line up with the Lord’s; we can willingly surrender our throne to Him; and we can delight in Him. Motherhood can be done for the glory of God alone– by God’s grace. Let us not lose heart.
RELATED: How to Pursue Righteousness
How do we consider our ways?
When we consider our ways and are mindful to be obedient to the Lord, He will bless us. We’ll see changes in our lives and the lives of our families. But first, we need to take an honest look to determine whose throne is in our household.
Is our motherhood being lived out for the glory of God? Let us consider our ways with 7 reflective questions:
Is there an abundance of peace in our households, or continual strife?
How upset do we get when our children don’t obey every little thing?
Do we see times of disobedience as teachable moments or strictly as our children’s failure to fall in line?
Are we spending difficult moments in prayer or in frustration?
How often do we ask for the Lord’s wisdom?
Is our to-do list so pressing that it leaves no room for the Spirit’s promptings to direct us throughout the day?
Do our children understand that in parental obedience they are learning to obey the Lord? Or does the buck stop with us?
Are we willing to let God overthrow our kingdom?
He will, sister, and it’ll be for the better. Just because we aren’t sitting on our thrones anymore, doesn’t mean we have no authority. God placed us as mothers in our households and He still has important work for us to do. He simply wants us to yield to Him as the ultimate Ruler, not to hold all the power in our own hands.
Shall we let our kingdoms fall and His rise? I believe so. His is more glorious. And in His kingdom, there is peace.
More in motherhood
The Truth Behind Finding Your Purpose
There is a lot of talk in the world about finding your purpose in life. In order to find your purpose, you don’t need to look to your friends, take all the personality tests, or read all the latest self-help books. Finding your purpose in life starts with…
When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? Did you have aspirations, hopes, and dreams when you were a little girl? Is that what you’re doing now?
When I was younger, I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. It’s not that I didn’t have any high aspirations or goals, but the only thing I ever wanted to be was a mom. So when high school came around and it was time to start thinking about college and selecting a major, I struggled. I remember it felt like I just picked a major out of thin air because it sounded interesting, and because going to college and pursuing a career was what I was “supposed” to do.
That mentality put me on a course of transferring schools 3 different times and changing my major twice…all within 2 ½ years of college. From Virginia to Philly, back to my hometown in PA, you could say I spent my time on an East Coast college tour.
It wasn’t until the end of my college experience that I came to a revelation. In the Speech class I was taking, we had to do a short presentation about what we wanted to do after we graduated. I remember fumbling around with what to say because I was only thinking in terms of careers; I mean, that’s what we were there for right? It was then that I realized, that wasn’t me. That wasn’t what was on my heart and I knew if it had to be a passion I made up, it probably wasn’t real.
So I did my presentation on why I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.
That was the point that I realized how foolish the last 2 ½ years had been. I’d been walking on a path leading to nowhere instead of following something the Lord had put on my heart.
Flash forward 17 years later— and I bet you’ll never guess what I do now. ;)
I know many who are living out their childhood dreams, just as I am now blessed to stay home with my kids; and I know many more whose lives look completely different than they imagined. I’m sure you do too.
And, guess what? Both scenarios are ok.
Oftentimes we have no idea what we want in life (and I’m talking about us now, as adults!). We think we do; we think we know what’s best, and sometimes we may to a degree. But, many times what we would choose for ourselves is not what the Lord would have for us.
The key question is always, “What does the Lord have for me?”
How to Find Your Purpose
There is a lot of talk in the world about finding your purpose in life. In order to find your purpose, you don’t need to look to your friends, take all the personality tests, or read all the latest self-help books.
Finding your purpose in life starts with seeking the Lord. He is your Creator– He made you; He formed you in your mother’s womb and has all of your days fashioned (Psalm 139:16). He knows your worth, your value, and what He has planned for your life.
It starts with the Lord, sister. It begins with prayer– coming before your Heavenly Father and bearing your soul to Him.
Ask Him to reveal to you what it is that He is calling you to do. He may not give you every detail and notion and layout His entire path for you in one sitting, but He will reveal something to you. You just need to be ready to receive it and to obey, especially if it looks nothing like what you thought it would (which happens often!).
“My son, if you receive my words,
And treasure my commands within you,
So that you incline your ear to wisdom,
And apply your heart to understanding;
Yes, if you cry out for discernment,
And lift up your voice for understanding,
If you seek her as silver,
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
Then you will understand the fear of the LORD,
And find the knowledge of God. ”
your desires, or God’s?
Psalm 37:4 says that when you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. But take caution— that doesn’t mean that He’ll give you anything and everything that you desire or want.
What it means is more along the lines of this: When you seek Him and all He is with the purpose of growing deeper in your knowledge of Him, and therefore getting to know Him better, you’ll begin to delight in Him (I mean, how could you not– He is such a good God!). When you delight in Him, your heart will begin to change, the desires and plans He has for your life will become evident to you, and they will become your desires as well.
So, as a Christian woman, the question is not how to find your purpose; the question is, how to seek God more deeply so you can get to a point where you wholeheartedly delight in Him.
Seek the Lord. Pursue righteousness. Delight in Him. As He reveals His will to you, find your calling in Him, not in the world or your own will.
RELATED: How to Pursue Righteousness
A Lesson from Paul
Paul was called to preach the gospel, and he knew it. For him, it wasn’t an option– the Lord called him, and he would be obedient to do so. The word woe is an exclamation of grief. In other words, to Paul, it’d be a tragedy affecting the deepest depths of his soul to not preach the gospel.
“ For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for necessity is laid upon me; yes, woe is me if I do not preach the gospel!”
Do you feel that way about anything in life? Is there anything in your life that you feel would cause you to literally die if you don’t get to do it? For me, it’s being a mom. I always knew in the depths of my soul that I wanted to be a mom. Woe is me if I can’t be a mom.
Paul was walking in such close steps with the Lord that He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was to be preaching the gospel.
I don’t believe Paul was any more special than you are today, sister. The Lord created you as His workmanship: He has good works that He prepared for you before you were born, and He desires for you to walk in them (Ephesians 2:10).
To determine and carry out what the Lord is calling you to do, you need to use discretion, discernment, and eliminate distractions. Let’s briefly dive into each of these and see the role they play.
What is Discretion?
The general description of discretion is the right to choose what should be done in a particular situation. Biblically, discretion often goes hand-in-hand with obtaining wisdom. When we receive and properly utilize God’s wisdom, knowledge and discretion will be found in our lives (Proverbs 8:12). We’ll be able to approach a situation with God’s view in mind, and act accordingly based on His Word.
We see that the Lord used discretion in creation:
“He has made the earth by His power,
He has established the world by His wisdom,
And has stretched out the heavens at His discretion. ”
Sister, if you are seeking the Lord as we talked about, you’ll be in close communication with the Father. This means that His will for your life won’t be unobtainable knowledge floating around in some vast unknown. As you’re wrestling with knowing what the Lord is truly calling you to do, you must use discretion in the form of godly wisdom to filter out the noise.
Does what you presume to be your calling line up with the Word or does it seem to have a worldly bend to it? Will it keep you on the Lord’s path, or provide opportunities to pull away from Him? These are all things you can consider when finding your purpose.
Because discretion is one of the results of obtaining wisdom (Proverbs 8:12), you can rest assured knowing that God’s wisdom never fails. If you allow it, discretion will preserve you (Proverbs 2:11), keeping you safe as you venture into the Lord’s will for your life.
Discernment in the Bible
Then comes the path, sister— the path you take which the Lord has called you to. In order to stay on this path, faithfully doing what the Lord intends requires discernment.
Whether this path is ministry, a new job, relocation, selecting a future spouse, or school choice for your kids– you must use discernment while walking out your calling. It’s imperative.
The standard dictionary definition of discernment is the ability to judge people and things well. As we view discernment in the Bible, we see that it goes much deeper and more specifically than that.
Under the Law, one of the roles of the priests was to teach the people the difference between right and wrong; holy and unholy (Ezekiel 44:23). They were to help them to discern the difference between the world’s ways and God’s way. But for us, now living under grace, in Christ, we have the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. He then brings us spiritual discernment— day by day, moment by moment.
Sister, as you grow in the Lord, seeking Him, and spending time in the Word, you progress in spiritual maturity. Thus, your discernment grows.
