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Lies We Believe About Idols (Part 2)
Idols. A word we sometimes think we don’t wrestle with. A word that seems foreign, Old Testament, or outdated. But…
Idols.
A word we sometimes think we don’t wrestle with. A word that seems foreign, Old Testament, or outdated.
But it’s not.
This is Part 2 of the series, The Lies We Believe About Idols. In Part 1, we discussed what the Bible says about idols, and answered the question, What is an idol? We also dove into the first 5 lies that we can tend to believe about idols.
If you missed Part 1, you can read it here. You’re going to want to start there before continuing on to the next 5 lies!
Before jumping into the lies, let’s remember that the things in which you find your identity, and the things that fill your mind and your heart can easily become idols.
Even if you’re not prone to propping up a shiny object on your shelf, you still may have an idol taking the place of the Lord in your heart.
So, let’s take a look at a few more things the world is telling us as it tries to weave these lies into our hearts.
Lie #6: Your image matters.
I remember being a teen and looking through beauty and fashion magazines to get an idea of what “beauty” looked like. If it wasn’t a magazine, it was the latest teen icon or music video star whose look I’d try to emulate.
Today, we don’t have to wait for our magazine subscription to come in the mail, or wait for a commercial break to end to see something on tv. Every young teen and woman has the ability to find models of “beauty” with a few thumb swipes or clicks.
But, this thought of bearing the perfect “image” is nothing less than an idol mentality, which ironically, just as in social media posts, puts a filter over the true meaning of being image-bearers.
How to improve your self-esteem and self-image are hot topics, but we’re being taught to look in the wrong places to find the answers.
Made in the image of God
The truth is, our image does matter, but not as the world tells us.
The Bible tells us we are made in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:26). What’s so important about this is that we are the only part of creation that God bestowed this blessing. Being made in His image sets us apart from all other aspects of creation, even animals. You can find a great explanation by Got Questions about being made in God’s image.
“For as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous.”
Bible verses about image
As 1 Corinthians 15:45-19 states, although we bear the image of the first man (Adam) and his sin, we who are in Christ also bear the image of the second Adam (Christ). We are new creations in Christ and what He calls us to put on as we walk in newness of life is important (Colossians 3; Ephesians 4:24).
The fact that we are seen as righteous before God is important (Romans 5:19). The amazing truth that God knit us together in our mother’s womb, perfectly made to look exactly the way He wanted us to look is important (Psalm 139:13-14).
The world’s beauty standards for our lives are not important.
Do not be deceived, dear sister, in thinking that we need to look a certain way to be justified. There is nothing wrong with having a nice wardrobe, wearing makeup, and taking care of your physical appearance. Please hear me and do not misunderstand.
The problem starts when we become so obsessed with our looks that we think our value and worth are bound up in them.
If we are “so beautiful,” we are more valuable. If we think we don’t measure up to the world’s standard for beauty, we’re less valuable.
When we believe these lies, we’re putting more stock in how He made us, as opposed to our Maker, Himself. We are the clay questioning the potter (Isaiah 45:9), all because the world tells us that perhaps we aren’t good enough.
Let it be known that the world holds no greater wisdom than God. He knew what He was doing when He made each of us. Let’s stop focusing so much on our self-image and instead marvel at our God-image.
Lie #7: You’re justified by the number of your social media followers.
The end result of being justified is peace. We think we can find peace in having a lot of people following us, peering into our lives, and “liking” the things we do. The world will tell us this is a great way to have a plethora of people thinking of you and caring about you.
Unfortunately, this is a form of craving worship and idolization.
“ Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Comb through the Gospels and find all of the times it says that many who heard and saw Jesus stopped what they were doing to immediately follow Him. Then, find the many times Jesus specifically calls people to follow Him. I don’t recall a time when Jesus paused His ministry, asked where someone else was going (from a standpoint of their philosophy or ministry), and said He would follow him.
Justified by Faith
We are justified by our faith (Galatians 2:16, 3:24; Philippians 3:9; Hebrews 11), not by our followers. We can aspire to be the next top social media influencer, but what is our platform? What are we trying to influence others to do?
Can you share the love of Christ while building a social platform doing makeup tutorials? Yes. While sharing helpful DIY videos or cooking tutorials? Of course.
None of these platforms are bad. And, if you’re putting out helpful content that blesses people, then organically you’ll gain social followers. Again, please don’t misunderstand me.
With all of these Lies, what we’re talking about is your heart attitude. Your motivation. Your reason for doing these things.
Check that first before journeying down any road that might tempt you to make your knowledge and social media following your main objective, for that is the moment the shiny object hops on the shelf of our hearts.
Lie #8: Your finances save you.
I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that idol worship can undoubtedly include the love of money.
The trouble with money doesn’t come when we have a lot– there is nothing wrong with wealth if the Lord chooses to bless you in that way. We see many examples of Old Testament saints who had wealth, such as Job.
The problem with money also doesn’t come when we have a little. Living in poverty or being poor does not mean you have any less faith than someone with money.
No, the trouble begins when we look to our finances to be our savior.
“Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever abandon you.”
Our money will come and go. Our money is temporary. But, as the verse above says, God will never leave us. Christ is our savior.
God’s Provision
Several years ago I was wrestling with the decision of whether or not to be a stay-at-home mom. I struggled with leaving work because I didn’t think our finances could handle it. Even though I knew the Lord was calling me to stay home, I held onto the false belief that my monetary contribution to our family was greater than what God could do for us on one income.
Deep in my heart, I didn’t truly believe that He could provide. I didn’t truly believe that He was and is in fact, Jehovah Jireh.
After much prayer and encouragement from those who’d walked through the same situation earlier in life, I decided to leave my job and stay home.
And guess what? We went broke and became homeless.
KIDDING!!! Totally kidding!
No, God provided. Of course, He provided. He wouldn’t have called me to stay home if He didn’t already have plans to provide for us.
But we think crazy thoughts like that sometimes, don’t we? We think, There’s no way I could take that step, move to this place, take this lower-paying job, or go into full-time ministry… Or, we think, If only I had more money, then I’d be able to do…. or go… or live this way…
When we live in fear of how our lives will turn out due to our lack of money, or when we place all of our hopes and dreams in the aspiration of what having more money could do for us– we have made our finances an idol.
jehovah jireh
We need to know, remember, and believe that the Lord will provide. We need to bask in the truth of God’s provision. God is the only one who supplies all of our needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19), and the Bible tells us that that’s exactly what He will do.
Our trust needs to be in Him, not our next paycheck. Not in our IRA. Not in our next promotion.
We are much more valuable to Him than the ravens (Luke 12:24) and He supplies all they need. Will He not do even more for His beloved?
Lie #9: People-pleasing is the only way to go.
According to Verywell Mind, people-pleasing generally involves people “feeling overly concerned with pleasing others and earning their approval as a way to maintain relationships.”
Although people-pleasers are seen as extremely helpful, kind, and giving– oftentimes, the underlying motivation in doing so is to gain the affection of others with the ultimate goal of gaining their approval. Their motive is to seek validation.
Even though they appear to have a humble attitude, it’s actually a form of pride.
how are we called to serve others?
Jesus calls us to be servants (Matthew 23:11), but in that serving, we need to operate under godly wisdom and discretion in how and when we serve.
As we see in the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42), we need to know when we should be wholeheartedly giving of ourselves in serving others, and when we need to attend to our own spiritual needs. There is a fine line to tread.
The bottom line is that Jesus doesn’t call us to be all things to everyone at all times. That is His job. Just because we are capable of doing something, doesn’t mean we should.
Before committing our time and energy to fill a need, we should seek counsel from the Lord. We can pray and ask Him if this is something He’s calling us to do at that moment. He may have a greater need He needs us to fill elsewhere. Or, like Martha, maybe He’d rather just have us sit at His feet.
Are you number one or do you even matter at all?
What’s interesting is the extreme that exists between this lie and Lie #1: You are number one. If we aren’t supposed to be thinking of ourselves first, then we are to be thinking of everyone else first.
Either you’re the only one who matters, or you don’t matter at all.
This is one reason why we need to be so in tune with what the Word of God says. We can be easily swayed between these two opposing mindsets, living a very confused life. But God is not the God of confusion. He does not create dichotomies for us to sift through so we can find the true meaning of life for ourselves. He gives clear instructions on the most important things we need to know.
Lie #10: I am entitled to something.
Dictionary.com defines entitled as “having a right or legitimate claim to something; assuming or acting as though one has an innate right or claim to wealth, success, recognition, etc.”
We’ve become individuals who believe we are entitled to something; or maybe, everything. This sense of entitlement makes us place ourselves on a pedestal, believing the lie that we deserve all good things, all the time. Everyone receives a trophy, bad things shouldn’t happen to us, and we should get what we deserve (say it again, all good things).
But where in the Bible does it say this?
If we look at the life of Job, we see someone who could have easily had a sense of entitlement. He was upright and blameless before God (Job 1:1), and did in fact have many nice things. But, even when all he had was stripped away, he still held onto the truth that we should expect the good in life and the bad (Job 2:10).
Grace and Mercy Abound
From one perspective, we are only deserving of death. All have sinned (Romans 3:23). From another perspective, in Christ, we have an inheritance (Ephesians 1:11-14).
So is it one or the other, or both?
Yes.
Since Christ stepped in to take our place and took on the punishment we all deserved when He died on the cross, the death we deserved is no longer ours to reckon with (for all who believe in Him). Christ took care of that for us. And, although we truly deserve nothing because we aren’t perfect, still wrestle with sin, and at times are disobedient against God– in Christ, we receive everything. We have an inheritance sealed with the promise of the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13).
This is called grace, sister.
Entitlement mentality
Yet, this isn’t what the world tells us about entitlement. The world’s entitlement tells us that we only deserve what is good, based on… well, not much at all. Just that we all deserve good. Only good. All the time.
If you’re a good person, you should receive only good. If you’re a bad person, you should receive only bad. And, since most people don’t consider themselves bad people, most people believe they are entitled to money, fame, wealth, ease, and success.
We are not entitled to anything. By the grace of God and by His mercy, we do receive many things we don’t deserve. And, for those of us in Christ, yes, the Lord showers us with many blessings. But, we still can expect the bad, because tribulation is promised in this world (John 16:33).
Sister, don’t be deceived by the world’s definition of entitlement. Thank God for the good he bestows upon us, all the while remembering that it’s only because of His mercy, grace, and Christ’s sacrifice that we receive it.
What is Idolatry?
Idolatry happens when we allow something– anything– to take the place of God in our hearts.
The lies we believe about idols are popular-thought. Unfortunately, we’ve become a culture that can easily be deceived by these lies, and for Christians, we can’t let that be so.
Idolatry comes in so many shapes and forms. Some forms of idolatry are obvious, and some, as we discussed with many of these heart attitudes, sneak in when we’re not looking.
Be aware of what the Word says about all of these issues. There’s much more to learn than what I’ve shared in this 2-part series. And, I’m sure you can think of many more things that we can allow to become our idols.
I encourage you, sister, to be diligent to stay in the Word. Ask the Lord to guard your heart against these idols. Put up the roadblocks, set up a blockade, or build a wall– whatever you need to do to stop them from infiltrating your life. Give the King of kings His rightful place on the throne of your heart.
Lies We Believe About Idols (Part 1)
Where do you spend most of your time? What do you think about more than anything? In what do you find your identity? This is where…
Where do you spend most of your time? What do you think about more than anything? In what do you find your identity? This is where your heart lies.
We live in a world full of “I’s.” A world where “self” is king. It’s all about “me”, what “I” can do, how “I” feel, and how this affects “me”.
