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To the Woman Who Can't See Her True Beauty
No matter what the world tells you real beauty should look like. No matter who is on the cover of the trendiest magazine. No matter what the…
A Brief Note of Encouragement
Sister, come on in. Grab a cup of coffee. Have a seat. Listen to me very closely:
You are a woman of incorruptible beauty.
No matter what the world tells you real beauty should look like. No matter who is on the cover of the trendiest magazine. No matter what the mean girls said to you when you were in high school.
You are a woman of incorruptible beauty.
No matter how that outfit fits you today. No matter how much that bad haircut gives you a perpetual bad hair day. No matter how unkempt you feel as you look at the Instagram of the latest beauty influencer.
You are a woman of incorruptible beauty.
Even though you believe you are the least put-together mom in the car line. Even though your shoes are less fashionable than those of the woman sitting in the row behind you at church. Even though your co-worker’s latest highlights give her that flawless summer look, and you haven’t had your hair professionally done in 10 months.
You are a woman of incorruptible beauty.
Even though you compared your non-workout physique to your friend’s sculpted body yesterday. Even though you are rarely complimented on your outward appearance. Even though the mom next to you gave you a sideways glance as you fed your children cheeseballs for a snack instead of organic, sugar-free granola bars.
You are a woman of incorruptible beauty.
Even if I’ve never seen you, I can say you possess beauty. Imperishable beauty. The type of beauty that no one can ever strip from you.
Why?
your beauty comes from the Lord.
1 Peter 3:3-4 tells us that our adornment shouldn’t solely be our outward appearance, but instead, it should be the hidden person of the heart.
A heart that yearns for the Lord. A heart that trusts in Him. A heart that desires to know Him more deeply.
A heart wherein its satisfaction, value, and worth come from the Lord produces an incorruptible beauty in the form of a gentle and quiet spirit.
This type of beauty doesn’t change with the trends. It’s not validated by the amount of Instagram likes it receives. It doesn’t go out of style.
“So the King will greatly desire your beauty; because He is your Lord, worship Him.”
A quiet spirit is incorruptible beauty.
Quietness means there is rest, peace, and calm. You can focus on the Lord in quietness. In the quietness of the Lord’s presence, you drown out the noise of the world shouting what “true beauty” is. This quietness means you are “undisturbed from without”.
As you lead a quiet life, keeping your focus on the calling the Lord has placed in your own life, you honor Him (1 Thessalonians 4:11). Because you see— this “hidden person” is not really hidden. She is not hidden from the Lord. He sees the inner place of your heart; the quietness of your soul.
A gentle spirit is incorruptible beauty.
The gentleness you portray in your thoughts, actions, words, and deeds is beauty in the sight of others. Because you desire to be gentle and lowly in heart, like Jesus, you are beautiful. In this humility, you find rest for your soul (Matthew 11:29).
A fear of the Lord is incorruptible beauty.
In your humble fear of the Lord, you glorify Him. And, let it be known that incorruptible beauty exudes from within you when you glorify Him.
Because you seek the Lord, yearn for Him, and get to know Him better, you are a woman who fears the Lord.
Because you fear the Lord, your beauty is hidden inside the deepest depths of you. It is precious to God.
You, yes you, are precious to God.
And your beauty can never be stripped away.
Your reverence to your Lord is incorruptible beauty. Your respect and biblical submission to your husband is incorruptible beauty. Walking out the fruit of the Spirit in your parenting is incorruptible beauty. Honoring the Lord in your quiet time is incorruptible beauty.
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”
Sister, today I encourage you to know your worth.
Understand your value in the Lord. Meditate on the fact that you are a daughter of the King. Remember the mercy He sheds and how His grace abounds in your life.
sister, today I exhort you to look in the mirror.
Look in the Lord’s mirror– this morning; before you go to bed; tomorrow; next week. The reflection He provides you with outshines whatever standard of beauty the world is dying to impose upon you.
The world’s charm is deceitful and its definition of beauty is ever-fleeting. Don’t give in to these things.
No– today, purpose to wear your quiet and gentle spirit well. Fashion yourself in the fear of the Lord.
Can you see it, sister? Do you see yourself in the mirror?
You look like someone who is precious in the sight of God.
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3 Ways Pride Manifests in Motherhood
Should I be a proud mom? I think this question crosses a lot of our minds when we think of our kids. There is nothing wrong with…
Recently my daughter and oldest son were playing a game where my daughter was a princess. They came to the dinner table and when I called her name to ask her to do something, she politely responded with a correction: “It’s Princess, mom.”
They continued their pretend play throughout dinner using their make-believe names, while my husband and I (the humble peasants, perhaps?) looked on.
After dinner, as usual, it was time for the kids to do their chores. As my daughter began to walk away from the table, I reminded her that it was her turn to sweep the floor.
“But I’m a princess,” she said. “Princesses don't do chores.” She said it with a smile, jokingly, and in character. I knew she was just being silly.
Unfortunately for her, my imagination switch wasn’t turned on at the moment. It had been a tiring day, I wasn’t feeling well, and even with the completion of their chores, I knew I still had clean-up work of my own to do. I needed to not be the one who also swept.
I gave her a look, and in all serious (with a little sass) I replied,
“Jesus is the King and He washed people’s feet.”
“Oh. Oh yeah.” With a slight grin in her “aha” moment, she did an about-face and marched to get the broom.
The proud mom throne
The truth is, many times as moms we are playing the same game. We’re princesses, or probably more accurately, queens of our own little established kingdom.
We may not talk ourselves out of cleaning or chores due to our royalty, but our throne manifests itself in various other ways.
Our throne is so shiny that oftentimes we don’t recognize it for what it is. Because of this, it can easily get out of hand and infiltrate multiple areas of our lives, especially motherhood.
I’m talking about pride. Let’s chat about this.
What is pride?
We normally think of pride as thinking too highly of ourselves and acting accordingly. When we’re prideful, we tend to live and play by our own rules and expect everyone else to follow suit.
Or, perhaps it leads to a feeling of entitlement— thinking we are owed something because of who we are or what we’ve accomplished.
Dare I say, pride can also come at the other end of the spectrum. When we think too lowly of ourselves, think we aren’t good enough, or how we are not up to par compared to others, that is also pride. Why?
When we think we aren’t good enough compared to others, that is saying that we believe God made us incorrectly. We are saying we think that if He’d done a better job, we’d be better off.
The proud mom
Should I be a proud mom? I think this question crosses a lot of our minds when we think of our kids. There is nothing wrong with being proud of our children when they do good things, get good grades, achieve in sports, or we catch them displaying godly character traits in their interactions with friends.
These things are all well and good and can be used to honor the Lord.
But, this isn’t the type of pride we’re talking about. There is a type of proud mom that hinders more than helps our motherhood.
Pride comes before the fall
The dangerous pride is what is warned about in the Bible. This is the pride that leads to destruction (Proverbs 16:18). It puts us in a position where we think we know best, even better than God. Even if we don’t use those exact words, typically that is the attitude behind pride.
Yet, if you were to look up Bible verses about pride, you’d see clearly that the Lord opposes the proud (James 4:6) and in fact, the proud are eventually torn down.
Did you hear the one about the guy who turned into an ox?
King Nebuchadnezzar’s story in the book of Daniel has always been interesting to me. Such a powerful and prideful man, Nebuchadnezzar was considered the greatest king of the Babylonian Empire.
This is the same Nebuchadnezzar who built a tall, gold statue of himself and demanded everyone bow down to it. When Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego didn’t, they were thrown into the fiery furnace.
Sometime after this event, however, he is given a dream that Daniel interprets for him. The dream shows him that he needs to humble himself and recognize that the Lord rules, and He is the source of power, greatness, and wealth.
Unfortunately, Nebuchadnezzar doesn’t seek humility and after 12 months, as he is proclaiming his greatness aloud, a voice speaks to him from heaven, God passes judgment on him for his pride, and:
Immediately the word was fulfilled against Nebuchadnezzar. He was driven from among men and ate grass like an ox, and his body was wet with the dew of heaven till his hair grew as long as eagles' feathers, and his nails were like birds' claws (Daniel 4:33).
Ok, so maybe he didn’t literally turn into an ox! But talk about quite a judgment! Nebuchadnezzar spent the next 7 years of his life this way until he finally humbled himself before the Lord and gave praise and honor where it was due (Daniel 4:34-35).
“Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of heaven, for all his works are right and his ways are just; and those who walk in pride he is able to humble. ”
What pride looks like in motherhood
Just as we see in Nebuchadnezzar’s life, pride keeps us from doing what’s right. When you’re a proud mom, you start to make your own decrees in your own little kingdom.
Pride creates an obstacle to God’s grace in your life because He gives grace to the humble, not the proud.
Once Nebuchadnezzar humbled himself, the Lord gave him grace, restoring to him his kingdom, his majesty, the favor of his counselors, and as he narrates, still more greatness was added to me (Daniel 4:36).
Still more greatness. That’s God’s grace.
Mama, I’m here to tell you– heavy is the head that wears the crown. I know. I’m on my throne too, right next to you. Let’s learn a lesson from an ancient king, and at the same time examine our own lives.
Pride in motherhood looks like a few of these things:
#1: We use the phrase, “Because I told you so,” too often.
There is a difference between discipline or training up our children, and barking out orders. The things we’re telling or asking our kids to do should have a reason behind them, and depending on their age, it should be a reason that can be explained to them.
Now, I know there are times when it’s warranted to use this phrase, and our children should obey because that’s what they’re called to do.
However, when we see ourselves as the queens of the castle, it’s easy to simply throw out commands all day and expect our humble servants to follow suit.
Be led by the Spirit
As we allow the Holy Spirit to lead us in our parenting, we will find patience, gentleness, and self-control. We will find the humility to stoop down to their level and help them understand what we’re asking them to do and why– which oftentimes allows them to see the importance of the task.
On the opposite, when we tell our kids what to do all day without any training or explanations, we’re simply teaching them to only obey rules for the sake of obeying rules and a ruler.
Is obedience important? Yes! The Lord calls children to obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1) and we are called to obey the Lord. But, doesn’t the Lord make His “whys” clear to us in the full counsel Scripture? Has He not sent the Spirit to dwell in us to help us understand and direct us in the things He calls us to do?
If the Lord Almighty on His throne is willing to be patient with us as we walk out obedience, should we not do the same with the children with whom He’s entrusted us?
#2: Our worth as a mom is wrapped up in our children
It may be surprising to hear that pride in motherhood comes in the form of your children determining your worth as a mom.
Maybe, based on how well they behave or what others think of them, we form a belief of “how good of a mom” we are.
Or perhaps, it correlates to how you choose to raise your kids: how organic or homemade their food and snacks are, whether they’re homeschooled or in the classroom, or the activities in which they’re involved.
If your teen goes through a rebellion phase, you feel your worth diminishes.
If your child graduates as an academic achiever and star athlete, you feel all the more worthy.