“But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. ”
Without spiritual discernment, you are susceptible to falling into the world’s traps. You don’t realize what you are doing. You’re blinded and more easily engage in foolish living. You can’t distinguish between the Word of God and man’s philosophy.
Indeed, discernment is what helps you to have understanding and to walk uprightly (Proverbs 15:21).
No matter what the Lord is calling you to do, it’s folly to venture into your calling with a lack of discernment. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, you have the ability to discern good from evil, unholy from holy; fruitful from fruitless. And, this is not just in the big things, sister! In even the smallest of the “next steps” or decisions you have to make, the Spirit will guide you if let Him.
Don’t ignore Him!
When you cry out for discernment and ask for understanding, the Word says you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God (Proverbs 2:3;5).
I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a pretty good deal to me!
Eliminate Distractions and Focus on Your Calling
Distractions keep up from focusing on the Lord’s calling in our lives. The first step to eliminating distractions is to identify and acknowledge the things that are in fact distractions. Don’t waste another moment of unnecessary time, sister! Download the FREE Time Wasters Log containing easy, actionable steps to win back your time.
Fill out the form below.
Eliminate Distractions
Again sister, you’ll find a lot of information and direction from the world teaching you how to find your purpose. Just do a Google search and you’ll see. Yet, I believe two of the main reasons most people never live out their purpose are because:
Their will does not line up with God’s will. Without belief in and acceptance of Christ’s redemptive work on the cross and the Holy Spirit’s guidance, there’s no way they can be in tune with the Lord.
They decide their purpose (on their own), and additionally allow every other facet of their life and voices in the world to distract them.
Remember that story I told you about my college experience? Yup, that was a few years of being distracted!
A distraction is a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else.
A thing. Any thing.
Sister, your best attempts to serve the Lord and your best commitments to your church can be distractions if they aren’t what the Lord is calling you to do. Even if He was calling you to something during a previous season of your life, it may not still hold true now. His will for you at this moment may look differently now. This is why you must stay in constant communication with the Lord– He knows what you need and where you need to be at any given time.
Distractions don’t allow you to fully engage with the Lord as you should, and therefore you’ll likely miss what He is calling you to do.
Do you struggle to eliminate distractions in your life? I think most of us do. But it’s so important if you are to stay focused on His mission.
A few tips to eliminate distractions
#1: identify
The first thing that I’ve found to help me eliminate distractions is to first identify the distractions. We won’t get rid of them if we don’t see them as distractions, right?! Take an honest look at your life— what frivolous things are you doing that waste your time?
#2: evaluate
Evaluate your personal screen time. TV, social media, or games on your phone can be huge distractions if done too much. I don’t mean to sound harsh, sister, but if you never miss a beat on your Facebook feed but find it difficult to have a daily quiet time with God, you’re distracted.
#3: ask got for his viewpoint
Ask God to point out any good things that you may not initially view as distractions. This could be in the form of areas where you’re serving or certain relationships you have. Your heart and intentions may be pure and you’re likely doing a really good thing— yet, if it’s not what the Lord has for you at this time, it’s distracting you from His will for your life right now.
#4: pray for protection
Pray and ask the Lord to help you to keep distractions at bay. You can’t do it in your own strength! Distractions have a way of looking shiny and enticing. Let God help you stay focused.
#5: seek the lord
Seek God for His will for you now. Once your major distractions are out of the way you’ll be able to see more clearly what He wants you to do. Again, “finding your purpose in life” as they say, only comes in Him and through Him. So step one is always seeking the Lord.
You’re Called for a Purpose
You are a woman created on purpose, sister! Don’t forget that. You were created on purpose, yes, but the Lord also has a purpose in mind for you. Don’t miss it. He wants to reveal it to you, and He wants you to continually seek Him and be aware of when He’s telling you to transition from one season to the next.
Although yes, I am a stay-at-home mom, I wasn’t always. I worked full-time for a good 13 or 14 years (and became a mom during that time) before staying home. My working career brought me many blessings and taught me numerous skills that I now use in ministry and in writing this blog. So it served a purpose the Lord had in my life… for that time.
But when the season changed and He called me to stay home, that’s what needed to happen. He has different plans for me in this season, and I need to stay in tune with Him so I’m always aware.
Sister, His purposes for your life may not look the same in each season, but God is the same. He doesn’t change. And, He will be faithful to carry you through and guide you as you remain faithful to Him.
So, join me in spending less time seeking your purpose in life, and instead— just seek God. That’s where all the answers are found.
more encouragement in christian living
Separating Darkness from Light in Our Faith
When it’s dark by 5:30 pm…ugh. This is my least favorite time of year. I love living in a part of the world that has a full array of all four seasons, but I must admit…
When it’s dark by 5:30 P.M.…ugh. This is my least favorite time of year. I love living in a part of the world that has a full array of all four seasons, but I must admit: once Daylight Savings Time hits late fall, I dread the early darkness. There is something about darkness that is just so…dark.
The evening seems to fast-forward, making it feel later than the clock foretells. The lack of sunshines changes moods. The winter air seems a bit colder. Things are just a little more bleak.
Maybe I don’t like the dark because I’m not much of a night owl (although, getting up super early this time of year means I’m greeted by darkness too!). Or maybe, it’s because the darkness outside reminds me of the darkness within.
The sins that still ensnare. The negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions that creep in when I let them. The darkness of the hearts in the world at large. The reality that, without Christ, things are just…dark.
And sister, if we’re being honest– sometimes even with Christ, we still allow ourselves to step back into darkness.
It’s not His fault; He is the Light of the world, the light of life (John 8:12). But when things are a little less cheerful and sun-shiny, and when we’re feeling the weight of the dark world on our shoulders, we can allow ourselves to forsake the light He so freely gives and wants to radiate from us.
When we accepted His free gift of salvation, He immediately brought us from darkness to light. So, let’s not turn back.
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Moving from darkness to light is an important aspect of our walk with the Lord. Let’s chat about 5 truths of the reality of light and darkness in our Christian faith.
#1: we should Separate from Darkness.
Light.
The first recorded words of God in the very beginning. His proclamation that light shall be, and it was. Not only did He see that it was good, but the Word says that He separated it from darkness.
“Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness.”
God’s light brings us life, which is where He wants us to be– in His light, separated from the darkness. He provides a way for us to do so when we abide in Him (John 15:4-5). When we do this, we bear good fruit and draw from the well of His strength.
We can use His wisdom and our good sense to separate ourselves from darkness in our everyday lives. Being careful not to engage with worldly things that contradict the Word of God, being mindful of what we’re watching and listening to, and being wise about the company we keep are all ways that we can do our part to not purposely engage in darkness.
When we are truly abiding in Him– moment by moment– darkness cannot overcome us because He is the Light.
#2: we must Recognize the Light.
Moving from darkness to light and back to darkness can happen so easily. We let our guard down. We aren’t mindful of our company (1 Corinthians 15:33). We allow negative thoughts into our minds.
“For it is You who light my lamp; the LORD my God lightens my darkness. ”
All of the above is true, but let’s be real: the main reason the darkness becomes so enticing is that we forget who the Light is. It’s not us. We lose focus of the One who brings the light in the first place; the One who sparks the light within us.
Let’s not try to do this on our own, sister. We don’t have to work extra hard to stay out of the darkness– we just need to remember that it is the Lord who lightens our darkness and to step out of the way and allow Him to do so.
Here’s what I mean: Just the other day I was trying to put something together, and out of nowhere, darkness set in. By “out of nowhere”, I mean my eldest son stepped in between the object and my light source.
In the darkness, it was harder to see and to function. The task became that much more difficult.
And so goes our life, sister.
As He lights our paths, let’s be sure to step out of the way so we don’t block His light. He won’t force us out of the way. He loves us too much to make us His puppets. Sister, He wants you and me to willingly and wholeheartedly recognize Him for who He is and what He can do in our lives, and to follow His guidance. Life is oh so much harder when we get in His way.
#3: WE NEED TO Walk in the Light.
“For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.”
In our newness of life, our life in Christ, we have the power, ability, and desire to walk in His ways. In an instant, He delivered our souls from death. Continually, He is willing and able to keep our feet from falling. As we move from darkness to light, it’s our choice, sister, to walk with Him in this newness of life.