Without even being fully aware of it, we have grown to make idols of ourselves– and if not ourselves, then of something else we hold near and dear.
The reason it has gotten to this point, I believe, is because the world tells us it’s okay. And, we have come to believe the world’s lies.
There are many lies floating around out there, and whereas this is not an exhaustive list, there is a lot to be said. Therefore, this article will be split into 2 parts!
Before we dig into the lies of Part 1, let’s talk about idolatry.
What is an idol?
Merriam-Webster defines an idol as an object of extreme devotion or a representation or symbol of an object of worship. In our culture today we’ve grown so accustomed to calling things “idols” and thinking nothing of it: tv shows with that title, celebrities are idolized, and people who we think of as our heroes are now referred to as someone we idolize. Not to mention, with the popularity of social media, it’s not hard to find someone with the “perfect” life inviting you to follow and idolize them in a matter of a few clicks.
This cultural mindset has dulled our senses and blinded our eyes to the real danger of idols.
Idolizing a person isn’t just a cute way of saying you admire them. It’s not the ultimate form of flattery towards someone. It’s putting whomever or whatever we’re idolizing in a place in our hearts above and beyond the One who belongs there.
What does the Bible say about idolatry?
Most of us are familiar with the Ten Commandments, of course, and the fact that in the first commandment God says that we are to have no other gods before Him. He instructs us not to construct objects into idols that we could worship or serve. Why? Because He says he is a jealous God (Exodus 20:3-5), and He wants our full devotion.
God wants no one and nothing in the place of Him in our hearts.
There are multiple places in the Bible where we can clearly see God command His followers against making idols for themselves or turning to idols. But, it doesn’t just stop there. Several times, immediately after forbidding us to make idols, He concludes with the truth, “for I am the Lord your God” (Leviticus 19:4; 26:1).
The Lord wants us to remember that He is our God– the idol is not.
His commands hold true because He is our God. His promises hold true in our lives because He is our God. He is the Maker of heaven and earth.
“For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the Lord made the heavens.”
Modern-Day Idols: How to understand the lies
To truly understand the impact these lies are subconsciously having on each of us, we have to shift our mindset from a narrow, singular thought that idols are mainly carved images, statues, or household objects. Most of us don’t have issues with carving images that we purposely set out to worship, yet when we hear the word idol, we immediately picture an object sitting on a shelf.
No, the idols of our culture today run much more inconspicuously. They’re quite stealthy. They sneak into our lives ever so quietly and slowly, without us even being aware of them. They steal our affection and attention in silent ways. And, before we know it, they’ve stolen the place of the Lord in our hearts.
Being aware of the battle between what the world tells us and what the Word says will help us understand the error of these lies and what the Lord wants us to know instead.
Lie #1: You are number one.
The world will tell you that you, yourself, and I are number one. Look out for number one, take care of yourself, and you matter the most are all phrases that permeate our culture.
The world sings a song of putting yourself above everyone else, and this makes us gods of ourselves.
We see this mindset in work environments, schools, and social media. Having the drive to win and succeed is fine, but not at the expense of someone else. From middle and high school bullying all the way to mom-shaming, seeing yourself and your ways as above others is the spark that ignites these negative behaviors.
Yet, if we look at the first eight verses of Philippians 2, we see that we’re to do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, and we’re to be humble, counting others as more significant than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).
This doesn’t mean that we should never take care of ourselves. This isn’t a black and white situation, as sometimes it is twisted to be. Meaning, we shouldn’t have the mindset that if we take time to do something for ourselves, we are being irresponsible because we could be doing something for someone else.
As Philippians 2:4 says, Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. There is a balance. Serving others is important and is what we’re called to do as believers, but it’s also ok to attend to our own needs.
The key is to remember that the Lord is number one. Once that is your perspective, things will more easily fall into their proper place.
Lie #2: OUR lives should revolve around OUR kids’ interests and activities.
I know we love our kids. I know our whole life perspective changed once we became parents. But, did you know that our children can easily become idols?
In our western culture, there is always the opportunity to see what everyone else’s kids are doing. Although this isn’t true for every neighborhood— in many places, there’s no end to the number of activities, sports, and clubs for our children to get involved in. If we don’t have access to the opportunity, we can check out our social media feed and easily see other children engaging in it.
This can lead to the comparison game, and comparison leads to the mindset that we need to do anything and everything we can to give our children a plethora of opportunities every year— just like “everyone” else.
Yes, it’s ok for them to be involved. I believe we should encourage it. Yet, we can get to a point where, in the pursuit of raising the perfect children who’ve never lacked a thing, we rearrange our entire lives to accommodate them.
What we build our lives around tends to earn first place in our hearts.
“Above all, let’s be sure we prioritize training up our children and helping them grow in the Lord.”
I’m not saying that it’s wrong to have a schedule where our children are on amazing traveling teams or going to statewide competitions. Growing up, I was a competitive gymnast— I get it.
But, I do think we need to be intentional in what we allow to shape their lives.
Let’s make sure we have the time and resources to train up our children (Proverbs 22:6) and teach them the ways of the Lord, first and foremost. Having a packed schedule that keeps our children out of our homes (and oftentimes, away from us) many nights a week can easily lead to limited time to grow in the Lord as a family.
Lie #3: Work/producing an income is the most important thing.
Work is something that is honored in the Bible. God gave Adam the job of working and tending to the land in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:15), many men in the Old Testament were shepherds, Paul was a tentmaker, and many of Jesus’s disciples were fishermen.
Not only this, but there are numerous Proverbs that speak of the importance of working, providing for your family, and not being idle (Proverbs 10:4; 21:25; 12:11).
The Lord values work and He has given us the capacity to do so.
But, we can easily place our job and careers at the forefront of our lives. When we get to the point where work always comes first— over our spouse, children, and ministries the Lord has called us to— that is when we need to shift our mindset. As important as it is to provide for our family, especially if you are a single mom, we need to remember that ultimately God is our Provider and He will supply us with all that we need.
The key is staying close to Him and listening to His promptings. If we ask Him, He will let us know if and when we need to back off a bit, how we need to prioritize our schedule, and how to create a work and family balance that glorifies Him.
Our job is a means to an end. It is not eternal. Yes, we can be a witness to those in our workplace, but we need to be faithful to all of the areas of our lives that the Lord has called us to, not just the one that produces income.
Lie #4: Your husband’s role is to be your “everything.”
In today’s world, we are inundated with fairy tales, reality shows, and Hallmark movies depicting what a perfect husband looks like. He always says the right things, constantly saves the day, and repeatedly sweeps his wife off of her feet. The “perfect” husband is seen as the one who does everything right, without fail.
So, when a married woman’s man doesn’t measure up to all of these thoughts and images in her head, she’s told it’s ok to trade him in for a new one. Unfortunately, this is the culture we live in, and one of the reasons why the divorce rate is so high.
But, what we’re told is a “perfect” husband is not reality.
Take a look at what the Bible says about marriage, specifically in regards to husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25 NASB).
So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself (Ephesians 5:28 NASB).
Husbands, love your wives and do not become bitter against them (Colossians 3:19 NASB).
This is by no means an extensive list of what the Lord tells us about marriage; however, the main point we see here is that husbands are commanded to love their wives, as Christ loved the church.
what the bible doesn’t say
It doesn’t say that husbands are to be perfect, attending to our every need, while riding on a white horse. It doesn’t say that we are to only respect and submit to our husband (1 Peter 3:1-2; Ephesians 5:22) when he’s earned it by his good deeds towards us. It doesn’t say that his sole purpose in life is to make his wife happy.
When we have the mindset that our husband is to be our everything, he has become our idol. We look to him for satisfaction, pleasure, happiness, and to rescue us from all things.
what the bible does say
What the Bible does make clear in 1 Peter and Ephesians 5 is that wives are to respect and submit to their husbands as unto the Lord. It says that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church.
Both husbands and wives are to look to Jesus to be their everything– not each other. Christ is the only One who is capable and able to be our all in all.
Lie #5: You’re strong enough to do it on your own. You don’t need anybody.
This lie almost ties in with Lie #1. When we’re stuck on thinking that we are number one, there's no doubt in our minds that we can do everything on our own. Or so we think.
The problem with this is that we weren’t created to be an island. God didn’t create us to be alone, survive alone, and need no one else.
Remember that part of the Bible where God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18)? We need each other– no matter how much brains, beauty, or brawn we have. We were meant to be a community, cultivate goldy friendships, and walk out our spiritual gifts to the benefit of fellow believers (1 Peter 4:10-11).
“I am the vine, you are the branches; the one who remains in Me, and I in him bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”
The mentality that we can do all things on our own takes the Lord out of the equation.
When we think this way, we put ourselves in a place where we act as though we are as all-knowing, all-powerful, and as wise as God. We come to believe that we know what’s best for our lives 100% of the time, and what’s best for others.
Instead, the Lord calls us to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), love, rejoice with, and be devoted to one another, among many other things (Romans 12:9-21).
RELATED: For a full list of ways you can encourage your circle and serve one another, grab a free copy of this actionable guide.
We can only do all these things through Him, with Him, and by His guidance. It isn’t us. And, we don’t have to be strong enough because His strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). That’s good enough for me.
Refute the Lies
Sister, you don’t have to bow down to these modern-day idols. Study the Word. Meditate on what the Bible says about idolatry. Keep the Lord number one in your heart.
As I said earlier, this is part 1 of the series!
In Part 2, we’ll take a look at five additional lies we believe about idols. Read Part 2 here.
Be sure to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss the next dose of encouragement straight to your inbox!
5 Powerful Ways to Calm Anxiety
I see you. You’re tired— physically, mentally, and emotionally. You’re struggling. You’re feeling overwhelmed. You’re going through some hard things…
I see you.
You’re tired— physically, mentally, and emotionally. You’re struggling. You’re feeling overwhelmed. You’re going through some hard things— things related to motherhood, things with your spouse, things with your finances…and other things. You’re going through all the things.
I see you.
Your spiritual disciplines are waning. Sometimes you don’t feel like picking up your Bible. Climbing out of bed and getting the family ready for church feels like a full-time job. You lack the motivation to serve. Prayer time feels weak, empty, and your words seem repetitive.
I see you.
God’s Word sounds good, but you aren’t really feeling it in the depths of your soul like you normally do. You want to believe and reckon every word of the text for yourself, but unbelief shouts louder. You’re easily distracted while you read, and your quiet time just feels dry.
I see you.
You want to hear the Lord speaking to you, but the voice of the enemy drowns it out. You’ve let the spirit of fear control your thoughts and direct your steps. You believe God is good, great, and mighty, but you’re having trouble staying under the shadow of His wings.
I see you.
And, so does the Lord. El Roi (Genesis 16:13). He sees you, He hears you, and He loves you right where you are.
When the day feels daunting
When fear, worry, anxiety, and a lack of motivation strip you of your energy and cast you down into a pit, you don’t dig yourself out. The only way out is through– and by through, I mean you let the Lord lift you out.
His process of lifting you out means you have to walk through the trials— big and small; through the places of overwhelm; and it has to be by, through, and with the Lord’s help. He is the one who pulls you out of the pit, sets your feel on solid rock, and puts a new song in your mouth (Psalm 40:1-3).
I’m right here with you. These last several weeks I’ve battled each of these thoughts, feelings, and mindsets. I’ve let myself stay in the pit at times, and I’ve let the Lord lift me up at times. But what I have learned (and am continuing to learn!), is that the Lord meets you where you are, and if you allow Him, He will grab you by the hand and pull you along to where He wants you to be.
The God Who Sees
The Lord not only sees You, but He also goes far beyond that and actually fights for you (Deuteronomy 1:30), heals you (Psalm 30:2), and comforts you (Psalm 94:19).