Mama, take off the crown. These are all false feelings, made-up standards, and lies. Worth is found in Christ and Christ alone.
Our worth is found in the One who is worthy
Before we were born, He formed us in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13).
Even when we were still dead in our sin, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).
And in Him, we are blessed with every spiritual blessing, chosen, holy and blameless before Him, adopted, redeemed, forgiven, and have an inheritance sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:3-14).
Nowhere in any of those verses does it say that we have to be a mom to obtain these blessings and promises. It also doesn’t say that our kids’ behavior at the mall yesterday taints any of them.
He is our all in all and from whom our worth and value come. It doesn’t fade or wrinkle.
But, when we think our identity and worth are wrapped up in the actions of our children, that is pride. It’s pride because inadvertently we are saying that how we have raised them is the key factor in determining our value.
The problem is, however, that our kids change and grow. Their character changes, sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse.
Yet, God created us with value, and if He is the one who sustains us and He doesn’t change, then our value and worth don’t change either. He redeemed us. And upon accepting that redemption in Christ, we are given a whole slew of other benefits and blessings.
It has nothing to do with us.
#3: We’re easily disappointed when our kids don’t live up to our expectations.
Comparison is a dangerous thing. We can easily find ourselves scrolling through social media, holding up the reflection of our lives against our friends or those we follow. We can have discussions with other moms from our children’s school and compare their kids’ academic abilities, behavior, socialization skills, and athleticism with our kids’.
Maybe it’s comparison that creates unnecessary expectations for our children.
Or, maybe it’s the latest parenting advice we received from a professional, or every other mom on the block who has happily given us her opinion.
Then there is the way we were raised. We can easily look back at our childhood, contemplate the good and the bad, the wishes and wants we had, and impose them on our kids.
We expect them to live a certain way, behave a certain way in public, and have certain kinds of friends. And, when our children miss the mark, we’re disappointed.
Do you expect too much?
You see, mama, the rules and decrees we’ve created can sometimes serve little purpose. It’s ok to be intentional and mindful in your parenting– in fact, it’s typically a good idea!
But, when we take these mindsets a too far, expecting our little kingdom to look a certain way inside of the house, and to present itself perfectly outside of the house, we’re in the danger zone.
Here, we’re at risk of concealing God’s grace in our everyday lives with the expectations in our do’s and don’t’s, and the failure behind our disappointment. It stifles the ability of our kids to see God’s hand moving in their lives in situations where they struggle or are weak because instead of seeing God’s grace, all they can think about is how they plucked a head of grain on the Sabbath and they shouldn’t have done that.
Expectations lead to weariness
Too many expectations leave our kids feeling overwhelmed and under pressure. And, mama, if we’re constantly feeling disappointed with our children’s conduct, we’re also likely feeling weary and we need to take a look at our own methods.
Let’s be sure the rules and expectations we’re placing on our children are age-appropriate, biblical, and profitable in our training of them in the way they should go.
Proud mom or boast in the Lord?
Mama, we can do this. We can step down from our thrones. We can toss the crowns to the side. Right now, as we are here on this earth, let’s show our children that the King of kings has His rightful place on the throne in our hearts. Let’s display His kingdom, not our imaginary one.
Let’s show our children that it is Him who has done all things for us– He gives life, He provides, He leads the way, and He sustains us.
We are not a force to be reckoned with or someone to bow down to. When we are living as proud moms, we’re blocking our children’s view of the throne. His throne.
Step aside.
As we do, in our humility, He will exalt us in due time.
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Sister, You Are Not Alone
A friend of mine recently told me that she has been feeling lonely lately. Despite having numerous “close” friends, people that she’s known for many years, she feels…
A friend of mine recently told me that she has been feeling lonely lately. Despite having numerous “close” friends, people that she’s known for many years— she feels isolated and alone. Her friends are lax about reaching out, even if they don’t see her for weeks at a time. If she doesn’t want to go out to see them due to the health issues she wrestles with, there isn’t a chance for true companionship, as they don’t make much of an effort to visit her when she stays in.
She feels alone. Rejected. Misunderstood.
It’s hard to figure out how to stop feeling lonely when every attempt you make for fellowship is to no avail.
Sadly, her story isn’t much different from a lot of others. Since the height of the COVID pandemic in 2020, many of us can relate to this feeling of isolation and unasked for solidarity.
And, like my friend, whether we’re introverted or not— we’re sick of it.
What is loneliness?
Loneliness is different from being alone. When we are alone, that means we are physically by ourselves, with no one else. Sometimes this is by choice.
Loneliness, however, is a state of mind. It’s the feeling of not being seen, heard, and understood. We can be lonely whether we are physically alone, or we can be lonely when we’re in a room full of hundreds of people.
No matter the personality type, or whether we’re outgoing or introverted, loneliness is a real feeling that any of us can feel, depending on the situation at hand.
What does the Bible say about loneliness?
When looking in the Bible, the word “alone” is used a lot, but many times it’s used in reference to the power of God.
O Lord of hosts, God of Israel, enthroned above the cherubim, You are the God, You alone, of all the kingdoms of the earth; You have made heaven and earth. (Isaiah 37:16 ESV)
Let them praise the name of the Lord for His name alone is exalted; His majesty is above earth and heaven. (Psalm 148:13 ESV)
The word “alone” is rarely used in reference to people.
“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. ”
David speaks of feeling lonely (Psalm 25:16), which is no surprise when we think about how much time he spent fleeing and hiding from King Saul and his army of men who sought his life.
No doubt Elijah was probably feeling lonely as he hid from evil Ahab and Jezebel in a cave. After taking out their prophets at Mount Carmel, they were fed up with Elijah and sought to kill him. Elijah spoke to the Lord, saying that he alone was the last of the prophets of the Lord (1 Kings 19:10). He feared for his life and felt he was standing alone against the world.
David and Elijah were both physically alone and lonely. And, for many of us, it’s when we are also alone and lonely that we forget one of the most important truths we should cling to.
God is With Us
We can easily become overwhelmed, depressed, and anxious when we focus more on our situation, the lack of participants in our lives, and our feelings— instead of focusing on the fact that God is with us.
I believe the reason why the Bible doesn’t use the word “alone” when referring to His people is that we truly aren’t alone. The Word constantly reminds us that the Lord is with us wherever we go (Joshua 1:9). He is beside us and goes before us. He never leaves us or forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:6).
“At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.”
As Paul so eloquently stated in 2 Timothy 4:17, the Lord stood by him and strengthened him. And, He does the same for us.
Dealing with loneliness
If you’re in the midst of loneliness now, whether you’re surrounded by loved ones, or you’re physically alone— and you’re wondering how to stop feeling lonely, just know that you are not alone (no pun intended!). There are many in your shoes, walking out the same struggle as you.
Thankfully, there is so much hope in the Lord in this area. Through prayer, His Word, and other people, He's given us tools to help us navigate these waters. But most importantly, He's given us His strength as He walks beside us.
15 Things to Do when you're lonely
If you’re wondering what to do when you’re lonely, here are 15 practical tips you can put into practice today.
#1: SEEK THE LORD.
Above all, this is the number one thing to do. When you seek Him, He reveals Himself to you in ways you cannot imagine. He wants you to know Him truly and deeply.
#2: DON’T FORSAKE YOUR DAILY QUIET TIME.
Make time to sit in His presence, no matter how you’re feeling. It’s much easier to binge-watch Netflix so you don’t feel lonely, but superficial entertainment doesn’t compare to inundating your mind and soul with the Lord’s goodness.
#3: SPEND TIME IN PRAYER.
Loneliness often stems from feeling you have no one to talk to. Why not exchange words with the One who created you? He hears you, wants you to come before Him, and will hang onto your every word.
#4: FIND REFUGE IN THE LORD.
God is your hiding place and your protector. When you seek Him, He gives you all you need to grow in your faith and trust in Him more. In the vulnerability that loneliness brings, rest assured that you can find safety in Him.
#5: LINK ARMS WITH 1-2 OTHER PEOPLE.
There’s so much power in a godly friend. All it takes is for 1 or 2 sisters to make an effort to reach out to you on a regular basis— to say hi, offer encouragement, or see how you’re doing— to make you feel less isolated.
If you don’t have someone who does this for you, I’d encourage you to ask. It may seem awkward to request this of someone, especially if you aren’t particularly close, but in this process, the Lord will use her to uplift you, and He’ll cultivate a close relationship between you two. It’s a win-win.
#6: DON’T FORSAKE FELLOWSHIP WITH OTHER BELIEVERS.
The Lord doesn’t want us to live in isolation— that’s where our idle thoughts can take us to dark places, and fear and anxiety can grow. Go to church, join a small group, and make an effort to get out and about.
#7: GUARD YOUR HEART AND MIND.
Be mindful of what you’re allowing into your sense gates. God calls us to guard our hearts and our minds (Proverbs 4:23; John 14:27). There are many influences that surround you, but they need to be filtered out. The world will distract you from remembering God’s truth and His promises for you.
#8: SPEND TIME STUDYING THE PSALMS.
The Psalms is a great place to go when you are feeling lonely. David and the other psalmists share raw thoughts, feelings, and emotions as they deal with deep sadness, isolation, and fear. Yet, hope is always right around the corner.
#9: REMEMBER THE LORD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU.
We know this, but we often forget. Ask Him to help you feel His presence. Take time to study Bible verses about God being with us: Deuteronomy 31:6; Isaiah 41:10; Psalm 23:4; Psalm 139:7-10; Joshua 1:9; 1 John 4:16; Psalm 16:11
“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”
#10: DON’T SEEK FALSE INTIMACY WITH SOCIAL MEDIA.
Drowning in other people’s lives may make you feel less lonely, but this is false intimacy. Eventually, seeing so many happy faces on your social feeds will let thoughts creep in that whisper things like you are the only one who is alone and feeling this way. Everyone else is having fun except you. You are missing out.
If you struggle with these types of thoughts, I suggest avoiding social media until you’ve established deeper friendships off-screen.
#11: INVITE SOMEONE OVER.
It may have to be you who takes the first step. Don’t wait for someone to offer to visit you. Be daring– you invite. You ask. You host. Even if it feels overwhelming at first, you’ll be so glad for the company.
#12: GO TO “THAT THING” EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT.
It can be hard to go to an event where we believe we’ll feel anxious or even more lonely. However, I find that when I go places I don’t initially feel like going to, I leave feeling refreshed and renewed. Sometimes it’s because I met someone new or had an interesting conversation. Other times, it’s because I’m simply proud of myself for doing something that was a little difficult to do!
#13: BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH.
Vulnerability is key. It’s not easy. It’s uncomfortable, for sure. But, you know what? Vulnerability connects people. It allows others to see into the depths of your soul, see your hurt, and feel your pain. It allows the other person to relate and empathize with you, and when that happens you’ll no longer feel so lonely.
#14: ACCEPT HELP.