You see, we can be easily distracted by looking to the left or the right and therefore choose to step off His path. Oftentimes, it’s easier to do this than to stay the course. We must ask for wisdom to faithfully choose Him– to seek Him, draw closer to Him, and do His will. Without His wisdom, walking in the light 100% of the time is impossible.
Make time for God, seek Him diligently, and abide in Him, sister. There’s no greater place to be.
ABIDE in His Light: FREE STUDY TOOLS
Spending time in His Word daily is the best way to ensure that we’re drawing closer to Him and walking in His light. Download your free set of Bible study printables to guide you in your study of the Light of the World. Fill out the form below.
As we spend time in His Word, let’s not just read through the text as if it’s a novel. Let’s take time to truly STUDY! I like to have a good set of Bible pens and a journal to jot down verses to stick out to me. Maybe you’ll like the ones I use?
#4: He is Still Present in the Darkness.
But what about when we’re going through hard times? When our life circumstances weigh on us, cause anxiety and stress, and rob us of our joy?
The darkness encompasses us at these moments. It surrounds us, drowns out any flickers of light, and seems heavier than we can bear. Yes, darkness bears weight.
But God.
“When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.”
He is still there! He’s present with us in the darkness we face, and He still provides the light. Sister, we just have to choose to take hold of it. It may take more effort to peer through the black, and the light may seem forever dim to us, but trust that His light does not flicker nor fade.
It is often said that darkness is the absence of light. Yet, the Lord is ever-present and always with us. So even in our dark times, He is not absent. We just have to choose to recognize Him and want to see His light shine. His light always pierces through the darkness.
Light always wins.
#5: God is Bigger Than Any Darkness.
Let’s just tell it like it is sister— darkness has nothing on the Lord! He is bigger than it all. He is God over ALL. Darkness does not frighten Him. It doesn’t drown Him out. It doesn’t make it harder for Him to see, function, or guide us.
“Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.”
He is our ultimate night-vision goggles.
Realize that in Him, we have nothing to fear, even in our darkness. He knows the beginning from the end, and therefore darkness and light, night and day are equally clear. Our job is to trust Him and rely on Him. His hand is out, ready to lead us where He wants us to go.
Will You Go?
Which way will you go, sister? As you move from darkness to light, will you allow the Light of the World to lead you, whether through the dark times or even during your brightest of days? What will it be?
Remember that in God, there is no darkness at all (1 John 1:5). Join me in abiding in Him, sister– in His light, His love, and His ability to sustain us, lead us, and guide us. So even though it’s 5:30 pm in December, grab your sunglasses. Where He is, it’s always gloriously bright.
The Comparisons of a Christian Woman
Comparisons. There are opportunities all around us– all the time. All day, every day. But, is comparing yourself to others a good thing, sister? Whether you’re…
The mother in the school pick-up line. The new mom whose photo on Instagram flaunts the fact that she is back to her pre-baby weight. The kids who are reading two grade levels ahead of yours. And, the kids who are running amuck in the clothing store and you’re glad they’re not yours.
Comparisons.
There are opportunities all around us– all the time. All day, every day. But, is comparing yourself to others a good thing, sister?
Whether you’re the victim or the hero of the comparison, coming to a mental space where you can stop comparing yourself to others is monumental in your walk with the Lord.
While we can think it’s trivial or even insignificant to compare, and that it leads to little or no repercussions, the Word of God paints a different truth for us.
Sister, you are made in the image of God, handcrafted by God, His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10 ESV).
So– if all of that is true, then you should know, trust, and believe that God did not make any mistakes making you, you. He not only has specific purposes and plans for you, but also specific works for which you were specially created to walk out.
Therefore, it’s unfruitful to compare because your hand-crafted path is your path, and not for anyone but you. That also means that others’ paths are not for you either, right?
The Dangers of Comparing Yourself to Others
We are fearfully and wonderfully made by our creative, powerful, all-knowing God. He has made each of us according to His omniscience and will. He doesn’t make mistakes.
We can rest in that.
Comparing yourself to others never brings about the joy and happiness that so many seek for their lives. We know this before we start playing the game, yet we still end up playing, expecting different results. Or, perhaps it's just a habit.
Based on my personal experience, I've noticed that comparisons can lead to a few unfruitful attitudes that harm our walk with the Lord:
Discontentment
1 Timothy 6:6 tells us that contentment should accompany godliness, and when it does, it proves to be a great gain. Why? Because all we have comes from the Lord, and when we realize this truth, we focus more on His goodness and His provision– not on what we don't have (which becomes so clear when all we do is compare!).
It's so easy to be unhappy with our own life when we compare it with the life of someone who seems to be doing better than us. Yet, when we are mindful to look to Jesus, seek His will for our life, and realize that in His omniscience He gives to each one of us as He wills, we can know, trust, and believe that our life is what He desires for it to be.
In short: The Lord’s goal for us isn’t happiness. Seeking the Lord and His will leads to contentment in Him. Comparisons lead to discontentment.
Pride
Yes, pride. For most, thoughts of comparing yourself to others come from the perspective of seeing others as greater. However, there are always two sides to a coin.
Comparisons can lead to a sense of pride when we view our life, situation, or circumstances as the greater one (or maybe pride was already there, and the comparisons just made it come to light).
“For who considers you as superior? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it? ”
We live in a world where people believe they are gods of their own information, thoughts, and opinions. If someone doesn't agree with their viewpoint, there is a sense of arrogance and pride that ensues. Many believe that the only “truth” that exists is what their opinion represents.
But, we have no right to consider ourselves superior to others. We have no room to boast unless we are boasting in the Lord, for He has given us everything (1 Corinthians 4:7). He is the Truth– not our thoughts and opinions.
Comparisons put us in a place where we're only thinking about ourselves, either positively (pride), or negatively (discontentment), and not thinking about Jesus.
Envy
Sister, when we don’t rest in the fact that God has given us His best for our lives in His creation of us, it’s easy to long for something “more.” More wealth, more beauty, more followers, more status. But God’s Word tells us in James 3:16 that disorder and every evil thing come from jealousy and selfish ambition.
This envy begins in our hearts, manifests in our thoughts, words, and attitudes, and then seeps out into our environment. Envy is felt like tension, so thick you can cut it with a proverbial knife. It’s not good, sister.
Again, we know this, but when we’re stuck in the mindset of comparing ourselves to others, it’s the “natural” route to take.
But oftentimes, the Lord’s ways are not what seems natural. It’s not the easy route. Focusing on Jesus can be more challenging than focusing on all of the tangible things we see right in front of us.
However, it’s necessary. Our walk only keeps to the Lord’s path if we walk in the Lord’s ways. He directs our steps and lights our path for a reason. We only stumble when we step off the path.
Reasons to stop comparing yourself to others
There are so many reasons why comparing is not good, but let’s focus on these two really big ones. When we’re stuck in the habit of comparing ourselves to others, there’s not a lot of room left to see our lives through His eyes. And here’s what the Lord desires for us to remember:
We don’t exist to please people.
We’re indeed to be a light in this dark world and serve people, but in doing so, the intention of our hearts should not be to please people.
If it is, then we’re doing it for the wrong reasons.
We exist to be a bondservant of Christ, living to please Him. If we’re constantly seeking to please other people and find favor in their eyes, they’ve become our god and we’ve become their bond-servants, not Christ’s (Galatians 1:10).
We only need to look to Jesus as our standard.
Hebrews 12:2 calls Jesus the “author (or originator) and perfecter of our faith. If it is from Him and through Him and to Him that all things flow, including our faith, then why do we take our eyes off of Him so often, and let others trip us up? We know that if we’re running a race, the blinders must stay on— we shouldn’t run while looking in the stands or on the sidelines to see what else is going on. Yet, our Christian walk consists of this mistake so often.
We see the beautiful photos highlighting what this mom did with her kid last week. We sit and contemplate what that mom’s little did at this morning’s playgroup. We wonder why the mom at the grocery store had angelic children who walked quietly at her side, while ours ran up and down the aisles. Or, we think, “so glad that’s not my child” when we see a mom with a screaming toddler waiting in the checkout line.
All of these mental antics are evidence we are playing the comparison game, sister. We are letting the obstacles and the sin which so easily ensnares us trip us up (Hebrews 12:-1) because we’re focused on the sidelines.
And, do you notice that Jesus’s name isn't a part of any of these scenarios? None of the above had anything to do with the One who holds us all together.
