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Creating a Morning Routine that Honors the Lord
Moms, we must make time for God. Does your morning routine reflect that? No matter how busy we are, God has entrusted us with the lives of tiny humans, giving us the privilege and responsibility to…
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Motherhood is hard. But mama, you know what? It doesn’t have to be as hard as we make it sometimes. Jesus calls us to come to Him and give Him our burdens when we’re weary; and to cast our cares on Him.
Are you in the habit of doing that, sister?
Full disclosure– sometimes I do; but, often I don’t. Many times I get overwhelmed, worried, and anxious in my parenting. There are so many things to do, schedules to manage, places to be, and people to care for.
But God.
God can handle all the things. He will calm our hearts, give us peace, and gently lead us in the direction we should go– if we let Him.
I’ve found that I struggle with these negative (and unnecessary) feelings the most when I am not seeking Him and studying the Word regularly. This happens when my morning routine is slacking and lacking.
Moms– we must, must, must find a way to make time for God. No matter how busy we are. God has entrusted us with the lives of tiny humans, giving us the privilege and responsibility to raise them to be productive citizens in society, who fear the Lord. In my opinion, this is the most important job in the world.
Therefore, we have no excuse. Yup, I said it! No excuse. These little eyes, hearts, and minds depend on us to train them up in the way they should go.
Yet, if we aren’t taking the time to allow the Lord to continue to train us up, how can we in turn expect to have the godly wisdom and knowledge to pass on to our children?
RELATED: 22 Tips for Making Time for God as a Busy Mom
How to Prepare for your Morning Routine
Creating an effective morning routine as a Christian mom is more than doing small and sometimes insignificant things to make your day more productive. You can find a lot of tips, tricks, and articles on the web about general morning routines.
Sis– that’s not what we’re going to focus on today, ok?
Here at A Woman Created On Purpose, I feel called to equip you in your walk with the Lord. So let’s use our time wisely and focus on the things that are actually important to the Lord, shall we?
So, when I say morning routine, I’m not talking about making the perfect cup of coffee, or what music to listen to as you work out (not that coffee, music, and working out are bad– I love all of those things!).
What I’m talking about is coming before the Lord. And, since coming before the Lord is such a major thing, before creating the perfect morning routine, I think it’s important to do a few things:
#1: PRAY. ask the Lord to help you be consistent in your schedule.
We all know that the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41). You may truly want to have a consistent quiet time with the Lord in the morning; but, late nights, overnight feedings, or draining schedules leave moms weary in the mornings.
Pray for strength each morning, so you don’t constantly give into your flesh.
#2: Decide where you will do your quiet time.
Pick a special spot in your house to study the Word, whether it’s a favorite chair or a quiet room. Eventually, this place will become mentally synonymous with your quiet time.
#3: Find a time of day that works for you.
Since you’re reading the “Morning Routines” article, I’m assuming you’ve chosen the morning (or you’re entertaining the idea!).
There is something powerful about starting the day off in the presence of the Lord, but if you’re not a morning person, don’t try to become one overnight. You can check out the next two parts of this series to learn about Afternoon Routines and Evening Routines.
Whatever time of day you prayerfully choose, ask the Lord to remove obstacles you may face day to day.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. ”
The Importance of Morning Routines for Moms
Our days need to be hemmed and wrapped in prayer. I don’t know about you, but my 24 hours seem longer, harder, and more tiresome when I forsake my time with the Lord.
If we want a day where we are keeping the Lord and His Word first and foremost in our minds, then we need to put the Lord first and foremost in our schedule.
Seeking the Lord first puts our minds in the right framework. We can give our control, worries, schedule, and hearts to the Lord when we seek Him first. Also, we can do a better job of mentally preparing for the day when we allow ourselves to bask in His glory with the sunrise.
When we wholly give ourselves over to Him first thing, we’re less likely to take ourselves back into our own control throughout the day.
Bible verses about morning prayer
Although we can seek the Lord at any time of day (and we should!) there is something encouraging about seeking the Lord in the morning. It is like wrapping the day up in a protective covering and shield, powered by the Lord. If you’re looking for Bible verses about morning prayer and seeking the Lord first, be inspired by these:
My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; In the morning I will direct it to You, and I will look up. (Psalm 5:3 NKJV)
Let me hear in the morning of Your steadfast love, for in You I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul. (Psalm 143:8 ESV)
I rise before dawn and cry for help; I hope in Your words. (Psalm 119:147 ESV)
But I will sing of Your strength; I will sing aloud of Your steadfast love in the morning. For You have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress. (Psalm 59:16 ESV)
But I, O Lord, cry to You; in the morning my prayer comes before You. (Psalm 88:13 ESV)
10 Uncomplicated Steps to Creating a Productive Morning Routine
So, sister– let’s get into it! Your morning routine may look different than mine, but there are some basic things we can all do to create the ultimate morning routine for ourselves.
“If we want a day where we are keeping the Lord and His Word first and foremost in our minds, then we need to put the Lord first and foremost in our day.”
#1: Determine how much time you’d like to spend before the Lord.
There is no right or wrong answer to this! Set a loose goal for how much time you’d like to spend praying and in the Word. Be gracious with the amount of time, knowing that there will likely be things that cut the time shorter than you prefer.
#2: Set your alarm for at least 45 minutes before your children wake up.
Be sure to account for the timeframe you determined in Step #1, so you may need more than 45 minutes.
When we allow our children to be our alarm clock, we set ourselves up to begin the day frazzled. Not that our children are a constant cause of stress (!), but we as mothers need to remember that first, even before our motherhood, we are a daughter of God.
We need time to be His daughter, alone, before engaging in our role as a mom.
#3: Pray the night before.
If you’ve ever been a morning workout person, you know that one of the things that can help to ensure you follow through with your morning exercise is to set out your workout clothes the night before. I’ve even heard people say they sleep in their workout clothes!
The idea is that you need to determine the night before the things you will do in the morning. Thankfully as Christians, we have the power of the Holy Spirit to help us be accountable; we don’t have to do this in our own strength.
Before going to bed, say a short prayer, asking the Lord to give you strength and mental clarity in the morning, and to help you uphold your commitment to meeting with Him.
#4: Get up!
Don’t you dare hit that snooze button, sister! Turn your alarm ringtone to something that sounds pleasant and invigorating, and puts a smile on your face. Get up and get moving.
#5: Don’t waste time doing unnecessary tasks.
I love starting my day with a cup of coffee, but I don’t want it to be an extra chore in the morning. I typically prep the coffee maker the night before, so that at the crack of dawn, I only have to hit a button or two to get the joe flowing.
I also give you permission to ignore the leftover dishes in the sink, the room that needs tidying up, and the looming to-do list. It’s not time for that yet! First thing in the morning is primetime for the Lord.
#6: Hold off on the electronics.
I have Bible apps on my phone that I use during my study time, but other than that, all other apps are avoided until my time with the Lord is done. Do your best to ignore email and social media notifications. Don’t even open the apps– we all know how easy it is to get sucked into the digital world!
Outside media has a way of heavily distracting us from focusing on the Lord– not just in the morning, but throughout the day. Be mindful that you aren’t wasting your precious quiet time reading about everyone else’s life on Facebook or responding to emails. There is always time for that later.
#7: Prepare your study materials the night before.
Could you imagine diligently popping out of bed when the alarm clock rings, getting your coffee in a jiffy and eliminating all distractions– only to waste 15 minutes gathering your necessary study tools?
Whether it’s just your Bible (which is enough!), or your Bible along with a journal, pens, highlighters or study guides– place your study tools in your quiet time area the night before. Having everything ready to go removes the need to scurry around for it in the morning.
get the most out of your study time
Download this set of FREE Bible Study Printables to assist you during your quiet time! This 5-page download includes a place to take notes, create a weekly or monthly reading plan, and to capture verses that speak to your heart. Fill out the form below.
The less you feel you have to work to put your morning routine into motion, the more you’ll be motivated to stick with it.
#8: Pray before you get started.
This may seem obvious, but don’t miss it! Not only should you pray over what you’ll be reading and that the Lord will give you wisdom and understanding of His Word, but it’s also a good idea to pray over your morning routine itself.
Do you struggle with being extra tired as you read? Does your mind start to wander as you pray? Are you looking at the words of Scripture on the page, but mentally preparing your grocery list at the same time?
Pray and ask the Lord to give you undistracted (internally and externally) peace and quiet as you study.
And can I share a secret? I even pray that the Lord would keep my children asleep until I’m finished with what He wants me to read that morning!
#9: Focus. Focus. Focus.
Purpose to sit and be still for the entirety of your study time. I know your coffee needs warming. What was that noise upstairs, anyway? Ooops, there were clothes left in the washer last night that needed to be placed in the dryer. What time is that appointment, again?
All of those things can wait. The more you get up and interrupt yourself, the less you are soaking in what the Lord has for you. Your morning routine is not the time to multitask. Focus on hearing from the Lord, not on your present circumstances.
So, finish reading the verse, the passage, or the chapter. Whatever you felt led to study that morning, be diligent to stay put until you do so.
#10: Help your children start their day with the Lord.
You’ve just spent ample time with the Lord, and now your little blessings are awake. Will you forget everything the Lord revealed to you, or could you pass it along?
If appropriate, share a few truths with your little ones as they begin their day. Whether this is casually over breakfast, or in a devotional-type setting, getting your children in the habit of thinking about the Lord first and foremost sets them up to have their own quiet times as they get older.
Plus, we all know the best way to imprint what you’ve just learned is to not only take action on it, but to also teach it to someone else.
RELATED: How to Purposely Pray Over Your Children
Morning Routine: Bonus Thoughts for Working Moms
The 10 Tips above are coming from my perspective as a current, stay-at-home mom. I understand that it sounds easier said than done, depending on the number of children you have and their ages, and whether you work full-time or part-time, out of the house, or at home.
I remember how differently my morning routine looked when I was a mom working full-time, with two kids under the age of 4.
#1: Consider the Lord’s wisdom
For my working sisters, please know that although your mornings are probably busier, as you also must prepare for your day away from your children, the Lord will give you the wisdom to know how you can make spending time with Him a priority.