Don’t think that you can do everything on your own, including combat your loneliness. Let others in. There are people in your life who would love to help you if you’d only ask. And, if they offer– don’t turn them away! Helping you will likely bring them joy, and who knows– maybe they’re feeling lonely too.
#15: JOURNAL.
Journaling is a great way to get all of the thoughts swirling around in your head onto paper. It’s freeing to get them out, especially if you're dealing with anxious thoughts. Write your prayers to the Lord and ask Him to meet you where you are. He will.
Or, list the things you’re grateful for having and the people you’re grateful for knowing. Look back at the end of each day and write down things you’re glad the Lord has given you, or the situations He’s put you in.
“You make known to me the path of life, in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
The Lord is bigger than your loneliness
When dealing with loneliness, please remember that the Lord is bigger than what you’re feeling. He’s strong enough to handle it and take care of it for you. Let Him in. He wants you to feel His presence and lean on Him during this time. Trust that His plans and purposes for you are good.
But, you have to want it, sister. You have to want to not be lonely anymore. Don’t wallow in it. Be purposeful about what you’re letting influence your thoughts and feelings, especially when you’re alone. Time by yourself is good, but be aware of how much time you’re allowing yourself to be alone.
And, when that loneliness begins to creep in again, remind yourself that God is with you. He will never leave you or forsake you.
Lies We Believe About Idols (Part 2)
Idols. A word we sometimes think we don’t wrestle with. A word that seems foreign, Old Testament, or outdated. But…
Idols.
A word we sometimes think we don’t wrestle with. A word that seems foreign, Old Testament, or outdated.
But it’s not.
This is Part 2 of the series, The Lies We Believe About Idols. In Part 1, we discussed what the Bible says about idols, and answered the question, What is an idol? We also dove into the first 5 lies that we can tend to believe about idols.
If you missed Part 1, you can read it here. You’re going to want to start there before continuing on to the next 5 lies!
Before jumping into the lies, let’s remember that the things in which you find your identity, and the things that fill your mind and your heart can easily become idols.
Even if you’re not prone to propping up a shiny object on your shelf, you still may have an idol taking the place of the Lord in your heart.
So, let’s take a look at a few more things the world is telling us as it tries to weave these lies into our hearts.
Lie #6: Your image matters.
I remember being a teen and looking through beauty and fashion magazines to get an idea of what “beauty” looked like. If it wasn’t a magazine, it was the latest teen icon or music video star whose look I’d try to emulate.
Today, we don’t have to wait for our magazine subscription to come in the mail, or wait for a commercial break to end to see something on tv. Every young teen and woman has the ability to find models of “beauty” with a few thumb swipes or clicks.
But, this thought of bearing the perfect “image” is nothing less than an idol mentality, which ironically, just as in social media posts, puts a filter over the true meaning of being image-bearers.
How to improve your self-esteem and self-image are hot topics, but we’re being taught to look in the wrong places to find the answers.
Made in the image of God
The truth is, our image does matter, but not as the world tells us.
The Bible tells us we are made in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:26). What’s so important about this is that we are the only part of creation that God bestowed this blessing. Being made in His image sets us apart from all other aspects of creation, even animals. You can find a great explanation by Got Questions about being made in God’s image.
“For as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous.”
Bible verses about image
As 1 Corinthians 15:45-19 states, although we bear the image of the first man (Adam) and his sin, we who are in Christ also bear the image of the second Adam (Christ). We are new creations in Christ and what He calls us to put on as we walk in newness of life is important (Colossians 3; Ephesians 4:24).
The fact that we are seen as righteous before God is important (Romans 5:19). The amazing truth that God knit us together in our mother’s womb, perfectly made to look exactly the way He wanted us to look is important (Psalm 139:13-14).
The world’s beauty standards for our lives are not important.
Do not be deceived, dear sister, in thinking that we need to look a certain way to be justified. There is nothing wrong with having a nice wardrobe, wearing makeup, and taking care of your physical appearance. Please hear me and do not misunderstand.
The problem starts when we become so obsessed with our looks that we think our value and worth are bound up in them.
If we are “so beautiful,” we are more valuable. If we think we don’t measure up to the world’s standard for beauty, we’re less valuable.
When we believe these lies, we’re putting more stock in how He made us, as opposed to our Maker, Himself. We are the clay questioning the potter (Isaiah 45:9), all because the world tells us that perhaps we aren’t good enough.
Let it be known that the world holds no greater wisdom than God. He knew what He was doing when He made each of us. Let’s stop focusing so much on our self-image and instead marvel at our God-image.
Lie #7: You’re justified by the number of your social media followers.
The end result of being justified is peace. We think we can find peace in having a lot of people following us, peering into our lives, and “liking” the things we do. The world will tell us this is a great way to have a plethora of people thinking of you and caring about you.
Unfortunately, this is a form of craving worship and idolization.
“ Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Comb through the Gospels and find all of the times it says that many who heard and saw Jesus stopped what they were doing to immediately follow Him. Then, find the many times Jesus specifically calls people to follow Him. I don’t recall a time when Jesus paused His ministry, asked where someone else was going (from a standpoint of their philosophy or ministry), and said He would follow him.
Justified by Faith
We are justified by our faith (Galatians 2:16, 3:24; Philippians 3:9; Hebrews 11), not by our followers. We can aspire to be the next top social media influencer, but what is our platform? What are we trying to influence others to do?
Can you share the love of Christ while building a social platform doing makeup tutorials? Yes. While sharing helpful DIY videos or cooking tutorials? Of course.
None of these platforms are bad. And, if you’re putting out helpful content that blesses people, then organically you’ll gain social followers. Again, please don’t misunderstand me.
With all of these Lies, what we’re talking about is your heart attitude. Your motivation. Your reason for doing these things.
Check that first before journeying down any road that might tempt you to make your knowledge and social media following your main objective, for that is the moment the shiny object hops on the shelf of our hearts.
Lie #8: Your finances save you.
I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that idol worship can undoubtedly include the love of money.
The trouble with money doesn’t come when we have a lot– there is nothing wrong with wealth if the Lord chooses to bless you in that way. We see many examples of Old Testament saints who had wealth, such as Job.
The problem with money also doesn’t come when we have a little. Living in poverty or being poor does not mean you have any less faith than someone with money.
No, the trouble begins when we look to our finances to be our savior.
“Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever abandon you.”
Our money will come and go. Our money is temporary. But, as the verse above says, God will never leave us. Christ is our savior.
God’s Provision
Several years ago I was wrestling with the decision of whether or not to be a stay-at-home mom. I struggled with leaving work because I didn’t think our finances could handle it. Even though I knew the Lord was calling me to stay home, I held onto the false belief that my monetary contribution to our family was greater than what God could do for us on one income.
Deep in my heart, I didn’t truly believe that He could provide. I didn’t truly believe that He was and is in fact, Jehovah Jireh.
After much prayer and encouragement from those who’d walked through the same situation earlier in life, I decided to leave my job and stay home.
And guess what? We went broke and became homeless.
KIDDING!!! Totally kidding!
No, God provided. Of course, He provided. He wouldn’t have called me to stay home if He didn’t already have plans to provide for us.
But we think crazy thoughts like that sometimes, don’t we? We think, There’s no way I could take that step, move to this place, take this lower-paying job, or go into full-time ministry… Or, we think, If only I had more money, then I’d be able to do…. or go… or live this way…
When we live in fear of how our lives will turn out due to our lack of money, or when we place all of our hopes and dreams in the aspiration of what having more money could do for us– we have made our finances an idol.
jehovah jireh
We need to know, remember, and believe that the Lord will provide. We need to bask in the truth of God’s provision. God is the only one who supplies all of our needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19), and the Bible tells us that that’s exactly what He will do.
Our trust needs to be in Him, not our next paycheck. Not in our IRA. Not in our next promotion.
We are much more valuable to Him than the ravens (Luke 12:24) and He supplies all they need. Will He not do even more for His beloved?
Lie #9: People-pleasing is the only way to go.
According to Verywell Mind, people-pleasing generally involves people “feeling overly concerned with pleasing others and earning their approval as a way to maintain relationships.”
Although people-pleasers are seen as extremely helpful, kind, and giving– oftentimes, the underlying motivation in doing so is to gain the affection of others with the ultimate goal of gaining their approval. Their motive is to seek validation.
Even though they appear to have a humble attitude, it’s actually a form of pride.
how are we called to serve others?
Jesus calls us to be servants (Matthew 23:11), but in that serving, we need to operate under godly wisdom and discretion in how and when we serve.
As we see in the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42), we need to know when we should be wholeheartedly giving of ourselves in serving others, and when we need to attend to our own spiritual needs. There is a fine line to tread.
The bottom line is that Jesus doesn’t call us to be all things to everyone at all times. That is His job. Just because we are capable of doing something, doesn’t mean we should.
Before committing our time and energy to fill a need, we should seek counsel from the Lord. We can pray and ask Him if this is something He’s calling us to do at that moment. He may have a greater need He needs us to fill elsewhere. Or, like Martha, maybe He’d rather just have us sit at His feet.
Are you number one or do you even matter at all?
What’s interesting is the extreme that exists between this lie and Lie #1: You are number one. If we aren’t supposed to be thinking of ourselves first, then we are to be thinking of everyone else first.
Either you’re the only one who matters, or you don’t matter at all.
This is one reason why we need to be so in tune with what the Word of God says. We can be easily swayed between these two opposing mindsets, living a very confused life. But God is not the God of confusion. He does not create dichotomies for us to sift through so we can find the true meaning of life for ourselves. He gives clear instructions on the most important things we need to know.
Lie #10: I am entitled to something.
Dictionary.com defines entitled as “having a right or legitimate claim to something; assuming or acting as though one has an innate right or claim to wealth, success, recognition, etc.”
We’ve become individuals who believe we are entitled to something; or maybe, everything. This sense of entitlement makes us place ourselves on a pedestal, believing the lie that we deserve all good things, all the time. Everyone receives a trophy, bad things shouldn’t happen to us, and we should get what we deserve (say it again, all good things).
But where in the Bible does it say this?
If we look at the life of Job, we see someone who could have easily had a sense of entitlement. He was upright and blameless before God (Job 1:1), and did in fact have many nice things. But, even when all he had was stripped away, he still held onto the truth that we should expect the good in life and the bad (Job 2:10).
Grace and Mercy Abound
From one perspective, we are only deserving of death. All have sinned (Romans 3:23). From another perspective, in Christ, we have an inheritance (Ephesians 1:11-14).
So is it one or the other, or both?
Yes.
Since Christ stepped in to take our place and took on the punishment we all deserved when He died on the cross, the death we deserved is no longer ours to reckon with (for all who believe in Him). Christ took care of that for us. And, although we truly deserve nothing because we aren’t perfect, still wrestle with sin, and at times are disobedient against God– in Christ, we receive everything. We have an inheritance sealed with the promise of the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13).