That's because when you're comparing yourself to others you're not thinking about Jesus.
He and He alone is our standard. We look to Him for our decisions in how we raise our children and carry out the gift we've been given as mothers.
Let's be mindful to remember that, as the Author of our faith, what He has for us and our child is what He has for us– even if it looks drastically different than the life of the mom next door. No two faith walks and journeys through motherhood will look the same– so we need to stop expecting it to.
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: 5 Practical Tips
When you’re mindful to keep your eyes on the Lord, and not everyone else, major things can happen. Here are a few practical ways you can do so.
#1: Focus on the Word of God.
Make time for God. Spend time studying the Bible and growing in your walk with Him. As you study the Word, you grow in His wisdom and gain a perspective in life that truly matters– His perspective. Focus more on who He is, and less time on who you think you should be.
#2: Read Ephesians 2.
How often do you think about who you are in Christ? I know the world wants you to think about whether or not we’re following the latest fashion trend and if the lighting for your last selfie was good enough. But body types and beauty standards don’t define you. Christ does. His definitions for you trump all hashtags on your social feeds. Grab your Bible and read His Words so you don’t fall for the lies.
RELATED: Modern-Day Idols That Trip Us Up
#3: Trust God for your contentment.
As Paul says in Philippians 4:11-12, you too can be content, no matter your circumstances. Remember, it is the Lord who supplies you with all you need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), and gives you things for your enjoyment (1 Timothy 6:17). You need to look no further than Him. And, sister– you don’t have to strive for it. He freely blesses those who trust and rely on Him. You may not have everything you want, but rest assured, in Him, you have everything you need.
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#4: Live for Christ.
When you live a life that is in constant communication with the Lord, yielding to the Spirit’s promptings and work in your life, you’ll remain on the right path. Your mind will be focused on His plans and purposes for you, so much so that it’ll be as if you have spiritual blinders blocking your peripheral vision. You’ll be forward-focused, not allowing the world’s ways to infiltrate you from the side.
This is what I mean by you being a woman created on purpose. You know that you were not only created on purpose, but that your heart, soul, and mind are set on the purpose He has for you– and you are determined to walk in it.
#5: Take a break from social media…
…or remove it from your life altogether! Social media just shares the highlights of others’ lives– every day doesn’t look like that for them. You know this, yet it’s still easy to get caught up in comparing your worst to someone else’s best.
“A woman created on purpose has her heart, soul, and mind set on the purpose He has for her– and she is determined to walk in it.”
You are fearfully and wonderfully made, sister!
There’s no need to feel that you must be anything other than what God wants for you. There’s no “better path” than the one the Lord has for you. Allow Him to guide you. Trust in Him, not in your own understanding or perspective of the situation. Live life to glorify Him and Him alone. His way is enough.
RELATED: How to See the Lord How He Sees You
Bible verses about comparison
Not only are there numerous Bible verses about comparison, but if we read closely, we’ll find the truth in why there just simply is no need to do so. The Lord has better things for us. He didn’t create each of us individually unique so that we could spend our time focused on why we’re better than her, or she’s better than us.
He created us differently because He is a creative God, and He wants us to see the many facets of who He is through all aspects of His creation.
Here are a few more verses about comparison, and I encourage you to comb the Scriptures for more truth about the dangers of comparing yourself to others.
But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting, but to himself alone, and not to another. For each one will bear his own load. -Galatians 6:4-5 NASB
For we do not presume to rank or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they have no understanding. -2 Corinthians 10:12 NASB
Do not judge, so that you will not be judged. -Matthew 7:1 NASB
Jesus said to him, “If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!” -John 21:22 NASB
you may also like to read:
5 Astonishing Things That Happen When We Seek God
Seeking God isn’t a game. It’s a decision on our part that affects the trajectory of our lives on a daily basis. The Lord knows the beginning and the end. He has…
Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. That means if you click the link and make a purchase, I receive a small commission. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. This is at no extra cost to you, but it helps me to further serve you in your walk with the Lord!
…6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…ready or not, here I come!
Didn’t you love a good game of Hide and Seek when you were a kid? I know I did. I remember liking the hiding part much better than being the seeker, however. Seeking was more difficult, took more time, energy, and wits— especially if I was up against good hiders. And, each game seemed to have its equal share of skillful hiders, and poor hiders.
The thrill of the game always came when everyone was found. No one wanted to be found, of course, but the seeker always did all he or she could to find the hiders. As a seeker, you couldn’t hold back or give up– otherwise, you’d be left wandering around for quite some time!
I recently heard someone share a memory of a time she played hide and seek with some sports teammates. A good game turned sour as she, the seeker, was left alone outside for over an hour because unbeknownst to her, the hiders had decided to forsake the game and go inside to watch TV.
Despite her best efforts and her persistence, she didn’t find the hiders because they were no longer hiding; they did not want to be found. Even though she tried her hardest, they didn’t care whether she found them or not.
Sister– this is not our God.
God calls us to seek Him, but He isn’t hiding. He doesn’t call us to come and find Him, yet change locations or change the rules of the game. He wants nothing more than to be found by His beloved.
The Importance of Seeking God
Seeking God isn’t a game. It’s a decision on our part that affects the trajectory of our lives on a daily basis. The Lord knows the beginning and the end. He has the strength, knowledge, and power that we do not.
When we seek God, we’re able to fully tap into the wisdom and power that He so freely wants to display through us. When we choose to do things on our own, we easily fail; or worse– we succeed, but He gets none of the glory.
One thing we can clearly see when studying the Bible is that there are those who seek God, rely on Him, and do right in the eyes of the Lord; and, there are those who don’t. But, more deeply relatable than that are the countless biblical figures who lived their lives as a mix of both– sometimes seeking, sometimes neglecting.
I think we all fall somewhere along those lines, right, sister?
One such person is Asa. The account of his story that I’ll reference can be found in 2 Chronicles 14-16. Before diving into the rest of this article, I’d encourage you to open your Bible and read it so you can follow along with my observations.
What happens when we seek God?
Asa was king over the southern kingdom of Israel, namely, Judah. He was Solomon’s great-grandson. 2 Chronicles 14:2 and 1 Kings 15:11 says he did right in the sight of the Lord. As we’ll see, Asa spent many years of his reign seeking God.
The Bible promises that when we seek God with all of our hearts and souls, we will find Him (Deuteronomy 4:29).
So, what does finding Him look like?
Looking through the lens of King Asa’s reign, here are a few things that happen when we seek God:
#1: We live righteously.
(2 Chronicles 14:3-5)
Seeking God puts us in a position to have a strong desire to do what is right, removing the things from our lives that the Lord hates. We pursue righteousness. We see that Asa removed the altars, pillars, and anything leading to the worship of idols. His heart was devoted to the Lord, and he wanted his people to do the same.
When we seek God, we desire to honor Him in our actions. Not only did Asa remove the places of idol worship, but he also restored the altar of the Lord (2 Chronicles 15:8) and commanded the people of Judah to keep the law and seek God (2 Chronicles 14:4).
RELATED: HOW TO PURSUE RIGHTEOUSNESS
#2: We encourage others to seek God.
(2 Chronicles 14:4)
When our heart is rightly turned towards and devoted to the Lord, we desire for those in our midst to do the same. Seeking God allows us to see more clearly His majesty, wisdom, and faithfulness. How could we not want others to experience these things as well?
Asa knew that seeking God was in the people’s best interest. Keeping the law wasn’t a way to punish them; it was God’s way of protecting them.
#3: The Lord gives us rest.
(2 Chronicles 14:6-7)
Chapter 14 verse 7 tells us that because the people of Judah sought God, He gave them rest. You see, sister, there is safety under the shadow of His wings. There is protection in His presence and in His will. We just have to seek it; seek HIM.
I believe that many times we’re stressed, frazzled, and weary because we’re trying to fix our own circumstances instead of relying on the Lord. In these times, we must seek Him. When we look for Him, He will be found, bringing us clarity, comfort, and wisdom for what we’re facing.
We’ll find the peace of God, and in that peace, we find rest.
#4: Our trust in Him grows.
(2 Chronicles 14:11)
Did you ever play dodgeball? Have you ever been the last one standing on your team, and you’re up against 3-4 players from the other side? As they all face you with balls ready to launch, it kind of feels like “you against the world”, does it not? They clearly have the advantage over you, and there are just a handful of tactics you can implement to ensure a win for your team.