#2: Prior Proper Planning
Perhaps you do the bulk of your work-day preparation the night before:
Pick out your outfit (and your little one’s)
Shower
Prep and pack certain components of your lunch and school lunches
Pack the diaper bag
Prep the coffee maker
Maybe you have to get up an extra 20 minutes earlier to account for the time it takes to get dressed and do your hair and makeup; however, if many of these time-wasting tasks are handled the night before, you have much less to do in the morning!
#3: continue to converse with the lord
Work schedules can change, whether you have meetings or events; morning schedules can change when children are sick. But, as you continue to seek the Lord, you will see ways to make a productive morning routine possible. He’ll show you things you can change, adjust, or cut out so that He can be a priority.
The fact is that God wants us to seek Him and keep His Word, and He promises that those who do will be blessed (Psalm 119:2). Therefore, if you genuinely want to make the Lord a priority in your day, He will help you establish this time and sustain you through it.
“Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, who seek Him with their whole heart.”
Sister, we’ve got this.
As we work to set up a productive morning routine, please remember that it doesn’t have to be perfect. Things will arise. There will be unavoidable emergencies. Children will wake up a bit too early. You’ll get sick one morning and decide to stay in bed to get more rest.
Give yourself grace— because God does. He is always there, whether you missed your morning quiet time or not. He doesn’t move farther away throughout the day. He is waiting patiently for you to come to Him, seek Him, and spend time with Him.
So, although obstacles may come– don’t purposely stand Him up. Don’t leave Him hanging, sis. He’s your first love and He deserves to be honored.
Remembering that it’s all about Him, and not our perfect morning flow can help us start and stick with a morning routine that pleases and glorifies Him.
How to Make Decisions: 6 Simplified Tips
Before we get to the place where we’re ready to make a decision, we need to believe that the Lord has our backs no matter what. He is for us. He has…
About a month or two ago, I started to feel really guilty. That mom guilt kind of guilt. The guilt that comes when you know you’ve slacked on something as a parent.
For my husband and me, it was teaching our kids how to ride a bike.
I know, I know. Such a common, almost universal skill that many kids learn in their youngest years. How dare we slack on this and rob our kids of the enjoyment of bike riding? At this rate, I was thinking our kids would one day become adults who would never rightly understand the figure of speech, “It’s just like riding a bike!”
They’ve always had bikes. We’ve just never really worked with them enough to get past the training wheels phase. Because, well… life.
So one spring day, as I watched them ride up and down the sidewalk on their scooters, it hit me that as 7 and 9-year-olds, they’ve got no two-pedal skills. And, it really hit me. I felt so bad, and as I said, very guilty.
At that moment, I just spoke what was on my heart to the Lord, and asked Him to help us find the time to teach them how to ride a bike this summer.
Not more than two weeks later, the neighbor boy gave them his old bike upon getting a new one as a gift. His old bike was a smaller bike with no training wheels, much cooler than my daughter’s which still donned its training wheels. Immediately my kids wanted to attempt to ride it.
And guess what– in a matter of a day or two, they were cruising up and down our sidewalk on this bike. With no training wheels.
Both of my kids taught themselves how to ride a bike.
God provided a smaller bike that they could easily learn how to balance on, and that didn’t look intimidating.
God equipped them with the smarts and physical coordination to learn how to balance, pedal, and steer without crashing or falling.
And, it didn’t take all summer. It took two days.
My guilt, toil, and feeling of failure over our lack of parental guidance in this life skill were dissipated because the Lord had my back.
I cried out to Him over something I perceived as small, yet because it caused an ache in my heart, and because He is a good, loving, and caring Father– He did something about it.
He showed me (once again) just how much He truly cares about every little detail of our lives. And, He showed me that when I let Him handle those details, I’m really not that important of a piece of the equation after all.
The Pre-Decision-Making Process
If you're wondering what my bike story has to do with learning how to make decisions, the answer is: Everything.
Before we get to the place where we’re ready to make a decision, we need to believe that the Lord has our backs no matter what. He is for us. He has plans and purposes for us, and no matter what we do or don’t do (like teach our kids bike skills!), He always has plots and plans being orchestrated behind the scenes.
God is in the details.
When we seek Him first and let Him know the desires of our hearts, He will take care of it all. It may not look the way we think and it may not work out the way we hoped– but, however it does work out, we can trust Him knowing that His plans are forever good.
What does the Bible say about decision-making?
One of the main themes in all of the Bible is the topic of trust. Wouldn’t you agree? The Lord wants us to wholly trust Him in all things– in the big and the small (Proverbs 3:5-6). It begins with trusting in Jesus as the Lord and Savior of our life.
From there, if we’re truly submitted to Him, He wants us to hand our lives over to Him.
His will be done.
This is the first step in our decision-making process. It starts with our surrender, and our openness to commit our works to the Lord so that He can establish our plans (Proverbs 16:3).
Decision-making should come from a place of humility and submission before the Lord, as opposed to selfish intentions and motivations.
“ All the ways of a person are clean in his own sight, but the LORD examines the motives.”
Bible verses for making decisions
The Bible is full of so much wisdom. It literally is a handbook for how to live our lives properly on this earth. So, it’s no surprise that within Scripture we can find numerous Bible verses for making decisions that please the Lord:
The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps. (Proverbs 14:15 ESV)
One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless. (Proverbs 14:16 ESV)
The mind of a person plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps. (Proverbs 16:9 NASB)
Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed. (Proverbs 15:22 NASB)
Teach me good discernment and knowledge, for I believe in Your commandments. (Psalm 119:66 NASB)
How to know the will of God
When we’re in the process of making a decision, one of the first things we should do after committing to humbly submit to the will of God is to do our best to discern what the will of God actually is.
Figuring out how to know the will of God is not as complicated as most may think. You see, God’s Word doesn’t change. God doesn’t change. Therefore, even though circumstances may look differently for each decision you are faced with, God’s will for your life is consistent.
Generally speaking, God’s will for all of our lives is to trust Him, walk in His ways, share the good news of His love, and glorify Him in all that we do.
I know what you’re thinking– Shanna, how does that help me to know the will of God so I can decide whether or not to take this job? Or move across the country? Homeschool, public, or private school? Stay in this relationship or end it?
Again, let’s not overcomplicate it. Start with prayer. Seek God for the nitty-gritty details in the web of questions you may have.
Then, ask Him to show you the best path that will allow you to:
Grow in and show your full, undivided trust in Him.
Faithfully continue to walk in His ways, according to His Word.
Be in a position where you can grow in your faith and share His love with others.
Glorify Him in the decision you make.
This isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula, but as my husband and I have made major decisions in life, considering all of these things have helped us discern the wisest path to take.
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Trust God’s Plan
One of the most crucial things we can learn to master in our Christian walk is the habit of trusting God in all circumstances. The path the Lord instructs us to take may not be the decision we’d hoped for. We may have thought that a different path would make more sense.
But, the Lord can see the bigger picture. He has bigger purposes than we can fathom. And, let’s not forget that He causes all things to work together for the good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
“One who pays attention to the word will find good, and blessed is one who trusts in the Lord.”
Trusting God to lay out our plans isn’t always easy, but He promises blessings for those who do. When we seek Him, stay faithful to His Word, and commit our ways to Him, we can be sure He is not leading us into a path of darkness.
His plans do not fail.
How to Make Decisions: 6 Practical Tips
Sister, let’s keep this simple. Life and circumstances can be complicated enough. The Lord doesn’t want you drowning in a sea of frustration over the decision-making process.
When you do, this puts the decision itself in a place of being an idol in your heart. Meaning– your thoughts will become so consumed with the decision in and of itself, that you use that as a navigational starting point or compass for your life.
Yet, God should always be the focal point. He determines the outcome of your life, no matter what your decisions may be. Nothing you do can mess up His plans and purposes for your life because He is sovereign.
Here are a few practical tips to help you along your journey of making decisions:
#1: Be prepared to follow God’s will. Not your own.
Humility is key. Although the Lord has given you intelligence and the ability to make logical choices, sometimes following Him means you need to throw your own logic out the window. Ask the Lord to help you put your heart in a place that is fully surrendered to Him.
#2: Make sure your decisions line up with the will of God and His Word.
Always check your decisions against the Word. If what you think the Lord is telling you goes against Scripture, you can be sure it’s not from the Lord!
#3: Seek wise counsel.
It can be a good idea to bounce your thoughts off of a trusted, godly friend, mentor, or counselor. Be honest about the options you’re weighing, as well as what you believe the Lord is telling you. Sometimes this person may share some insight and wisdom, or give you another perspective to think about. They can also come alongside you in prayer about the decision you are facing.
#4: Be patient.
God’s timing is always perfect, even if it feels like forever to us! Be prepared to wait on Him. Waiting on God’s timing enables you to step forward at the right time, as opposed to making a rash decision.
#5: Make your decision in faith.
Act in faith, knowing that the Lord is orchestrating the plans and has your back. Even if it seems completely illogical or scary, trust that God will lead you every step of the way. He will provide for you and equip you with whatever you need. He always has your back.
#6: Cover everything in prayer.
Pray throughout your entire decision-making process. Keeping your line of communication with God open is the best thing you can do. You want to hear from Him directly about your decision, right? Well, He’d love to hear from you too.
Be Encouraged
Navigating how to make a decision isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be complicated either. There are little and big decisions; hard and painful decisions. But— God is sovereign over all. He will light our path and direct our steps as we let Him lead.
So, sister– trust that He already has plans in motion for you. He simply wants you to trust in Him more than you trust in your decisions.
Will you grip the handlebars tightly and pedal to your destination quickly with your blinders on; or, will you release your grip and let him do the steering?
You decide. ;)
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Here's a Reminder of Your Worth, Sister
Dear Sister who has lost sight of her value at the moment:
Maybe you’re so weary of what the world is telling you is right– how to look, what to believe, what’s important in life. You can’t seem to…
A Brief Note of Encouragement
Dear Sister who has lost sight of her value at the moment:
Maybe you’re weary of what the world is telling you is right– how to look, what to believe, what’s important in life.
You can’t seem to keep up with your friends and the “perfect” lives they display on Instagram. Everyone else is married. Everyone else is having kids. Everyone else is taking amazing vacations.
You feel disappointed by the way you’ve been treated. You’ve been ignored and left alone. You feel like even God has moved farther away.
Your children buck at your parenting skills and think your ways are so “mean.” Nothing you say seems to matter. You’re beginning to think that you can’t do anything right.