The Lord is here to calm your anxiety, squelch your overwhelm, and light your lack of motivation on fire. And, He doesn’t do those things in the ways the world may tell us– keep yourself busy, focus on yourself, or anchor down on your to-do list.
No, He puts a new song in our mouths– one of praise to Him.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord (Psalm 40:3 NASB).
Worshipping God when these feelings ensnare us is absolutely necessary– and, absolutely difficult. Yes, difficult. But, what I’ve found recently is that as I praise God when I am feeling my lowest— sitting on the floor with a blanket draped around me in an effort to find some sort of comfort— that is when my heart is changed.
Through the praise, He draws me closer to Him, calms my heart, mind, and soul, and shows me just how ever-present He truly is.
Praising God when you don’t feel like it
How do we allow God to work in us when we’re stuck in the pit? It’s easy to praise Him when we’re feeling good, and there’s a lot of sunshine in our lives. But what about when things are hard?
There is a progression I went through that brought me to the place where I can praise Him even from the pit. How? Well, as soon as the heart of praise comes full force, I realize He’s already brought me out of the pit and set my feet upon the rock.
And, when your feet are steady and firm on His rock, it’s much harder to fall back into the pit of despair.
How to calm anxiety, overwhelm, and lack of motivation
How do you calm anxiety? The Lord led me through this progression as I began to deal with anxiety due to a life circumstance several weeks ago. Although I’m certainly not “over the mountain” yet and able to perfectly deal with it, I do believe the game plan that He’s given me has proven to be helpful (of course it is— it’s from the Lord!), and perhaps it will be helpful to you too!
#1: Seek the lord
Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face continually. (Psalm 105:4 NASB)
First, I had to start with the basics…and by the basics, I mean the most important thing: Him. He is who we are looking for and the only One who can fill the empty hole within us. Once we know Him more deeply, we get to a place where we realize that He is enough. If all else fails and all else is stripped away, He is enough.
Seeking Him means spending time communicating with Him, praying, and listening to Him. Study His Word and get to know Him better through His love and counsel.
#2: Prayer time
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6 NASB)
Through our prayer– our conversation with the Lord– we are able to grow closer to Him and get to know Him better. Why? Because there is so much that He reveals to us if we only ask. He calls us to seek Him, and when we seek something or someone, the goal is to find them, right?
As I’ve battled these feelings of anxiety and overwhelm, I began a prayer journal. Writing prayers, praise, and anything that is on my heart at the moment has been very comforting to me. To be able to get the thoughts out of my head before the Lord is freeing.
But, no matter how or where we pray, just know that prayer is crucial in overcoming anxiety. When we let the Lord know what’s on our hearts, He opens our eyes to other Scripture, resources, and people in our lives who can help us in our season. If we’re not ready to speak about it with the Lord, then we’re not truly ready to confront it.
#3: Spend time in the Word
When we are feeling overwhelmed and fighting anxiety, that’s not a time to slack in our Bible study. I know— it’s hard to get out of bed. I know— it’s hard to open the Bible and read the words through the tears in our eyes. I know. But this is the time!
For me, I’ve taken a break from the book of the Bible I’ve been studying in order to spend time in the Word with the purpose of finding passages and verses that keep my mind focused on Him, His power, and His ability to overcome overwhelm, anxiety, fear, and a lack of motivation.
“Follow God’s lead. There is no one who knows the Word better than He does!”
Take notes. Write Scripture. Write out your prayers. Whatever method you use and however the Lord leads you at that moment will be the most helpful to you. Follow His lead. There is no one who knows the Word better than He does! Allow Him to lead you to the passages that will minister to your soul at the moment.
#4: Find your encouragement circle
As a typically introverted person, I tend to get quiet, keep things bottled up, and go off by myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed. My natural tendency is to just deal with hurt and negative feelings on my own. But, the Lord has repeatedly shown me that this is not the time to go and live on an island. I need people. You need people.
I pray that you have a few godly women in your life that you can go to as you walk through your trials. Even if they’ve never been through exactly what you’re going through, they can help you keep the right perspective, pray over you, send you encouraging scriptures, or just check in on you and see how you’re doing.
I’ve been blessed to have a circle of friends who’ve done this for me, and it makes a world of difference. The Lord puts people in your life equipped with different spiritual gifts– gifts that can be used to minister to you.
Don’t keep quiet. Lean on the Lord and don’t take for granted the people He has placed around you.
#5: Praise Him regularly
I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies. (Psalm 18:3 NASB)
The Lord is worthy to be praised. Sometimes when we’re down in the pit it doesn’t feel that way. But, it’s true. Going through the progression of my tips #1 to 4 has led me to the place where praise can be honest and regular because I believe that despite all things, He is worthy to be praised.
Do you believe He’s worthy to be praised?
Keeping your sights focused on things above (Colossians 3:1-2), and not the circumstances of your life, reminds you that He is truly worthy.
Biblical Affirmations to start each day of the week
These truths are based on encouraging scriptures in the Bible. Remembering the truth of God’s Word not only keeps you focused on what truly matters, but helps you remember and believe that He is enough.
Read these truths when you’re struggling and wondering how to calm anxiety. Meditate on these biblical affirmations when you feel a lack of motivation. And, when the day feels daunting, spend the day focusing on one of these truths at a time. Take the time to look up the referenced verses and memorize what He has promised you.
Here’s one biblical affirmation for each day of the week!
Monday
God has a plan and purpose for my life (Jeremiah 29:11)
Tuesday
His goodness and mercy pursue me (Psalm 23:6).
Wednesday
The Lord fights for me (Exodus 14:14).
Thursday
The Lord does not forsake those who seek Him (Psalm 9:10).
Friday
I can dwell safely in the Lord, for He shelters me (Deuteronomy 33:12).
Saturday
The Lord is my keeper (Psalm 121:5).
Sunday
I will not be shaken because the Lord is at my right hand, and I have set Him before me (Psalm 16:8).
He is Enough
Sister, please remember: God is enough. Even in the pit. Even when you’re struggling. Even when all else fails, and all you hold dear is stripped away.
God is enough.
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7 Things Every Christian Woman Should Wear
I love when the seasons change. There’s something exciting about the anticipation of a “newness” of sorts on the horizon– the change in weather, the amount of sunlight, and the difference…
I love when the seasons change. There’s something exciting about the anticipation of a “newness” of sorts on the horizon– the change in weather, the amount of sunlight, and the difference in the feeling of the ground underneath my feet. I enjoy the soft crunch of grass between my bare toes in the summer. And, even though winter is my least favorite season, I still appreciate a few changes that time of year brings.
With the change of weather comes the change of wardrobe. Switching out the clothes in my closet or drawers isn’t my favorite thing to do, but I do enjoy going from the heavyweight materials and toned-down colors of winter to the bright and airy fabrics of spring and summertime.
Change can be good. Especially when it’s God-ordained.
In Christ, we are changed. Upon accepting Him as our Savior, we become a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). And, just like our seasonal wardrobes, there are things we need to take off and put on. Why?
Because the character of a Christian is important to God. We can’t truly live life purposely, to the glory of God if we are still walking in our old ways.
Seasons Change
Whether you’re a new Christian, or you’ve been a believer for years, the Lord calls you to walk in His ways. Typically, our ways are not His ways, right? Some things need to change in our lives so that we can live in a way that brings glory to Him.
Not putting off these old ways of ours is much like continuing to wear our winter coats in the summertime. It doesn’t take long to begin to feel weighed down, inappropriate, and completely out of sorts. Continuing in our old habits and old “dress” even though our season has changed holds us back.
What Not to Wear
But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him. (Colossians 3:8-11 NKJV)
Since we died with Christ and are raised in newness of life with Him, we are to put to death what is evil and earthly within us: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, covetousness, and idolatry (Colossians 3:5).
Put to death. Those are strong words! The behaviors God calls us to cast aside in our walk with Him are to be just that– cast aside and put to death through the power of the Holy Spirit within us (Romans 8:13) and never picked up again.
Along with the traits we’re to put to death, verses 8-11 call us to put off several other things:
#1: Put off ANGER:
While it may be ok for things to anger you, such as grieving over sin, acting out in our anger is never a good thing (Ephesians 4:26). Anger should never rule our thoughts, actions, or permeate our relationships.
#2: Put off WRATH:
Wrath and anger go hand in hand at times in the Bible (Genesis 49:7; Proverbs 15:1; Deuteronomy 29:28), because extreme anger leads to wrath. However, no matter the injustice, wrath is something that should be left unto God and God alone (Romans 12:19).
#3: Put off MALICE:
Merriam-Webster defines malice as a desire to cause pain, injury, or distress to another. What are our intentions in our relationships with others, especially when they’ve wronged us? In our flesh, our natural inclination can be to desire pain for others when we’re upset with them– especially via our words.
#4: Put off BLASPHEMY:
As a believer– a child of God for whom Christ died– insulting the Lord, or any acts of irreverence towards Him is wrong. We need to set a good example and be good witnesses in our words and conduct.
#5: Put off FILTHY LANGUAGE:
What we speak is important. Our words should be uplifting, edifying, and leave others with grace (Ephesians 4:29). What types of words are we using? One minute are we praising the Lord, and in the next breath, mumbling a swear word? If we have issues with foul language, filthy jokes, or unwholesome talk of any sort, we can pray and ask the Lord to help us control our tongues.
#6: Put off LIES:
The Lord is truth (John 14:6), therefore we cannot live in a way that is congruent to His character if we are deceptive and speaking lies. Pursuing a righteous life means that we want to exhibit His qualities, and lying is not something that the Lord ever does. Those who lie do not escape (Proverbs 19:5).
Keeping these terrible traits cast off (yes, it is a continual process of obedience!) is much easier to do when we keep our eyes focused on the Lord.
What to wear
What does the Bible say about Christian character? Colossians 3:10 states that once we’re in Christ, we have “put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him.”
If we are truly pursuing the Lord and His righteousness, then as we seek Him, we will be renewed in our knowledge of Him and all that He is, we’ll desire for the Holy Spirit to work in us and change us, and our character will become more like the image of Him who created us.
As we’ve seen, Colossians 3 begins by giving us a list of things we are to cast off once we become believers. Verse 12 starts with “therefore,” indicating that given what God has done through Christ, and since we are “the elect of God, holy and beloved” these are the attitudes and behaviors God expects in response from believers, in terms of our relationships with others.
So, sister– it’s a new season. What shall we wear?
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. (Colossians 3:12-14 NJKV)
#1: TENDER MERCIES:
We should have a heart of compassion, just as the Lord does with us. Read more about living with Biblical compassion.
#2: KINDNESS:
Kindness is goodness towards others that involves your whole being and mellows any harshness within you. So, it’s not just being kind to someone—it’s that your BEING is kind. Are you clothed in kindness? Find out here.
#3: HUMILITY:
This is the opposite of self-love. You don’t think less of yourself. You think of yourself, less. And when we are humble before the Lord, He will lift us up (James 4:10). Your Biblical guide to humility, right here.
#4: MEEKNESS/GENTLENESS:
This is when we have a willingness to suffer injury or insult rather than be the one to inflict those insults on others. In today’s world, a meek and gentle spirit is often mistaken for weakness. Yet, the Word tells us that the meek are blessed and will inherit the earth (Matthew 5:5; Psalm 37:11).
#5: LONGSUFFERING/PATIENCE:
Patience is the opposite of quick anger and revenge. You don’t hang onto resentment. You patiently endure as Christ did, and continues to do with us. We are called to be patient with others, patient with the Lord as we wait on Him, and let patience have its perfect work within us (James 1:4).