Well, King Asa faced a very real “dodgeball” moment in his reign. An Ethiopian army with one million men came up against him and his men in Judah. Asa’s army was half the size. He could have given up or retreated, being afraid. Yet, he called out to the Lord for help.
“LORD, there is no one besides You to help in the battle between the powerful and those who have no strength; help us, LORD our God, for we trust in You, and in Your name have come against this multitude. LORD, You are our God; do not let man prevail against You.”
Because Asa had practiced seeking God, he not only had an accurate view of the Lord’s strength and power, but also his own weakness and dependence. Asa knew it would only be by the Lord’s hand that they’d secure a victory over this huge army. He put his full trust in the Lord, and allowed God to work.
#5: We help others see God’s faithfulness.
(2 Chronicles 15:9)
Asa was king over Judah, the southern kingdom of Israel (read more about Israel’s northern and southern kingdoms during that time, here). Yet, verse 9 tells us that many from Ephraim, Manasseh, and Simeon resided with them, for many defected to him from Israel when they saw that the Lord his God was with him.
The fact that King Asa was doing what was right in the eyes of the Lord drew others to his side of the fence. They saw that Asa not only sought the Lord, but he also chose to abide in the Lord as well, drawing strength and discernment from Him in the way he reformed the land.
And, the same is true for us. When we follow the Lord with conviction and boldness, being faithful to what He is calling us to do, others notice. They see our commitment to Him and His ways, and our commitment to living a lifestyle that glorifies Him— and they can’t help but to come along for the ride.
People don’t want to see a “one foot in, one foot out” kind of faith. When we show them we’re all in for Jesus, it helps them believe that this God we follow is also all in for us.
SEEK GOD & HIS FAITHFULNESS IN THE PSALMS
So many truths about the Lord can be found in the Psalms. Dive deeper into the Word and focus on God’s tremendous love for you in this 16-page Bible Study of the Psalms. Fill out the form below.
A warning: When we don’t seek God
(2 Chronicles 16)
But sister, as we continue to read Asa’s account, there’s a warning here, and it goes like this:
When we don’t continue to seek God, bad things happen.
Because of Asa’s faithfulness to the Lord, God gave him rest until the 35th year of his reign. But, in his 36th year, King Baasha of Israel makes moves against Judah. Instead of trusting in God and calling out to Him as Asa did with the Ethiopian army (2 Chronicles 14:11), he relies on a foreign land to help him win.
He bribes this foreign land with treasures from the Lord’s house, convinces them to break their treaty with Israel, and to instead make a treaty with Judah (2 Chronicles 16:2-3). His plan is a success, and this foreign land helps him overcome Israel.
That’s great right? No, definitely not.
Asa and the people of Judah (as well as those who came from various places in the northern kingdom) had entered into the convent with the Lord during his 15th year of reign. They vowed to rely on and seek God— not just one time, but always.
Yet, here we see Asa calling out to another man instead of calling out to God. He chose to put the people’s safety and trust into the hand of another king, not the King of kings.
And for this grave mistake, something bad happened; not just during that war (2 Chronicles 16:7), but something that would be ongoing.
“For the eyes of the LORD roam throughout the earth, so that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will have wars. ”
The Lord would take away Asa’s rest.
The rest that came because he chose to seek God would now be gone, due to the fact that he forsook his commitment to seeking God (2 Chronicles 16:9). Asa’s reign would from then on be sprinkled with wars.
Purpose to Seek God, sister!
The Lord is searching for us. He desires to strongly support us. Will we be found as one whose heart is completely His?
Will we abide in Him continually, or will we take matters into our own hands?
We can see in Asa’s life that there is a clear distinction between seeking God, and relying on ourselves or others. Even at the end of his life, as he lay with a disease, he again chose not to seek God— and he died.
Sister, once we get into the habit of not seeking God, it becomes easier and easier to do.
Thankfully, the other side of the coin is just as true. If we are mindful to put the Lord first in our decisions and actions, calling out to Him amidst our troubles, we’ll seek Him. And as we continue to see His faithfulness towards us, it gets easier and easier to place our trust in Him each time in the future.
I exhort you, sister, above all else— seek Him.
Seek His Word, His truth, and all that He is.
Purpose to know Him.
The more you know the Lord, the more you'll yearn to please Him, and not yourself. In pleasing God, you will see just how pleasing He is to you.
Our God is not hiding. He wants to be found. He wants to be known by you. So sister, don’t hide from Him. Let Him find you in a place where you are searching for Him.
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Bible verses about Seeking God
Here’s some extra encouragement! Allow these Bible verses about seeking God to remind you of His promises toward those who diligently look for Him and trust Him.
The LORD looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God. -Psalm 14:2 (ESV)
But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find Him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul. -Deuteronomy 4:29 (ESV)
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. -Psalm 63:1 (ESV)
Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice! Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually! -1 Chronicles 16:10-11 (ESV)
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. -Hebrews 11:6 (ESV)
An Evening Routine that Honors the Lord
Maybe for you, the night is your time to shine. You’re perky, peppy, and love burning the midnight oil. If so, then creating a God-honoring nighttime routine will…
Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. That means if you click the link and make a purchase, I receive a small commission. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. This is at no extra cost to you, but it helps me to further serve you in your walk with the Lord!
One of my favorite things about summer on the East Coast of the US is that the sun stays out until almost 9:00 PM. Yes, I love that long light. I love the nighttime darkness that just doesn’t seem to want to come. Even though it makes it tough to put the little ones to bed because it’s “still daytime,” I enjoy it.
While there are many things about fall that stir my heart to happiness, I don’t look forward to the sun getting low before 7:00 PM. As the nights get longer and longer, darkness fills the streets and our homes for what seems to be an infinite number of hours each day, pushing the sun away harder and harder as we slide into the winter months.
Yes, I’m being a bit dramatic. But honestly, darkness just isn’t my thing— not the literal darkness that comes with the absence of daytime light, and not the sinful darkness that comes with the absence of the Light.
You get my drift, sister?
This darkness sweeps in and tends to stay for a visit much longer the more we forsake our quiet time with God. Spending time with the Lord each day in prayer and through studying the Bible is key. It’s what keeps our hearts in the right place, humbly bowed before Him and having a proper perspective of ourselves and the world.
Even in the darkness of night, you can still dwell in the Light.
Maybe for you, the night is your time to shine. You’re perky, peppy, and love burning the midnight oil. If so, then creating a God-honoring nighttime routine will help you grow in your faith and remain close to the Lord.
If a Morning Routine or an Afternoon Routine isn’t for you, let’s talk about the way the Lord can work in the hearts of you night owls.
How to Prepare for your Quiet Time with God
Before jumping into a new routine, especially one as crucial as your quiet time with God, it’s best to seek the Lord to determine all He has for you. Walking into anything in your own strength leads to doubts, struggles, and low commitment levels. Trust me, I’ve been there– I know!
There are a few things we can do to help us prepare for our quiet time with God:
#1: PRAY and ask the Lord to help you be consistent in your schedule.
Is the evening really the time of day the Lord wants you to have your quiet time? If so, ask Him to help you block off your schedule and commit. A wishy-washy commitment to Him equals a wishy-washy faith.
#2: FIND A specific TIME THAT WORKS FOR YOU.
Since the evening is the last portion of the day, it truly is now or never. If you’ve gone all day without cracking open your Bible and spending time in the Word, the evening is your last shot. Pray and ask God for a specific and exact time in your schedule each day for your quiet time.
#3: PICK A SPECIAL SPOT in your house to study the Word.
As I shared in my Morning Routine and Afternoon Routine articles, whether it’s a favorite chair or a quiet room, selecting a place where you have your quiet time with God each day helps you stay consistent. After a while, this place will mentally become synonymous with your quiet time.
Does that sound silly? Well, think of your workplace or your laundry room. As soon as you step into that building or room, you know exactly what you’re supposed to do there because that’s the main thing you always do in that particular place. It’s the same way with your “quiet time place.” Soon, you won’t be able to walk by that couch, coffee shop, or desk without the gentle reminder that it’s time for quiet time.
What Studying the Bible Does for Us
Studying the Bible is more than just an item we check off of our to-do list. It’s an important, crucial, and necessary spiritual discipline every believer should have. No matter the season of life we’re in, we can never—let me repeat, sister— never be too busy to read God’s Word.