Well, Sister, shatter these lies in your mind with the power of Scripture. I’m here to tell you that the Lord has something different to say about your worth:
You were made perfectly, just the way you are.
For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother's womb (Psalm 139:13).
There is nothing wrong with you. Don’t let the world tell you anything different. If you are in Christ, you are a daughter of the Most High King. He didn’t mess up when He made you. You are the way you are because he knit you together that way. Your looks, your personality, your silly quirks, and those things you get compliments on all the time– they were all hand-picked and flawlessly designed by Him.
God’s work is wonderful— including you.
I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well (Psalm 139:14).
Everything the Lord created was good (Genesis 1). This includes you. You are part of His works, which means you are wonderful. You don’t have to try to be wonderful. You don’t have to perform or do more to be wonderful. The original version of you is wonderfully made.
You were purposefully created, down to the most intricate details.
My frame was not hidden from You, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth (Psalm 139:15).
God didn’t create you with His eyes closed. He didn’t just “throw you together.” Why do so many of us treat ourselves as if He did?
That thing you don’t like about your body, the quirks others have made fun of you for— all of those things have a purpose in your life. Instead of being disappointed that you don’t look or act like someone else, seek God and discover His thoughts behind the intricate details that make you your wonderful self.
“And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.”
God has fashioned you and your days.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them (Psalm 139:16).
Not only did God see you as He created you, but He also sees you now and all the days of your life. He is El Roi, the God who sees. Nothing that happens to you or that you decide to do comes as a surprise to Him. He’s the glue holding all of your life together, weaving each strand of fabric into a beautiful tapestry to represent your life. He is the greatest fashion designer of all time.
The Maker of the universe has precious thoughts about you.
How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand (Psalm 139:17-18).
When you feel overlooked or forgotten, remember that the Lord has countless thoughts about you all the time— precious thoughts.
If He created you, intricately, purposefully, and wonderfully, does that not mean that He calls you “good” and He is proud of His work? If this is the case, are not His thoughts of you, His daughter, good as well?
Your negative thoughts and feelings about yourself hold no weight against His. Dispel those thoughts. They are not the truth. What comes from the Lord, your Master Maker is truth.
Whether sleeping or awake, the Lord is happy to be with you.
I awake, and I am still with You (Psalm 139:18).
When no one else understands you. When not a single friend is by your side. When you know you’re innocent but no one believes you. When your head hits the pillow at night and you feel guilty about how you treated your kids, believing the lie that you’ve severely damaged them and they won’t forgive you.
In all of those times, the Lord is right by your side. He will not leave you, so don’t leave Him.
Take comfort in knowing that because He sees you and every detail of your thoughts, actions, and days, He knows who you truly are— yet still is happy to be with you.
He doesn’t flee when things get tough. He isn’t embarrassed to be seen with you because He’s not sure what others might think. He isn’t afraid of gossip.
He willingly fights for you, defends you, and goes to bat for you. You don’t have to be strong enough. He is with you and in Him is your peace, joy, and strength.
Find your value in the Lord
So Sister, will you join me in remembering who our God is? How He fashioned us? How He delights in us, His daughters?
The world will always tell you that there’s just “one more thing” you have to do or accomplish to become valuable. Whether it’s a career change, a fashion change, or a personality tweak. But God—
He tells us that we are already precious, valuable, and wonderfully made. He sent His only Son to die on the cross so we could have a restored relationship with Him. And even if you were the only person created in the world, He still would have sent Jesus to die for only you.
He bought us at the ultimate price and we can’t be stolen or let alone bought back— which makes us priceless.
Let’s find our value in Him and Him only. You are worth every moment He spent creating you.
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Humility in the Midst of the Unknown: A Lesson from Mary
It may seem weird to pair the word humility with the word unknown. Normally, when we’re thinking about journeying into the unknown, we’d…
It may seem weird to pair the word humility with the word unknown. Normally, when we’re thinking about journeying into the unknown, we’d use the word trust, or maybe even faith.
But humility is appropriate too. That’s because it’s the arch-nemesis of humility– pride– that sets off our struggle as we step into the unknown.
Pride hinders us from fully trusting the Lord and walking in faith.
I have first-hand experience in this area. August 2012 was initially like any other hot, summer August. I was working full-time during that season in my life, but I had a lot of paid time off I needed to use before the end of the fiscal year. So, during those weeks at home, I had a lot of quiet time with the Lord.
Before you jump to the conclusion that this was a beautiful, serene time— let me stop you right there. You see, we hadn’t had kids yet, but I felt the Lord strongly pressing upon my heart that it was time to start our family.
For someone whose only dream when growing up was to be a mom, you’d think I would have jumped at the Lord’s calling. But, I didn’t. I hesitated.
A lack of humility
At the time, we had people in our lives who truly wanted what was best for us and would help us to “stay on the right track” by offering advice and counsel. Nothing wrong with this– as long as it is godly counsel from a biblical perspective and worldview. In fact, Proverbs 11:14 tells us that there is safety in a multitude of counselors.
Encouraging us to make sure our finances were better first, or get out of debt, or buy a home first… these were some of the things we heard in terms of whether or not we were ready to have kids. Again, none of this was inherently wrong advice. The Bible tells us we should be good stewards of our money.
The only discrepancy with the advice was that I had a strong conviction from the Lord. He spoke directly to my heart about starting a family.
I hesitated with the Lord’s calling because I was too busy listening to everyone else’s counsel.
As I look back, my faith and reliance on the Lord were not as strong then as they are now. Be that as it may, I don’t recall the Lord ever bringing those personal finance matters to mind. They weren’t any of His concern– He simply called me to start a family.
It was my job to trust Him and proceed. Yet, the sin of pride was what kept me listening to others’ counsel overtop of the Lord’s.
RELATED: Trusting God When You Can’t See His Bigger Plans
Pride makes you wrestle with God
So that August, as I had time off work— time to be alone and commune with the Lord, He brought me to my knees. I call it my Jacob experience. You know, the time the Lord wrestled with Jacob at Peniel (Genesis 32:22-32).
I began feeling very irritable, emotional, and depressed, crying almost every day. This is how it began. Over the course of about 2 weeks, I agonized over the decision to get pregnant as the battle between man’s counsel and God’s counsel waged war in my mind.
It was a trying time— painful, confusing, and intense. Once I truly recognized what was going on, and that this was the Lord’s way of getting my attention, it all became clear.
He brought me out of my pride and into humble submission to the plans and purposes He had for me. He prevailed, His plans prevailed, and He showed me that what He calls me to do, I can only willingly do in submission to His will– once I remove the pride.
“Before destruction the heart of a person is haughty, But humility goes before honor.”
I had to remove the pride of: My plans are better; I need to fix things on my own before I do this; or, This idea sounds good, God, but I was thinking…
Pride keeps us in a place where we walk the dangerous line of destruction, falsely deceived into thinking we know best.
But we don’t. His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are above our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8).
Pride holds us back from purposely living for the Lord.
Pride makes us walk by sight, not by faith.
Humble Submission
When the Lord calls us to a hard decision, we cannot fully operate within the safety of His will when pride fills our hearts. We must allow Him to remove it.
Once we do, we can enter into a place of humility before Him, where we can bow to His will, and from there, humbly submit.
Once we humbly submit, then, ultimately, we can walk in faith. And, when we walk in faith, we have the peace that only the Lord can give us.
By the end of that August, after humbly submitting to the Lord’s timing, I was pregnant with our first child, who we welcomed into the world that following spring.
RELATED: How to Accept the Peace Jesus Offers
Finances weren’t an issue. It didn’t matter that we still lived in a two-bedroom apartment. It made no difference that we weren’t out of debt. All we needed was provided. Jehovah Jireh.
Because He is the Lord our God. And that is what He does.
Humility & Submission as Seen in Mary
We can look to Mary in the Bible, Jesus’s mother, as an example of what humility and submission look like. She is an amazing example of being willing to be used by the Lord, no matter the cost.
Unlike me, she did not buck at the calling the Lord gave her for weeks on end. She didn’t wrestle with Him for many days as she contemplated what others were telling her about her life.
When the angel Gabriel appeared to give her the message that Jesus would be conceived in her womb, she didn’t say ‘No.’ She didn’t say she wasn’t willing, or “What about this…?”. Her only question was a logistical one when she asked how this could happen since she was a virgin (Luke 1:26-34).
She didn’t even speak about the possible consequences of accepting a calling like this– being looked at as an adulterer, or how others would view Joseph, to whom she was betrothed.
No– her next words are ones we can all learn from:
“And Mary said, “Behold, the Lord’s bond-servant; may it be done to me according to your word.””
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Humility in the Bible
Humility is a heart attitude. It displays itself in our lives when we possess meekness, and we see ourselves rightly compared to God. Got Questions states, “True humility produces godliness, contentment, and security.”
Humility shouts, He is God; I am not.
Proverbs 22:4 says, “The reward of humility and the fear of the Lord are riches, honor, and life.” (NASB)
Pride is never rewarded. In fact, the Bible says repeatedly that pride comes before the fall, before destruction, and that the Lord will humble the proud (Proverbs 16:18; Proverbs 11:2; Proverbs 29:23; James 4:6).
Instead, humility comes before honor (Proverbs 18:12). We can never truly and honestly submit to the Lord without humility. He honors those who do, just as He did with Mary. She became the mother of our risen Lord, and was loved and cherished by Him throughout His time here on earth.
So, what can we learn from Mary? In times of uncertainty– when the Lord is calling us to a place or to circumstances unknown, like Mary we can grow in our faith in these ways:
#1: Listen intently to what God is calling you to do.
As Gabriel spoke his message from God straight to Mary (Luke 1:28-33), she didn’t interrupt or overthink it. She didn’t jump from “A” to “Z”, wondering about all of the letters in between. There was no verbal comeback or hint of extreme disbelief in her response.
You too can have this heart attitude. Be still and quiet long enough to actually hear what the Lord is saying. Make sure you understand His Words and the things He is pressing upon your heart. Don’t immediately jump to conclusions or get wrapped up in the details.
#2: ALLOW GOD TO HANDLE THE DETAILS.
After she heard the message, her only question was simple (yet, I’m sure all of us women completely understand why she’d ask that!). She just needed a tiny piece of the puzzle to help her make sense of it all, and that was that.
God is not the Author of confusion. Even if He calls you to do something but doesn’t give you a bunch of details (which is often the case!), it profits you nothing to try and figure out “how to get there” or what you’ll do when you arrive.