This is called grace, sister.
Entitlement mentality
Yet, this isn’t what the world tells us about entitlement. The world’s entitlement tells us that we only deserve what is good, based on… well, not much at all. Just that we all deserve good. Only good. All the time.
If you’re a good person, you should receive only good. If you’re a bad person, you should receive only bad. And, since most people don’t consider themselves bad people, most people believe they are entitled to money, fame, wealth, ease, and success.
We are not entitled to anything. By the grace of God and by His mercy, we do receive many things we don’t deserve. And, for those of us in Christ, yes, the Lord showers us with many blessings. But, we still can expect the bad, because tribulation is promised in this world (John 16:33).
Sister, don’t be deceived by the world’s definition of entitlement. Thank God for the good he bestows upon us, all the while remembering that it’s only because of His mercy, grace, and Christ’s sacrifice that we receive it.
What is Idolatry?
Idolatry happens when we allow something– anything– to take the place of God in our hearts.
The lies we believe about idols are popular-thought. Unfortunately, we’ve become a culture that can easily be deceived by these lies, and for Christians, we can’t let that be so.
Idolatry comes in so many shapes and forms. Some forms of idolatry are obvious, and some, as we discussed with many of these heart attitudes, sneak in when we’re not looking.
Be aware of what the Word says about all of these issues. There’s much more to learn than what I’ve shared in this 2-part series. And, I’m sure you can think of many more things that we can allow to become our idols.
I encourage you, sister, to be diligent to stay in the Word. Ask the Lord to guard your heart against these idols. Put up the roadblocks, set up a blockade, or build a wall– whatever you need to do to stop them from infiltrating your life. Give the King of kings His rightful place on the throne of your heart.
Lies We Believe About Idols (Part 1)
Where do you spend most of your time? What do you think about more than anything? In what do you find your identity? This is where…
Where do you spend most of your time? What do you think about more than anything? In what do you find your identity? This is where your heart lies.
We live in a world full of “I’s.” A world where “self” is king. It’s all about “me”, what “I” can do, how “I” feel, and how this affects “me”.
Without even being fully aware of it, we have grown to make idols of ourselves– and if not ourselves, then of something else we hold near and dear.
The reason it has gotten to this point, I believe, is because the world tells us it’s okay. And, we have come to believe the world’s lies.
There are many lies floating around out there, and whereas this is not an exhaustive list, there is a lot to be said. Therefore, this article will be split into 2 parts!
Before we dig into the lies of Part 1, let’s talk about idolatry.
What is an idol?
Merriam-Webster defines an idol as an object of extreme devotion or a representation or symbol of an object of worship. In our culture today we’ve grown so accustomed to calling things “idols” and thinking nothing of it: tv shows with that title, celebrities are idolized, and people who we think of as our heroes are now referred to as someone we idolize. Not to mention, with the popularity of social media, it’s not hard to find someone with the “perfect” life inviting you to follow and idolize them in a matter of a few clicks.
This cultural mindset has dulled our senses and blinded our eyes to the real danger of idols.
Idolizing a person isn’t just a cute way of saying you admire them. It’s not the ultimate form of flattery towards someone. It’s putting whomever or whatever we’re idolizing in a place in our hearts above and beyond the One who belongs there.
What does the Bible say about idolatry?
Most of us are familiar with the Ten Commandments, of course, and the fact that in the first commandment God says that we are to have no other gods before Him. He instructs us not to construct objects into idols that we could worship or serve. Why? Because He says he is a jealous God (Exodus 20:3-5), and He wants our full devotion.
God wants no one and nothing in the place of Him in our hearts.
There are multiple places in the Bible where we can clearly see God command His followers against making idols for themselves or turning to idols. But, it doesn’t just stop there. Several times, immediately after forbidding us to make idols, He concludes with the truth, “for I am the Lord your God” (Leviticus 19:4; 26:1).
The Lord wants us to remember that He is our God– the idol is not.
His commands hold true because He is our God. His promises hold true in our lives because He is our God. He is the Maker of heaven and earth.
“For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the Lord made the heavens.”
Modern-Day Idols: How to understand the lies
To truly understand the impact these lies are subconsciously having on each of us, we have to shift our mindset from a narrow, singular thought that idols are mainly carved images, statues, or household objects. Most of us don’t have issues with carving images that we purposely set out to worship, yet when we hear the word idol, we immediately picture an object sitting on a shelf.
No, the idols of our culture today run much more inconspicuously. They’re quite stealthy. They sneak into our lives ever so quietly and slowly, without us even being aware of them. They steal our affection and attention in silent ways. And, before we know it, they’ve stolen the place of the Lord in our hearts.
Being aware of the battle between what the world tells us and what the Word says will help us understand the error of these lies and what the Lord wants us to know instead.
Lie #1: You are number one.
The world will tell you that you, yourself, and I are number one. Look out for number one, take care of yourself, and you matter the most are all phrases that permeate our culture.
The world sings a song of putting yourself above everyone else, and this makes us gods of ourselves.
We see this mindset in work environments, schools, and social media. Having the drive to win and succeed is fine, but not at the expense of someone else. From middle and high school bullying all the way to mom-shaming, seeing yourself and your ways as above others is the spark that ignites these negative behaviors.
Yet, if we look at the first eight verses of Philippians 2, we see that we’re to do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, and we’re to be humble, counting others as more significant than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).
This doesn’t mean that we should never take care of ourselves. This isn’t a black and white situation, as sometimes it is twisted to be. Meaning, we shouldn’t have the mindset that if we take time to do something for ourselves, we are being irresponsible because we could be doing something for someone else.
As Philippians 2:4 says, Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. There is a balance. Serving others is important and is what we’re called to do as believers, but it’s also ok to attend to our own needs.
The key is to remember that the Lord is number one. Once that is your perspective, things will more easily fall into their proper place.
Lie #2: OUR lives should revolve around OUR kids’ interests and activities.
I know we love our kids. I know our whole life perspective changed once we became parents. But, did you know that our children can easily become idols?
In our western culture, there is always the opportunity to see what everyone else’s kids are doing. Although this isn’t true for every neighborhood— in many places, there’s no end to the number of activities, sports, and clubs for our children to get involved in. If we don’t have access to the opportunity, we can check out our social media feed and easily see other children engaging in it.
This can lead to the comparison game, and comparison leads to the mindset that we need to do anything and everything we can to give our children a plethora of opportunities every year— just like “everyone” else.
Yes, it’s ok for them to be involved. I believe we should encourage it. Yet, we can get to a point where, in the pursuit of raising the perfect children who’ve never lacked a thing, we rearrange our entire lives to accommodate them.
What we build our lives around tends to earn first place in our hearts.
“Above all, let’s be sure we prioritize training up our children and helping them grow in the Lord.”
I’m not saying that it’s wrong to have a schedule where our children are on amazing traveling teams or going to statewide competitions. Growing up, I was a competitive gymnast— I get it.
But, I do think we need to be intentional in what we allow to shape their lives.
Let’s make sure we have the time and resources to train up our children (Proverbs 22:6) and teach them the ways of the Lord, first and foremost. Having a packed schedule that keeps our children out of our homes (and oftentimes, away from us) many nights a week can easily lead to limited time to grow in the Lord as a family.
Lie #3: Work/producing an income is the most important thing.
Work is something that is honored in the Bible. God gave Adam the job of working and tending to the land in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:15), many men in the Old Testament were shepherds, Paul was a tentmaker, and many of Jesus’s disciples were fishermen.
Not only this, but there are numerous Proverbs that speak of the importance of working, providing for your family, and not being idle (Proverbs 10:4; 21:25; 12:11).
The Lord values work and He has given us the capacity to do so.
But, we can easily place our job and careers at the forefront of our lives. When we get to the point where work always comes first— over our spouse, children, and ministries the Lord has called us to— that is when we need to shift our mindset. As important as it is to provide for our family, especially if you are a single mom, we need to remember that ultimately God is our Provider and He will supply us with all that we need.
The key is staying close to Him and listening to His promptings. If we ask Him, He will let us know if and when we need to back off a bit, how we need to prioritize our schedule, and how to create a work and family balance that glorifies Him.
Our job is a means to an end. It is not eternal. Yes, we can be a witness to those in our workplace, but we need to be faithful to all of the areas of our lives that the Lord has called us to, not just the one that produces income.
Lie #4: Your husband’s role is to be your “everything.”
In today’s world, we are inundated with fairy tales, reality shows, and Hallmark movies depicting what a perfect husband looks like. He always says the right things, constantly saves the day, and repeatedly sweeps his wife off of her feet. The “perfect” husband is seen as the one who does everything right, without fail.
So, when a married woman’s man doesn’t measure up to all of these thoughts and images in her head, she’s told it’s ok to trade him in for a new one. Unfortunately, this is the culture we live in, and one of the reasons why the divorce rate is so high.
But, what we’re told is a “perfect” husband is not reality.
Take a look at what the Bible says about marriage, specifically in regards to husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25 NASB).
So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself (Ephesians 5:28 NASB).
Husbands, love your wives and do not become bitter against them (Colossians 3:19 NASB).
This is by no means an extensive list of what the Lord tells us about marriage; however, the main point we see here is that husbands are commanded to love their wives, as Christ loved the church.
what the bible doesn’t say
It doesn’t say that husbands are to be perfect, attending to our every need, while riding on a white horse. It doesn’t say that we are to only respect and submit to our husband (1 Peter 3:1-2; Ephesians 5:22) when he’s earned it by his good deeds towards us. It doesn’t say that his sole purpose in life is to make his wife happy.
When we have the mindset that our husband is to be our everything, he has become our idol. We look to him for satisfaction, pleasure, happiness, and to rescue us from all things.
what the bible does say
What the Bible does make clear in 1 Peter and Ephesians 5 is that wives are to respect and submit to their husbands as unto the Lord. It says that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church.
Both husbands and wives are to look to Jesus to be their everything– not each other. Christ is the only One who is capable and able to be our all in all.
Lie #5: You’re strong enough to do it on your own. You don’t need anybody.
This lie almost ties in with Lie #1. When we’re stuck on thinking that we are number one, there's no doubt in our minds that we can do everything on our own. Or so we think.
The problem with this is that we weren’t created to be an island. God didn’t create us to be alone, survive alone, and need no one else.
Remember that part of the Bible where God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18)? We need each other– no matter how much brains, beauty, or brawn we have. We were meant to be a community, cultivate goldy friendships, and walk out our spiritual gifts to the benefit of fellow believers (1 Peter 4:10-11).
“I am the vine, you are the branches; the one who remains in Me, and I in him bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”
The mentality that we can do all things on our own takes the Lord out of the equation.
When we think this way, we put ourselves in a place where we act as though we are as all-knowing, all-powerful, and as wise as God. We come to believe that we know what’s best for our lives 100% of the time, and what’s best for others.