#6: BEAR ONE ANOTHER AND FORGIVE:
Christ forgave us, so what makes us think that we shouldn’t forgive our fellow brothers and sisters? Being unwilling to forgive or even bear with others in love is evidence of pride in our lives. Things won’t always be fun and copasetic in relationships– yet, we are called to work things out and bear with others in those difficult things. This is what mature believers do.
#7: LOVE:
He calls this the “bond of perfection,” or NASB says, “the perfect bond of unity.” All the other virtues listed above, are distorted if done without love.
It’s not about fashion– it’s faith. It’s not about outward appearance– it’s our inner being. The Lord is concerned with our character. So what’s next?
“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved...”
Don’t forget your essential accessories
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. (Colossians 3:15-17)
Any well-put-together outfit strategically uses accessories to pull it all together. According to www.shopyourwardrobe.com, “Accessories provide interest to your outfit. Without them, you run the risk of getting bored with your wardrobe, and your outfits looking boring, because they’re always the same. Accessories extend the life of your clothes and familiar ensembles.”
But wait– I just said this isn’t about fashion, so what am I talking about?
Colossians 3:15-17 runs through several more, very powerful parts of our character that we should be mindful to put on— or rather, that we should allow to rule our inner beings.
These things are nothing short of gifts from the Lord, and when we purpose to not lose sight of them and intentionally make them a part of our faith walk, they heighten the intensity of the character of our new person.
Just as the right accessories heighten the look and appearance of the perfect outfit. Dare I say the accessories are the most important factor.
Without these much-needed godly accessories, our character falls flat and at best comes across as worldly and fleshly.
the accessories that make our wardrobe purposeful
He gives us the PEACE OF GOD, which is an attitude of true rest and security, only experienced by those in Christ. The Lord is peace, He offers us peace, and He wants His peace to rule in our hearts.
He desires that the WORD OF CHRIST would dwell in us richly. God’s Word should live in us, permeate our being, and control every thought, word, and deed– in all wisdom.
This produces an UPLIFTING and WORSHIPFUL HEART that encourages others, worships with others, and sings praises to the Lord.
And, when His peace rules our hearts and His Word dwells richly within us, we’ll be prompted to DO ALL IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS. We’ll act consistently with Who He is and what He wants, with a thankful heart.
How can we have the character of a Christian?
I know, I know– living in a way that pleases God and exhibiting all of these character traits is easier said than done. It’s impossible to live this way in every moment, day-to-day, in our own strength. We need the Holy Spirit working within us, guiding us and leading us in our decision-making and conduct.
And, the Lord provides help. I think there is an important hint for us at the beginning of Colossians 3. If we are constantly looking around the world for our example of how to live with integrity and how to have a godly character, we won’t find it.
Instead, we are to seek and set our mind on things above, not on things of the earth (Colossians 3:1-2).
When we keep our eyes on Jesus, we see the example of One who perfectly walked out all of these attributes we are to put on.
Are you ready for the change?
So, sister– join me this season, will you? This season calls for our best dress. Our best submission to His will for our lives. Our best desire to abide in Him. Our best heart of praise for Him. Our winter coats have no place in the summer with the Son. Toss out the old rags. Let’s put on only what He desires of us.
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Will You Accept the Peace Jesus Offers?
Peace is something everyone wishes to have at some point in their life. I mean, really– who wants chaos? Who wants stress? Does anyone want to worry?
I think you'd agree with me that the answer to all of those questions is an emphatic No. Yet, all of these things…
Peace is something everyone wishes to have at some point in their life. I mean, really– who wants chaos? Who wants stress? Does anyone want to worry?
I think you'd agree with me that the answer to all of those questions is an emphatic No.
Yet, all of these things plague our lives from time to time. Some of them are due to our own actions and decisions, and some because of hard circumstances and trials the Lord allows us to go through.
Peace is a topic that runs deeply through the Bible and for good reason.
What is Peace?
Peace is defined by Merriam-Webster as a state of tranquility or quiet; freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions.
Most people think of peace as having no issues, no bad circumstances, good relations with others, and 360-degree positivity.
But that is earthly peace. And, that kind of peace is unrealistic, at least long-term.
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What does the Bible say about peace?
The Bible has a lot to say about peace. In fact, according to Quora, the word “peace” appears over 420 times in the KJV! We can’t possibly cover everything the Bible has to say about peace in this post, but here are a few thoughts to get you started:
Ultimate peace with God is made possible by Jesus’s death on the cross.
For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and by Him to reconcile all things to Himself, by Him, whether things on earth or things in heaven, having made peace through the blood of His cross. (Colossians 1:19-20 ESV).
Because peace is given to us by God, true peace is not possible without God. Jesus’s death on the cross to atone for our sins (and our acceptance of this free gift) is the only thing that provides us with a way to be in right standing with God. It starts here.
Jesus is the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6).
Peace ultimately comes from God. The Lord is peace, and we are called to seek Him. Therefore, peace is something believers should pursue (Psalm 34:14) and desire.
Peace is one of the fruit of the Spirit
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23 ESV)
The Holy Spirit dwells in those who are truly in Christ and have accepted Him as their Lord and Savior. The Spirit works in our hearts and our lives, with the goal of transforming us to be more and more like the Lord. So, if we are truly walking in the Spirit and allowing Him to lead us, we will exhibit peace in our conduct.
“The Lord is peace, and we are called to seek Him.”
Will You Accept the Peace Jesus Offers?
What I've shared about peace is just the tip of the iceberg of what could be a very in-depth study! I encourage you to take the time and search the Scriptures for more Bible verses about peace (I’ve listed a few at the end of this post to get you started!), and what else the Lord has to tell you about pursuing peace, seeking peace, and letting peace rule in your heart (Colossians 3:15).
The fact of the matter is-- peace is offered to us, but we have the choice as to whether or not we will take it.
John 16:33 speaks of such peace, so I want to take a look at what Jesus has to say in the context of verses 25 through 33, and why it's in our best interest to accept the peace He offers. Grab your Bible, sister, and read along!
It starts with God’s love
In verse 25, Jesus, as He continues in His conversation with His disciples, says that “these things” He’s told them (namely, what we read in the previous verses), He spoke in figurative language. Yet, soon a time would come when He would no longer speak to them this way, but He would speak plainly.
He assures them that the time is coming when they will be able to (as we can) personally approach God and ask for things, as well as pray in Jesus’s name (John 16.26).
Why can we do this (ask and pray directly to the Father)? Because “the Father Himself loves you” (John 16:27). In Christ, we have full access to God. Jesus does not have to persuade the Father to be gracious to us. He doesn’t have to persuade Him to be LOVE to us.
God’s Love leads to our faith
We typically describe our state prior to being saved as being separated from God, living under God’s wrath, and children of the prince of the world (see Ephesians 2:1-3 and Romans 5:8-9).
Although this is true, God didn’t send Jesus into the world because he hated us so much. He sent Jesus because He “so loved the world” (John 3:16).
Let me say it another way: Jesus’s death didn’t cause God to love us. God already loved us. Christ’s death on the cross tells us and shows us that God is love. It fixed the separation we once had from Him.
When Jesus says in John 16:27, “for the Father Himself loves you because you have loved me,” it’s not saying God’s love for us is conditional on whether or not we love Jesus. Just as Jesus’s death didn’t change God into love, our love for Jesus doesn’t change God into love for us. Our love for Jesus is evidence of the Father’s love for us.
“We love Him because He first loved us (1 John 4:19 NKJV).
It’s important to understand what part of the equation we are, especially in a world that preaches “I”-- I need to do something, I need to make this happen, I can do it on my own. We don’t cause the effect. We can do nothing without the Father (John 15:5).
In John 16:29-32, we see some light bulbs go off. The disciples felt like they finally got it now. They understood. They believed that Jesus knew what He was talking about, Who He truly is, and that He “came forth from God.” Because of what Jesus proclaimed in verse 28, they felt He was now speaking plainly. They felt confident in their faith in Him.
Our faith and its connection to His peace
We have to understand God’s love in order to have faith; otherwise, all God has done and continues to do just doesn’t make sense to us. Things feel like a bunch of “figures of speech” as they did with the disciples.
But, do we truly believe?
We see Jesus ask His disciples this very question in John 16:31. When He asked, “Do you now believe?”, I don’t think he was necessarily doubting or questioning their faith, as much as He was asking because He was about to warn them of things to come-- troubling events that would scatter them and make them question their faith.
He wanted them to contemplate just how solid their faith was. We should do the same.
How solid is our faith? Are we like the disciples, in one moment expressing our confident faith in the Lord; and in the next, scattering and leaving Him during hard times (John 16:32)?
In Jesus’s case, when His disciples retreated, He knew He was not truly alone. The Father was with Him. Jesus put His stock in His close relationship with the Father, not in man. And, the same should be true for us because this is how it is when we truly abide in the Father.
When our total reliance is on Him, even when everyone leaves, we aren’t alone.
“Jesus put His stock in His close relationship with the Father, not in man. And, the same should be true for us.”
John 16:33 — the choice we have
“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NKJV)
When we understand the string of truths mentioned above, we will desire to make the decision to accept His peace.
Notice how the text says, “that in Me you may have peace.” He offered them peace. He wanted them to know that no matter what was about to happen, especially as they decided to scatter on their own, His peace was there for the taking.
We have to choose his peace and accept it.
This peace is in Christ alone. Simply following Jesus does not guarantee us this peace. It's a guarantee that He has it ready and willing for us, yes-- but, we must choose to seek it. We find this peace in Him, by relying on and abiding in Him. But, whether or not we will rely upon and abide in Him is our choice.
We could live our whole lives as Christians and deny ourselves his peace— or, choose the wrong "peace.”
Christ’s peace is alive even in the midst of bad circumstances, conflict, and tribulation. The kind of peace the world offers means everything is calm and perfect, and it's false. Contrary to what “they” say, we don’t find peace in anything else the world offers, such as money, fame, careers, or relationships.
his peace is powerful.
True peace in Christ is so powerful that it can exist along with tribulation and still hold us steady. It’s not rocked or weakened by outside circumstances. And, we know tribulation is promised-- so why not take the peace He offers?
So, Sister: Be of good cheer!
The phrase “be of good cheer” in Greek means to have courage, or be of good comfort. Jesus commonly said this phrase at times when people were afraid (such as when He walked on water and approached His disciples’ boat), or when He was healing someone. These words brought comfort to the hearer and signaled the onset of some sort of good news to follow.
In this case, the good news to follow was literally THE GOOD NEWS-- the Gospel. Christ’s death overcame. He wasn’t telling them, “Things will get better if you only do this or that, so cheer up.” This wasn’t a victory to be won by themselves. It was Christ’s victory. He overcame the world. There is no strength or comfort in the things we do. It’s Christ alone.
BUT, Christ’s victory is our victory. We are joint-heirs with Christ, so we share both in His sufferings (tribulations) and in His victory.
Hallelujah.
Bible verses about peace
Looking for a few Bible verses about peace? There are TONS in the Scriptures. Here are a few to get you started!
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. (John 14:27 ESV)
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. (Colossians 3:15 ESV)
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all. (2 Thessalonians 3:16 ESV)
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 ESV)
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How to Purposely Pray Over Your Children
Prayer is one of the most beautiful parts of our relationship with Christ that we get to enjoy. I mean, think about it– at any point, on any given day, and at absolutely any time, we can have a conversation with the Almighty God. The same…
Prayer is one of the most beautiful parts of our relationship with Christ that we get to enjoy. I mean, think about it– at any point, on any given day, and at absolutely any time, we can have a conversation with the Almighty God. The same God who created the universe (Genesis 1:1). The same God who knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). The same God who sent His only Son to die so that you could be made right in His eyes, and yes– have a complete, VIP, all-access pass straight into His throne room (Ephesians 2:18).