God will provide for you, sustain you, and keep you every step of the way.
#3: Take the Lord at His word.
Gabriel explained to Mary that the Holy Spirit would come upon her, and her child would be called the Son of God. In case she needed more encouragement in the power of the Lord, Gabriel also gave her word that her cousin Elizabeth was pregnant in her old age (Luke 1:35-37).
Mary simply took the Lord at His word, believing all of these things immediately– not because she thought she was worthy, but because she knew her God. She knew her God was big enough to handle all the details. To work things out. To give her the grace and steadfastness she needed to live out this calling.
Sister, do you take the Lord at His word? When He calls you to something big or small, or something a little frightening, do you respond in a way that presents yourself as a humble servant, ready to do His will?
He is the same God now as He was back then. If He entrusted Mary with carrying the Savior of the world in her womb, will He not also trust you to carry out whatever task He is calling you to?
SISTER, LET’S Walk by faith.
Please don’t be like I was during that hot August in 2012. Please don’t buck at the Lord’s word. Please don’t listen more to the counsel of others— no matter how godly it may be— if you have a clear conviction from the Lord.
Trust me, it doesn’t end well. Until…
You submit. You bow in humility. You release the pride. You let the Lord have His way.
His way is always best for you. You can’t see the full picture. You don’t know everything that lies up ahead– all the blessings, the honor, and the ways your life will glorify Him.
But He knows.
So trust Him, sister. Humbly submit. Step out in faith.
He can’t wait for your relationship with Him to grow more deeply as you do.
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5 Surprising Ways Busy Moms Waste Time
Being a busy mom is a thing. But are we so busy that we are wasting time? Learning how to…
Did you ever grab your phone and hop online for a bit, maybe just to make a quick post or respond to a notification you received? Did you start this process at 7:00 pm and spend “5 minutes” on social media, only to realize that 5 minutes later was actually 7:30 pm?
Time is a mysterious thing, isn’t it? It “goes quickly” when we don’t want it to, yet “goes slowly” when we’re impatient.
Why, oh why does time change tempos according to our circumstances?
Of course, I’m being a bit facetious. We all have the same 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute. Time doesn’t actually change speeds, we just feel like it does in our minds. Based on the way we view our current situation, we believe we don’t have enough time, that time has gone by too quickly, or time is dragging.
It’s in our minds. In our choices.
You see, sister, we can waste time by the choices we make. Just like my example with social media above, we can easily let our minds get sucked into the moment and before we know it, the time flew by, as they say.
I’m sure you agree with me that wasting time isn’t good– especially in our role as mothers. Our motherhood needs to be attentive, effective, and productive– all to the extent that the Lord leads.
But, if we want to learn how to be productive and how to stop wasting time, we’ve got to pay attention to the decisions we’re making and the actions we’re taking. Are we letting our mind lead us, or are we allowing the Lord to lead us?
The speed of time won’t change– but we can.
How to Stop Wasting Time
Before we talk about how to be more productive as a mom, we need to look at what could be wasting our time. There are many things we choose to do that can get in the way of us making time for God, our spouse, and our children.
If you’re constantly feeling “spent” and like a weary mama, yes– it could just be the season you’re in; however, I also think it’s wise to look at what fills your day and consider whether or not you’re redeeming your time well.
5 things to stop doing today
If you’re wondering how to stop wasting time, here are a few tips:
#1: Stop giving yourself unlimited screen time.
One of the worst things parents can do is give their children screen time unleashed, right? Well, it’s the same for us, mom! Just as you do with your kiddos, you can schedule your own screen time and set a time limit.
Find a time of day that you set aside for social media, checking emails, and watching tv. As you do with any calendar appointment, do what you need to do on screens in that timeframe, and when time is up, time is up!
Maybe this is over lunchtime, naptime, or after the kids are in bed. Whatever the time, make it a habit to not look for the remote every moment you get bored or grab your phone at each notification ding. (Bonus Tip: Unless it hinders your job, business, or ministry, turn off your notification sounds for these apps so you aren’t tempted throughout the day!).
#2: Stop wasting downtime.
Yes, moms– we do have downtime! Seriously, we do. In these precious moments of downtime, you can find time to connect with the Lord through His Word. (Hopefully, this is bonus time if you’re aptly getting in good quiet time each day! If not, find 22 ways to make time for God, here.)
Download a Bible app onto your phone, like Blue Letter Bible, Bible Gateway, or YouVersion. While you’re third in line at the bank drive-thru, waiting at the grocery checkout, or watching something heat up in the microwave, open your app and read a verse or two.
If you’re struggling with a slight addiction to social media, move all of your social apps to a folder on your home screen, and put your Bible apps front and center so they’re more easily accessible. When you feel the itch to check your social feeds, practice opening your Bible app instead!
#3: Stop engaging in wasteful things.
Examine your life and find the timewasters. Maybe this is social media, TV time, hobbies, or unproductive relationships. Perhaps you simply need to limit the time spent in these areas, or they need cut out altogether. If there are things that are too distracting or pulling you from the Lord and your family– either mentally or physically– they may be wasteful.
#4: Stop saying ‘yes’ all the time.
If certain things aren’t in God’s will for your life, say no. Sister, we must learn to entrust our plans to the Lord.
Proverbs 28:26 tells us that when we trust in our own hearts we’re behaving foolishly; yet, there is safety in walking wisely.
I’ve heard it said many times that the safest place to be is in the will of God. I don’t believe this is just for the big decisions in life, like whether or not you should uproot your family and become missionaries in a foreign country. No– this is in the small things too— the everyday decisions that you think the Lord doesn’t care about, but He does.
He wants you to be in the center of His will 24 hours a day.
So, even if opportunities present themselves that look and sound good, that doesn’t always mean you should say yes.
The best of things can waste your time if they aren’t what the Lord has for you.
#5: Stop turning off your ‘productivity switch’ when your kids are occupied.
Limit your children’s screen entertainment time. This may seem like an odd suggestion; however, I’ve noticed that when my kids are allowed to veg out in front of the TV or on their tablets for an extended time, that is when I find myself becoming lazy. I start scrolling. I begin doing busy work that doesn’t matter.
When your children are available and ready to actively engage with you, you don’t have the luxury of getting sucked in by a time-waster.
Free Download:
These handy sheets walk you through the process of taking inventory of your daily activities to discover what is wasting your time.
Investigate your time wasters, then use the Prayer worksheet to prayerfully consider the Lord’s will in these areas of your life. Track how the Lord answers your prayers!
A warning about being Idle
I believe that learning how to stop wasting time is different than learning how to be more productive.
Removing time wasters isn’t enough. Learning how to stop wasting time means that we have to choose to eliminate distractions and things that cause us to go astray during our day.
But, once we do that, we have a bunch of empty holes. And, when there are too many empty slots in our schedule, we can become bored.
Yes, even as a stay-at-home mom, we can become bored. Even as a working mom. A homeschool mom. A ministry mom.
In all of these seasons of motherhood, there is always room in the emptiness or our “lack of interest” in the things of life that can lead us towards an enemy: idleness.
What does the Bible say about idleness?
The Bible mentions that the Proverbs 31 woman was diligent to watch over the affairs of her house. In doing so, she didn’t make time for idleness (Proverbs 31:27).
I’ve found that idleness leads to a lack of interest in the important aspects of life, especially spiritual things.
We begin to look for entertainment in a variety of ways, new endeavors, or friendships to give us something “interesting” to look forward to in our days.
Idleness takes our eyes off Jesus and puts them onto the things of the world.
Although Paul is addressing this issue in relation to young widows in 1 Timothy 5:13, what he says about being idle doesn’t only happen to widows. I believe it’s a warning to any of us who choose to have too much time on our hands:
“At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also they become gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention.”
What I’m about to say isn’t a slam on those who spend ample time on social media (I too have various social accounts!), but I’ve often thought— as I’ve read different posts or comments— that some people simply have too much time on their hands.
If we have time to engage in every bit of drama happening in our extended family, with our friends, and in the world, then my dear sister— dare I say, we are trapped in idleness.
We are striving to create something “exciting” in our lives.
As Paul says, this opens the door for us to become busybodies, gossips, and talk about things we ought not to. Does that sound like what you see sometimes on social media?
In short, idleness leads to other sins in our lives, and should be avoided at all costs.
How to be more productive every day
I know it seems as though I’m picking on social media a lot! I promise you, I’m not a certified hater of it. I am, however, not a fan of engaging in any form of entertainment that lets you lose track of time for hours on end because your mind is so occupied that nothing else can get past the wall.
So, whether it’s Facebook, movies, binge-worthy TV, the latest gossip magazines, and the list goes on– we need to be careful and let the Lord guard our hearts and minds against things that heavily distract us.
“Whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. ”
5 ways to boost your productivity
In order to be more productive every day, there are a few things you can do:
#1: Ask the Lord for guidance.
What does He want to use to fill in the holes? The worst thing you can do is start making your own plans and fill in your schedule with things you think are important. Instead, seek the Lord and ask Him what He intends for your life in this season. Allow Him to be your Master Planner.
#2: Get up early.
There are many benefits to rising early before your household, especially when you have little ones. Proverbs 31:15 tells us that the infamous Proverbs 31 woman did this so she could begin to prepare for the day.
Maybe you’re not an early riser, and that’s ok. Perhaps waking up a mere 20 minutes before your children will help you jumpstart your day and mentally prepare in a way that doesn’t allow when your children are your alarm clock.
Getting up early also gives you space to have quiet time with the Lord so you can begin your day wrapped in prayer and spending time in the Word.
#3: Prepare for the day ahead.
It’s easier to be more productive if we plan for tomorrow. Be ready for the meals you’ll cook. Look at the appointments on the calendar. Prepare school lunches, pick out your outfit, double-check the diaper bag– whatever tasks that seem mundane and only “take a few minutes”-- these are great things to get out of the way the night before.
Starting the day one step ahead always puts an extra pep in your step.
#4: Prayerfully create a schedule for yourself.
Following the Lord’s lead in what He has for your life today and in this season, create a schedule that works within those parameters. Whether it’s a daily, weekly, or monthly schedule, consider what needs to be done, and put a plan into action.
If you’re working on eliminating time wasters in your day, creating a daily schedule is a great way to be sure you’re focusing on fruitful things.