Instead, the Lord calls us to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), love, rejoice with, and be devoted to one another, among many other things (Romans 12:9-21).
RELATED: For a full list of ways you can encourage your circle and serve one another, grab a free copy of this actionable guide.
We can only do all these things through Him, with Him, and by His guidance. It isn’t us. And, we don’t have to be strong enough because His strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). That’s good enough for me.
Refute the Lies
Sister, you don’t have to bow down to these modern-day idols. Study the Word. Meditate on what the Bible says about idolatry. Keep the Lord number one in your heart.
As I said earlier, this is part 1 of the series!
In Part 2, we’ll take a look at five additional lies we believe about idols. Read Part 2 here.
Be sure to SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss the next dose of encouragement straight to your inbox!
5 Powerful Ways to Calm Anxiety
I see you. You’re tired— physically, mentally, and emotionally. You’re struggling. You’re feeling overwhelmed. You’re going through some hard things…
I see you.
You’re tired— physically, mentally, and emotionally. You’re struggling. You’re feeling overwhelmed. You’re going through some hard things— things related to motherhood, things with your spouse, things with your finances…and other things. You’re going through all the things.
I see you.
Your spiritual disciplines are waning. Sometimes you don’t feel like picking up your Bible. Climbing out of bed and getting the family ready for church feels like a full-time job. You lack the motivation to serve. Prayer time feels weak, empty, and your words seem repetitive.
I see you.
God’s Word sounds good, but you aren’t really feeling it in the depths of your soul like you normally do. You want to believe and reckon every word of the text for yourself, but unbelief shouts louder. You’re easily distracted while you read, and your quiet time just feels dry.
I see you.
You want to hear the Lord speaking to you, but the voice of the enemy drowns it out. You’ve let the spirit of fear control your thoughts and direct your steps. You believe God is good, great, and mighty, but you’re having trouble staying under the shadow of His wings.
I see you.
And, so does the Lord. El Roi (Genesis 16:13). He sees you, He hears you, and He loves you right where you are.
When the day feels daunting
When fear, worry, anxiety, and a lack of motivation strip you of your energy and cast you down into a pit, you don’t dig yourself out. The only way out is through– and by through, I mean you let the Lord lift you out.
His process of lifting you out means you have to walk through the trials— big and small; through the places of overwhelm; and it has to be by, through, and with the Lord’s help. He is the one who pulls you out of the pit, sets your feel on solid rock, and puts a new song in your mouth (Psalm 40:1-3).
I’m right here with you. These last several weeks I’ve battled each of these thoughts, feelings, and mindsets. I’ve let myself stay in the pit at times, and I’ve let the Lord lift me up at times. But what I have learned (and am continuing to learn!), is that the Lord meets you where you are, and if you allow Him, He will grab you by the hand and pull you along to where He wants you to be.
The God Who Sees
The Lord not only sees You, but He also goes far beyond that and actually fights for you (Deuteronomy 1:30), heals you (Psalm 30:2), and comforts you (Psalm 94:19).
The Lord is here to calm your anxiety, squelch your overwhelm, and light your lack of motivation on fire. And, He doesn’t do those things in the ways the world may tell us– keep yourself busy, focus on yourself, or anchor down on your to-do list.
No, He puts a new song in our mouths– one of praise to Him.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord (Psalm 40:3 NASB).
Worshipping God when these feelings ensnare us is absolutely necessary– and, absolutely difficult. Yes, difficult. But, what I’ve found recently is that as I praise God when I am feeling my lowest— sitting on the floor with a blanket draped around me in an effort to find some sort of comfort— that is when my heart is changed.
Through the praise, He draws me closer to Him, calms my heart, mind, and soul, and shows me just how ever-present He truly is.
Praising God when you don’t feel like it
How do we allow God to work in us when we’re stuck in the pit? It’s easy to praise Him when we’re feeling good, and there’s a lot of sunshine in our lives. But what about when things are hard?
There is a progression I went through that brought me to the place where I can praise Him even from the pit. How? Well, as soon as the heart of praise comes full force, I realize He’s already brought me out of the pit and set my feet upon the rock.
And, when your feet are steady and firm on His rock, it’s much harder to fall back into the pit of despair.
How to calm anxiety, overwhelm, and lack of motivation
How do you calm anxiety? The Lord led me through this progression as I began to deal with anxiety due to a life circumstance several weeks ago. Although I’m certainly not “over the mountain” yet and able to perfectly deal with it, I do believe the game plan that He’s given me has proven to be helpful (of course it is— it’s from the Lord!), and perhaps it will be helpful to you too!
#1: Seek the lord
Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face continually. (Psalm 105:4 NASB)
First, I had to start with the basics…and by the basics, I mean the most important thing: Him. He is who we are looking for and the only One who can fill the empty hole within us. Once we know Him more deeply, we get to a place where we realize that He is enough. If all else fails and all else is stripped away, He is enough.
Seeking Him means spending time communicating with Him, praying, and listening to Him. Study His Word and get to know Him better through His love and counsel.
#2: Prayer time
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6 NASB)
Through our prayer– our conversation with the Lord– we are able to grow closer to Him and get to know Him better. Why? Because there is so much that He reveals to us if we only ask. He calls us to seek Him, and when we seek something or someone, the goal is to find them, right?
As I’ve battled these feelings of anxiety and overwhelm, I began a prayer journal. Writing prayers, praise, and anything that is on my heart at the moment has been very comforting to me. To be able to get the thoughts out of my head before the Lord is freeing.
But, no matter how or where we pray, just know that prayer is crucial in overcoming anxiety. When we let the Lord know what’s on our hearts, He opens our eyes to other Scripture, resources, and people in our lives who can help us in our season. If we’re not ready to speak about it with the Lord, then we’re not truly ready to confront it.
#3: Spend time in the Word
When we are feeling overwhelmed and fighting anxiety, that’s not a time to slack in our Bible study. I know— it’s hard to get out of bed. I know— it’s hard to open the Bible and read the words through the tears in our eyes. I know. But this is the time!
For me, I’ve taken a break from the book of the Bible I’ve been studying in order to spend time in the Word with the purpose of finding passages and verses that keep my mind focused on Him, His power, and His ability to overcome overwhelm, anxiety, fear, and a lack of motivation.
“Follow God’s lead. There is no one who knows the Word better than He does!”
Take notes. Write Scripture. Write out your prayers. Whatever method you use and however the Lord leads you at that moment will be the most helpful to you. Follow His lead. There is no one who knows the Word better than He does! Allow Him to lead you to the passages that will minister to your soul at the moment.
#4: Find your encouragement circle
As a typically introverted person, I tend to get quiet, keep things bottled up, and go off by myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed. My natural tendency is to just deal with hurt and negative feelings on my own. But, the Lord has repeatedly shown me that this is not the time to go and live on an island. I need people. You need people.
I pray that you have a few godly women in your life that you can go to as you walk through your trials. Even if they’ve never been through exactly what you’re going through, they can help you keep the right perspective, pray over you, send you encouraging scriptures, or just check in on you and see how you’re doing.
I’ve been blessed to have a circle of friends who’ve done this for me, and it makes a world of difference. The Lord puts people in your life equipped with different spiritual gifts– gifts that can be used to minister to you.
Don’t keep quiet. Lean on the Lord and don’t take for granted the people He has placed around you.
#5: Praise Him regularly
I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies. (Psalm 18:3 NASB)
The Lord is worthy to be praised. Sometimes when we’re down in the pit it doesn’t feel that way. But, it’s true. Going through the progression of my tips #1 to 4 has led me to the place where praise can be honest and regular because I believe that despite all things, He is worthy to be praised.
Do you believe He’s worthy to be praised?
Keeping your sights focused on things above (Colossians 3:1-2), and not the circumstances of your life, reminds you that He is truly worthy.
Biblical Affirmations to start each day of the week
These truths are based on encouraging scriptures in the Bible. Remembering the truth of God’s Word not only keeps you focused on what truly matters, but helps you remember and believe that He is enough.
Read these truths when you’re struggling and wondering how to calm anxiety. Meditate on these biblical affirmations when you feel a lack of motivation. And, when the day feels daunting, spend the day focusing on one of these truths at a time. Take the time to look up the referenced verses and memorize what He has promised you.
Here’s one biblical affirmation for each day of the week!
Monday
God has a plan and purpose for my life (Jeremiah 29:11)
Tuesday
His goodness and mercy pursue me (Psalm 23:6).
Wednesday
The Lord fights for me (Exodus 14:14).
Thursday
The Lord does not forsake those who seek Him (Psalm 9:10).
Friday
I can dwell safely in the Lord, for He shelters me (Deuteronomy 33:12).
Saturday
The Lord is my keeper (Psalm 121:5).
Sunday
I will not be shaken because the Lord is at my right hand, and I have set Him before me (Psalm 16:8).
He is Enough
Sister, please remember: God is enough. Even in the pit. Even when you’re struggling. Even when all else fails, and all you hold dear is stripped away.
God is enough.
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7 Things Every Christian Woman Should Wear
I love when the seasons change. There’s something exciting about the anticipation of a “newness” of sorts on the horizon– the change in weather, the amount of sunlight, and the difference…
I love when the seasons change. There’s something exciting about the anticipation of a “newness” of sorts on the horizon– the change in weather, the amount of sunlight, and the difference in the feeling of the ground underneath my feet. I enjoy the soft crunch of grass between my bare toes in the summer. And, even though winter is my least favorite season, I still appreciate a few changes that time of year brings.
With the change of weather comes the change of wardrobe. Switching out the clothes in my closet or drawers isn’t my favorite thing to do, but I do enjoy going from the heavyweight materials and toned-down colors of winter to the bright and airy fabrics of spring and summertime.
Change can be good. Especially when it’s God-ordained.
In Christ, we are changed. Upon accepting Him as our Savior, we become a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). And, just like our seasonal wardrobes, there are things we need to take off and put on. Why?
Because the character of a Christian is important to God. We can’t truly live life purposely, to the glory of God if we are still walking in our old ways.
Seasons Change
Whether you’re a new Christian, or you’ve been a believer for years, the Lord calls you to walk in His ways. Typically, our ways are not His ways, right? Some things need to change in our lives so that we can live in a way that brings glory to Him.
Not putting off these old ways of ours is much like continuing to wear our winter coats in the summertime. It doesn’t take long to begin to feel weighed down, inappropriate, and completely out of sorts. Continuing in our old habits and old “dress” even though our season has changed holds us back.
What Not to Wear
But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him. (Colossians 3:8-11 NKJV)
Since we died with Christ and are raised in newness of life with Him, we are to put to death what is evil and earthly within us: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, covetousness, and idolatry (Colossians 3:5).
Put to death. Those are strong words! The behaviors God calls us to cast aside in our walk with Him are to be just that– cast aside and put to death through the power of the Holy Spirit within us (Romans 8:13) and never picked up again.