I shared the importance of reading God’s Word in my Morning Routine and Afternoon Routine articles. If you missed that, take a look at those articles:
READ: A Morning Routine that Honors the Lord
READ: An Afternoon Routine that Honors the Lord
But now, let’s take a moment to focus on a few things that studying the Bible does for us, through the lens of Proverbs 6.
“My son, comply with the commandment of your father,
And do not ignore the teaching of your mother;
Bind them continually on your heart;
Tie them around your neck.
When you walk, they will guide you;
When you sleep, they will watch over you;
And when you awake, they will talk to you.
For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light;
And rebukes for discipline are the way of life.”
Firstly, there is an urgency and persistence we see being given. We are to be sure to not only comply, or keep, the commands, but to also be mindful that we are not blatantly ignoring the Word. We should hear the Word, and keep it.
And not just keep it, but to continually bind it on our hearts. Continually.
The only way something gets imprinted on our hearts is for us to be exposed to it over and over. There is a repetitive process that must happen so that the Word becomes ingrained and interwoven into the fabric of our lives.
This is what studying the Bible does for us. And when we do so, God’s Word permeates our being, bringing us more clarity, perspective, and direction than we could ever muster up for ourselves.
God’s Word guides us as we walk through the trials, decisions, contemplations, and joys of life. We’re able to discern God’s promises from the world’s ways when we have an accurate view and knowledge of who He is.
The Word of God keeps us as we sleep, providing the peace that only Jesus can give us. There is less room for fear, doubt, and anxiety when the Word is bound in our hearts.
When we’re awake, God’s Word speaks to us from the depths of our souls, making plain His Will versus the world’s devices and deception. The Holy Spirit will bring specific verses to mind in our time of need. He will remind us of God’s promises, faithfulness, and wisdom in the little and big things of life.
God’s Word is always ready to light our path, showing us the way to go.
Yet, when we forsake studying the Bible regularly, we allow this light to go dim. We quench the Holy Spirit more easily. We have less peace and more doubt. We lead ourselves. All of these things happen because, even if it’s just for a moment, we’ve forgotten who He is.
10 Steps to a Quiet Time with God in the Evening
In our quiet time with God, as we pray and study, we will be drawn closer to Him. This is something to take seriously, and I exhort you, sister, to find a time of day—daily— that works for you!
If it’s the evening, here are some tips to help you get started.
#1: Put your scheduled time in your calendar every night.
Set up a calendar reminder or alarm, if needed. If you know you have an event happening during your normal quiet time, plan in advance to have your quiet time earlier in the day.
#2: commit to keeping your scheduled time, no matter how tired you are.
Know you are going to have busy, eventful days that tire you out. But, God doesn’t deserve your leftovers. Give Him the time, energy, and commitment of which He is worthy! Reserve some energy for your Lord.
#3: Realize this isn’t legalism.
Although your quiet time with God is undeniably the most important piece of your day, give yourself a little grace. If you miss it or have to cut the time short, remember that the Lord isn’t angry with you. Just purpose to do better in your planning tomorrow.
#4: Wait until the kiddos are off to bed and the house is quieter.
I don’t know about yours, but my kids don’t exactly put the “quiet” in quiet time! If you want to be able to study the Bible with little distraction, pick a time where you can truly relax in the quietness of your home.
RELATED: 22 Ways to Make Time for God as Busy Mom
#5: Know your limit.
Even though you’re likely a night owl, at some point, dear sister, I know tiredness kicks in and you’ve had enough for the day. If you tend to crash quickly once exhaustion sets in, purpose to not make your quiet time the very last thing you do before bedtime. The last thing you want is to fall asleep in your Bible every night before you’ve really gotten to soak up the Word.
#6: Communicate with your spouse.
If you’re married, and this is a time you regularly spend catching up with your spouse, be sure to talk to him before making a change to your “married couple” time. Find something that works for both of you.
#7: Prepare your study tools earlier in the day.
The better prepared you are beforehand, the more likely you will complete the task at hand (this goes for anything!). If you have to scurry around at night looking for your things when you’re already getting tired, the less time you’ll spend before the Lord. Grab your Bible, pens, journal, or whatever you need early in the day, and place them in your designated quiet time spot so you’re ready to go.
FLOURISH DURING YOUR EVENING QUIET TIME WITH GOD
Looking for a place to start in your Bible study time? Dive deeper into the Word and focus on God’s tremendous love for you in this 16-page Bible Study of the Psalms. Fill out the form below.
#8: Turn off the screens!
Unless you’re using a Bible app on your phone for study references, try to keep your phone, computer, and TV out of sight! It can be tempting to wind down at night via screen time, but leave the social media scrolling and TV show-binging until after your quiet time with God is concluded.
RELATED: 5 Surprising Ways Moms Waste Time
#9: Pray before you start.
No matter what time of day, pray and ask the Lord to reveal to you more of Himself in your time together. Ask for minimal distractions, and a heart to stay as focused as possible on Him and His Word.
#10: Let go of the day.
There are probably tasks you felt you needed to do earlier in the day that you didn’t get to. Let them all go. Don’t allow the never-ending items on your to-do list to cloud your time with the Lord. There will always be something to do, work on, or complete. Follow the Lord’s leading and keep the most important thing, the most important thing.
“But his delight is in the Law of the Lord, and on His Law he meditates day and night.”
Sleep Tight, Sister
We can keep the Lord the main focus of our lives, no matter what time of day we set aside to commune with Him. He never sleeps nor slumbers (Psalm 121:3), and He is always ready to welcome you into His presence. No matter how weary you are, how your day went, or how bright-eyed and energetic you may be at 10:00 PM, He wants to hear from you. Bask in the Lord and His goodness. Allow His Word to strengthen you, gently lead you, and give you the peace you need for a restful sleep. When you rest in the safety of His care and under the shadow of His wings, you will surely sleep tight.
4 Impeccable Accessories for Every Christian Woman
When we think about our Christian character, we think about who we are in Christ. We are a new creation in Him, and our old ways, characteristics, traits, thoughts, and mannerisms are…
I must admit— I’m not the fanciest or trendiest person. I like to keep up as best I can, but you likely won’t see me rocking the latest style jeans, dresses, sweaters, or fill-in-the-blank. Being an Instagram-worthy fashionista is just a little bit daunting to me.
But, even if my cute sweaters are a little too “last season”, throwing on the right accessories kind of distracts from that a bit, am I right? I can put on some eye-catching earrings, a belt, or fancy shoes and give an old outfit a new look.
Accessories can heighten and change the look of almost any outfit— in or out of style.
So it is with our Christian character. While the Lord calls us to put on some new things once we become a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) and we are walking in His light— just like with our fashion— there needs to be a constant putting on of these things, daily. It’s not a one-time, “get it right forever” deal. It’s a regular yielding to the Spirit to help us live this way.
And, even with these “new things” that we put on, there are certain accessories that will heighten the way our new dress looks. These accessories upgrade our Christian character and conduct because being mindful to wear them means we are allowing God to control our newness of life, not ourselves.
Christian Character
When we think about our Christian character, we think about who we are in Christ. We are a new creation in Him, and our old ways, characteristics, traits, thoughts, and mannerisms are to be gone. When we allow the Lord to work in us and change us from the inside out, we become more and more like Him– walking in His ways, according to the will of God.
As we pursue the Lord and His righteousness, our Christian character becomes more crisp and resilient.
What are accessories?
If you haven’t read my post 7 Things Every Christian Woman Should Wear, take a few minutes to read about the main dress every Christian woman needs! These are the vital things we Christian women should be mindful to put on as we live out our new life in Christ. These traits are laid out for us by the Lord Himself in Colossians 3:12-14.
But, the accessories that go along with these 7 traits are very powerful parts of our Christian character that we should be mindful to put on— or rather, that we should allow to rule our inner beings.
As I state in my above-mentioned post, any well-put-together outfit strategically uses accessories to pull it all together. According to www.shopyourwardrobe.com, “Accessories provide interest to your outfit. Without them, you run the risk of getting bored with your wardrobe, and your outfits looking boring, because they’re always the same. Accessories extend the life of your clothes and familiar ensembles.”
The bottom line is, that we can try to pursue having a strong Christian character on our own and in our own strength, but these accessories are what hold it all up. That’s because they come from the Lord and are the workings of His might, not ours.