#5: Get organized.
If you’re already an organized person, you probably have this step down! If you’re typically not organized, finding the simplest area of your life to organize will help you in your desire to be more productive every day.
Perhaps laundry falls to the wayside. Create a simple weekly chart outlining the specific days you’ll do each person’s laundry in your household.
Or, maybe you’d like to concentrate on teaching your children some new life skills. Create a chore chart to help everyone stay on track.
Don’t overcomplicate organization. Start small, and move forward from there.
Being a “busy mom” is a thing, but…
Sister, learning how to stop wasting time is one of the most important things you can do.
Lean into the Lord and ask Him to help you avoid the areas of your life that aren’t pleasing to Him. Prayerfully consider what you need to do to be more productive every day.
Being productive isn’t about becoming busy for the sake of being busy. Every single block on your calendar doesn’t need to be filled in.
I was just explaining this concept to my older kids, as they tend to jump from one activity to the next, with no rest time in between.
Having a constant flow of input into your mind and stimulation to your body isn’t good either. We need time to mentally break and hear from the Lord in the quietness of our souls.
A packed calendar doesn’t allow for this. So beware, there is danger in having too much in our lives.
This is where you need to consider what the Lord has for you in your season– not just your overall season of life, but your minute-by-minute season as well.
…it’s better to be fully surrendered
I know being a “busy mom” is a thing, and so often that’s our reality. But, let’s not wear our busyness as a badge.
Let’s purpose to be fully surrendered to His plans, whether to be productive; or to be still, so we can be totally and completely in His will for our lives.
7 Spiritual Life Skills We Learn from Peter (Part 2)
Dear sister, sometimes life can distract us, right? Sometimes we get so weighed down by the amount of to-do’s we have, that we…
Dear sister, sometimes life can distract us, right? Sometimes we get so weighed down by the number of to-do’s on our list, that we lose sight of our daily disciplines. In our haste or impatience, we forget how we are to act. We forget how to respond to people. We forget where we should be focusing our time.
We lose sight of how to properly do life.
As we talked about in Part 1 of this series, the Bible is chock full of knowledge for us— about God, how to live life, and how to conduct ourselves as Christians.
But head knowledge isn’t the only thing God wants us to have. He desires for us to walk worthy of our calling, and walk in our newness of life as believers.
So, welcome to Part 2 of Spiritual Life Skills We Learn from Peter. This time we’ll dive into 2 Peter 1:5-10; but before we get to the practicality, let's look at a few promises at the beginning of the epistle.
Biblical truths in 2 Peter 1: 3-4
To understand why these practical skills are so important, and how we’re able to walk them out, allow me to first remind you of a few truths we see in these verses:
“…as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.””
First, you need knowledge of the Lord.
Obtaining knowledge of the Lord comes through reading the Word, praying, fellowship, and spending time with Him. You must experience Him yourself, just as you would in any other relationship you have.
the Knowledge of God empowers you.
Through the knowledge of the Lord, His divine power gives you all things pertaining to life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). Absolutely everything you need to know and possess to live a godly life, fully pleasing to Him, is accessible and obtainable to you.
Understand that it’s by His excellent power.
We see in verse 3 that it is not a working of you; instead, it’s by “His glory and virtue.” Because this is who God is— He called you. Hallelujah. But not only does He call you (and that would be enough!), but He also gives you exceedingly great and precious promises (2 Peter 1:4). If there is any doubt, remember that God’s Word is always true and steadfast; therefore, you can rely on His promises!
You are a partaker of His divine nature.
Through His exceedingly great and precious promises, He allows you to be a partaker of His divine nature. Through your sanctification, as He’s working in you, you have the ability to become more and more like Christ.
A Woman Living on Purpose
Here comes the practical part. This promise and privilege are where the rubber meets the road. It is here where you need to allow God to work through you so you can do life properly— on purpose, if you will.
It’s not enough to just know that He calls you a daughter and heir. How are you walking in that? Are you being a light in the world, reflecting Him? Are you a good steward of this promise?
Let’s start with our faith in God.
2 Peter 1:5-10 then tells us how we’re to live as partakers of the divine nature and heirs of the King of kings. We start with one skill or characteristic, then continue to add more to the pot.
But, the foundation of the recipe is faith.
This is our faith— our saving faith. Our faith in God as the One true God. Our faith in Christ, that through the power of His death and resurrection we have eternal life.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God…”
Our faith:
Allows us to believe the things the Lord has done, and believe Him for what He promises He will do (Matthew 17:20).
Yields trust in Him (Mark 4:40).
Impacts the world when we share it (Romans 1:8).
Our faith in Christ brings forth our righteousness (Philippians 3:9).
Our faith in God establishes us in our Christian walk. It’s what puts our feet on solid ground because our foundation is in Christ, and therefore we are in right standing with God. So then, through this establishment of faith, we can walk worthy of our calling.
The following 7 Spiritual Life Skills found in 2 Peter 1:5-10 are several of the ingredients when added and mixed with our faith, that help us to walk worthy:
#1: Be virtuous in all you do.
Our conduct should be set apart from the world’s.
What is virtue?
Virtue means “a virtuous course of thought, feeling or action; moral goodness.”
The word “virtue” in verse 5 is the same word we see in verse 3. It refers to God’s moral goodness or excellence in His power. Because we are partakers of His divine nature, His moral goodness should show up in our lives.
We can ask ourselves— Are our thoughts virtuous, right, and moral (Philippians 4:8)?
As believers, we should have overall moral goodness infused in our daily lives. If so, it will be evident in how we treat those inside and outside of our homes.
#2: Grow in your knowledge of God.
Deeper knowledge of the Father yields a deeper relationship with Him, and a heart that desires to live virtuously.
what does it mean to grow in the knowledge of God?
The word used for knowledge means, “growing in a deeper way of knowing God; moral wisdom in living.” Again, this isn’t just knowing information for the sake of knowing it— it’s knowledge that gives us a deeper understanding of and intimacy with the Father, and a knowledge that leads to wisdom.
“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. ”
When we grow in our knowledge of Him, we also gain the power to admonish each other (Romans 15:14).
Not only this, but the world is “counting on us.” As believers, we are to reveal God’s knowledge throughout the world (2 Corinthians 2:14). There are those who may never pick up a Bible, but by your actions— your knowledge on display— you reveal to them the goodness and greatness of God.
#3: Live with self-control.
How to have self-control is one of the greatest lessons we can learn, from childhood to adulthood.
How to have self-control
Self-control means we can master our desires and passions. It is one of the fruit of the Spirit, and hands down one of the hardest things to master in our Christian walk! Undoubtedly, self-control is impossible to master in our own power.
What do we need to control in our lives? Anger, outbursts of wrath, lust, evil desires? Maybe it’s pride or an obsessive need to strive in certain areas of our lives.
The Lord never calls us to be out of control, even as we follow Him. Walking in the Spirit and being sensitive to His promptings is how we can begin to exhibit self-control in our lives.
We gain self-control by yielding our lives to Him, and allowing Him to be in control.
#4: Persevere through trials— the big and small.
Keep on keeping on.
Why is perseverance important?
Perseverance is having patience, endurance, and the ability to wait. It also means we are not able to be moved even during the toughest of trials.
Romans 15:5 tells us that endurance and perseverance are given to us from the Lord.
We need endurance for our Christian walk (Hebrews 12:1) because it’s long, and difficult at times. Trials come our way, and sin tries to entangle us; yet, we cannot give up. This is when we need to wait and trust in the Lord.
In James 1:3, we see that endurance and perseverance are the end result of the testing of our faith, and when we let it have its full effect, we lack nothing.
The world is watching— they are watching to see how you hold up under pressure; under the weight of daily life. What will you do? Will you fold, or will you glorify God as you give them an example of a saint who runs the race set before her, waiting and trusting God ‘til the end?
#5: Godliness should be our apparel.
Our life’s moments should reflect Him, not ourselves.
What is godliness?
Godliness is respect and reverence toward God. This happens by way of our thoughts, actions, and interactions with others. We should be living to the glory of God.
As we already reviewed, through His power, the Lord gives us everything we need pertaining to life and godliness.
Sisters, we must pursue righteousness at every corner, putting off our old ways; fleeing from immorality, and living in the freedom we have in Christ.
“Rather, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily training is just slightly beneficial, but godliness is beneficial for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. ”
Yes, it takes discipline, self-control, and perseverance to live this way. But, I’ll say it again— by His divine power, He gives us everything we need in order to do so. Therefore, we have no excuse.
#6: Exhibit brotherly kindness.
Generously serve your sisters!
Brotherly love and loving one another
Because God has shown us how to love, we can love one another.
Romans 12:10 calls us to be devoted to one another in brotherly love. This isn’t something that we should do once in a while; no— the Lord calls us to be devoted. We have a responsibility to do good, especially to those in the household of faith (Galatians 6:10).
As we read in Part 1 of this series, the word fervent means “exhibiting or marked by great intensity of feeling.” As we also discussed therein, that passage (1 Peter 4:8) refers to agape love.
The word “love” we’re now discussing in 2 Peter is philadelphia love, or brotherly love– and is the same word we see in 2 Peter 1:22, “Since you have purified your souls in obedience to the truth for a sincere love of the brothers and sisters, fervently love one another from the heart.”
Whether it is agape love, or brotherly love, we should love one another intensely and sincerely. This should be evident not only in the things we say, but in the things we do.
#7: Exude the strongest form of love.
The last word “love” that we see in 2 Peter 1:7 is agape love.
Read: Part 1: Spiritual Life Skills We Learn from Peter
The progression of this verse is saying that we should show brotherly love and affection to one another, but within that, we should do it in agape love. A strong, genuine, “not expecting anything in return” kind of love that is shown as you love your brothers and sisters in Christ.
Love with an extra helping of love. Are you following, sister?
Why is agape love so important?
Agape love is the same type of love that God demonstrated toward us when He sent Christ to die for us (Romans 5:8).
In this love, we are not hypocritical (Romans 12:9); we are patient and kind.
We are called to do everything in agape love (1 Corinthians 16:14).
Let’s be diligent to let the love of Christ have its full effect in our lives.
Godly Characteristics for the Godly Woman
So, what is a godly woman? Sister, what it all boils down to is our relationship with the Lord. All of these spiritual life skills and godly characteristics lack their true meaning without the Lord working in us and through us to do them.