Along with the traits we’re to put to death, verses 8-11 call us to put off several other things:
#1: Put off ANGER:
While it may be ok for things to anger you, such as grieving over sin, acting out in our anger is never a good thing (Ephesians 4:26). Anger should never rule our thoughts, actions, or permeate our relationships.
#2: Put off WRATH:
Wrath and anger go hand in hand at times in the Bible (Genesis 49:7; Proverbs 15:1; Deuteronomy 29:28), because extreme anger leads to wrath. However, no matter the injustice, wrath is something that should be left unto God and God alone (Romans 12:19).
#3: Put off MALICE:
Merriam-Webster defines malice as a desire to cause pain, injury, or distress to another. What are our intentions in our relationships with others, especially when they’ve wronged us? In our flesh, our natural inclination can be to desire pain for others when we’re upset with them– especially via our words.
#4: Put off BLASPHEMY:
As a believer– a child of God for whom Christ died– insulting the Lord, or any acts of irreverence towards Him is wrong. We need to set a good example and be good witnesses in our words and conduct.
#5: Put off FILTHY LANGUAGE:
What we speak is important. Our words should be uplifting, edifying, and leave others with grace (Ephesians 4:29). What types of words are we using? One minute are we praising the Lord, and in the next breath, mumbling a swear word? If we have issues with foul language, filthy jokes, or unwholesome talk of any sort, we can pray and ask the Lord to help us control our tongues.
#6: Put off LIES:
The Lord is truth (John 14:6), therefore we cannot live in a way that is congruent to His character if we are deceptive and speaking lies. Pursuing a righteous life means that we want to exhibit His qualities, and lying is not something that the Lord ever does. Those who lie do not escape (Proverbs 19:5).
Keeping these terrible traits cast off (yes, it is a continual process of obedience!) is much easier to do when we keep our eyes focused on the Lord.
What to wear
What does the Bible say about Christian character? Colossians 3:10 states that once we’re in Christ, we have “put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him.”
If we are truly pursuing the Lord and His righteousness, then as we seek Him, we will be renewed in our knowledge of Him and all that He is, we’ll desire for the Holy Spirit to work in us and change us, and our character will become more like the image of Him who created us.
As we’ve seen, Colossians 3 begins by giving us a list of things we are to cast off once we become believers. Verse 12 starts with “therefore,” indicating that given what God has done through Christ, and since we are “the elect of God, holy and beloved” these are the attitudes and behaviors God expects in response from believers, in terms of our relationships with others.
So, sister– it’s a new season. What shall we wear?
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. (Colossians 3:12-14 NJKV)
#1: TENDER MERCIES:
We should have a heart of compassion, just as the Lord does with us. Read more about living with Biblical compassion.
#2: KINDNESS:
Kindness is goodness towards others that involves your whole being and mellows any harshness within you. So, it’s not just being kind to someone—it’s that your BEING is kind. Are you clothed in kindness? Find out here.
#3: HUMILITY:
This is the opposite of self-love. You don’t think less of yourself. You think of yourself, less. And when we are humble before the Lord, He will lift us up (James 4:10). Your Biblical guide to humility, right here.
#4: MEEKNESS/GENTLENESS:
This is when we have a willingness to suffer injury or insult rather than be the one to inflict those insults on others. In today’s world, a meek and gentle spirit is often mistaken for weakness. Yet, the Word tells us that the meek are blessed and will inherit the earth (Matthew 5:5; Psalm 37:11).
#5: LONGSUFFERING/PATIENCE:
Patience is the opposite of quick anger and revenge. You don’t hang onto resentment. You patiently endure as Christ did, and continues to do with us. We are called to be patient with others, patient with the Lord as we wait on Him, and let patience have its perfect work within us (James 1:4).
#6: BEAR ONE ANOTHER AND FORGIVE:
Christ forgave us, so what makes us think that we shouldn’t forgive our fellow brothers and sisters? Being unwilling to forgive or even bear with others in love is evidence of pride in our lives. Things won’t always be fun and copasetic in relationships– yet, we are called to work things out and bear with others in those difficult things. This is what mature believers do.
#7: LOVE:
He calls this the “bond of perfection,” or NASB says, “the perfect bond of unity.” All the other virtues listed above, are distorted if done without love.
It’s not about fashion– it’s faith. It’s not about outward appearance– it’s our inner being. The Lord is concerned with our character. So what’s next?
“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved...”
Don’t forget your essential accessories
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. (Colossians 3:15-17)
Any well-put-together outfit strategically uses accessories to pull it all together. According to www.shopyourwardrobe.com, “Accessories provide interest to your outfit. Without them, you run the risk of getting bored with your wardrobe, and your outfits looking boring, because they’re always the same. Accessories extend the life of your clothes and familiar ensembles.”
But wait– I just said this isn’t about fashion, so what am I talking about?
Colossians 3:15-17 runs through several more, very powerful parts of our character that we should be mindful to put on— or rather, that we should allow to rule our inner beings.
These things are nothing short of gifts from the Lord, and when we purpose to not lose sight of them and intentionally make them a part of our faith walk, they heighten the intensity of the character of our new person.
Just as the right accessories heighten the look and appearance of the perfect outfit. Dare I say the accessories are the most important factor.
Without these much-needed godly accessories, our character falls flat and at best comes across as worldly and fleshly.
the accessories that make our wardrobe purposeful
He gives us the PEACE OF GOD, which is an attitude of true rest and security, only experienced by those in Christ. The Lord is peace, He offers us peace, and He wants His peace to rule in our hearts.
He desires that the WORD OF CHRIST would dwell in us richly. God’s Word should live in us, permeate our being, and control every thought, word, and deed– in all wisdom.
This produces an UPLIFTING and WORSHIPFUL HEART that encourages others, worships with others, and sings praises to the Lord.
And, when His peace rules our hearts and His Word dwells richly within us, we’ll be prompted to DO ALL IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS. We’ll act consistently with Who He is and what He wants, with a thankful heart.
How can we have the character of a Christian?
I know, I know– living in a way that pleases God and exhibiting all of these character traits is easier said than done. It’s impossible to live this way in every moment, day-to-day, in our own strength. We need the Holy Spirit working within us, guiding us and leading us in our decision-making and conduct.
And, the Lord provides help. I think there is an important hint for us at the beginning of Colossians 3. If we are constantly looking around the world for our example of how to live with integrity and how to have a godly character, we won’t find it.
Instead, we are to seek and set our mind on things above, not on things of the earth (Colossians 3:1-2).
When we keep our eyes on Jesus, we see the example of One who perfectly walked out all of these attributes we are to put on.
Are you ready for the change?
So, sister– join me this season, will you? This season calls for our best dress. Our best submission to His will for our lives. Our best desire to abide in Him. Our best heart of praise for Him. Our winter coats have no place in the summer with the Son. Toss out the old rags. Let’s put on only what He desires of us.
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Will You Accept the Peace Jesus Offers?
Peace is something everyone wishes to have at some point in their life. I mean, really– who wants chaos? Who wants stress? Does anyone want to worry?
I think you'd agree with me that the answer to all of those questions is an emphatic No. Yet, all of these things…
Peace is something everyone wishes to have at some point in their life. I mean, really– who wants chaos? Who wants stress? Does anyone want to worry?
I think you'd agree with me that the answer to all of those questions is an emphatic No.
Yet, all of these things plague our lives from time to time. Some of them are due to our own actions and decisions, and some because of hard circumstances and trials the Lord allows us to go through.
Peace is a topic that runs deeply through the Bible and for good reason.
What is Peace?
Peace is defined by Merriam-Webster as a state of tranquility or quiet; freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions.
Most people think of peace as having no issues, no bad circumstances, good relations with others, and 360-degree positivity.
But that is earthly peace. And, that kind of peace is unrealistic, at least long-term.
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What does the Bible say about peace?
The Bible has a lot to say about peace. In fact, according to Quora, the word “peace” appears over 420 times in the KJV! We can’t possibly cover everything the Bible has to say about peace in this post, but here are a few thoughts to get you started:
Ultimate peace with God is made possible by Jesus’s death on the cross.
For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and by Him to reconcile all things to Himself, by Him, whether things on earth or things in heaven, having made peace through the blood of His cross. (Colossians 1:19-20 ESV).
Because peace is given to us by God, true peace is not possible without God. Jesus’s death on the cross to atone for our sins (and our acceptance of this free gift) is the only thing that provides us with a way to be in right standing with God. It starts here.
Jesus is the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6).
Peace ultimately comes from God. The Lord is peace, and we are called to seek Him. Therefore, peace is something believers should pursue (Psalm 34:14) and desire.
Peace is one of the fruit of the Spirit
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23 ESV)
The Holy Spirit dwells in those who are truly in Christ and have accepted Him as their Lord and Savior. The Spirit works in our hearts and our lives, with the goal of transforming us to be more and more like the Lord. So, if we are truly walking in the Spirit and allowing Him to lead us, we will exhibit peace in our conduct.
“The Lord is peace, and we are called to seek Him.”
Will You Accept the Peace Jesus Offers?
What I've shared about peace is just the tip of the iceberg of what could be a very in-depth study! I encourage you to take the time and search the Scriptures for more Bible verses about peace (I’ve listed a few at the end of this post to get you started!), and what else the Lord has to tell you about pursuing peace, seeking peace, and letting peace rule in your heart (Colossians 3:15).
The fact of the matter is-- peace is offered to us, but we have the choice as to whether or not we will take it.
John 16:33 speaks of such peace, so I want to take a look at what Jesus has to say in the context of verses 25 through 33, and why it's in our best interest to accept the peace He offers. Grab your Bible, sister, and read along!
It starts with God’s love
In verse 25, Jesus, as He continues in His conversation with His disciples, says that “these things” He’s told them (namely, what we read in the previous verses), He spoke in figurative language. Yet, soon a time would come when He would no longer speak to them this way, but He would speak plainly.
He assures them that the time is coming when they will be able to (as we can) personally approach God and ask for things, as well as pray in Jesus’s name (John 16.26).
Why can we do this (ask and pray directly to the Father)? Because “the Father Himself loves you” (John 16:27). In Christ, we have full access to God. Jesus does not have to persuade the Father to be gracious to us. He doesn’t have to persuade Him to be LOVE to us.
God’s Love leads to our faith
We typically describe our state prior to being saved as being separated from God, living under God’s wrath, and children of the prince of the world (see Ephesians 2:1-3 and Romans 5:8-9).
Although this is true, God didn’t send Jesus into the world because he hated us so much. He sent Jesus because He “so loved the world” (John 3:16).
Let me say it another way: Jesus’s death didn’t cause God to love us. God already loved us. Christ’s death on the cross tells us and shows us that God is love. It fixed the separation we once had from Him.
When Jesus says in John 16:27, “for the Father Himself loves you because you have loved me,” it’s not saying God’s love for us is conditional on whether or not we love Jesus. Just as Jesus’s death didn’t change God into love, our love for Jesus doesn’t change God into love for us. Our love for Jesus is evidence of the Father’s love for us.