But sometimes we can take this for granted.
At times, our prayers are weak, quick, or just a thing we check off our to-do list. Sometimes we tell a sister, “I’ll pray for you,” yet the prayer request gets lost in the heaviness of our own day. We have every intention to spend ample time communing with the Lord, but things “get in our way,” or “take up our time,” compressing our prayer life into a simple, “Please, thank you, Jesus. Amen.”
I pray (no pun intended) I’m not alone in this.
Regardless, we know prayer is important. It’s important in all aspects of our lives, but as mothers– it’s especially important in the lives of our children. A wise sister has often said to me, “Who else is going to pray for your children more than you?”
Since my children were very little, I’ve prayed specific blessings and Scriptures over them. I’ll share them in a bit.
But first, let’s stop and really think about our approach to prayer and why it’s important.
What is prayer?
Prayer is communication with God. Talking to Him, crying out to Him, praising Him, or petitioning Him– whether aloud or from the depths of our heart– all constitute prayer. When we pray, we have the opportunity to bear our soul before our Heavenly Father. Although He is omniscient, searches our hearts, and knows every intent of our thoughts (1 Chronicles 28:9), He still desires that we bring everything to Him.
Like any good father, He wants to hear from us regularly. He wants to know our pains, struggles, and greatest joys. He is faithful, and therefore we can always approach Him with thanksgiving.
Our prayers may not always be answered in the way that we think, but they are never for naught. They allow us to draw near to the Lord, and there is always much to learn as we humbly approach Him, trusting in His perfect will.
But, prayer isn't just about us speaking to God-- it also involves Him speaking with us. Oftentimes, it is better to simply be still and listen to what He has to say, as opposed to doing all of the talking.
What we learn from Nehemiah about prayer
The first chapter of the Old Testament book of Nehemiah begins with a powerful prayer, spoken by Nehemiah himself. At the time, Nehemiah was serving as cupbearer to the king in Susa (Nehemiah 1:11), and he received a bad report regarding the Jewish exiles who had returned to Jerusalem (1:3).
The news brought great distress to Nehemiah (1:4). He was distressed over the state of Jerusalem, as well as those he loved, and he took his sorrow to the Lord in prayer before doing anything else. We see this prayer beginning in verse 5 of the first chapter.
Significant elements of Nehemiah’s prayer
There are important pieces of Nehemiah’s prayer that we can implement practically in ours. Although there isn’t a specific method we need to use to pray each time, it can be helpful to keep a few things in mind as we approach the throne of grace:
Nehemiah praised the Lord first.
I said, “Please, Lord God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps the covenant and faithfulness for those who love Him and keep His commandments:” (1:5 NASB)
Although his heart mourned, he didn’t hesitate to still praise the Lord for who He is. Nehemiah’s opinion of God didn’t change based on the situation at hand.
He offered up prayer for all the children of Israel, interceding on their behalf.
Let Your ear now be attentive and Your eyes open, to hear the prayer of Your servant which I am praying before You now, day and night, on behalf of the sons of Israel Your servants… (1:6)
Just as Nehemiah prayed on behalf of all the children of Israel, we as moms can (and should) intercede for our own children in prayer. This isn’t just a one-time thing. The Word calls us to be diligent in our prayers (1 Thessalonians 5:17), whether they’re for ourselves or others.
He confessed their sins, including himself and his family in the confession.
…confessing the sins of the sons of Israel which we have committed against You; I and my father’s house have sinned. We have acted very corruptly against You and have not kept the commandments, nor the statutes, nor the ordinances which You commanded Your servant Moses. (1:6-7)
Notice his use of “we” and not “they.” Many times we tend to see the wrongs and faults of our kids. Perhaps we take these things to the Lord, asking Him to change their hearts, make them more obedient, or to help them see their sin for what it is. Yet, we have to be careful to not only share the sins of our children. We also need to see our own sin in each situation and include ourselves in our confessions.
Yes, they disobeyed repeatedly, or talked back— but did you yell at your kids in the process? Did you lose self-control, or let your anger brew?
Nehemiah, although living in another land, was quick to realize that he was still a part of his people, and therefore still a part of the sins they'd committed.
He acknowledged that God kept His promises in the past. therefore, he came before the Lord with the hope that He would continue to keep His promises.
They are Your servants and Your people whom You redeemed by Your great power and by Your strong hand. Please, Lord, may Your ear be attentive to the prayer of Your servant and the prayer of Your servants who delight to revere Your name, and please make Your servant successful today and grant him mercy before this man. (1:10-11)
Think about times in your past when God was faithful. Write them down. Remember them. Often, when we’re in the thick of things, our brains tend to get foggy about our past. Making a habit of calling to remembrance what He’s done in our lives and the lives of our children helps us to be confident in the fact that He will do it again. The situation may not look the same, but His faithfulness does not change.
What makes an effective prayer?
Prayer is open, honest, raw, and genuine. The Lord wants us to bear our soul to Him, seeking His will for our lives, and coming to Him in faith.
But, prayers don’t have to be lengthy to be effective. When Nehemiah humbly went before the king to ask for permission to return to Jerusalem, the king asked him what he requested. We see at the end of verse 4, and the start of verse 5:
So I prayed to the God of heaven. (2:4) Then I said to the king… (2:5)
The text doesn’t say that Nehemiah stepped away from the king or that there was a long pause between the king’s question and Nehemiah’s response. Assumably then, this was a quick, silent prayer in comparison to the one we see in the first chapter.
Nehemiah prays silently as he is literally standing before the king.
I love this. Before answering, he prays. He could have just said whatever popped into his mind, but he inquired of the Lord before opening his mouth.
“Pray first. Speak second.”
And, if you read on, you’ll notice he asked for some very specific things from the king– letters with specific details for specific people. In verse 8, Nehemiah narrates the text, explaining that the king granted these things to him “because the good hand of my God was on me.”
The hand of God was on him because he prayed first and spoke second. His requests were able to come from a position of what the Lord wanted to happen in order to complete His plans and purposes, not from Nehemiah’s perspective and what he thought would be best.
Effective prayers seek the will of the Lord first.
Praying for your children: 5 TipS
There is no right or wrong way to pray over your children. Just do it! Bring them boldly to the Lord’s throne and lay them at His feet.
Gleaning from Nehemiah, here are a few things to keep in mind:
#1: CONSIDER THE STATE OF YOUR CHILDREN, just as Nehemiah did concerning the state of Jerusalem. What is going on in their lives? Where do they struggle? Are they feeling pressured? Living in distress? In what areas do they do well?
Some of these answers we can see, and some we may need to inquire of the Lord.
#2: TAKE THEIR “STATE” TO THE LORD. Ask the Lord to lead you to specific Scriptures you can pray over your children to battle those issues. Keep in mind that the “state of your children” changes as they grow, so this is a regular observation and reflection to be had by you as their mother.
#3: INTERCEDE FOR YOUR CHILDREN. As Nehemiah prayed for the children of Israel, you too need to intercede on your children’s behalf. If you aren’t regularly praying for your own children, who is?
#4: REMEMBER THE LORD’S FAITHFULNESS. In prayer, you can remember the Lord’s faithfulness in the past, which helps you to have hope in His faithfulness in the present. Knowing this truth keeps you from dwelling on the current struggles you face in motherhood or your children’s “state” now.
#5: DEVOTE TIME IN YOUR SCHEDULE TO PRAY. We’re busy moms, for sure. But, praying over your children is worth rearranging your schedule a bit so you can have ample time to take your cares and concerns before the Lord.
Remember His faithfulness to them in the past, and know that the good work that He started, He will complete (Philippians 1:6).
“Consider the state of your children. Where do they struggle? In what areas do they do well?”
So, sister, what do you request?
You see the distresses of our children, and as the king asked Nehemiah, “What do you request?” (Nehemiah 2:4). In the same fashion, typically you may ask yourself, What should I do?
Will you look at the situation and do what you think is best? Or, like Nehemiah, will you pray to the God of Heaven?
What would the Lord have you do? Sometimes He gives you numerous details. Sometimes He simply gives you the single next step to take.
I want the good hand of my God to be on me, especially in eternal matters– like the lives of my children.
How to pray Scriptures over your children
It sounds redundant, but sometimes you have to pray about what you should pray about. Meaning, you need to ask the Lord for deeper insight into your life and the lives of your children. When I’ve done this, He’s oftentimes led me to particular Scriptures (or lessons we can take from specific Scriptures) that I can pray.
I pray...
That my daughter would have the courage of Esther.
That she would understand pride comes before the fall (Proverbs 16:18).
That my son would have the steadfastness for the Lord, like Daniel.
That he would desire to only declare the truth (Proverbs 12:17).
That my children would grow in wisdom and stature, in favor of God and man (Luke 2:52).
That they’d find a friend like Jonathan. Jonathan and David’s relationship exemplifies honor, self-sacrifice, putting God’s plan for David ahead of self-interest, commitment, protection, and standing up for the other. (Read my guest post at Undoubted Grace about Godly Friendships!)
Each prayer has been placed on my heart for certain reasons, and it's encouraging to see various aspects of each come to fruition in different ways.
Sister, let’s be diligent to pray for our children without ceasing!
Are there specific things you’re praying over your children? Share in the comments below!
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15 Encouraging Psalms You Can Hold Onto
When we are struggling, going through a difficult season, or even experiencing joyful times– the Psalms is a great book in the Bible to turn to. In its many verses, you can find hope, strength, encouragement, and inspiration…
When we are struggling, going through a difficult season, or even experiencing joyful times– the Psalms is a great book in the Bible to turn to. In its many verses, we can find hope, strength, encouragement, and inspiration. But, in my opinion, one of the best things the Psalms do is help us keep our eyes focused on the Lord.
In good times, we have the natural tendency to focus on ourselves or how good our situation may be. It’s easy to forget to give God glory when we’re standing on a mountaintop.
In the hard times, it’s much easier to dwell on the situation at hand– how difficult it is, the many questions we may have, or the anxieties about the unknown outcome that we let fester within us. In our minds, we think we see clearly the things right in front of us.
Yet, what we see in this world we don’t truly see clearly. The sin, our limited thinking, and others’ input cloud our sight. We think the things of this world are more real than anything else– but, they’re not.
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The God of the universe is real. He is truer than anything we see, face, or perceive on this earth and in our lives.
But, sometimes we forget that. Am I right, sister? At least I know I do. I can’t see the forest for the trees, and I forget that I serve an amazing, strong, and mighty God who is all-knowing and all-powerful. He is over all things, and yes– that includes any circumstances we face right now.
So, whether you’re looking for Bible verses about hope, protection, encouragement, or guidance, the Psalms is a good place to start.
The Psalms we’ll visit in this post come from the first third of the book. Obviously, there are many more that could be listed. I encourage you to spend some time reading the rest of this beautifully written book and bask in His goodness!
So, let’s dive into my list of encouraging and powerful Psalms! Along the way, we’ll also discuss what we can learn from them, what they tell us about the Lord, and how to pray using the verses.
All scriptures are noted in ESV.
Psalms About Encouragement
If you’re looking for encouraging Bible verses, the Psalms is one of the best places to go. Maybe you’re like me– you have encouraging Scripture verses on your fridge, in your journal, or earmarked in your Bible. Let these sweet promises feed your soul today.
Psalm 27:13-14: “I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”
Psalm 31:24: “Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!”