Through our knowledge of the Lord, we can have the desire to do these things– to put these spiritual life skills into practice. 2 Peter 1:8 says that if we walk out these godly characteristics, we will be fruitful in our knowledge of the Lord; yet, if we choose not to put these traits and skills into action, we will forget that we were cleansed from our old ways.
Putting these skills into action draws us closer to the Lord, allows Him to mold us to be more like Him, and keeps us from stumbling in our walk (2 Peter 1:10).
Sister, you’re a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), so walk in that newness of life! Let go of your old ways.
These godly characteristics and spiritual life skills are just a handful of the numerous traits the Lord calls us to as His daughters. Yet, this isn’t a daunting task– just let the Spirit lead you moment-by-moment, day-by-day as you walk them out one step at a time.
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4 Spiritual Life Skills We Learn from Peter
It’s not enough to just have a bunch of Bible knowledge in our heads. As Christian women witnessing to a dark world, we also need to walk out the knowledge we have. We can turn to…
I’m a practical kind of girl. If you’ve read any of my other posts, you’ll quickly see that I’m all about encouragement and a bit of exhortation, but I also love to share some practical tips as well.
That’s because it’s not enough to just have a bunch of Bible knowledge in our heads. As Christian women witnessing to a dark world, we also need to walk out the knowledge we have.
We can turn to self-help books and Ted Talks all we like, but when it comes down to it, the Bible should be our number one resource for the “How To’s” of life.
Sometimes I think we overlook the fact that the Bible is chock full of practical life skills and all the how to’s we need. As it says in 2 Peter 1:3, His power has given us “all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him.”
God Himself, through His power, gives us everything we need to live a fruitful life that is glorifying to Him.
But, it comes through the knowledge of Him— seeking Him, getting into His Word, and communicating with Him. We need to tune into the Lord.
So sisters, put your antennas up and dial into the Lord’s station. Turn to 1 Peter in the Bible. Peter, through the power of the Holy Spirit, has a few things to tell us.
This is Part 1 of a 2-part series because let’s face it— Peter was a man of action and always had a lot to say!
But thank God for that, as being one of Jesus’s closest disciples, there’s much we can learn from the first-hand knowledge and wisdom He acquired from the Lord.
Let’s jump into the 4 practical life skills we learn from Peter, focusing on 1 Peter 4:7-11.
#1: Be serious and watchful in prayer.
This life skill is also a very important spiritual discipline!
What is prayer?
Said plainly, prayer is our communication with the Almighty God. Because of Christ’s death on the cross, His blood covering our sins, and His resurrection, we can boldly approach His throne anywhere, at any time. We can speak with Him about our life, our children, our hurts, and our joys— and He always hears us.
The fact of the matter is, that things are happening in the world all around us, whether they directly affect us or not, and— Jesus is coming back. As Peter says in verse 7, “the end of all things is at hand.”
These attitudes and life skills we have should keep this truth in mind. Being serious and watchful in prayer means that we should prioritize prayer. Make it an important, daily occurrence. Pray in secret. Pray corporately. Pray with your spouse and children. We cannot be flighty about it.
“The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”
When you say you’ll pray for someone, pray for them. When you see things happening around the world, pray for the Lord’s will to be done. When you know a family member or neighbor is battling something, take it to the Lord.
We can pray, knowing that the Lord hears us and wants to hear from us. He is mighty and His hand can move according to our faith and trust in His power to do so.
#2: Have a fervent love for each other.
The word love in this verse is “agape” love.
What is agape love?
Agape love is a strong, genuine love, affection, and goodwill between people, or between us and God. It is the kind of love for which we see the long list of attributes in 1 Corinthians 13.
Fervent means “exhibiting or marked by great intensity of feeling.”
This isn’t just a superficial, “love ya” that so many of us toss around from time to time. This is a passionate, zealous, and intense form of love that we display in our words, actions, and deeds towards others.
What does this “fervent love” look like?
Go out of your way to help someone.
Do the thing, even when it is inconvenient.
Put others’ needs before your own.
Have compassion for those going through trials.
Invite someone over to share joy, or to weep with them.
Pray for them.
Give up your Netflix binge time in order to watch your friend’s children, so she can go to an appointment, or just have some quiet time.
There are so many ways we can show agape love. But, we must remember that love is an action, not a feeling. We may not always feel like being loving, but God calls us to do loving things all the time.
#3: Be hospitable, without grumbling.
Many of us don’t have trouble being hospitable. Maybe it’s not our strong suit– whether we’re not the best cook or we don’t have the best, most comfortable house– but we’re willing to show hospitality.
What is hospitality and how can we show it?
Hospitable means being generous to guests. We don’t have to have the fanciest food and dishes. We just need to have a willing heart– one that is open and always ready to meet people at their needs, whether it’s for a 25-minute coffee chat, or for a warm meal and dessert.
The problem we see in this spiritual life skill is when we start to grumble while showing hospitality. Grumbling, in the Greek means, a complaint or secret displeasure not openly avowed. This is the same word we see in Philippians 2:14, “Do all things without complaining or arguments.”
We can’t truly be hospitable unless we serve for the sake of serving, in brotherly love, and with good intentions. Be generous. Don’t complain under your breath as you serve– in doing so, you aren’t serving with the right heart attitude.
Or, possibly you’re getting flustered because you’re trying to serve them “too well.” Any good, genuine friend won’t care whether or not your floor is spotless or there is noticeable dust on your lamp. It won’t bother them that you didn’t break out the fine china dishes.
This also includes serving guests in your home but being upset that no one is helping you serve them. As we see with Martha, sometimes the Lord would rather have you sit at His feet— and in this case, go sit with your guests as you sit and fellowship at the Lord’s feet (Luke 10:38-42).
Grumbling ruins any servant's heart that we may have at the moment.
#4: Use your gifts for the benefit of others.
The way we are good stewards of the gifts that God has given us is to not bury them and let them go to waste. This life skill is so crucial in our unification in the body of Christ.
What are spiritual gifts and what are their purpose?
God has given each of his children gifts. He doesn’t want us to sit on them, or ignore them. As we read in 1 Peter 4:10, Peter instructs us to use our gifts for the benefit of and to minister to other believers.
Our brothers and sisters in Christ can be strengthened and built up when we use our gifts. This isn’t really negotiable; it’s what enables the body of Christ to be able to function as a whole (1 Corinthians 12:12). When we forsake using our gifts– whether it’s out of fear, laziness, or lack of confidence, it affects other parts of the body.
Yet, when we use our gifts and each member of the body does its share, this results in “growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love” (Ephesians 4:16).
Focusing on using our gifts for the benefit of others helps us to keep our hearts set in the right place as well– in that, we’re less likely to use our gifts for show or personal glory if we’re thinking of others first. You can learn more about the purpose of spiritual gifts, here.
If you’re not sure what your spiritual gifts are, ask the Lord to reveal them to you! He wants you to use them, not just unbeknownst to yourself, but in wisdom and intentionally. I also would encourage you to explore these verses to learn about the various spiritual gifts: 1 Corinthians 12; 1 Corinthians 14; Romans 12:3-8; Ephesians 4:7-16.
We have one goal: To glorify God.
The purpose of honing in and intentionally growing in the life skills we see in 1 Peter is not so that we can appear to be some sort of perfect Christian. It’s certainly not so that we can receive all the praise and applause.
Every believer's goal, in all that we do, is to glorify God. We must choose to live for the Lord on purpose, no matter how tired or busy we are. We can draw strength from the Lord, walk worthy of our calling, and live for Him as we serve others.
I exhort you to make every effort to:
PRAY, for your own benefit to grow in Him, and for the sake of others.
LOVE in a way that represents the hands, feet, and heart of Christ.
Show HOSPITALITY and make others feel seen, heard, noticed, and appreciated.
Use your GIFTS to serve and build up your sisters in Christ. He’s given you something to offer.
And, in all of these things, sister– when we are mindful and purposeful in doing them, we glorify Him.
“I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. ”
To the Woman Who Can't See Her True Beauty
No matter what the world tells you real beauty should look like. No matter who is on the cover of the trendiest magazine. No matter what the…
A Brief Note of Encouragement
Sister, come on in. Grab a cup of coffee. Have a seat. Listen to me very closely:
You are a woman of incorruptible beauty.
No matter what the world tells you real beauty should look like. No matter who is on the cover of the trendiest magazine. No matter what the mean girls said to you when you were in high school.
You are a woman of incorruptible beauty.
No matter how that outfit fits you today. No matter how much that bad haircut gives you a perpetual bad hair day. No matter how unkempt you feel as you look at the Instagram of the latest beauty influencer.
You are a woman of incorruptible beauty.
Even though you believe you are the least put-together mom in the car line. Even though your shoes are less fashionable than those of the woman sitting in the row behind you at church. Even though your co-worker’s latest highlights give her that flawless summer look, and you haven’t had your hair professionally done in 10 months.
You are a woman of incorruptible beauty.
Even though you compared your non-workout physique to your friend’s sculpted body yesterday. Even though you are rarely complimented on your outward appearance. Even though the mom next to you gave you a sideways glance as you fed your children cheeseballs for a snack instead of organic, sugar-free granola bars.
You are a woman of incorruptible beauty.
Even if I’ve never seen you, I can say you possess beauty. Imperishable beauty. The type of beauty that no one can ever strip from you.
Why?
your beauty comes from the Lord.
1 Peter 3:3-4 tells us that our adornment shouldn’t solely be our outward appearance, but instead, it should be the hidden person of the heart.
A heart that yearns for the Lord. A heart that trusts in Him. A heart that desires to know Him more deeply.
A heart wherein its satisfaction, value, and worth come from the Lord produces an incorruptible beauty in the form of a gentle and quiet spirit.
This type of beauty doesn’t change with the trends. It’s not validated by the amount of Instagram likes it receives. It doesn’t go out of style.
“So the King will greatly desire your beauty; because He is your Lord, worship Him.”
A quiet spirit is incorruptible beauty.
Quietness means there is rest, peace, and calm. You can focus on the Lord in quietness. In the quietness of the Lord’s presence, you drown out the noise of the world shouting what “true beauty” is. This quietness means you are “undisturbed from without”.
As you lead a quiet life, keeping your focus on the calling the Lord has placed in your own life, you honor Him (1 Thessalonians 4:11). Because you see— this “hidden person” is not really hidden. She is not hidden from the Lord. He sees the inner place of your heart; the quietness of your soul.