4 Accessories for Every Christian Woman
So sister, let’s heighten our dress with these important accessories.
#1: The Peace of God
True peace is only found through God— specifically through our acceptance of Christ’s redemptive work on the cross. As believers, we are called to the peace of God as believers. As a fruit of the Spirit, when the Holy Spirit dwells in us and we allow Him to lead us, we will fully experience His peace.
Having the peace of God means that we have comfort, security, and a calm that is present deep within our souls, no matter what our outside circumstances look like. We know that the Lord is our safety, He has us, and He will protect us.
It’s like Jesus sleeping on the boat in the middle of the storm. His disciples were in a state of panic. Jesus showed them the example of God’s peace.
His peace should rule (control) our hearts. This means that our thoughts, feelings, and emotions should NOT control us. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that the heart is deceitful above all things— this is why His peace needs to be in control, not our hearts.
His peace exists amidst ALL circumstances, not just the good ones.
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
We won’t always understand all of our circumstances because His peace is greater than our trivial understanding. It surpasses it. And, as we let it rule our hearts, it guards our hearts and minds against all uncertainty, doubt, fear, and emotions that lead us astray. Let His peace stand at the gates where our enemies dare to enter.
RELATED: Discover more about the importance of the Peace of God.
#2: The Word of Christ
As a Christian woman, it’s likely you know the importance of the Word of God in your life. But, let’s stop and really think about a few things.
The Lord writes the Word on our hearts and minds (Hebrews 10:16); therefore we should not forsake it. It should dwell in us richly.
The word for “dwell” in the original Greek means to inhabit; or to dwell in and influence for good. This isn’t just talking about head knowledge— anyone can memorize the Scriptures or “know” what the Bible says. Sister, this is more than that.
It’s as if the Word of God is to take up residence in our lives, so much so that it permeates our being and influences every thought and action we take.
“But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.”
The Lord gives us His Word so we have a standard, roadmap, and a manual by which to live. It is to dwell in us and be written on our hearts so we can live it out, not just know it.
The Word of God should become our internal operating system.
And, as Colossians 3:16 says, it won’t just dwell, but dwell richly. The Word of God can dwell in us richly because He gives it abundantly. What God gives us, He always gives us richly and abundantly (1 Timothy 6:17; Titus 3:6; 2 Peter 1:11).
The Word allows us to walk in wisdom (Psalm 119:98) — wisdom that comes from God– true wisdom. It guides us in all righteousness. But, we must know it, meditate on it, and live by it.
Ask yourself: What effect does the Word have in my life, actions, and conduct?
Bible Verses about the Word of God
These are just a few Bible verses about the Word of God. Comb the Scriptures yourself and discover many more! God desires that we know and understand the importance of the Word of God in our lives.
Hebrews 4:12; Psalm 119:98; Joshua 1:8; Luke 8:21; Luke 11:28: Ephesians 6:17; 1 Thessalonians 2:13; Revelation 19:13.
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#3: Knowing the Importance of Worship
When the word dwells richly within our hearts, we have a greater understanding of who God is— His kindness, mercy, grace, goodness, and faithfulness. We feel and know the depth of His love for us. How could we not then have a worshipful heart? How could we not desire to sing praises to Him?
What is worship? Worship is to regard with great or extravagant respect, honor, or devotion. When we worship, we give God the honor and reverence He deserves. He and He alone is worthy to be praised.
Yet, sometimes our worship seems dry and forced. Ever feel that way, sister? We don’t have the umphf and pizazz we usually do. Well, I don’t believe this attitude within us has anything to do with the Lord. He doesn’t change. He is not less praiseworthy today than He was yesterday.
“He’s laid it all out for us— the expression of who He is written in the form of His Word, and physically seen through Jesus Himself. ”
No— I believe this lack of enthusiasm in our worship comes because we have not been spending ample time with the Lord in His Word. We have not been finding delight in His Word (Psalm 119:47), and therefore, our delight in Him is lacking. This is why making time for God is so crucial.
You can’t get to know someone you don’t spend time with. And, would you really speak praises to others about a person you don’t know? Of course not.
He’s laid it all out for us— the expression of who He is written in the form of His Word, and physically seen through Jesus Himself.
It’s our job to grab hold of the revelation He’s given us. The importance of worship shows itself in the end result: a heart that desires to teach and admonish one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord (Colossians 3:16).
RELATED: 22 Ways to Make Time for God
#4: A Consistent Christian Character
When we do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, we act consistently with Who He is and what He wants for our lives.
We yield to the Spirit in our everyday lives. No matter what decision we’re faced with, we take it to the Lord, allowing Him to guide our steps, direct our paths, and convict us on whether or not our actions line up with His Word.
“…for it is God who is at work in you, both to desire and to work for His good pleasure. Do all things without complaining or arguments; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world…”
When we do all in the name of the Lord, we show the same compassion for others as He does. We do His will without complaining, no matter how insignificant the actions seem. We are more concerned with God receiving the glory through us (1 Corinthians 10:31), as opposed to our comfortability.
RELATED: How to Make Decisions as a Christian
The Beautiful Accessories of Our Christian Character
Sister, what will it be for you? Will you don the eye-catching, spirit-lifting accessories the Lord calls us to wear? Will you spend ample time with the Lord, gain a deeper knowledge of Him, praise and worship Him, allowing the Word of God to dwell within you richly?
It’s a choice. Just like you choose to add accessories to any outfit you wear, you choose to put on these additional pieces of your Christian character.
I exhort you, sister to do so. In the process, you will grow in your love of the Lord and sing His praises to others. Is He not worthy of that?
More in Christian Living
11 Things to Stop Doing During Tough Times
Trusting God during difficult times is not easy. Whether it’s tough for a day, a week, or several years, we can draw our strength from the Lord and look to the various examples He’s given us in His Word.
2020.
I bet I don’t have to say too much to remind you what kind of year that was. Many of the events that transpired during that time are still very fresh in our minds.
Maybe you lost a loved one. Perhaps you were very sick. Or possibly your greatest struggle was juggling your new work-from-home position alongside your new school-from-home kids.
We all faced tough times, in various ways.
I was pregnant in 2020. What I thought would be a wonderful, exciting time of sharing my pregnancy with my loved ones— especially after experiencing a miscarriage and then struggling to get pregnant for a year following it— turned out to be a year of loneliness and isolation.
We could barely leave the house. We couldn’t go to church. We couldn’t see our families. I remember sitting around and wondering if anyone even remembered that I was pregnant. Between morning sickness, the flu, perinatal depression, and other minor pregnancy difficulties, I became withdrawn and down in the dumps.
Eventually, I didn’t care about seeing anyone, anyway, even if Covid restrictions hadn’t been in full gear. I had little motivation to do things that mattered.
Sister, it was a tough time.
Although my situation was not as terrible as what many faced during that season, it was my situation, and I had to walk through it. And, while walking through it, I had a decision to make.
Would I dwell on all the difficult, uncomfortable things swirling around me, or would I draw my strength, comfort, and peace from the Lord?
It’s the same decision we all have to make today, and one that David had to make countless times, several thousand years ago.
David’s Tough Time
If you’re familiar with the life of David before becoming king, then you know that he faced numerous trials and tough times at the hands of his predecessor, King Saul. What began as an amicable relationship quickly turned to rage and jealousy towards David as Saul became threatened by his power and favor among the people. Therefore, David spent a lot of time running from Saul, who wanted nothing more than to take his life.
1 Samuel 23 tells of a particular time when the Philistines went up against the people in the city of Keilah. Simultaneously, David was fleeing for his life from King Saul. David heard the news of the Philistine’s threat, and he inquired of the Lord about whether or not he should fight the Philistines. The Lord told him to go, as He would hand the Philistines over to David (verse 4). Of course, with the Lord’s help, David delivers the people of Keilah.
Following these events, David knew Saul was aware of his location and would pursue him, likely destroying the city David just saved in order to do so. Once again, David inquired of the Lord, asking Him for confirmation on whether or not Saul would come and if the people of Keilah would turn him in. The Lord answered ‘Yes’ to both of these questions.
The people David had just rescued were ready to betray and hand him over to Saul.
What’s Your Default During Tough Times?