Psalm 55:22: “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”
What we learn from these Psalms:
We can see the goodness of the Lord if we only look
We should wait for the Lord and His timing
The Lord calls us to be strong and take courage
We can cast our burdens on Him, knowing He’ll sustain us
What does the Lord do for us, according to these Psalms?
He calls us to wait on Him
He strengthens the hearts of those who wait on Him
He sustains us when we cast our burdens on Him
He doesn’t allow us to be moved
How can we pray these Psalms?
Dear Lord, You are so good. Thank you for strengthening me when I need it, and for not allowing me to be shaken or moved. I pray that I would willingly cast my cares and burdens on You, trusting that You’ll sustain me. Help me to wait for You, knowing You will strengthen my heart as I wait.
Psalms About the Lord’s Protection and Deliverance
How do you ask God for protection, and what does the Bible say about God keeping us safe?
Psalm 18:2-3: “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.”
Psalm 5:11-12: “But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O Lord; you cover him with favor as with a shield.”
Psalm 37:39: “The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.”
What we learn from these Psalms:
The Lord is our: rock, fortress, deliverer, shield, the horn of our salvation, and stronghold
We can take refuge in Him
We should praise the Lord, for He is worthy
We can rejoice and have joy in Him
We are covered in His favor
What does the Lord do for us, according to these Psalms?
He saves us from our enemies when we call on Him
He provides refuge
He spreads protection over us
He blesses the righteous
Salvation is from Him
How can we pray these Psalms?
Dear Lord, thank You for Your protection and deliverance from all my enemies. You save me in times of trouble. I can come to you for safety, knowing you are my shield. I praise You simply because You are worthy to be praised.
Psalms About the Lord’s Safety
What does the Bible say about safety and protection? Quite a bit, especially in the Psalms! Many of David’s psalms were written at times when he was in heavy distress while being pursued by his enemies. I love the raw, uncut passion, uneasiness, and vulnerability he often communicated; yet at the same time, he shared his hope in the Lord.
Psalm 4:8: “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”
Psalm 7:10: “My shield is with God, who saves the upright in heart.”
Psalm 62:6: “He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.”
What we learn from these Psalms:
We can lie down in peace
God is our shield
God is our rock, salvation, and fortress
What does the Lord do for us, according to these Psalms?
He makes us dwell in safety
He saves the upright in heart
He doesn’t allow us to be shaken
How can we pray these Psalms?
Dear Lord, I pray that You will not let me forget that You are the only safety net I need. You keep me in your care and protection, and when I am with You, I dwell safely. I know that I can sleep peacefully because Your presence is with me. I thank You that when I allow You to be my only rock, I cannot be moved.
Psalms About the Lord’s Guidance
What does the Bible say about making good decisions? The Lord is there for us, not only for protection and safety but also for guidance as well. God cares about our decision-making, and He wants us to make purposeful decisions that honor Him. But, how can we do that?
Psalm 16:8-11: “I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
Psalm 37:23: “The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way.”
What we learn from these Psalms:
Our first step is to set the Lord before us and our situations
The Lord is at our right hand
We can dwell securely because of His presence
In His presence, there is joy and pleasures
We can delight in the way He has for us
His presence should make our hearts glad and rejoice
What does the Lord do for us, according to these Psalms?
He is the one who establishes our steps
He does not allow us to be shaken
He keeps us secure
He does not abandon us or allow us to see corruption
He allows His path for us to be known by us
How can we pray these Psalms?
Dear Lord, I know so many times in my life I want to be the first to take the reigns. Yet, this is not what You prefer for me I’m thankful that You always have a path for me. I pray that You’d help me always to set You and only You before my thoughts and my actions. You keep me secure and You don’t abandon me. When I am tempted to direct my own steps, I pray that You would guide me back to Your way, where I can experience Your fullness of joy.
Psalms About the Lord’s Care For Us
Psalm 23 is a favorite when answering the question, How does God care for us? We see Him in this Psalm as the Shepherd, leading and caring for His precious sheep— us. As we’ve learned so far, His protection, safety, and guidance all contribute to the tangible ways in which He cares for His own.
Psalm 23:6: “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
Psalm 33:18: “Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love.”
Psalms 34:17: “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.”
Psalms 40:1-3: “I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.”
What we learn from these Psalms:
We can cry for help, being confident the Lord will hear us
The Lord will deliver us from our troubles
We will dwell in the house of the Lord forever
We should fear (reverence) Him, and keep our hope in His love
We need to patiently wait for the Lord
When we praise Him, others will take notice and put their trust in Him
What does the Lord do for us, according to these Psalms?
He pursues us with His goodness and mercy
He watches over us
He not only hears our cries but answers them as well
He delivers us from our troubles
He pulls us up from the pit that tries so desperately to keep us ensnared, and sets our feet upon a rock
He puts songs of praise in our mouths
How can we pray these Psalms?
Dear Lord, when I am down, stuck, and feel there is no way out, I’m thankful that You set me upon Your solid rock. You keep Your eye on me and listen for my cry. Thank You for responding and delivering me, time and time again. I ask that You help me to wait patiently on You, not taking matters into my own hands. Help me to remember that You will always come. And, when You put that sweet song in my mouth, may I sing it unabashedly so that You can be glorified and praised to all the people.
Free Bible Study: Finding Trust, Praise, and Faithfulness in the Psalms
I pray this list of encouraging Psalms Bible verses has helped you see more clearly who the Lord is and what He does for you when you trust in Him. In order for you to continue your study of His goodness, I have a gift for you: a FREE Bible Study!
The Finding Trust, Praise, and Faithfulness in the Psalms Bible Study will focus on several Psalms that talk about the topics of trust, praise, and faithfulness. The 16-page study will follow a similar format as above, inviting you to ponder what you can learn from the verses, what the Lord says He will do, and finally, space to write a prayer.
Download YOUR FREE Bible Study using the form below.
What are your favorite encouraging Bible verses? Let me know in the comments below!
Spirit-Led Parenting
The way you parent your children has an eternal impact. When things are tough and behavior is out of sorts, how are you responding to your kids? How do you treat them when you’re disciplining them? Even when you’re upset and they’re disobedient, are you treating them the way you’d want to be treated? Are you relying on the Spirit to direct you? Here are 6 powerful tips to help you allow the Spirit to lead you in leading your children.
Yes, I’m going there…let’s talk about how to stop yelling at our kids.
Now, I know some of you are hesitant to read this because you’re not a yeller. If this is you, praise the Lord for self-control. I really mean that— praise the Lord! However, I encourage you to keep scrolling as there are some insightful things in this article that will be shared. Things you may not realize you’re doing, even if you aren’t prone to raising your voice. For the rest of us who do raise our voices from time to time, allow me to share a few things the Lord has been stirring in my heart.
First, let me start with the fact that as Christians, we are free in Christ.
What Does the Bible Say About Freedom in Christ?
Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. (Galatians 5:1)
In Christ, believers are called to freedom. Through His death and resurrection, Christ has set you free. You’re no longer bound to the Law and you’re not a slave to sin.
For he who has died has been freed from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him. For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:7-11)
As a believer, you died with Christ, and this verse in Romans states that you are freed from sin. You’re not only dead to sin, but alive to God. There are no chains. We are truly free.
Yet, this freedom is not a “do whatever you want” card.
For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. (Galatians 5:13)
What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? (Romans 6:1-2)
Your freedom in Christ is not an opportunity to live in the flesh and fulfill all of your desires, knowing God will forgive you. Because your heart is now “freed up” from the chains of sin, you have the ability, and hopefully, the desire to live according to the Lord’s will for your life, making decisions that please Him. You can truly serve one another through love, which can only be done properly through Christ.
So What Does This Have to Do With Spirit-Led Parenting?
…And, how do we get to the place where we’re truly serving our children through Christ’s love?
Before we can tackle these questions, I believe we need to answer: Who is the Holy Spirit and what does He do?
The Holy Spirit is God, the third person of the Trinity (the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). He is in fact a “He”, not a “what,” as He is sometimes mistakenly referenced. Jesus told His disciples that the Father would send a Helper who would dwell with them and in them.
And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. (John 14:16-17)
Let’s remember that when you received Christ as your Savior, the Holy Spirit took up residence in you (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). He is with you always to guide, help, teach, comfort, and intercede in prayer for you. He is ready and willing to lead you on the best paths for your life. And, we learn from Psalm 25:10, that, “All the paths of the Lord are faithfulness and truth.” In your parenting, you can be led by the Holy Spirit.
The question is: Are you willing to be led?
If you’ve read my article about finding rest in busy motherhood, you’ll remember that when things are in disarray and behavior is out of control, my default is to get frustrated. This leads to nothing but weariness. Essentially, what I am doing is reverting back to being a slave to sin at that moment. So, how can I be led by the Holy Spirit instead?
As we discussed above, in Christ, we are called to freedom. However, just because my heart is freed up from the chains of sin doesn’t mean that I have chosen to walk in the Spirit right then and there. It’s a choice. We’ll get to more on that later.
First, let’s talk about another choice we have. This choice is in terms of how we treat our children: Loving Your Neighbor vs. Devouring Each Other.
For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another! (Galatians 5:14-15)
How to Love Your Neighbor
Let’s be honest. Sometimes my children’s behavior gets a little out of sorts, if you will. There is bickering, talking back, delayed obedience, and the like. My patience runs thin more times a day than I care to admit.
If your season of motherhood looks anything like mine, when these times hit, how are you responding to your kids? How do you treat them when you’re disciplining them? Even when you’re upset or they’re being very disobedient, are you treating them the way you’d want to be treated?
Are you looking out for their interests (helping them to develop a godly character that lives for the Lord; teaching them to be aware of their sin and the need for repentance; showing them to be kind and forgiving), OR are you only looking out for your own interests (can I have a little peace and quiet, please?!)?
Paul warns us about this:
Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. (Philippians 2:4)
He urges you not to do things only with your own selfish ambitions in mind. I believe this can apply to serving others, including your spouse and children.
Spirit-Led parenting requires a little more than just looking out for yourself, right?
When you parent in the flesh, the times of dissatisfactory behavior in your children call for yelling, ordering your kids around, and hard discipline tactics that shout, “Do as you’re told, now!”
Let’s think about what happens when you constantly yell at your child. I use this illustration with myself at times: Put yourself in your child’s shoes. Imagine someone a foot or two taller than you who is yelling and barking orders at you all day.
Now, picture yourself at your workplace, or a place where you’re working under another’s authority. Visualize what it’d be like if that authority figure was constantly making demands over your shoulder, or yelling at you every time you messed up. Likely, you’d be stressed, annoyed, fearful, and unproductive.
Do you parent like this? Full disclosure– sometimes I do. It’s very fleshly, and unloving.
Of course, you need to correct, discipline, and teach your children the importance of obedience. However, in doing so, your actions need to show that you love your neighbor. Jesus used words, stories, and parables many times to correct people’s actions or way of thinking. He didn’t lose his temper and yell at them because they didn’t get it.
Listen– there’s a time to flip tables in holy anger and a time for stern, but loving correction in other forms.
How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids
Raising your voice all the time– it’s so easy to do, especially when you’ve repeated yourself a million times (Bonus tip: Don’t repeat yourself a million times!).
A great first step at loving your neighbor (in this case, your child) is to stay calm when your child won’t listen, or when there is fighting, arguing, and just flat-out disobedience going on. Here are a few things the Lord has put on my heart, that I too am working on as I learn more and more how to rely on the Spirit in my parenting.
#1: PRAY FIRST.
Before opening your mouth, pray. Ask the Lord to guide you in how to handle the situation.
I recently heard an illustration that outlines the difference between reacting and responding.