“We love Him because He first loved us (1 John 4:19 NKJV).
It’s important to understand what part of the equation we are, especially in a world that preaches “I”-- I need to do something, I need to make this happen, I can do it on my own. We don’t cause the effect. We can do nothing without the Father (John 15:5).
In John 16:29-32, we see some light bulbs go off. The disciples felt like they finally got it now. They understood. They believed that Jesus knew what He was talking about, Who He truly is, and that He “came forth from God.” Because of what Jesus proclaimed in verse 28, they felt He was now speaking plainly. They felt confident in their faith in Him.
Our faith and its connection to His peace
We have to understand God’s love in order to have faith; otherwise, all God has done and continues to do just doesn’t make sense to us. Things feel like a bunch of “figures of speech” as they did with the disciples.
But, do we truly believe?
We see Jesus ask His disciples this very question in John 16:31. When He asked, “Do you now believe?”, I don’t think he was necessarily doubting or questioning their faith, as much as He was asking because He was about to warn them of things to come-- troubling events that would scatter them and make them question their faith.
He wanted them to contemplate just how solid their faith was. We should do the same.
How solid is our faith? Are we like the disciples, in one moment expressing our confident faith in the Lord; and in the next, scattering and leaving Him during hard times (John 16:32)?
In Jesus’s case, when His disciples retreated, He knew He was not truly alone. The Father was with Him. Jesus put His stock in His close relationship with the Father, not in man. And, the same should be true for us because this is how it is when we truly abide in the Father.
When our total reliance is on Him, even when everyone leaves, we aren’t alone.
“Jesus put His stock in His close relationship with the Father, not in man. And, the same should be true for us.”
John 16:33 — the choice we have
“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NKJV)
When we understand the string of truths mentioned above, we will desire to make the decision to accept His peace.
Notice how the text says, “that in Me you may have peace.” He offered them peace. He wanted them to know that no matter what was about to happen, especially as they decided to scatter on their own, His peace was there for the taking.
We have to choose his peace and accept it.
This peace is in Christ alone. Simply following Jesus does not guarantee us this peace. It's a guarantee that He has it ready and willing for us, yes-- but, we must choose to seek it. We find this peace in Him, by relying on and abiding in Him. But, whether or not we will rely upon and abide in Him is our choice.
We could live our whole lives as Christians and deny ourselves his peace— or, choose the wrong "peace.”
Christ’s peace is alive even in the midst of bad circumstances, conflict, and tribulation. The kind of peace the world offers means everything is calm and perfect, and it's false. Contrary to what “they” say, we don’t find peace in anything else the world offers, such as money, fame, careers, or relationships.
his peace is powerful.
True peace in Christ is so powerful that it can exist along with tribulation and still hold us steady. It’s not rocked or weakened by outside circumstances. And, we know tribulation is promised-- so why not take the peace He offers?
So, Sister: Be of good cheer!
The phrase “be of good cheer” in Greek means to have courage, or be of good comfort. Jesus commonly said this phrase at times when people were afraid (such as when He walked on water and approached His disciples’ boat), or when He was healing someone. These words brought comfort to the hearer and signaled the onset of some sort of good news to follow.
In this case, the good news to follow was literally THE GOOD NEWS-- the Gospel. Christ’s death overcame. He wasn’t telling them, “Things will get better if you only do this or that, so cheer up.” This wasn’t a victory to be won by themselves. It was Christ’s victory. He overcame the world. There is no strength or comfort in the things we do. It’s Christ alone.
BUT, Christ’s victory is our victory. We are joint-heirs with Christ, so we share both in His sufferings (tribulations) and in His victory.
Hallelujah.
Bible verses about peace
Looking for a few Bible verses about peace? There are TONS in the Scriptures. Here are a few to get you started!
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. (John 14:27 ESV)
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. (Colossians 3:15 ESV)
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all. (2 Thessalonians 3:16 ESV)
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 ESV)
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How to Purposely Pray Over Your Children
Prayer is one of the most beautiful parts of our relationship with Christ that we get to enjoy. I mean, think about it– at any point, on any given day, and at absolutely any time, we can have a conversation with the Almighty God. The same…
Prayer is one of the most beautiful parts of our relationship with Christ that we get to enjoy. I mean, think about it– at any point, on any given day, and at absolutely any time, we can have a conversation with the Almighty God. The same God who created the universe (Genesis 1:1). The same God who knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). The same God who sent His only Son to die so that you could be made right in His eyes, and yes– have a complete, VIP, all-access pass straight into His throne room (Ephesians 2:18).
But sometimes we can take this for granted.
At times, our prayers are weak, quick, or just a thing we check off our to-do list. Sometimes we tell a sister, “I’ll pray for you,” yet the prayer request gets lost in the heaviness of our own day. We have every intention to spend ample time communing with the Lord, but things “get in our way,” or “take up our time,” compressing our prayer life into a simple, “Please, thank you, Jesus. Amen.”
I pray (no pun intended) I’m not alone in this.
Regardless, we know prayer is important. It’s important in all aspects of our lives, but as mothers– it’s especially important in the lives of our children. A wise sister has often said to me, “Who else is going to pray for your children more than you?”
Since my children were very little, I’ve prayed specific blessings and Scriptures over them. I’ll share them in a bit.
But first, let’s stop and really think about our approach to prayer and why it’s important.
What is prayer?
Prayer is communication with God. Talking to Him, crying out to Him, praising Him, or petitioning Him– whether aloud or from the depths of our heart– all constitute prayer. When we pray, we have the opportunity to bear our soul before our Heavenly Father. Although He is omniscient, searches our hearts, and knows every intent of our thoughts (1 Chronicles 28:9), He still desires that we bring everything to Him.
Like any good father, He wants to hear from us regularly. He wants to know our pains, struggles, and greatest joys. He is faithful, and therefore we can always approach Him with thanksgiving.
Our prayers may not always be answered in the way that we think, but they are never for naught. They allow us to draw near to the Lord, and there is always much to learn as we humbly approach Him, trusting in His perfect will.
But, prayer isn't just about us speaking to God-- it also involves Him speaking with us. Oftentimes, it is better to simply be still and listen to what He has to say, as opposed to doing all of the talking.
What we learn from Nehemiah about prayer
The first chapter of the Old Testament book of Nehemiah begins with a powerful prayer, spoken by Nehemiah himself. At the time, Nehemiah was serving as cupbearer to the king in Susa (Nehemiah 1:11), and he received a bad report regarding the Jewish exiles who had returned to Jerusalem (1:3).
The news brought great distress to Nehemiah (1:4). He was distressed over the state of Jerusalem, as well as those he loved, and he took his sorrow to the Lord in prayer before doing anything else. We see this prayer beginning in verse 5 of the first chapter.
Significant elements of Nehemiah’s prayer
There are important pieces of Nehemiah’s prayer that we can implement practically in ours. Although there isn’t a specific method we need to use to pray each time, it can be helpful to keep a few things in mind as we approach the throne of grace:
Nehemiah praised the Lord first.
I said, “Please, Lord God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps the covenant and faithfulness for those who love Him and keep His commandments:” (1:5 NASB)
Although his heart mourned, he didn’t hesitate to still praise the Lord for who He is. Nehemiah’s opinion of God didn’t change based on the situation at hand.
He offered up prayer for all the children of Israel, interceding on their behalf.
Let Your ear now be attentive and Your eyes open, to hear the prayer of Your servant which I am praying before You now, day and night, on behalf of the sons of Israel Your servants… (1:6)
Just as Nehemiah prayed on behalf of all the children of Israel, we as moms can (and should) intercede for our own children in prayer. This isn’t just a one-time thing. The Word calls us to be diligent in our prayers (1 Thessalonians 5:17), whether they’re for ourselves or others.
He confessed their sins, including himself and his family in the confession.
…confessing the sins of the sons of Israel which we have committed against You; I and my father’s house have sinned. We have acted very corruptly against You and have not kept the commandments, nor the statutes, nor the ordinances which You commanded Your servant Moses. (1:6-7)
Notice his use of “we” and not “they.” Many times we tend to see the wrongs and faults of our kids. Perhaps we take these things to the Lord, asking Him to change their hearts, make them more obedient, or to help them see their sin for what it is. Yet, we have to be careful to not only share the sins of our children. We also need to see our own sin in each situation and include ourselves in our confessions.
Yes, they disobeyed repeatedly, or talked back— but did you yell at your kids in the process? Did you lose self-control, or let your anger brew?
Nehemiah, although living in another land, was quick to realize that he was still a part of his people, and therefore still a part of the sins they'd committed.
He acknowledged that God kept His promises in the past. therefore, he came before the Lord with the hope that He would continue to keep His promises.
They are Your servants and Your people whom You redeemed by Your great power and by Your strong hand. Please, Lord, may Your ear be attentive to the prayer of Your servant and the prayer of Your servants who delight to revere Your name, and please make Your servant successful today and grant him mercy before this man. (1:10-11)
Think about times in your past when God was faithful. Write them down. Remember them. Often, when we’re in the thick of things, our brains tend to get foggy about our past. Making a habit of calling to remembrance what He’s done in our lives and the lives of our children helps us to be confident in the fact that He will do it again. The situation may not look the same, but His faithfulness does not change.
What makes an effective prayer?
Prayer is open, honest, raw, and genuine. The Lord wants us to bear our soul to Him, seeking His will for our lives, and coming to Him in faith.
But, prayers don’t have to be lengthy to be effective. When Nehemiah humbly went before the king to ask for permission to return to Jerusalem, the king asked him what he requested. We see at the end of verse 4, and the start of verse 5:
So I prayed to the God of heaven. (2:4) Then I said to the king… (2:5)
The text doesn’t say that Nehemiah stepped away from the king or that there was a long pause between the king’s question and Nehemiah’s response. Assumably then, this was a quick, silent prayer in comparison to the one we see in the first chapter.
Nehemiah prays silently as he is literally standing before the king.
I love this. Before answering, he prays. He could have just said whatever popped into his mind, but he inquired of the Lord before opening his mouth.
“Pray first. Speak second.”
And, if you read on, you’ll notice he asked for some very specific things from the king– letters with specific details for specific people. In verse 8, Nehemiah narrates the text, explaining that the king granted these things to him “because the good hand of my God was on me.”
The hand of God was on him because he prayed first and spoke second. His requests were able to come from a position of what the Lord wanted to happen in order to complete His plans and purposes, not from Nehemiah’s perspective and what he thought would be best.
Effective prayers seek the will of the Lord first.
Praying for your children: 5 TipS
There is no right or wrong way to pray over your children. Just do it! Bring them boldly to the Lord’s throne and lay them at His feet.
Gleaning from Nehemiah, here are a few things to keep in mind:
#1: CONSIDER THE STATE OF YOUR CHILDREN, just as Nehemiah did concerning the state of Jerusalem. What is going on in their lives? Where do they struggle? Are they feeling pressured? Living in distress? In what areas do they do well?