Has this ever happened to you, sister? Have you been hurt, betrayed, lied to, or stepped on– despite the good works you’ve done for others? It stings, no doubt. But, it’s the reality we often face in a fallen world.
What’s your default during times like these? Do you retaliate? Fight back? Whine a little bit? Ask God, ‘why’?
These reactions may give you relief for a moment, but sister, let me tell you– there is a better way.
Let’s take a moment and look at David’s default during this particularly tough time in his life.
7 Lessons from David in Psalm 54
There are so many encouraging Psalms in the Bible. Psalm 54 is one of them– not only for its encouragement but also because it gives us an outline of how to respond when we’re personally going through tough times. The notes at the beginning of the Psalm tell us that David wrote this Psalm about the challenge he faced when the people of Keilah gave up his location to King Saul.
“Save me, God, by Your name,
And vindicate me by Your power.
Hear my prayer, God;
Listen to the words of my mouth.
For strangers have risen against me
And violent men have sought my life;
They have not set God before them. Selah
Behold, God is my helper;
The Lord is the sustainer of my soul.
He will pay back the evil to my enemies;
Destroy them in Your faithfulness.
Willingly I will sacrifice to You;
I will praise Your name, Lord, for it is good.
For He has saved me from all trouble,
And my eye has looked with satisfaction upon my enemies.”
David’s default was to inquire of the Lord– about what to do both physically and emotionally. He acknowledged his situation, yet didn’t wallow in it.
Let’s break Psalm 54 down into 7 observations:
1.) First, David calls out to God.
Save me, God, by Your name, and vindicate me by Your power. (verse 1)
David is aware of where his help comes from (Psalm 121:1-2). He immediately turns to the only One who can save him.
2.) David prays to God.
Hear my prayer, God; listen to the words of my mouth. (verse 2)
At the time, David was camping with hundreds of his men. He could have turned left or right and received any bit of counsel he sought– yet, He knew his best option was to speak to the One who is all-knowing.
3.) He acknowledges his circumstance and sees it for what it is.
For strangers have risen against me and violent men have sought my life; they have not set God before them. (verse 3)
David is aware of what he’s facing. He knows that Saul is trying to kill him. Upon learning from the Lord that the Ziphites would turn him over to Saul— and although he likely feels betrayed— he still is able to see the situation clearly. He knows the main reason they are willing to do this is because they have not set God before them.
4.) David recognizes God for who He is.
Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the sustainer of my soul. (verse 4)
Again, David knows there is no one besides God Himself who is able to help, save, and sustain him. His hope is in God alone.
5.) David is aware of God’s power and what He can do.
He will pay back the evil to my enemies; destroy them in Your faithfulness. (verse 5)
The Lord is always faithful. David knew that the Lord would come to his defense and that He has the power to handle his enemies in a just way. David didn’t have to devise a plan to retaliate or seek vengeance on his own. He trusted the Lord to handle it as He saw fit.
6.) He decides not to dwell on the situation at hand.
Willingly I will sacrifice to You; I will praise Your name, Lord, for it is good. (verse 6)
David makes a choice. Instead of setting up camp in a land of self-pity, he decides to praise the Lord for who He is. He honors and praises him through sacrifice for the fact that He is good. His mind is set on the Lord, not on the disappointment surrounding him.
7.) David knows and believes what the Lord has already done, even if he hasn’t fully seen the outcome yet.
For He has saved me from all trouble, and my eye has looked with satisfaction upon my enemies. (verse 7)
He believes God has saved him from his enemies because he knows that’s what the Lord does as his helper and deliverer. David trusts God at His Word.
“I will raise my eyes to the mountains;
From where will my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth. ”
How to Get Through Tough Times
11 Things to Stop Doing Now
It’s inevitable– we will face tough times in our lives. Trusting God in difficult times is not easy. However, whether it’s tough for a day, a week, or several years, we can draw our strength from the Lord and look to the various examples He’s given us in His Word as we march forth through our trials.
It’s about leaning on Him in the decisions we make. Will we honor Him in what we do, or get in His way and trip ourselves up?
Here are 11 detrimental things we should stop doing so we can begin trusting God in difficult times.
If you’ve made any of these mistakes before— take heart! I have too, which I why I know how detrimental they can be to flourishing in our faith and walk with the Lord. So, let’s dive in so we can grow together!
#1: Don’t seek outside counsel before praying.
God is your number one source for all the information you need. Although there is wisdom in a multitude of godly counselors, others’ advice shouldn’t trump God’s– which can easily happen when He is second on your contact list. Gain revelation from Him first.
#2: Don’t dwell on your circumstances.
In the hard times, it’s much easier to dwell on the situation at hand– how difficult it is, the many questions we may have, or the anxieties about the unknown outcome. Your mind holds a lot of creativity and imagination and can lead you down roads so far from reality. Focus on the Lord, not your circumstances.
#3: Don’t forget who God is and what He is capable of.
In the midst of maneuvering through a very real situation, you can forget that God is more real and more true than whatever you face. He holds the power to strengthen you, lead you, and deliver you from your enemies.
#4: Don’t forsake time in the Word.
Anxiety has a way of consuming your mind, making it hard to concentrate on anything other than your troubles. However, this is the time when you need to be vigilant about what’s going into your mind. The Word of God is living, powerful, and active (Hebrews 4:12); it has the ability to break the strongholds of death and defeat, especially when they overtake your thoughts. Let His Word dwell within you deeply.
#5: Don’t make moves without inquiring of the Lord.
David knew the best decisions to make because he wasn’t the wisdom behind them– He drew his wisdom from the Lord. Allow the Lord to direct you and guide your steps, no matter how small. The road may be difficult, but in His will, you’ll be safe.
RELATED: Trusting God in Hard Times
#6: don’t spend too much time with those who do'n’t provide support for you.
Many in your life are well-meaning, but not all will give you sound and solid advice. Some will flat-out lack the support you need at this time. Purpose to spend time with those who uplift and encourage you, and exhort you prayerfully in the Lord.
#7: Don’t withdraw or skimp out on fellowship with other believers.
The enemy will tell you that it’s time to withdraw and focus only on yourself. Don’t buy into this lie. The Word tells us to not forsake assembling with other believers (Hebrews 10:25). During tough times, you need godly support, friendship, hospitality, and encouragement the most.
8 Bible Verses to Help You During Tough Times
Instead of listening to the negative rhetoric that can flood our minds during difficult times, let’s fill our minds with the power of God’s Word.
Use the form below to receive your FREE Download featuring 8 Bible verses about trusting God in difficult times. Print it, hang it on your mirror, or carry it with you for a reminder of God’s goodness throughout the day.
#8: Don’t forget to grieve.
It’s ok to grieve. Whatever needs to be grieved, sister, do that. You don’t have to bottle it up or hold it in. You are not weak because of it. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), and He hears your every cry.
#9: Don’t wait for your circumstances to change to bring you joy.
Our circumstances are not our source of joy. Joy comes from the Lord– from being in His presence (Psalm 16:11). When you’re walking through a tough time, don’t fall into the lie that you have to wait for things to get better before you can experience true joy. Draw close to the Lord, and allow Him to fill you with His peace and joy.
#10: Don’t carry the burden on your own shoulders.
Tough times are heavy. Feelings, thoughts, and emotions can weigh you down if you let them. But, the Lord tells us to give Him our cares, anxieties, and worry (1 Peter 5:7; Psalm 55:22). Sister, remove the weight from your shoulders– you are not strong enough to go it alone. Allow Him to carry you through and remove the burdens you’re used to internalizing.
#11: Don’t try to avoid your circumstances.
Like David, acknowledge what you’re going through. Pretending as if everything is fine or sweeping all doubts, fears, and emotions under the rug are not healthy ways to cope with tough times. Ask the Lord for His perspective in the matter, see things for what they really are, and seek to walk through it according to His leading.
“You will make known to me the way of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.”
The Lord Triumphs Over Tough Times
Tough times can’t be avoided. In fact, they’re a guarantee we face in this life (John 16:33). The key, sister, is relying on the Lord. Walk hand-in-hand with Him every step of the way. He is ready, willing, and waiting for you to seek Him more deeply, see Him more clearly, and love Him more wholeheartedly through your trial.
Remember– He is the One who saves you from all troubles. Praise His name.
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Recently, when reading Colossians, a certain sentence jumped out at me. I knew this was something the Lord wanted me to consider and take seriously.