A gentle spirit is incorruptible beauty.
The gentleness you portray in your thoughts, actions, words, and deeds is beauty in the sight of others. Because you desire to be gentle and lowly in heart, like Jesus, you are beautiful. In this humility, you find rest for your soul (Matthew 11:29).
A fear of the Lord is incorruptible beauty.
In your humble fear of the Lord, you glorify Him. And, let it be known that incorruptible beauty exudes from within you when you glorify Him.
Because you seek the Lord, yearn for Him, and get to know Him better, you are a woman who fears the Lord.
Because you fear the Lord, your beauty is hidden inside the deepest depths of you. It is precious to God.
You, yes you, are precious to God.
And your beauty can never be stripped away.
Your reverence to your Lord is incorruptible beauty. Your respect and biblical submission to your husband is incorruptible beauty. Walking out the fruit of the Spirit in your parenting is incorruptible beauty. Honoring the Lord in your quiet time is incorruptible beauty.
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”
Sister, today I encourage you to know your worth.
Understand your value in the Lord. Meditate on the fact that you are a daughter of the King. Remember the mercy He sheds and how His grace abounds in your life.
sister, today I exhort you to look in the mirror.
Look in the Lord’s mirror– this morning; before you go to bed; tomorrow; next week. The reflection He provides you with outshines whatever standard of beauty the world is dying to impose upon you.
The world’s charm is deceitful and its definition of beauty is ever-fleeting. Don’t give in to these things.
No– today, purpose to wear your quiet and gentle spirit well. Fashion yourself in the fear of the Lord.
Can you see it, sister? Do you see yourself in the mirror?
You look like someone who is precious in the sight of God.
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3 Ways Pride Manifests in Motherhood
Should I be a proud mom? I think this question crosses a lot of our minds when we think of our kids. There is nothing wrong with…
Recently my daughter and oldest son were playing a game where my daughter was a princess. They came to the dinner table and when I called her name to ask her to do something, she politely responded with a correction: “It’s Princess, mom.”
They continued their pretend play throughout dinner using their make-believe names, while my husband and I (the humble peasants, perhaps?) looked on.
After dinner, as usual, it was time for the kids to do their chores. As my daughter began to walk away from the table, I reminded her that it was her turn to sweep the floor.
“But I’m a princess,” she said. “Princesses don't do chores.” She said it with a smile, jokingly, and in character. I knew she was just being silly.
Unfortunately for her, my imagination switch wasn’t turned on at the moment. It had been a tiring day, I wasn’t feeling well, and even with the completion of their chores, I knew I still had clean-up work of my own to do. I needed to not be the one who also swept.
I gave her a look, and in all serious (with a little sass) I replied,
“Jesus is the King and He washed people’s feet.”
“Oh. Oh yeah.” With a slight grin in her “aha” moment, she did an about-face and marched to get the broom.
The proud mom throne
The truth is, many times as moms we are playing the same game. We’re princesses, or probably more accurately, queens of our own little established kingdom.
We may not talk ourselves out of cleaning or chores due to our royalty, but our throne manifests itself in various other ways.
Our throne is so shiny that oftentimes we don’t recognize it for what it is. Because of this, it can easily get out of hand and infiltrate multiple areas of our lives, especially motherhood.
I’m talking about pride. Let’s chat about this.
What is pride?
We normally think of pride as thinking too highly of ourselves and acting accordingly. When we’re prideful, we tend to live and play by our own rules and expect everyone else to follow suit.
Or, perhaps it leads to a feeling of entitlement— thinking we are owed something because of who we are or what we’ve accomplished.
Dare I say, pride can also come at the other end of the spectrum. When we think too lowly of ourselves, think we aren’t good enough, or how we are not up to par compared to others, that is also pride. Why?
When we think we aren’t good enough compared to others, that is saying that we believe God made us incorrectly. We are saying we think that if He’d done a better job, we’d be better off.
The proud mom
Should I be a proud mom? I think this question crosses a lot of our minds when we think of our kids. There is nothing wrong with being proud of our children when they do good things, get good grades, achieve in sports, or we catch them displaying godly character traits in their interactions with friends.
These things are all well and good and can be used to honor the Lord.
But, this isn’t the type of pride we’re talking about. There is a type of proud mom that hinders more than helps our motherhood.
Pride comes before the fall
The dangerous pride is what is warned about in the Bible. This is the pride that leads to destruction (Proverbs 16:18). It puts us in a position where we think we know best, even better than God. Even if we don’t use those exact words, typically that is the attitude behind pride.
Yet, if you were to look up Bible verses about pride, you’d see clearly that the Lord opposes the proud (James 4:6) and in fact, the proud are eventually torn down.
Did you hear the one about the guy who turned into an ox?
King Nebuchadnezzar’s story in the book of Daniel has always been interesting to me. Such a powerful and prideful man, Nebuchadnezzar was considered the greatest king of the Babylonian Empire.
This is the same Nebuchadnezzar who built a tall, gold statue of himself and demanded everyone bow down to it. When Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego didn’t, they were thrown into the fiery furnace.
Sometime after this event, however, he is given a dream that Daniel interprets for him. The dream shows him that he needs to humble himself and recognize that the Lord rules, and He is the source of power, greatness, and wealth.
Unfortunately, Nebuchadnezzar doesn’t seek humility and after 12 months, as he is proclaiming his greatness aloud, a voice speaks to him from heaven, God passes judgment on him for his pride, and:
Immediately the word was fulfilled against Nebuchadnezzar. He was driven from among men and ate grass like an ox, and his body was wet with the dew of heaven till his hair grew as long as eagles' feathers, and his nails were like birds' claws (Daniel 4:33).
Ok, so maybe he didn’t literally turn into an ox! But talk about quite a judgment! Nebuchadnezzar spent the next 7 years of his life this way until he finally humbled himself before the Lord and gave praise and honor where it was due (Daniel 4:34-35).
“Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of heaven, for all his works are right and his ways are just; and those who walk in pride he is able to humble. ”
What pride looks like in motherhood
Just as we see in Nebuchadnezzar’s life, pride keeps us from doing what’s right. When you’re a proud mom, you start to make your own decrees in your own little kingdom.
Pride creates an obstacle to God’s grace in your life because He gives grace to the humble, not the proud.
Once Nebuchadnezzar humbled himself, the Lord gave him grace, restoring to him his kingdom, his majesty, the favor of his counselors, and as he narrates, still more greatness was added to me (Daniel 4:36).
Still more greatness. That’s God’s grace.
Mama, I’m here to tell you– heavy is the head that wears the crown. I know. I’m on my throne too, right next to you. Let’s learn a lesson from an ancient king, and at the same time examine our own lives.
Pride in motherhood looks like a few of these things:
#1: We use the phrase, “Because I told you so,” too often.
There is a difference between discipline or training up our children, and barking out orders. The things we’re telling or asking our kids to do should have a reason behind them, and depending on their age, it should be a reason that can be explained to them.
Now, I know there are times when it’s warranted to use this phrase, and our children should obey because that’s what they’re called to do.
However, when we see ourselves as the queens of the castle, it’s easy to simply throw out commands all day and expect our humble servants to follow suit.
Be led by the Spirit
As we allow the Holy Spirit to lead us in our parenting, we will find patience, gentleness, and self-control. We will find the humility to stoop down to their level and help them understand what we’re asking them to do and why– which oftentimes allows them to see the importance of the task.
On the opposite, when we tell our kids what to do all day without any training or explanations, we’re simply teaching them to only obey rules for the sake of obeying rules and a ruler.
Is obedience important? Yes! The Lord calls children to obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1) and we are called to obey the Lord. But, doesn’t the Lord make His “whys” clear to us in the full counsel Scripture? Has He not sent the Spirit to dwell in us to help us understand and direct us in the things He calls us to do?
If the Lord Almighty on His throne is willing to be patient with us as we walk out obedience, should we not do the same with the children with whom He’s entrusted us?
#2: Our worth as a mom is wrapped up in our children
It may be surprising to hear that pride in motherhood comes in the form of your children determining your worth as a mom.
Maybe, based on how well they behave or what others think of them, we form a belief of “how good of a mom” we are.
Or perhaps, it correlates to how you choose to raise your kids: how organic or homemade their food and snacks are, whether they’re homeschooled or in the classroom, or the activities in which they’re involved.
If your teen goes through a rebellion phase, you feel your worth diminishes.
If your child graduates as an academic achiever and star athlete, you feel all the more worthy.
Mama, take off the crown. These are all false feelings, made-up standards, and lies. Worth is found in Christ and Christ alone.
Our worth is found in the One who is worthy
Before we were born, He formed us in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13).
Even when we were still dead in our sin, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).
And in Him, we are blessed with every spiritual blessing, chosen, holy and blameless before Him, adopted, redeemed, forgiven, and have an inheritance sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:3-14).
Nowhere in any of those verses does it say that we have to be a mom to obtain these blessings and promises. It also doesn’t say that our kids’ behavior at the mall yesterday taints any of them.
He is our all in all and from whom our worth and value come. It doesn’t fade or wrinkle.
But, when we think our identity and worth are wrapped up in the actions of our children, that is pride. It’s pride because inadvertently we are saying that how we have raised them is the key factor in determining our value.
The problem is, however, that our kids change and grow. Their character changes, sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse.
Yet, God created us with value, and if He is the one who sustains us and He doesn’t change, then our value and worth don’t change either. He redeemed us. And upon accepting that redemption in Christ, we are given a whole slew of other benefits and blessings.
It has nothing to do with us.
#3: We’re easily disappointed when our kids don’t live up to our expectations.
Comparison is a dangerous thing. We can easily find ourselves scrolling through social media, holding up the reflection of our lives against our friends or those we follow. We can have discussions with other moms from our children’s school and compare their kids’ academic abilities, behavior, socialization skills, and athleticism with our kids’.
Maybe it’s comparison that creates unnecessary expectations for our children.
Or, maybe it’s the latest parenting advice we received from a professional, or every other mom on the block who has happily given us her opinion.
Then there is the way we were raised. We can easily look back at our childhood, contemplate the good and the bad, the wishes and wants we had, and impose them on our kids.
We expect them to live a certain way, behave a certain way in public, and have certain kinds of friends. And, when our children miss the mark, we’re disappointed.