Some of these answers we can see, and some we may need to inquire of the Lord.
#2: TAKE THEIR “STATE” TO THE LORD. Ask the Lord to lead you to specific Scriptures you can pray over your children to battle those issues. Keep in mind that the “state of your children” changes as they grow, so this is a regular observation and reflection to be had by you as their mother.
#3: INTERCEDE FOR YOUR CHILDREN. As Nehemiah prayed for the children of Israel, you too need to intercede on your children’s behalf. If you aren’t regularly praying for your own children, who is?
#4: REMEMBER THE LORD’S FAITHFULNESS. In prayer, you can remember the Lord’s faithfulness in the past, which helps you to have hope in His faithfulness in the present. Knowing this truth keeps you from dwelling on the current struggles you face in motherhood or your children’s “state” now.
#5: DEVOTE TIME IN YOUR SCHEDULE TO PRAY. We’re busy moms, for sure. But, praying over your children is worth rearranging your schedule a bit so you can have ample time to take your cares and concerns before the Lord.
Remember His faithfulness to them in the past, and know that the good work that He started, He will complete (Philippians 1:6).
“Consider the state of your children. Where do they struggle? In what areas do they do well?”
So, sister, what do you request?
You see the distresses of our children, and as the king asked Nehemiah, “What do you request?” (Nehemiah 2:4). In the same fashion, typically you may ask yourself, What should I do?
Will you look at the situation and do what you think is best? Or, like Nehemiah, will you pray to the God of Heaven?
What would the Lord have you do? Sometimes He gives you numerous details. Sometimes He simply gives you the single next step to take.
I want the good hand of my God to be on me, especially in eternal matters– like the lives of my children.
How to pray Scriptures over your children
It sounds redundant, but sometimes you have to pray about what you should pray about. Meaning, you need to ask the Lord for deeper insight into your life and the lives of your children. When I’ve done this, He’s oftentimes led me to particular Scriptures (or lessons we can take from specific Scriptures) that I can pray.
I pray...
That my daughter would have the courage of Esther.
That she would understand pride comes before the fall (Proverbs 16:18).
That my son would have the steadfastness for the Lord, like Daniel.
That he would desire to only declare the truth (Proverbs 12:17).
That my children would grow in wisdom and stature, in favor of God and man (Luke 2:52).
That they’d find a friend like Jonathan. Jonathan and David’s relationship exemplifies honor, self-sacrifice, putting God’s plan for David ahead of self-interest, commitment, protection, and standing up for the other. (Read my guest post at Undoubted Grace about Godly Friendships!)
Each prayer has been placed on my heart for certain reasons, and it's encouraging to see various aspects of each come to fruition in different ways.
Sister, let’s be diligent to pray for our children without ceasing!
Are there specific things you’re praying over your children? Share in the comments below!
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15 Encouraging Psalms You Can Hold Onto
When we are struggling, going through a difficult season, or even experiencing joyful times– the Psalms is a great book in the Bible to turn to. In its many verses, you can find hope, strength, encouragement, and inspiration…
When we are struggling, going through a difficult season, or even experiencing joyful times– the Psalms is a great book in the Bible to turn to. In its many verses, we can find hope, strength, encouragement, and inspiration. But, in my opinion, one of the best things the Psalms do is help us keep our eyes focused on the Lord.
In good times, we have the natural tendency to focus on ourselves or how good our situation may be. It’s easy to forget to give God glory when we’re standing on a mountaintop.
In the hard times, it’s much easier to dwell on the situation at hand– how difficult it is, the many questions we may have, or the anxieties about the unknown outcome that we let fester within us. In our minds, we think we see clearly the things right in front of us.
Yet, what we see in this world we don’t truly see clearly. The sin, our limited thinking, and others’ input cloud our sight. We think the things of this world are more real than anything else– but, they’re not.
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The God of the universe is real. He is truer than anything we see, face, or perceive on this earth and in our lives.
But, sometimes we forget that. Am I right, sister? At least I know I do. I can’t see the forest for the trees, and I forget that I serve an amazing, strong, and mighty God who is all-knowing and all-powerful. He is over all things, and yes– that includes any circumstances we face right now.
So, whether you’re looking for Bible verses about hope, protection, encouragement, or guidance, the Psalms is a good place to start.
The Psalms we’ll visit in this post come from the first third of the book. Obviously, there are many more that could be listed. I encourage you to spend some time reading the rest of this beautifully written book and bask in His goodness!
So, let’s dive into my list of encouraging and powerful Psalms! Along the way, we’ll also discuss what we can learn from them, what they tell us about the Lord, and how to pray using the verses.
All scriptures are noted in ESV.
Psalms About Encouragement
If you’re looking for encouraging Bible verses, the Psalms is one of the best places to go. Maybe you’re like me– you have encouraging Scripture verses on your fridge, in your journal, or earmarked in your Bible. Let these sweet promises feed your soul today.
Psalm 27:13-14: “I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”
Psalm 31:24: “Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!”
Psalm 55:22: “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”
What we learn from these Psalms:
We can see the goodness of the Lord if we only look
We should wait for the Lord and His timing
The Lord calls us to be strong and take courage
We can cast our burdens on Him, knowing He’ll sustain us
What does the Lord do for us, according to these Psalms?
He calls us to wait on Him
He strengthens the hearts of those who wait on Him
He sustains us when we cast our burdens on Him
He doesn’t allow us to be moved
How can we pray these Psalms?
Dear Lord, You are so good. Thank you for strengthening me when I need it, and for not allowing me to be shaken or moved. I pray that I would willingly cast my cares and burdens on You, trusting that You’ll sustain me. Help me to wait for You, knowing You will strengthen my heart as I wait.
Psalms About the Lord’s Protection and Deliverance
How do you ask God for protection, and what does the Bible say about God keeping us safe?
Psalm 18:2-3: “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.”
Psalm 5:11-12: “But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O Lord; you cover him with favor as with a shield.”
Psalm 37:39: “The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.”
What we learn from these Psalms:
The Lord is our: rock, fortress, deliverer, shield, the horn of our salvation, and stronghold
We can take refuge in Him
We should praise the Lord, for He is worthy
We can rejoice and have joy in Him
We are covered in His favor
What does the Lord do for us, according to these Psalms?
He saves us from our enemies when we call on Him
He provides refuge
He spreads protection over us
He blesses the righteous
Salvation is from Him
How can we pray these Psalms?
Dear Lord, thank You for your protection and deliverance from all my enemies. You save me in times of trouble. I can come to you for safety, knowing you are my shield. I praise You simply because You are worthy to be praised.
Psalms About the Lord’s Safety
What does the Bible say about safety and protection? Quite a bit, especially in the Psalms! Many of David’s psalms were written at times when he was in heavy distress while being pursued by his enemies. I love the raw, uncut passion, uneasiness, and vulnerability he often communicated; yet at the same time, he shared his hope in the Lord.
Psalm 4:8: “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”
Psalm 7:10: “My shield is with God, who saves the upright in heart.”
Psalm 62:6: “He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.”
What we learn from these Psalms:
We can lie down in peace
God is our shield
God is our rock, salvation, and fortress
What does the Lord do for us, according to these Psalms?
He makes us dwell in safety
He saves the upright in heart
He doesn’t allow us to be shaken
How can we pray these Psalms?
Dear Lord, I pray that You will not let me forget that You are the only safety net I need. You keep me in your care and protection, and when I am with You, I dwell safely. I know that I can sleep peacefully because Your presence is with me. I thank You that when I allow You to be my only rock, I cannot be moved.
Psalms About the Lord’s Guidance
What does the Bible say about making good decisions? The Lord is there for us, not only for protection and safety but also for guidance as well. God cares about our decision-making, and He wants us to make purposeful decisions that honor Him. But, how can we do that?
Psalm 16:8-11: “I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
Psalm 37:23: “The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way.”
What we learn from these Psalms:
Our first step is to set the Lord before us and our situations
The Lord is at our right hand
We can dwell securely because of His presence
In His presence, there is joy and pleasures
We can delight in the way He has for us
His presence should make our hearts glad and rejoice
What does the Lord do for us, according to these Psalms?
He is the one who establishes our steps
He does not allow us to be shaken
He keeps us secure
He does not abandon us or allow us to see corruption
He allows His path for us to be known by us
How can we pray these Psalms?
Dear Lord, I know so many times in my life I want to be the first to take the reigns. Yet, this is not what You prefer for me I’m thankful that You always have a path for me. I pray that You’d help me always to set You and only You before my thoughts and my actions. You keep me secure and You don’t abandon me. When I am tempted to direct my own steps, I pray that You would guide me back to Your way, where I can experience Your fullness of joy.
Psalms About the Lord’s Care For Us
Psalm 23 is a favorite when answering the question, How does God care for us? We see Him in this Psalm as the Shepherd, leading and caring for His precious sheep— us. As we’ve learned so far, His protection, safety, and guidance all contribute to the tangible ways in which He cares for His own.
Psalm 23:6: “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
Psalm 33:18: “Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love.”
Psalms 34:17: “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.”
Psalms 40:1-3: “I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.”
What we learn from these Psalms:
We can cry for help, being confident the Lord will hear us
The Lord will deliver us from our troubles
We will dwell in the house of the Lord forever
We should fear (reverence) Him, and keep our hope in His love
We need to patiently wait for the Lord
When we praise Him, others will take notice and put their trust in Him
What does the Lord do for us, according to these Psalms?
He pursues us with His goodness and mercy
He watches over us
He not only hears our cries but answers them as well
He delivers us from our troubles
He pulls us up from the pit that tries so desperately to keep us ensnared, and sets our feet upon a rock
He puts songs of praise in our mouths
How can we pray these Psalms?
Dear Lord, when I am down, stuck, and feel there is no way out, I’m thankful that You set me upon Your solid rock. You keep Your eye on me and listen for my cry. Thank You for responding and delivering me, time and time again. I ask that You help me to wait patiently on You, not taking matters into my own hands. Help me to remember that You will always come. And, when You put that sweet song in my mouth, may I sing it unabashedly so that You can be glorified and praised to all the people.
Free Bible Study: Finding Trust, Praise, and Faithfulness in the Psalms
I pray this list of encouraging Psalms Bible verses has helped you see more clearly who the Lord is and what He does for you when you trust in Him. In order for you to continue your study of His goodness, I have a gift for you: a FREE Bible Study!
The Finding Trust, Praise, and Faithfulness in the Psalms Bible Study will focus on several Psalms that talk about the topics of trust, praise, and faithfulness. The 16-page study will follow a similar format as above, inviting you to ponder what you can learn from the verses, what the Lord says He will do, and finally, space to write a prayer.
Download YOUR FREE Bible Study using the form below.
What are your favorite encouraging Bible verses? Let me know in the comments below!