Think of medicine. When you’re taking medication, if you react to it, that normally means something bad. Your body rejected it or perhaps you’re having an allergic reaction. However, if your doctor tells you that you are responding to the medication, that typically means something good. It’s working well, and you’ll likely have a positive outcome.
Stepping into a situation without praying first is reacting. There’s very little thought, just emotions; and it ignites a bad reaction in others.
But, when you pray about it first, the Lord calms your heart and gives you wisdom. This opens up the door for us to respond well because it is a Spirit-led response.
#2: HELP YOUR CHILD SEE the moment through the eyes of the Lord.
Tell him you understand-- things can be hard, frustrating, and unfair at times. Siblings take toys, push each other, and fight, yes– but God calls you to first repent of your own sin and accept His forgiveness. He doesn’t call you to retaliate against those who do you wrong. Teach him these truths. The Lord is more concerned with your child’s heart than making sure he gets his way. And, everything isn’t as big of an issue as your child may think— he needs to come to realize this too!
#3: HELP YOUR CHILD UNDERSTAND how he has sinned.
Using God’s character as a guide, explain to him why what he did was wrong. Be mindful of your words– instead of simply telling him that he shouldn’t lie, show him that the Lord is Truth (John 14:6) and the Lord desires him to have a heart that portrays His character. You can say, “Don’t hit your sister back”, but it’s much more impactful to point him to Scripture that clearly states that he shouldn’t take vengeance into his own hands and why (Romans 12:17-19).
Going deeper in your conversations with your child implants the character of the Lord in his heart, and heart change only happens through the Word and by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Remember-- you want your child to grow up making good decisions because they what to honor the Lord and display godly character in a dark world, not just because they have a bunch of rules they've been conditioned to follow.
#4: TEACH YOUR CHILD how to pray about it.
Lead your child in a prayer asking the Lord for forgiveness and for help to overcome this sin. If your child sees you stop and pray before you respond, he will begin to understand why he should stop and pray during tough situations. This also gets your child in the habit of taking his troubles before the Lord, as opposed to shouldering them himself.
#5: TEACH YOUR CHILD HOW TO EXTEND GRACE to those who’ve wronged him.
You can help your child calmly communicate to the other party how he feels, and what he believes was wrong. This opens up the door for the other person to offer an apology. Without communication, apologies seldom come. From here, it’s important that your child knows how to accept the apology and offer forgiveness, just as Jesus did for us. Of course, he also needs to be willing to offer apologies to those he's wronged as well.
#6: PRAY AGAIN.
Group hug and group prayer, anyone? Thanking God through prayer at the end of a resolved conflict can help your child understand that everything that just occurred wasn’t by his own power or might, but by the Lord’s. Make it clear that it was the Lord who softened his heart, helped him to gain a better understanding, and gave him the power to forgive.
What You're Doing Has An Eternal Impact
You see, discipline is more than just a punishment dished out because your child didn’t do what he was told. We are to train a child up in the way he should go, not only teaching him how to have a heart that is after God’s own heart, but also showing him the importance of living a Spirit-led life.
Doesn’t that sound better than flying off the handle? Does this take more time and effort than simply yelling until he obeys? Of course. But the impact you’re making in your child’s life is far more positive and eternal.
Remember, the more you lose your temper, the more likely it is that your children will lose their cool, which leads us to the opponent of what we just discussed.
Biting & Devouring Each Other
On the flip side, walking out quarrelsome situations in the flesh looks entirely different. In Galatians 5:15, Paul refers to biting and devouring each other. I don’t know about you, but this terminology makes me envision wild animals that are at odds with each other.
Another full disclosure– sometimes this happens in my home too. Allow me to illustrate this vicious cycle:
Let’s say there is the issue of playing fair between the children. When one person lashes out in anger, it’s easy for those involved to lose their cool and do the same thing. A parent steps in, and without stopping to pray about it first, she or he gets heated up as well.
Next, all become selfish in the process, each wanting to defend their own “rights” and actions. The parent wants fair, cordial play to happen, the fighting to end, and everyone to obey. For the kids, defending their rights comes in the form of defending their own disobedience, whether it was against their sibling or the parent.
Said parent continues to get more upset at the lack of respect and disobedience, while the kid(s) tries harder to defend his rights– which of course leads to further anger and disobedience.
With my own kids, I see that this process doesn’t allow them to see their sin for what it is. It makes them focus only on themselves and gain a prideful attitude as they try to defend the reasons why they were right or how they didn’t mess up.
When there’s too much anger brewing, there's too much pride that comes along with it.
Vicious Cycle, Exhibit A: My kids sin. They see me sin by the way I react to their sin, so they continue to sin in the ways they defend themselves (words, more disobedience, bucking at punishment). Then, I continue to sin in anger. Case in point: We devour each other.
Instead, handling situations with the kids in a way that is “loving your neighbor” gives them the opportunity to see and feel love, which puts them in a place where they’re more open to reflect on their sin and repent for it.
This is what Jesus did for us on the cross. He didn't force us to repent by yelling at us to accept Him and fall in line. He loved us and showed us love, which allows us to see our sin for what it is and repent.
How To Keep From Devouring One Another: Walk in the Spirit
I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. (Galatians 5:16)
This verse sums it up for you. You can’t walk in both the Spirit and the flesh at the same time. It’s almost as if it works by default. If you are diligent to walk in the Spirit, by default you won’t have the desire to fulfill the lust of the flesh– at least not on a consistent basis.
You can choose to not walk in the Spirit, and instead, do your best to simply avoid the deeds of the flesh; however, this will prove to be difficult because you’re relying on yourself to do it in your own strength. Even if this is a possible strategy for you, please note: simply avoiding the deeds of the flesh does not make you walk in the Spirit. This does not happen by default.
How can you know this? Because, Paul didn’t say, “Do not fulfill the lust of the flesh, and you will walk in the Spirit.” You have to choose to walk in the Spirit and to be led by Him. The Lord always wants you to willingly choose to walk with Him. Then, and only then will you be powered by Him, able to live according to His Word.
How Do You Know If You Are Walking in the Spirit?
When you allow yourself to be led by the Spirit in your parenting, you will see His fruit evident in how you treat your children. There will be more patience in your responses; more kindness, and definitely more self-control. You won’t act out the first reaction that comes to mind; you’ll let the Spirit be your guide. In other words, the fruit of the Spirit manifests in your life when you walk in the Spirit.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)
If you’ve ever studied the fruit of the Spirit, then you know that’s a completely different Bible study in and of itself. We won’t go through each of them now, but just know that things like peace, patience, self-control (read: no more yelling!), and gentleness are all amazing traits you want floating around your household. Imagine a world where all in your house are exhibiting this fruit daily.
Living in the Spirit vs. Walking in the Spirit
And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. (Galatians 5:24-25)
I have one last, important comparison for you. I think it’s important to note the difference between living in the Spirit and walking in the Spirit.
We “live in the Spirit” by default because of Christ’s death and resurrection. As stated previously, as believers, we are in Christ and Christ is in us. The Holy Spirit dwells within us.
Although this is true, and as we also already covered– “walking in the Spirit” is not by default. In verse 25, Paul says the words, “let us also…” The word also implies that these are two separate things– one that happens by default when we accept Christ as our Savior (living in the Spirit); and the other, a choice we have to make on a regular basis (walking in the Spirit).
Is Your Tree Planted By the Living Water?
So, sister– are you abiding in the Lord, and drawing from Him on a daily basis? How’s your fruit? Are there some that are more evident in your parenting than others? I know that is certainly true for me. I encourage you to spend time studying the fruit of the Spirit and take inventory in your life.
Spirit-led parenting leads us down a path that is more loving and gentle because we are choosing to let the Spirit lead us in leading our children. As Paul said, if we in fact live in the Spirit, why not also make the decision to walk in the Spirit– and therefore enjoy all of the benefits of a well-watered life?
Let’s link arms together and purpose to walk no other path than the one the Lord has for us in every moment. Lay down your fleshly deeds and desires: your “rights” and your need to make your children fall in line. Instead, let’s teach them how to fall in love– in love with our Savior, His character, the blessings, and the fruit He has in store for them when they choose to live Spirit-led lives.
Which fruit of the Spirit are the most evident in your parenting? Which ones do you need to take before the Lord for help? Share with me in the comments below!
How To Stop Feeling Guilty About Your Mistakes: 8 Powerful Tips
Guilt is heavy. It wears you down, tires you out, and makes you feel like the worst (mom, co-worker, leader, friend) ever. And you should feel like this, right? Maybe. In order to shed this self-imposed guilt, you don’t need to look at the situation from a different perspective…
As a mom, there are seven words I never want to hear at the start of a sentence:
“Does anyone know whose child this is?”
Unfortunately, these words reached my ears before. When I heard them, I turned in the direction of the adult voice asking the question, hoping to see a kind woman sitting with someone else’s child, comforting someone else’s child, and with a helpful hand upon the shoulder of someone else’s child. Except, it was not someone else’s child…it was my child.
How did this happen? I didn’t even hear her crying. I’d know her voice and cry anywhere. In a crowd full of noisy children, if she yelled “Mommy!” I’d know it was her with my eyes closed and earplugs in, right? Not that day. Let me set the scene for you.
It was summertime, several years ago. My family and I were at a park, meeting a few friends and their kids for a playdate. Some of us hadn’t seen each other in a couple of years, so it was a time we were all looking forward to. Everyone was excited.
As soon as we arrived at the park, my kids hopped out of the car, raced to the playground, and began climbing, sliding, and having a blast. I was standing in the playground area where I could see them, and where I could watch for our other friends as they arrived. A few minutes passed. It was the moment I turned my back to hug the last set of friends who arrived. We began to chat, and it was then that I heard the words…
“Does anyone know whose child this is?”
I turned. She was crying. No, not crying. Bawling her eyes out. My daughter. MY DAUGHTER. I was just watching her, and she was fine. How did this happen? The kind woman helping her probably thought I was a neglectful parent.
My daughter, five years old at the time, sat on the ground holding her chin, which was bleeding profusely. She was crying so hard that she was gasping for breath and couldn’t make out any words. Ok, no big deal, I thought. I’m trained in first aid, so no need to panic. I know what to do. But the gash in her chin was too deep and it wouldn’t stop bleeding, so, leaving my husband, son, and our friends at the park, our joyful, fun-filled gathering turned into a trip to the local urgent care center.
En route to the center, my daughter finally stopped crying and calmed down enough to talk. I asked her what happened. She was climbing one of the miniature “rock climbing” walls that decorate the sides of most playground equipment these days. She got to the very top and was so proud of herself... until she realized she couldn’t get back down. She yelled for one of her bigger and older friends to help, but no one heard her.
Then she spoke another set of words that I, as a mom, never wanted to hear—
“I was crying and kept calling for you mommy, but you didn’t come.”
Until then, I was calm and level-headed, but at that moment all I could do was cry my eyes out and tell her how sorry I was. I was glad that one of my friends had actually come along for the ride to help and to offer mother-to-mother moral support. I sure needed it right then because those words stung. I never wanted my daughter to believe that I wouldn’t come for her, or that I wouldn’t be there for her when she needed me the most.
Enter guilt, center stage.
Guilt is heavy. I mean, really, really heavy. It wears you down, tires you out, and makes you feel like the worst (mom, co-worker, leader, friend) ever. And you should feel like this, right?
Right—only if it is true and well-deserved guilt. You know, like the kind of guilt you have when you’ve actually, purposely done something of which you should be guilty. You lied. You cheated. You stole. You flew off the handle just because you were having a bad day, and took out all of your frustration on the poor, innocent soul who was listening, unfairly tearing him down. You ruined a relationship. Your actions broke trust…that kind of guilt. With this guilt, you more than likely sinned in some way and therefore you need to repent. These are the things that need to be confessed before the Lord.