Do you expect too much?
You see, mama, the rules and decrees we’ve created can sometimes serve little purpose. It’s ok to be intentional and mindful in your parenting– in fact, it’s typically a good idea!
But, when we take these mindsets a too far, expecting our little kingdom to look a certain way inside of the house, and to present itself perfectly outside of the house, we’re in the danger zone.
Here, we’re at risk of concealing God’s grace in our everyday lives with the expectations in our do’s and don’t’s, and the failure behind our disappointment. It stifles the ability of our kids to see God’s hand moving in their lives in situations where they struggle or are weak because instead of seeing God’s grace, all they can think about is how they plucked a head of grain on the Sabbath and they shouldn’t have done that.
Expectations lead to weariness
Too many expectations leave our kids feeling overwhelmed and under pressure. And, mama, if we’re constantly feeling disappointed with our children’s conduct, we’re also likely feeling weary and we need to take a look at our own methods.
Let’s be sure the rules and expectations we’re placing on our children are age-appropriate, biblical, and profitable in our training of them in the way they should go.
Proud mom or boast in the Lord?
Mama, we can do this. We can step down from our thrones. We can toss the crowns to the side. Right now, as we are here on this earth, let’s show our children that the King of kings has His rightful place on the throne in our hearts. Let’s display His kingdom, not our imaginary one.
Let’s show our children that it is Him who has done all things for us– He gives life, He provides, He leads the way, and He sustains us.
We are not a force to be reckoned with or someone to bow down to. When we are living as proud moms, we’re blocking our children’s view of the throne. His throne.
Step aside.
As we do, in our humility, He will exalt us in due time.
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Sister, You Are Not Alone
A friend of mine recently told me that she has been feeling lonely lately. Despite having numerous “close” friends, people that she’s known for many years, she feels…
A friend of mine recently told me that she has been feeling lonely lately. Despite having numerous “close” friends, people that she’s known for many years— she feels isolated and alone. Her friends are lax about reaching out, even if they don’t see her for weeks at a time. If she doesn’t want to go out to see them due to the health issues she wrestles with, there isn’t a chance for true companionship, as they don’t make much of an effort to visit her when she stays in.
She feels alone. Rejected. Misunderstood.
It’s hard to figure out how to stop feeling lonely when every attempt you make for fellowship is to no avail.
Sadly, her story isn’t much different from a lot of others. Since the height of the COVID pandemic in 2020, many of us can relate to this feeling of isolation and unasked for solidarity.
And, like my friend, whether we’re introverted or not— we’re sick of it.
What is loneliness?
Loneliness is different from being alone. When we are alone, that means we are physically by ourselves, with no one else. Sometimes this is by choice.
Loneliness, however, is a state of mind. It’s the feeling of not being seen, heard, and understood. We can be lonely whether we are physically alone, or we can be lonely when we’re in a room full of hundreds of people.
No matter the personality type, or whether we’re outgoing or introverted, loneliness is a real feeling that any of us can feel, depending on the situation at hand.
What does the Bible say about loneliness?
When looking in the Bible, the word “alone” is used a lot, but many times it’s used in reference to the power of God.
O Lord of hosts, God of Israel, enthroned above the cherubim, You are the God, You alone, of all the kingdoms of the earth; You have made heaven and earth. (Isaiah 37:16 ESV)
Let them praise the name of the Lord for His name alone is exalted; His majesty is above earth and heaven. (Psalm 148:13 ESV)
The word “alone” is rarely used in reference to people.
“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. ”
David speaks of feeling lonely (Psalm 25:16), which is no surprise when we think about how much time he spent fleeing and hiding from King Saul and his army of men who sought his life.
No doubt Elijah was probably feeling lonely as he hid from evil Ahab and Jezebel in a cave. After taking out their prophets at Mount Carmel, they were fed up with Elijah and sought to kill him. Elijah spoke to the Lord, saying that he alone was the last of the prophets of the Lord (1 Kings 19:10). He feared for his life and felt he was standing alone against the world.
David and Elijah were both physically alone and lonely. And, for many of us, it’s when we are also alone and lonely that we forget one of the most important truths we should cling to.
God is With Us
We can easily become overwhelmed, depressed, and anxious when we focus more on our situation, the lack of participants in our lives, and our feelings— instead of focusing on the fact that God is with us.
I believe the reason why the Bible doesn’t use the word “alone” when referring to His people is that we truly aren’t alone. The Word constantly reminds us that the Lord is with us wherever we go (Joshua 1:9). He is beside us and goes before us. He never leaves us or forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:6).
“At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.”
As Paul so eloquently stated in 2 Timothy 4:17, the Lord stood by him and strengthened him. And, He does the same for us.
Dealing with loneliness
If you’re in the midst of loneliness now, whether you’re surrounded by loved ones, or you’re physically alone— and you’re wondering how to stop feeling lonely, just know that you are not alone (no pun intended!). There are many in your shoes, walking out the same struggle as you.
Thankfully, there is so much hope in the Lord in this area. Through prayer, His Word, and other people, He's given us tools to help us navigate these waters. But most importantly, He's given us His strength as He walks beside us.
15 Things to Do when you're lonely
If you’re wondering what to do when you’re lonely, here are 15 practical tips you can put into practice today.
#1: SEEK THE LORD.
Above all, this is the number one thing to do. When you seek Him, He reveals Himself to you in ways you cannot imagine. He wants you to know Him truly and deeply.
#2: DON’T FORSAKE YOUR DAILY QUIET TIME.
Make time to sit in His presence, no matter how you’re feeling. It’s much easier to binge-watch Netflix so you don’t feel lonely, but superficial entertainment doesn’t compare to inundating your mind and soul with the Lord’s goodness.
#3: SPEND TIME IN PRAYER.
Loneliness often stems from feeling you have no one to talk to. Why not exchange words with the One who created you? He hears you, wants you to come before Him, and will hang onto your every word.
#4: FIND REFUGE IN THE LORD.
God is your hiding place and your protector. When you seek Him, He gives you all you need to grow in your faith and trust in Him more. In the vulnerability that loneliness brings, rest assured that you can find safety in Him.
#5: LINK ARMS WITH 1-2 OTHER PEOPLE.
There’s so much power in a godly friend. All it takes is for 1 or 2 sisters to make an effort to reach out to you on a regular basis— to say hi, offer encouragement, or see how you’re doing— to make you feel less isolated.
If you don’t have someone who does this for you, I’d encourage you to ask. It may seem awkward to request this of someone, especially if you aren’t particularly close, but in this process, the Lord will use her to uplift you, and He’ll cultivate a close relationship between you two. It’s a win-win.
#6: DON’T FORSAKE FELLOWSHIP WITH OTHER BELIEVERS.
The Lord doesn’t want us to live in isolation— that’s where our idle thoughts can take us to dark places, and fear and anxiety can grow. Go to church, join a small group, and make an effort to get out and about.
#7: GUARD YOUR HEART AND MIND.
Be mindful of what you’re allowing into your sense gates. God calls us to guard our hearts and our minds (Proverbs 4:23; John 14:27). There are many influences that surround you, but they need to be filtered out. The world will distract you from remembering God’s truth and His promises for you.
#8: SPEND TIME STUDYING THE PSALMS.
The Psalms is a great place to go when you are feeling lonely. David and the other psalmists share raw thoughts, feelings, and emotions as they deal with deep sadness, isolation, and fear. Yet, hope is always right around the corner.
#9: REMEMBER THE LORD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU.
We know this, but we often forget. Ask Him to help you feel His presence. Take time to study Bible verses about God being with us: Deuteronomy 31:6; Isaiah 41:10; Psalm 23:4; Psalm 139:7-10; Joshua 1:9; 1 John 4:16; Psalm 16:11
“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”
#10: DON’T SEEK FALSE INTIMACY WITH SOCIAL MEDIA.
Drowning in other people’s lives may make you feel less lonely, but this is false intimacy. Eventually, seeing so many happy faces on your social feeds will let thoughts creep in that whisper things like you are the only one who is alone and feeling this way. Everyone else is having fun except you. You are missing out.
If you struggle with these types of thoughts, I suggest avoiding social media until you’ve established deeper friendships off-screen.
#11: INVITE SOMEONE OVER.
It may have to be you who takes the first step. Don’t wait for someone to offer to visit you. Be daring– you invite. You ask. You host. Even if it feels overwhelming at first, you’ll be so glad for the company.
#12: GO TO “THAT THING” EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT.
It can be hard to go to an event where we believe we’ll feel anxious or even more lonely. However, I find that when I go places I don’t initially feel like going to, I leave feeling refreshed and renewed. Sometimes it’s because I met someone new or had an interesting conversation. Other times, it’s because I’m simply proud of myself for doing something that was a little difficult to do!
#13: BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH.
Vulnerability is key. It’s not easy. It’s uncomfortable, for sure. But, you know what? Vulnerability connects people. It allows others to see into the depths of your soul, see your hurt, and feel your pain. It allows the other person to relate and empathize with you, and when that happens you’ll no longer feel so lonely.
#14: ACCEPT HELP.
Don’t think that you can do everything on your own, including combat your loneliness. Let others in. There are people in your life who would love to help you if you’d only ask. And, if they offer– don’t turn them away! Helping you will likely bring them joy, and who knows– maybe they’re feeling lonely too.
#15: JOURNAL.
Journaling is a great way to get all of the thoughts swirling around in your head onto paper. It’s freeing to get them out, especially if you're dealing with anxious thoughts. Write your prayers to the Lord and ask Him to meet you where you are. He will.
Or, list the things you’re grateful for having and the people you’re grateful for knowing. Look back at the end of each day and write down things you’re glad the Lord has given you, or the situations He’s put you in.
“You make known to me the path of life, in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
The Lord is bigger than your loneliness
When dealing with loneliness, please remember that the Lord is bigger than what you’re feeling. He’s strong enough to handle it and take care of it for you. Let Him in. He wants you to feel His presence and lean on Him during this time. Trust that His plans and purposes for you are good.
But, you have to want it, sister. You have to want to not be lonely anymore. Don’t wallow in it. Be purposeful about what you’re letting influence your thoughts and feelings, especially when you’re alone. Time by yourself is good, but be aware of how much time you’re allowing yourself to be alone.
And, when that loneliness begins to creep in again, remind yourself that God is with you. He will never leave you or forsake you.
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