In other words, this guilt is useful if it leads you to repentance.
Self-Imposed Guilt
But what about the self-imposed guilt that comes when you make an honest mistake, a miscalculation, or when something just doesn’t go the way you planned and somehow it’s “all your fault”?
That seems to be the time when you blame yourself for your shortcomings and put yourself down the most. You treat yourself poorly, condemn yourself, and dig up thoughts and feelings of hopelessness. Don’t get me wrong— I am all about personal responsibility, but sometimes I can take the self-blame game too far. I heap heavy piles of guilt on my shoulders and expect to walk around for the rest of the day (or week) handling my business like nothing is weighing me down. I put on my smile, talk sweetly to my husband and kids, and answer all of my texts with a bunch of exclamation points and emojis. Can you relate?
Who am I fooling? Who are you fooling?
No one, you think. I’m not fooling anyone. Everyone can see I’m guilty. All the fingers are pointing at me.
Nope. Only your own finger is pointing at you.
The Guilt Experience
I like the way Wikipedia defines guilt as an experience: “a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person believes or realizes—accurately or not—that he or she has compromised his or her own standards of conduct or has violated a universal moral standard and bears significant responsibility for that violation.”
Did you get that part? Accurately or not. News flash-- what you think is not always accurate. What you believe about yourself is definitely not always accurate.
In order to shed this self-imposed guilt, you don’t need to look at the situation from a different perspective—you need to look at yourself from a different perspective.
8 Practical Tips To Help You Eliminate Guilt
#1: Pray.
As a daughter of the King, you have the invitation and access to approach His throne and lay out your wants, desires, and struggles before Him. When you’re going through a tough time— physically, emotionally, or mentally— and you’ve skipped right over praying about it, all you’ve done is hopped in the car and started circling the block over and over…and over. You don’t have the power to change your perspective on your own. You need the help of the God who created you to show you who you are, the true intentions of your heart, and the way He sees you. I’d encourage you to ask Him specifically to show you these things. What He reveals to you may drastically change whether or not you believe the guilt you’re feeling is warranted.
#2: Stop.
Just stop. Stop the self-pity. Stop the anger. Stop replaying the situation in your head like it’s your favorite scene from a movie. Stop wishing you could go back in time and change what you did. Physically stop for a second, sit down, and relax. Stop immediately blaming yourself and putting yourself down. If you messed up, own it, seek forgiveness, then move on. It’s counterproductive to continue beating yourself down. This is false guilt. If you struggle with this, go back to Tip #1: Pray. Wash, rinse, repeat. I’ll say it again. Pray. Ask the Lord how He sees you so He can help you change your perspective. Psalm 139:17-18 says,
“How precious also are Your thoughts for me, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the sand.”
The Lord thinks good thoughts about those who are His. He sees you as flawless and righteous due to the blood of Jesus. Yes, even when you mess up. Even when you forget to pray. Even when you aren’t watching your children closely enough. Would the negative thoughts in your own head outweigh the good thoughts the Lord has of you? So many of us act like they do, otherwise, we wouldn’t beat ourselves up so much. This is nothing but pride. Practice seeing yourself as the Lord sees you.
#3: Start.
When you begin to see yourself as the Lord does, He’ll show you the areas within you that He wants to work on and grow. Talk to a confidant— someone who will listen to you, pray with you, and be honest with you. Maybe you did something wrong. Perhaps, you do in fact need to apologize to someone or explain the situation from your point of view to help that person understand why you did what you did. Go and do that. Again, if you are guilty of a sin, confess it to the Lord and repent. Truly repent, which means to turn away from it. Lean on the Holy Spirit and rely on Him to direct your steps.
#4: Read Romans chapter 8.
Just read it. I’m not going to tell you what it says. Grab your Bible, go read it, and be encouraged. In Him, there is no condemnation and no separation. No matter what.
#5: Reverse.
Do you know the “Reverse” card in the game UNO? When you lay it down, it reverses the order of play among the players. Once in a while, we need to lay down a “reverse.” If you worked late and missed spending time with your kids, take a day off or plan a special family time for the weekend. If you were late to a meeting, next time, make a point to be super early. It may be the simplest gesture or act, but sometimes that’s all we need to feel we’ve mentally “gotten back” at the self-imposed guilt we’re feeling.
But, let me be clear: doing something “opposite” of what you’re feeling guilty about doesn’t somehow make you worthy before the Lord.
He is not sitting around waiting for you to redeem yourself and atone for your own sins. You’re already forgiven by Him, through Christ. What I mean by playing a “reverse” is that sometimes it just mentally helps you forget about the mistake you made when you do the opposite, because it reminds you that you are not your mistake.
Three hours and three stitches later, my daughter was as good as new. She was happy, completely trusting in me as her mama (even though the negative voice in my head was telling me I’d “failed her”), and asked if she could play on the playground when we got back to the park. And yes, she did play-- with no fear, no regrets, and no holding back.
Instead of letting her play, I could have told her we were done for the day in an effort to try to protect her from being hurt again, but that would have been about my guilt and insecurities, not hers. So, she played, and I watched her (albeit, like a hawk), and her enjoyment and satisfaction of a “park well played” allowed me to leave with a little less guilt on my shoulders at the end of the day. This was my “reverse”.
#6: Believe that there are no coincidences.
Everything you do, every mistake you make, and every amazing thing you do can be used by the Lord in His perfect plan for your life.
“For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for prosperity and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
We truly were created on purpose (no mistakes), for a purpose (even if you don’t know it yet, it’s there), and with a specific purpose (your life has meaning). So “that thing” you feel guilty about—well, it happened for a reason. Sure, maybe it wasn’t something the Lord would have wanted you to do. Maybe you were disobedient. Or maybe it really was just an honest, sincere mistake. Either way, did you learn from it, become humbled by it, and grow through it? Will you remember that lesson when you need to in the future?
Sometimes it’s not about the rock climbing wall or the mother’s back that was turned. It may not even be about YOU. Ever think of that? Just because you were the self-proclaimed star of the show doesn’t mean it was your name that was in lights. Just know that you don’t have to be defined by a single event in your life if you don’t want to be. The Lord can redeem anything if you give it to Him and allow Him to.
#7: Pray again.
Broken records, reruns, instant replays...your mind works like this. You’ve got to hand this over to the Lord. Continue earnestly in prayer over the thoughts you’re struggling with. Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5) and allow Him to handle it. The Lord knows your thoughts and your heart, but He still wants you to speak to Him about it all.
#8: Know where you stand.
Remember there is a difference between your self-imposed, made-up guilt, and actually being guilty. Romans 3:23 says,
“...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”.
We all sin. We fall short. We all are literally guilty. But you, daughter of the King, have Jesus who stepped in and took the blame for your sins. He bore your guilt and shame. In Him, you are seen as righteous before the Father.
It’s important to remember, in humility, what Christ’s death has done for you so you never forget why you need a Savior. However, be sure you don’t let the devil convict you of and condemn you for your sins. He loves to make sure you never forget them. Heaping all of that self-imposed guilt onto your head puts you in a mental state that leaves the door open for his schemes. But, Jesus loves to remind you that you are forgiven, and through His death on the cross, the Lord has already forgotten all the wrongs you, for whatever reason, try so hard to remember.
Be A Woman After God’s Own Heart
We can end by joining David in his praise to the Lord for His mercies. This same David, who, despite the many mistakes he made throughout his life of which he was guilty, truly guilty— the Lord still called a man after God’s own heart.
Bless the Lord, my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the Lord, my soul,
And do not forget any of His benefits;
Who pardons all your guilt,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with favor and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
The Lord performs righteous deeds
And judgments for all who are oppressed.
He made known His ways to Moses,
His deeds to the sons of Israel.
The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
Slow to anger and abounding in mercy.
He will not always contend with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor rewarded us according to our guilty deeds.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him.
As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our wrongdoings from us.
Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
For He Himself knows our form;
He is mindful that we are nothing but dust. (Psalm 103:1-14)
Are you a woman after God’s own heart? I know you purpose to be. Seek Him in the midst of your guilt and allow Him to work in you.
Living for the Lord on Purpose
God is the only one you should be concerned with pleasing. Does this mean that you should purposefully disappoint others, or not care if you accidentally do? Not at all. But God’s ways are higher than man’s ways, and you can’t live life solely focused on what others think.
Why?
A Brief Note of Encouragement
We live in a world that offers a lot of advice on the topic of ‘how to live your life on purpose.’ Advice will tell you to follow your dreams, pursue your passions, and live how you want to live-- according to your morals and beliefs. While there is nothing wrong with having aspirations or things you wish to accomplish, when your only purpose in life is to do what you want to do and live how you want to live, you're missing the boat-- especially as a Christian. The following has nothing to do with living for yourself, as I don't believe that is what God calls His children to do.
The excerpt I'm sharing below is from an old journal entry from 5/21/2007. Unbeknownst to me, those many years ago, God was preparing me to not only think about how to live my life on purpose but also how to encourage others to live on purpose. I guess you could say that this blog had its conception way back then. Originally, I wrote these words as if speaking to myself; but today, I speak them to you.
Live for the Lord on purpose.
His glory should be reflected in your face, your words, and your actions. Each day, everything you do should reflect Christ’s character. Once you’ve accepted Christ and put your complete trust and faith in Him, you are being transformed into His image, from glory to glory (2 Corinthians 3:18). It is up to you to show this to others– not for recognition or a pat on the back, but because it gives glory to God.
What is your purpose in life?
To glorify God.
God is the only one you should be concerned with pleasing. Does this mean that you should purposefully disappoint others, or not care if you accidentally do? Not at all. But God’s ways are higher than man’s ways, and you can’t live life solely focused on what others think.
Why?
Because others have their faces veiled if they are not in Christ; they will not see you or the things of the Lord clearly. Fifty percent of the time they will question the things you do, and the rest of the time they may criticize you. The veil keeps them from obtaining true understanding. But-- you have a clear vision, and by leading them to Christ, their veil will be lifted. Wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom (2 Corinthians 3:15-17).
Your life should reflect the Lord, what He has already done, and what He continues to do every day. Regardless of what others do or say, this will leave a trace of hope in their lives.
don’t hide the Lord’s work in your life
Live out God’s Word. Don’t shy away from His instruction during your interactions with others. Your life may be the only “version” of the Bible they've ever read up to that point. Be Christ-like in all you do. This will glorify God.
When you choose to hide the Lord’s work in your life, you are being selfish and seeking to stay comfortable. I know; I’ve been there. I can clearly remember times when I didn't speak up to defend the Lord or give Him the glory for something He’d done in my life. However, in doing this, you seek to only receive glory for yourself because it gives off the false impression that all you have and all you’ve been through has been made possible by you.
It’s that age-old battle of “In you alone vs. In Christ alone.”
show less of yourself
Do you have spiritual gifts? (Say yes!) Don’t waste them by keeping them to yourself. If you’re not sure what they are, pray. If you’re not sure how to use them, pray.
Display who you are in Christ so He can be glorified in you. Show others less of yourself and more of Christ.
Less your way. More YAHWEH.
seek the lord
Above all else, SEEK HIM. Seek His Word, His truth, and all that He is. Purpose to know Him. The more you know the Lord, the more you'll yearn to please Him, and not yourself. In pleasing God, you will see just how pleasing He is to you.
The Christian’s purpose in life is to glorify God, enjoy Him, and promote His plans. Sister, today I beseech you to live your life on purpose.
Original journal entry written by Shanna Ream in 2007, with a few additional notes added in 2021.
When you feel blocked and are facing hindrances to prayer, what do you do? That desire to pray, even when it feels dry…